Until I Find You
by spirithorse
Summary: After a horrible attack, the Britannian royal family is scattered. Ten years later, knights are sent after one of the lost princes, expecting nothing more than to hear that the prince has been dead for all those years. Based on the movie, Anastasia.
1. Prologue: The End of the Line

**Author's Note: **So, while this isn't technically from the Code Geass kinkmeme, I did get the idea from it. Basically, Code Geass Disney based fics were requested and Anastasia was mentioned. After watching the movie myself, I decided to write it anyway because it was too good of an idea to pass up. Just as a warning, I am going to be playing with Marianne's character a bit from what we see in the series.

**Warnings: **character death, explicit sex

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Code Geass or Anastasia, they both belong to their respective owners.

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><p><strong>Until I Find You<strong>

**Prologue: The End of the Line**

Lelouch squirmed as his mother's maid finished straightening his suit, bounding away from her and back over to his mother's side. He glanced up at her, his smile disappearing when he saw that she was too busy talking with his father and Odysseus, his oldest brother. Lelouch pouted, looking around the ballroom. He wanted to go out and dance, but he wanted to dance with his mother first. She had promised that she would dance with him at least once before he was sent to bed.

Marianne hadn't been around lately, Lelouch forced to find ways to entertain Nunnally, Euphemia and himself in her absence. He wasn't able to make up the stories that she could and he didn't know what made a good fairy tale because, in his opinion, they were all quite silly. But he couldn't disappoint his favorite sisters just because he thought that the princesses in the stories were all idiots in the first place.

At a loss of what to do, he'd been listening around the palace. First at the Imperial Palace when they were in Pendragon and, later, at the Aries Villa that had been built in Japan after the first one had burned down in an accidental kitchen fire. Or, that was why he had thought that it had burned down, now Lelouch wasn't so sure.

He had been hearing a lot of rumors, the servants talking about how the empire had finally overreached itself and about how the people were finally striking back. Lelouch would have scoffed at them if he didn't know any better. Britannia was the greatest empire there was, and there was no way that she would fall, not with Schneizel and Cornelia working to assist their father. But the problem was that he _did_ know better. He had snuck looks at pieces of the newspapers and snuck into his mother's office to look at the letters that their father had sent her.

Recently there had been trouble with something called the 'Geass Order', something that Lelouch really didn't understand. The only mention of the group had been in his father's letters and not in the newspapers. The newspapers instead focused on calling the people behind the actions against Britannia terrorists. Either way, people were threatening the stability of the empire and, therefore, Nunnally. For her sake, he had to find out about these people and watch for them.

Unfortunately, he didn't know where to start. Usually he would ask Schneizel, but his older brother was away on business in the EU. Cornelia was busy supporting one of their allies in the Middle Eastern Federation, bringing the countries together after a brutal civil war. Lelouch didn't trust Clovis enough to talk about this, Clovis was too busy chasing after pretty young girls and admiring paintings. Odysseus wasn't much help either; he would just say that it was something that Lelouch shouldn't worry about because it was grown up business. His other sisters were too young or too focused on their upcoming marriages and the adults wouldn't bother to speak with him about the matter.

So that just left him on his own and Lelouch didn't even know where to start.

He sighed, looking out over the people that were dancing as the orchestra played, resisting the urge to bounce impatiently. He was the eleventh prince of Britannia; he was trained to behave perfectly at events like these. He had to or else his mother wouldn't allow them to come. She said it ruined her public image, and that was something they couldn't afford. So, because remaining at home was for little children and Lelouch was far from a child, he was on his best behavior.

Lelouch leaned towards his mother, subtly trying to listen into the conversation. He only paid attention long enough to hear 'Vincent on the move again' when he spotted a familiar face making his way through the crowd. Lelouch smiled and forced himself to walk down the steps to meet the two coming up.

He hid a smile in the sleeve of his jacket before offering his hand to Viceroy Genbu Kururugi, trying to remain serious as he watched Genbu's son.

Suzaku, as usual, looked completely out of place at the party. His suit was too big for him, the sleeves hanging over his hands, and his hair was in its usual ruffled mess. Instead of standing still, Suzaku was nearly bouncing in place, his shoulders slumped forward.

Lelouch shook his head, grabbing his friend's arm and towing him to the side, missing the annoyed look that Genbu shot him. "Suzaku, you look like a mess!"

"Hey, I stayed inside all of today and didn't move from my chair once this…thing was on." Suzaku glared at him.

Lelouch shook his head, reaching out to straighten Suzaku's collar, giving up a moment later as he tried to get the suit to sit right. "As my knight-"

"I'm not your knight yet, Lelouch. I'm too young."

"As my knight to be," Lelouch rolled his eyes, "you have to look the part. You reflect me, remember?"

"Of course I do, Lelouch." Suzaku snatched his hand back as Lelouch went to roll up his sleeves. He glared at Lelouch for a moment more before dropping his gaze to the ground. "I don't like coming to these things. I really don't. The people stare and I feel _wrong_. Father says that I have to come because I'm his son, the next viceroy of Japan, but I don't want to be viceroy."

Lelouch patted Suzaku's arm, careful not to mess up his own work. "Don't worry about them, they're just stupid."

"Then why do you try to impress them all the time?"

Lelouch sighed, scrambling to find a way to explain politics to Suzaku. He finally settled on a simplistic explanation. "There are more of them then me. So, if I promise to do a few things, then they won't try to hurt me."

Suzaku's eyes widened. "Lie?"

"Not exactly. Promise things that won't hurt you." Lelouch tipped his head to the side. "They're like remora."

"What?"

"Those fish that hang off of sharks. There's always a bunch of them, but they don't really do anything bad. They're just…annoying."

"Oh." Suzaku didn't seem to be calmed down; he just glanced over his shoulder at the nobles that were milling around before shrugging. "Alright then."

"Good. Now don't let them worry you. As long as you're with me, you're safe."

"At least until we get outside." Lelouch blushed as Suzaku smirked at him, ducking his head. He remembered all too well his first visit to Japan when he had been five. He had managed to get himself lost and hopelessly tangled in bushes. How Suzaku had found him was a mystery, but Suzaku had never left his side since. Despite proving that he could handle himself and that he had matured since he had been childish and naïve, Suzaku still insisted on bringing up that mistake.

"That was one time." Lelouch tried to glare imperiously at Suzaku, disappointed when it didn't work. It certainly worked on him when his father did it. He sighed and turned back to look at the dais where his mother and father were still talking. It looked like they would be at it all night, which meant that Lelouch wouldn't get that dance. And he had been looking forward to showing his mother what he had learned. Lelouch might not be able to ride or fence like Marianne, but he was sure that he was just as graceful as her. And that was something that she would approve of, or so he hoped.

He lowered his gaze to the floor, feeling Suzaku rest a hand on his arm. He smiled back at his friend, quickly grabbing Suzaku's hand before Suzaku had time to react. "Come on. Nunnally and Euphy can only stay up for another hour and Euphy has been asking to dance with you."

Lelouch chuckled at the blush that crossed Suzaku's face, towing his friend over to where his younger sisters waited. He smiled to himself as Suzaku stumbled through a greeting before carefully guiding Euphemia out onto the dance floor, holding her hand like he expected it to break at any moment. Lelouch shook his head, turning and bowing to Nunnally. "May I have this dance?"

His five-year-old sister giggled and took his hand, Lelouch carefully leading her through the complicated steps of the waltz. Every so often, he leaned down to whisper instructions or to explain who the nobles were, watching Nunnally frown in concentration. Their mother was always stressing how they should know the court well, know how to charm the nobles and act like the other royal heirs. Their common blood wasn't an excuse to fail, but an excuse to succeed. Lelouch thought he understood what his mother was trying to say, but more often than not it just meant that they had to try harder to get the few words of praise that Marianne was willing to give them.

Lelouch led Nunnally through two more dances, switching off with Suzaku to help Euphemia through a dance. He begged a rest afterward, escorting Euphemia to the side and glancing up to where his mother was waiting. To his dismay, she didn't seem to have even noticed him, still talking with his father. Lelouch was surprised to see that Bismarck was there was well. It was strange to see the knight anywhere other than behind his father's throne or lurking near the walls with the other knights.

He was distracted from his thoughts as he saw Suzaku walking over with Nunnally. The two had just reached him when a maid rushed over, sweeping Nunnally into her arms and declaring that it was her bed time. Nunnally whined but did not fight, Euphemia trailing after the maid as they headed upstairs. Lelouch watched his sister go, sighing when they disappeared out of the ballroom. Now he had nothing else to do, aside to talk with Suzaku. The rest of the nobles would only coo over him and insult him when they thought that he couldn't hear, which would just get Suzaku mad.

What he really wanted to do was walk in the garden. The maze had grown well since the year before and he wanted to try it out with Suzaku. He had been reading a book about how to navigate by the stars, something that seemed almost useless to him, but Suzaku was interested. He had hoped to be able to test his knowledge soon, but his mother had banned him from going outside without a large guard around him, which ruined the fun completely.

He pouted and leaned back against the wall, temporarily forgetting about acting like a royal prince. He glared at the people dancing until he felt Suzaku tug at his sleeve. "Lelouch?"

"It's nothing."

"Liar."

He sighed. "I want to go outside, Suzaku, but mother is worried about something."

"So is my dad." Suzaku looked around and lowered his voice. "People keep coming late at night to talk with him. I keep trying to listen in, but they have people watching the meetings."

Lelouch narrowed his eyes, glaring at Genbu Kururugi. He had never liked the man; especially not after Genbu had offered to marry Nunnally off to one of the rich families in Japan or even to himself to cement an alliance. Wasn't Suzaku pledging to be his knight enough? He relaxed as Suzaku tugged at his sleeve again, turning to his friend and letting Suzaku ramble on about his kendo lessons with Tohdoh.

It was easy to just let Suzaku babble about what he was doing in school and with his friends, Lelouch listening with a smile on his face as they kept to their corner. He actually laughed out loud as Suzaku outlined what his training regimen was for getting ready to become Lelouch's knight, Lelouch muffling his laugh at the last minute. It wouldn't do to be seen laughing like that about something that the son of the viceroy had said. It would put Suzaku in danger. Let the others think that he was just hanging around Suzaku because the boy was going to be his knight.

He jumped as the ballroom went quiet, turning to face the doors at the other end of the hall only to have Suzaku pull him back. Lelouch tried to struggle, quickly giving up as Suzaku pulled him back towards the dais and the steps behind it. From there, he would have a good enough view to actually see what was going on. And, as much as he hated to admit it to himself, it would get him closer to his mother, where he felt the safest.

Lelouch reached back to rest his hand on Suzaku's arm, steadying himself against his friend as he turned to look out over the crowd. He frowned as he saw a group of three people walking towards them, not recognizing any one of them. If they were nobles like the rest, then they were just coming to be introduced, but that didn't look like the reason, not if his instinct and Suzaku's grip on his arm were right.

He looked back up at his father, noticing that Charles zi Britannia was glaring at them, a sure sign that something was wrong. Not only that, but Bismarck had already pulled out his sword and his mother was reaching for where hers would have been. He watched her hand close around nothing, Marianne glancing at her hip before looking up at him. Lelouch immediately let go of Suzaku and scurried over to her, grabbing onto her hand and holding on, even when she pushed him behind her.

Lelouch peeked out from behind the ruffles of her dress, watching as Suzaku scurried to his father's side before returning his attention to the ground of people who had stopped at the base of the stairs, tensing when he realized that they weren't bowing. Lelouch swallowed and gripped his mother's skirts more tightly, watching as the man in front gave his father a slow wave. "Hello Charles."

"Vincent." His father's clipped tone was enough to make Lelouch want to scurry off. He had heard it too many times not to react. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, just listening to his father continue to speak. "I thought that you had understood our agreement."

"I wasn't much of an agreement, little brother. You took the throne when father died, after you were sure that I was out of the country. But," Lelouch peeked around his mother to watch as the man gestured, "I admit that I never wanted to rule."

"Then why are you here?"

"Well, it's obviously a celebration so that's one reason. And the other you've already heard about."

"Traitor."

"Harsh words, little brother." Vincent shook his head. "I think you're the traitor. You remembered our deal as children, right? To rule the world without lies."

"I've stuck to that."

"Have you?" Lelouch shrunk back as the man looked at him, shaking his head as Vincent gestured him forward. Vincent smiled, lowering his hand. "Sweet. But what do you call him? The last time I checked, your knight was nothing more than your mistress. I suppose that you made an honest woman out of her. Was that before or after the child was conceived?"

"You go too far."

"Have I?" Vincent leaned forward, stepping up onto one of the stairs. "How about the government that you run? It's corrupt, Charles. I bet even the people here can see that. It's built on the promises that you have made to people and countries, ones that you don't intend to keep."

"That's politics."

"I know. I know that as well as you do. But it can be changed so very easily." Lelouch watched his father take a step back as Vincent began walking up the stairs. "And all it takes is the removal of a few obstacles. Then the perfect world can exist. Isn't that what you want, brother? The perfect world?"

"Vincent…" Lelouch skittered away from his mother at that, too familiar with the warning tone to not react. He saw Suzaku start to head towards him only to be stopped by Genbu. Lelouch shivered, backing away until he was against the wall, watching Vincent.

The man seemed to have forgotten about him, instead focusing on Charles as he walked closer. "You promised me that once, and I believed you, believed you enough to let you keep the throne. And then you stabbed me in the back, you just went along with whatever you wanted to do."

"That's enough!"

"You're right." Lelouch shivered at the smile the man gave. "It is enough. And I've come to solve the problem."

Lelouch only had time to gasp as Vincent pulled out a gun and fired it, raising his hands to cover his ears after the shot. Lelouch cautiously looked back at the man in time to see his father falling forward, sprawling out over the stairs as his blood stained the carpet a deeper red.

Then his mother was there, picking him up and holding him close as she backed away, stumbling over her skirts. Lelouch pulled at her arm, wiggling until she let him go. He stumbled when he hit the ground, reaching back for her hand and beginning to pull her down a hallway. He couldn't think of anything other than the need to get out, to find a place to hide, but the only place that was coming to mind was the Kururugi's estate.

He could hear the screams from the ballroom and more gunfire, Lelouch clutching as his mother's hand as they ran through the halls. They had just started on a path to the back door, the one that they could take to where the cars were parked, when his mother gasped and jerked her hand out of his grip. "Nunnally!"

Lelouch stood in the hall a second after his mother had rushed off, his own eyes widening as he dashed after her. Nunnally was asleep in her room, completely defenseless since all of the guards would be helping repel those men..

He put his hands up over his head as he ran up the stairs, hearing the windows shatter behind him, his heart beating quickly. He could hear his mother somewhere ahead of him, managing to out run him despite her dress. And, somewhere back in the ballroom he had lost Suzaku. Lelouch felt horrible for just leaving his friend there, but Suzaku would be safe with the knights and his father. He would find him again after his mother and sister were safe.

Lelouch stumbled over the last stair, forcing himself onto his feet again and running down the hall, his mother already pulling open the door to Nunnally's room and rushing in. Lelouch followed her, catching a glimpse of his sister sitting up in bed before his mother blocked his view. He swallowed and slid into the room, carefully shutting the door behind him and backing away. It probably wouldn't be enough when those men came, but it would serve as protection for now.

He turned to face his mother and sister, watching as his mother coaxed Nunnally into some clothes and her coat, trying to wake up the sleepy girl. Lelouch sidled up to the bed, smiling at his sister and adding his own words of encouragement, all the while listening for the sounds of more gunshots. He didn't think that those men would just leave them alone to escape, not after what Vincent had said.

He shook his head, focusing on the present as his mother stopped speaking in a gentle tone of voice. "Listen Nunnally, you have to be quiet and stay quiet until we're out of danger. I know you're scared, but you have to do this."

Nunnally nodded, keeping her promise the next moment when the door was swung open, covering her mouth to prevent a scream. Lelouch turned around as well; ready to defend his mother and sister with the rudimentary martial arts that Suzaku had been teaching him, only to relax as Suzaku slammed the door shut behind him, panting for breath. "They're coming!"

"What?"

Suzaku pushed away from the door, walking over to grab Lelouch's arm. "They got past Bismarck and they're coming after everyone." He shook Lelouch's arm. "The soldiers are trying to get the royal family out. Something about cars in the back."

Lelouch looked at his mother, surprised by her resolute nod. Marianne stepped away from the bed and walked over to the wall, carefully pulling a panel out of place before walking back to grab Nunnally.

His sister squirmed in his mother's hold, reaching out for the little table beside her bed. "My necklace."

Lelouch waved them on, snatching up the locket that he had given to Nunnally on her birthday before shoving it into his pocket. He backed towards the panel, listening as the sound of running feet grew louder. He jumped into the passage, grabbing the edge of the secret door as he motioned for Suzaku. "Come on."

His friend hesitated before shaking his head. "My father…"

"They won't hurt him."

"You can't be sure of that." Suzaku shook his head. "My father works for the emperor, they might try to kill him as well."

"It won't do you any good to stay behind!"

"Lelouch, he's all I've got."

He glared at Suzaku, hating that truth. Suzaku's mother had died when he was young and, even though Genbu showed no interest in his son, he was the only family that Suzaku had.

Lelouch bit his lip, coming to a decision. He rooted around in his pocket, the one that didn't have Nunnally's necklace. He pulled out the pin that he had been keeping there, careful to pull it out so the wings wouldn't break. Technically it wasn't his yet, it was something that he had taken from his mother's desk, but he had wanted something to give to Suzaku when they left Japan again. He wanted to remind Suzaku of their promise to each other and make sure that Suzaku didn't forget him. It would be easy to forget one little prince when making friends wasn't a problem.

He reached for Suzaku's hand, dropping the pin into it. Suzaku glanced down at the pin, his eyes widening as he shook his head. "Lelouch, I can't…I'm not a knight."

"I know you're not, but just listen." Lelouch glanced at the door, listening to the shouts as they came closer. "This is a promise to me, alright?"

"What kind of promise?"

"I want this pin back and I want you to be the one to give it to me. I won't accept it otherwise." Lelouch closed Suzaku's fingers around the pin, backing further into the secret passage. "You have to promise that you'll make it out of here alive so you can give that back to me."

Suzaku stared at the pin clutched in his hand for a moment before smiling. "I promise."

Lelouch nodded and pulled the door shut, surprised when it snapped into place as soon as he pulled away. Suzaku must have shut it from his end. Lelouch swallowed, pressing his hand against the door before turning and running. His mother couldn't have gotten too far, not with Nunnally still half asleep and afraid. And she would be worried about him.

He met up with her quickly, Marianne taking one look behind him before grabbing his hand and towing the two of them down the passage. Lelouch didn't have the breath to speak or to comfort Nunnally; it took everything he had to keep up with his mother and not to jump at every strange sound that he heard.

Lelouch was breathing hard when they finally emerged from the passage into the kitchens. He hung onto his mother as she looked around before rushing out of the door and into the yard. Lelouch didn't even have time to look around, Marianne picking Nunnally up and getting a stronger hold of his hand before taking off at a run. Lelouch stumbled but managed to keep up.

He lifted his gaze from the ground, staring at the cars that were being filled and pulling away, the soldiers lined up and firing at the intruders. Lelouch spotted Jeremiah Gottwald, a relatively new guard assigned to his mother, waving at them. He smiled and tried to pick up the pace, his mouth dropping open as he watched the last car begin to pull away slowly.

Marianne didn't seem to notice. She dropped Lelouch's hand to hike up her skirts, sprinting the last few feet to the car before nearly throwing Nunnally in. Then she stepped onto the footboard, crouching low and holding out her hand for Lelouch.

He swallowed and forced himself to run faster, nearly tripping at the screams that came from the line of guards to his right. Lelouch glanced over for a moment, watching as the soldiers were forced back, the line bending until it snapped and the invaders pouring it. That was the only encouragement that he needed to speed up and to grab his mother's hand.

Lelouch yelped at the tight hold that Marianne had on his hand, gritting his teeth as he allowed her to pull him into the car even as it started going faster. He managed to jump up onto the footboard, bracing himself with one hand against the still open door. His mother smiled at him, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "You were really brave, Lelouch."

He beamed at her praise, adjusting his hold as Marianne slid further into the car, waiting until he could slide in and shut the door himself. Lelouch sighed and looked at his sister, smiling at her to help calm her. "I got your necklace."

She brightened, Lelouch shifting his weight to scramble into the car only to lose his balance when the car hit an uneven section of road.

He fell out of the car, hitting his head on the door, hard. His scream of pain was cut off as the bottom of the door slammed against his head, knocking him unconscious and sending him tumbling off the road and into the forest that surrounded the back drive. Lelouch rolled down the slope, finally coming to a stop pressed against a tree and hidden by a screen of bushes.

On the road above him, a screaming Marianne was pulled back into the safety of the car by Jeremiah before the door was slammed shut. The car only slowed a moment before racing off after the others, leaving the villa to the invaders.

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><p>Suzaku pressed a hand flat against the secret door, his other hand curled protectively around the pin that Lelouch had given him. He swallowed before taking a step back, he didn't want to give away where Lelouch and his family had escaped from, it was better that they disappeared. Suzaku glanced back towards the door, edging into a corner. All he had to do was to wait until the armed men had gone past, then he could slip out and find his father. After all, Genbu was probably just hiding downstairs and waiting for him. His father would never really leave him behind.<p>

He sucked in a quick breath and held it as he heard the first group rush past, pressing himself back into the corner. He felt the edges of the pin cut into his skin, releasing his tight grip on it a moment later. He didn't want to break this, not when he would be giving it back to Lelouch.

The smile that had briefly crossed his face disappeared as he heard another group of people running down the hall. Suzaku let out his breath slowly, slipping the pin into the pocket of his jacket and edging towards the front of the room. If they searched, he hoped that they wouldn't look behind the door. Then it would be easy to slip out. Lelouch had showed him some of the servants' staircases; maybe he could slip away through those until he reached the ballroom again.

Suzaku froze as he heard a familiar voice, staring at the door from his place against Nunnally's dresser. He frowned, tipping his head to the side as he listened to the man speak. "The princess should be here, and we're sure to find Marianne as well."

His heart started beating faster as he watched the door knob turn. It was one of the men who had come over to his father's house. One of those men was here trying to kill Nunnally and Lelouch.

Suzaku reacted without thinking as the door opened, waiting just long enough for the man to walk into the room before rushing over and punching him in the stomach. The man grunted and doubled over, Suzaku using the reaction to his advantage as he rocked back and kicked the man in the head. He stumbled backwards as the man went down, wincing at the loud thud that the man's head made as it hit the floor.

He spent a moment just staring at the unconscious man and breathing heavily before falling to his knees. The man would have a gun just like the rest of them. His fingers brushed over the end of the gun, Suzaku smiling and pulling it out of its holster. Hopefully the man wouldn't wake up and he could sneak out. Now people would hesitate before shooting him since he was armed as well, or so he hoped.

Suzaku jumped at the sound of someone walking towards the door, quickly getting to his feet and pointing the gun at the door in a manner that he hoped was intimidating. The weapon wavered a bit as Suzaku shivered, Suzaku watching as the door inched open.

"Atsushi? Atsushi are they in-Suzaku!"

He jerked backwards, tripping over the man on the floor as Genbu peered into the room. Suzaku felt his mouth drop open at the sight of the gun in Genbu's hand. "F-father?"

"Suzaku, what are you doing here?" Genbu seemed to realize that he held a gun, hiding it behind his back. "You should be down in the ballroom, where you're safe."

"B-but Lelouch-"

"Was he here?" Genbu looked around, walking into the room and flipping on the lights. Suzaku blinked rapidly to clear his vision, watching as his father blundered around the room. Genbu paused, when he had searched out all of the obvious hiding places. "Where are they Suzaku?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I don't have time for this. Where are they?"

"Why?"

Suzaku yelped as his father slapped him. He stumbled back a step, pressing one hand against his stinging cheek as he stared at his father with wide eyes. Genbu had never hit him before, even when he was misbehaving. His father had just used stern words and chores as punishment. Suzaku felt tears roll down his cheek, sniffing quickly and wiping his eyes as he father loomed above him.

"Don't question me, Suzaku. Now, where are they?"

Suzaku licked his lips, stalling for time. He would have to answer his father eventually and he wanted to answer with the truth, to prove that he was a good son and not the weakling that Genbu thought he was. But his father had a gun and he had just walked up here without any harm done to him. Suzaku stared up at his father. "A-are you with them?"

He was slapped again, Genbu crouching down at his level to shake his shoulders. "The answer."

"I don't know."

"Of course you do!" Suzaku yelped and dropped the gun as his father shook him. "You're that damn prince's pet, you useless boy."

He was shoved away as Genbu got to his feet, barely keeping his balance as he watched his father walk to the door, only then aware of the other people that had gathered there. He sniffed, falling to his knees and staring at the floor as he listened to his father speak to them, too shocked to do anything else.

"Are they here?"

"They have to be. There's no way to escape from here."

"Does the boy know anything?"

"Of course he knows. He's always hanging around here."

Suzaku flinched backwards as the men turned to look at him, curling further into himself at the disgusted look that his father gave him. He had thought that his father wanted him to be here, that his father wanted him to be friend with Lelouch. Genbu was always talking about freeing Japan from Britannia's rule and Suzaku had thought that this was the way that they were supposed to do it. If they showed the Britannians that they could be trusted or if he just got to know them well enough, then they would figure out that the Japanese weren't so bad and it was better to just let the country go. He was sure that there would be some more politics behind it, but that was what Lelouch was for, Lelouch was smart enough to figure it out.

They were supposed to be making friends with the Britannians, not war. War would just lead to people dying, and Suzaku didn't want people to die. He knew how it felt to lose the important people in his life, his mother had died when he was two and his nurse had died when he was six. He didn't want to inflict that sort of pain on other people.

"Are they even important?" Suzaku looked up, watching as one of the men leaned against the door. "I mean the woman is dangerous, but the kids? They're just bastard children anyway."

"They're not bastards, the emperor had recognized them."

"So, we kill them too?"

Genbu nodded slowly. "Yes."

"No!" Suzaku didn't remember scooping up the gun on the floor or firing it at his father. All he could think about was how easily Genbu had agreed to killing people, to killing his friends.

He only realized what he had done when his father dropped to the floor, Suzaku dropping the gun. He scrambled to his feet, backing up until he hit the wall, staring at his father's body. "F-father?"

"Did you see that?" Suzaku looked up, his eyes wide as he stared at the other men by the door.

"Yeah, the kid just shot him."

"Genbu said he was on our side."

"Apparently not."

"He was supposed to be our way in."

"Can we still use him? Can't we just send him after the ones that got out? They'll accept him."

"And then what? He just shot his father."

Suzaku shook his head, staring at his father's body. He hadn't meant to shoot, he had just wanted to stop Genbu from doing this. It wasn't right, none of this was right. But that had been no reason to just shoot his father, it made him as bad as the other men.

He reached into his pocket, wrapping his fingers around Lelouch's pin. A prince's knight wouldn't have done this; a knight would have shot to wound first. Even if his prince was in danger, killing would be a last resort. It had to be. Suzaku tightened his grip around the pin, using the pain from where the edges dug into his palm to center himself. He had just been defending Lelouch, but that had been no excuse to kill his own father.

He tried to scoot away from the puddle of blood on the floor, freezing when that drew the men's attention back to him. Suzaku whimpered and tried to curl up on himself, hoping that he would be forgotten again. Maybe, if they all just left, he could rush out of the secret door and go to find Lelouch. Lelouch would know how to handle this, Lelouch would have some justification that he could hold onto while he came to terms with what he had just done.

Unfortunately, the men didn't seem inclined to letting him go. They were all staring at him, the ones closer to him shifting further into the room. He shrunk back, clutching at the pin in his pocket.

"We can't trust him. Sawasaki knew the kid and he was still attacked. Genbu was killed. We can't trust this kid not to report back to his Britannian friends. Besides, wasn't he promised something."

"A knighthood."

"Yes, we can't trust him."

"Then what do we do?"

"Kill him."

Suzaku shivered, trying to edge back to the secret door. Now it didn't matter where he went, he just had to get out of the room.

"No." He stopped at the sound of the familiar voice, his stomach turning as he found himself looking at Taizō Kirihara. Suzaku swallowed, curling up. Kirihara had been one of the men who was over at their house the most. He had worked with Genbu in government, but Kirihara had also been apart of this scheme. Suzaku shivered under the old man's gaze, finding himself staring at the edge of the tattoo that he could just see under the old man's sleeve.

Kirihara smiled at him, carefully stepping around the bodies to walk to his side. Suzaku tried to pull away, but Kirihara just reached down and rested his hand on Suzaku's head. Against his better judgment, he leaned into the touch. He regretted it a moment later when Kirihara's grip tightened painfully in his hair, pulling his head back slightly. "We should keep him. The viceroy's son might be useful as a bargaining tool or as a rallying point. If nothing else, he can serve as an example of what Britannians do to our people."

Suzaku reached up with his free hand, trying to pull away from the old man. All he got for his trouble was a hard shake, Suzaku relenting a moment later, breathing heavily.

"So, what do we do with him?"

"We take him back." Suzaku looked away, trying not to look at Kirihara. He didn't want to see the smile on the old man's face. "We keep him close and see if we can't change his mind. Come on, Suzaku."

Suzaku licked his lips, staring at the group of people that he had known, the group of people who he thought had liked him. They had all seemed proud of his achievements and had always been happy to see him. And it had all been fake. Even his father, who had always told him how they had to work with the Britannians to gain peace, had lied to him. The only ones that hadn't lied to him were the Britannians. He knew that some of them had hated him and most of them didn't care about him. But Euphemia had cared, Nunnally had cared. Lelouch had cared.

None of these people cared.

"No." Suzaku tried to pull himself away, Kirihara refusing to let go. He winced but kept fighting. "No! I'm not going with you! Let me go!"

He struggled harder as the men who had lingered in the door came closer, scratching as Kirihara's hand with his free hand. Suzaku attempted to kick at the others who were coming close, screaming when one of the men grabbed his arm, another man leaning down to grab his legs. Kirihara let go of his hair, Suzaku twisting in the grip of the other men.

They almost dropped him once or twice, Suzaku hoping that he would be able to wiggle away before they walked out into the hallway. He didn't think he would be able to outrun them over a short distance; they all had longer legs than him.

He finally managed to twist out of their grip, twisting so he would land on the side that didn't have the pin. Suzaku didn't waste any time, scrambling up from the floor and rushing back towards the room. He didn't get too far, Suzaku managing a few steps before something hit him on the back of the head.

Suzaku grunted and fell to the floor, his head spinning and aching as he stared at the carpet. He felt the men pick him up again, but he didn't bother to struggle, he was too busy running his fingers over the pin to search for any cracks. When he was sure that it was safe, he got a better hold on the pin and didn't let go, not even feeling the men pick him up and start to carry him away.

* * *

><p>Marianne looked up as Jeremiah walked into the plane, not moving from her place beside Nunnally. If she could help it, she wasn't going to leave Nunnally's side again, even with all of this going on. She had already temporarily lost Lelouch. She wouldn't lose Nunnally the same way. Marianne bit her lip, gently brushing Nunnally's hair back from her face before settling the blanket more securely over her.<p>

Only when she was sure that Nunnally was settled did she turn her attention back to Jeremiah. "Report?"

The young man looked shocked for a moment, looking around the plane before clearing his throat. "They've been looking since the orders came in, but there's no sign of him."

Marianne shivered. "They can't have him."

"They don't." Jeremiah took a step forward before bowing, addressing the floor instead of her. "The soldiers managed to clear the villa after the…rebels cleared out. They're laying out the bodies now for easier transport, but Prince Lelouch was not among them."

"So, search the grounds!"

"The rebels are still there." Jeremiah shook his head. "They're sending reports as they clear out sections of the forest and the gardens, but they haven't found the prince. But there are large sections that haven't been checked, the focus is on the safety of the royals who are out here now."

"They're already safe."

"Plans have been made and…" Jeremiah looked up, giving Marianne a soft smile before reaching out to gently touch the tips of his fingers to the back of Marianne's hand. "My lady, no one wants to give up on Prince Lelouch, but there's just so much that we have to do. We're trying to work as fast as we can, but people are still panicking."

Marianne bit back her demand to forget about anything else and find Lelouch. She had once been one of those soldiers and it was impossible to forget about what that had been like. There had been nights where she had wanted to kill the nobles that demanded that they move faster, work harder for some stupid reason. She wouldn't do that to these soldiers. She muttered a curse and shook her head, gesturing with her free hand. "Just work as quickly as you can and get him back here alive."

"Of course, my lady." Jeremiah went to stand, staring at the floor as he backed away. "There is one more thing."

Marianne tensed, not liking the tone of his voice. She knew Jeremiah well; he had replaced her as captain when she had become the Knight of Six. She had personally observed him over a week to make sure that he had been doing his job properly and they had remained close friends since then; aside from the week when she announced her engagement to Charles. She had chosen him as one of her retinue as a form of apology, she knew that he loved her, but she had loved Charles. She still loved Charles.

She bit her lower lip and stared at the floor. "What?"

"Our orders are to clear all of the remaining royals back to Pendragon as soon as they all get here."

Marianne narrowed her eyes. "No."

"I can't argue the orders. They make sense." Jeremiah swayed in place, Marianne gesturing for him to sit before he began to pace. Jeremiah hesitated for a moment before sinking into one of the nearby seats, rubbing his hands over his face. "Marianne, please, don't argue this for your own sake."

"My son is still out there."

"And we're looking for him. Every guard at Aries volunteered when I mentioned what had happened, because they knew you. They all love you, Lelouch and Nunnally. And I can promise that they won't stop until he's found. But they can't focus on their job with you and the others still here." Jeremiah looked up at her, his hands trembling. "The emperor is _dead_."

"Oh my God."

"We need an emperor on the throne, especially with this. That's why we're sending you all back, Schneizel needs to be crowned and on the throne as soon as possible."

"Schneizel?" Marianne was having trouble wrapping her mind around what Jeremiah was saying. Charles couldn't be dead; he was too big of a presence to just disappear like that. Even when he had just been the crown prince, Charles had been noticeable in public, always out showing himself to the people and gaining the army's trust. The Britannian Empire and Charles zi Britannia had been synonymous for so long. "B-but Odysseus is the crown prince."

"He's dead. Princess Guinevere can't be found. Prince Schneizel is the next in line." Marianne found herself nodding, still processing the list of the dead. She looked up as Jeremiah stood again. "We want to prevent the loss of any more lives, especially if it will throw the empire into a panic."

"But…Lelouch…"

"We'll return with him as quickly as possible, I can promise you that."

Marianne slumped in her seat, waving Jeremiah away. She was still reeling from losing Lelouch so suddenly, the loss of her husband and some of the royal heirs that she had known was too much. Marianne gave a ragged sigh, pulling Nunnally into her lap and clutching her close. As much as she had hated the other royal wives for their hatred of her and her common upbringing, she found herself sympathizing with a few of them. She was suffering from the loss of a child, but at least she had hope that he would be found again, but the others couldn't be gotten back.

She brushed Nunnally's hair back, looking up. Marianne jerked back in her seat as she saw the person sitting across from her. She pulled Nunnally up against her, automatically reaching for her gun, only for her hand to come up empty. She wasn't allowed to wear a gun at formal events, that had been the agreement between her and Charles, although now she was wishing that she had fought for that right harder.

"I never thought that you would greet me like that Marianne, not after everything we've done together."

"C.C." She relaxed as she recognized the woman sitting across from her. Marianne gently settled Nunnally back down, soothing her when she started to wake up. "Sleep, Nunnally, we're alright."

"Where's 'louch?"

"He'll be back Nunnally. He's waiting for the others."

She wasn't sure if Nunnally heard her reassurances, the girl settling back to sleep. Marianne resettled the blanket over Nunnally, pausing at the laugh from C.C. "I never thought you would be the motherly type. Especially after the fuss you made when you found out you were pregnant with Lelouch."

Her hand clenched in the blanket. C.C. ignored the obvious sign of annoyance, leaning forward with a smirk. "If I remember correctly, you just enjoyed the emperor's attentions and married him to keep his attentions. Or was it because you had a moment of womanly weakness, I could never get the story straight. My question is if you hated Lelouch so much, why did you have Nunnally?"

"It's not like that."

"Really?" C.C. leaned back in her seat, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. "Then were you lying to me?"

"Were you?" Marianne gestured at the red mark that was on C.C's head, hidden by her bangs.

She reached up to touch the mark, tracing the 'v' shaped with her finger. C.C. shrugged, combing her bangs back over the mark. "At least I'm not like the others. I didn't tattoo it to my skin and I don't believe what they do. I'm inside of the group because they allow me to move around without being seen."

"Then why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because I'm not trusted. It's a place for me to hide from my family, nothing more." C.C. raised an eyebrow. "I believe we had discussed this. My reasoning hasn't changed, but I think yours has."

Marianne glared at her, but didn't reply. Her reasoning had changed over the years, C.C. was right about that. She had originally just loved being the object of Charles' attentions; it was a heady thing to have the emperor's attention, especially when she was just a common soldier. His attention had given her the position as the Knight of Six, which was something she had always wanted to be. It was something that every soldier wanted to be, a Knight of the Round, recognition for their skills and their loyalty. To be recognized as the emperor's lover as well was just another perk. The only downside had come when she had gotten pregnant.

She had never wanted children; she had never made time for them. But, being a royal wife meant that she had to produce and heir and expected to have a spare just in case the first died. Most of the other royal wives hadn't been able to have a second child, they were just too busy collecting their own lovers or working within the court. She had been the only wife willing to work with Charles outside of the court, which was why she had stayed in his favor for so long.

But she had hated being pregnant and she had passed Lelouch off to a nurse at the first chance that she had gotten. Still, despite how she had wanted to keep away from him, Lelouch had always come to find her. Her first memories of her son had been him toddling after her as she went about her duties, even when she had tried to send him off. She remembered being amazed that he had loved her completely the entire time, since she had tried to get rid of him the entire time. His tenacity was the reason that she had tried a different approach with Nunnally. Lelouch had managed to change her mind.

Marianne sighed, shaking her head. "It has, but I don't regret it. At least I didn't end up like you, cold and still hiding."

To her surprise, C.C. smiled. "That's the Marianne I knew, and perhaps you haven't changed too much." She tipped her head to the side and laughed. "I might have just been jealous. I'm no longer the most important person to you. The emperor I could compete with, your children I can't."

Marianne relaxed, pressing back against the seat. "So, I assume that this means that you're on my side again."

"I never left your side." C.C. stood up, walking to the aisle.

She intended to let C.C. go, but she reached out to grab C.C's arm. C.C. turned to stare at her. "You need to promise me something." Marianne waited for a moment, making sure that C.C. was paying attention before taking a deep breath and finishing her request. "I need you to find Lelouch."

"Soldiers are looking for him."

"Yes, but what if your group has him and what if they don't find him."

C.C. shrugged. "Then they don't."

"You don't understand." Marianne tightened her grip. "I need to know that my son is safe. You might not understand the need, but you can still do this for me."

"I'll see what I can do." C.C. pulled away from her and walked away, Marianne watching her go. She waited until she could no longer see C.C. before sitting back. Now she could allow herself to relax a bit, with the guards and C.C. looking for Lelouch, he would be found, hopefully before they left.

She looked down at her sleeping daughter, hating herself for tearing up. People were searching for him and the rebels were gone. Lelouch would be fine, she was sure of it. But that didn't stop the tears.

Marianne sighed and cuddled Nunnally close, muffling her sobs into the blanket.

* * *

><p>Suzaku lay curled up on the floor of the little room that they had shoved him in, gently stroking the skin on his neck. It still hurt even though they had done it to him a long time ago, or what seemed like a long time ago. He couldn't even remember how many days had passed since he had been dragged into the room and left there. There was no light, no clock, no way to mark the passage of time; so he marked out his life by their visits to him.<p>

The first time they had just pulled him out and yelled at him before sending him back, Suzaku still reeling and numb from the realization that he had killed his father. He still couldn't remember what they had accused him of; he had been too busy accusing himself. It was not right to just kill like that, for no other reason than being angry, he realized that now. He should have known better, should have known not to lose his temper, because bad things always happened when he lost his temper.

The second time, they had settled him in a comfortable room and had just talked to him. Suzaku didn't pay attention, so he had been shoved back into his room. The men had waited a long time until they had come back for him. By then, he had stopped caring, because he had failed everyone. He had killed his father, the man who had raised him and who he respected. He had saved Lelouch though, and that was the only reason he was here. These men thought that they could find out where Lelouch had went if they asked him, but they would have to kill him first.

The third time, he had been spoken to again. Suzaku had listened as they explained why they had killed the members of the royal family, not really understanding their reasoning. According to them, they were trying to free all of the countries that Britannia had a hold over and to eliminate all lies. When he had told them that they would just end up lying to the people again, he had gotten slapped. After that, he had remained quiet as they had explained their motives again.

He sat through seven sessions of this, never speaking to them about what they said. They didn't seem to notice that he never agreed with what they said, just that he listened. But he couldn't agree with what they had planned, not after they had tried to kill Lelouch. Then there were his morals to consider, they had all decided to ruin the peace that had already been planned out by attacking the Britannians. War wasn't the way to bring about peace; neither was forcing it on the people by violence. The agreements had been going well before they had resorted to killing.

Suzaku had been sure that he would have been able to sit through their recruitment speech for far longer if they hadn't gotten the news. On the eighth session, a man that Suzaku didn't recognize came rushing in, interrupting Kirihara with good news, at least for the group. The man reported that Lelouch was dead, he had been officially declared as such by Britannia and they were holding a funeral.

He didn't remember much from that day other than rage and pain. When he was brought back in front of Kirihara the next day, he found out that he had tried to strangle the messenger and he had fought back all the way to his cell. He was told this held between two men, Kirihara glaring at him from a place at the table. Then there came the speech about how Kirihara was disappointed with him, because he thought that Suzaku had understood what they were doing, and that it was no good to be friends with Britannians, they were just using everyone. Suzaku had fought and shouted that Lelouch would never use him or betray him, and that they were all wrong.

He had been sent back to his cell after that again and left to sit for a long while. Then, they had dragged him out and held him down while they had marked him.

Suzaku flinched at the memory, his fingers straying from their path and pressing against the inflamed skin. He yelped, quickly pulling his hand away and curling up more tightly on the floor. They wouldn't be coming for him again, he knew that much, they were disappointed with him. All of these men had hoped that he would have decided to turn to their side and then he could be sent back to Britannia as their puppet. But wasn't that what they had accused the Britannians of doing?

He closed his eyes, reaching into the pocket of his ragged jacket, closing his fingers around the pin there. This was the one thing that had kept him sane through the endless talks and some of the beatings that he had been given when he had been dragged back to his cell. Suzaku smiled and traced the outline of the pin.

He never took it out of his pocket, afraid that it would be taken away from him if anyone saw it. If it was taken from him, then how would he get it back to Lelouch? Suzaku didn't believe the man who had brought the news that Lelouch was dead; he had seen Lelouch escape with his own eyes. His friend was safe and waiting for him to come back, which was what Suzaku intended to do. He had promised Lelouch that much and he never broke his promises.

Suzaku shivered, tucking his chin against his chest. It was cold in here; they had taken away his blanket since he had protested too much before. It was likely that he wouldn't get much to eat either, but none of that mattered. He would keep looking for his chance to escape and then devote himself to protecting Lelouch. That had to be enough to make up for killing his father, devoting his entire life to protecting someone, to give his life for someone.

He froze as he heard someone walking down the hall towards him, Suzaku lifting his head and opening his eyes. He swallowed nervously and closed his fingers around the pin in his pocket, trembling. It was too soon for them to come and get him, he wasn't ready. He was still shaken and sore from when they had come before and he couldn't have them thinking that he was giving in.

Suzaku quickly wiped the tears from his cheeks, reluctantly pulling his hand out of his pocket. They could never find his pin; it was the one thing that kept him from just giving in. It was a reminder that he still had people outside of this place waiting for him, a place to go where he could try to make up for what he had done.

The door swung open, Suzaku sucking in a deep breath. It was getting easier to just make himself think about nothing, to just go blank. The men seemed to prefer when he was like that, it looked enough like he was listening to them that he was left alone.

His eyes widened as the saw who was standing in the door, not recognizing the woman. There had never been a woman any of the times they had come for him. He swallowed and stumbled to his feet. He swayed in place, his vision blurring. It must have been longer than he had thought, because he didn't remember being this unsteady the last time he had stood up. Suzaku tried to remember the last time he had been brought food, but drew a blank. He was brought water every day, but food was given to him on the days that he had been good.

The woman remained standing at the door, probably waiting for him to walk out into the hall. Suzaku licked his lips and cautiously took a step, smiling when he didn't fall over. They were just trying to frighten him by changing the schedule, but Suzaku was too tired and hungry to care. It was quickly approaching the point where he didn't care about anything anymore.

He managed to walk out into the hall, bracing himself against the wall. The woman watched him carefully before crouching down. Suzaku flinched back as the woman prodded at his neck, surprised when she pulled back and shook her head.

She grabbed his wrist and began to tug him down the hall. Suzaku didn't resist, trailing after her. When he was sure that she wasn't paying attention to him, he slipped his hand into his pocket, holding the pin again. He would survive this and whatever else they had planned for him. He had to.


	2. Chapter 1: It's the Rumor, the Legend

**Chapter One: It's the Rumor, the Legend, the Mystery**

_Ten Years Later_

C.C. stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway. She hadn't been to this place for a long while, not since she had come to search for Marianne's son here. Unfortunately, she hadn't been successful that day, although she had learned two things. One, that it wouldn't be safe to reveal where Lelouch was until she was sure that the men who ran the Geass Order were dead. Two, Genbu Kururugi's son had still been alive.

She flipped her hair back over her shoulder, glancing at the plain walls that made up the hallway. She hadn't expected to come back here after she had led Suzaku Kururugi from this place; it had become too dangerous for her, and far too boring. Her original reasons for joining with the group in the first place were because it offered her a place to hide from a mother who was always pushing her towards suitors and towards the men that were always trying to court her. She'd had enough of the hundreds of promises of undying love for her and had run away. In the Geass Order, she could live quietly and have an excuse to travel, which kept her from becoming bored again. Although, she had to admit that her life had gotten a bit more complicated now that she was out of favor with the leaders.

Circumstances had worked against her in the end. In a week, Lelouch wouldn't be safe any longer; he would have aged out of the system. So she would have to make sure that she knew what the Geass Order would be planning to properly maneuver Lelouch into place. Thanks to Marianne, she wouldn't have to actually help Lelouch find his way back, there would be someone waiting for him. And, just like that, her involvement was over with and she could move on with her life.

Move on to what was the next question she had to answer. C.C. wouldn't deny that this had been interesting, but she was sure that there was something equally as interesting out there. Or, if that wasn't the case, she would at least have the thrill of keeping one step ahead of the exiled men who remained within their defunct group.

She paused to look at the sigil painted onto the wall, chuckling at the bungled spelling of the group's name. Prince Vincent had named their group after the mythological _geas_, although it had quickly been misspelled by the rest of the group to geass. In any case, the spelling hadn't mattered, but the principle; that they had all vowed to eliminate the lies from the world. Unfortunately, Prince Vincent had a very childish view of the world and that had led him to being used by the Japanese government.

C.C. shook her head, giving the bird-like sigil one last glance before continuing to walk down the hall. The politics of the group didn't matter to her; she had abandoned them long before she had stopped drawing the sigil on her own forehead. What mattered was how they were going to move next, which was why she had returned despite the danger. There were still a few here that still liked her enough to speak to her, even if she had never tattooed the sigil onto her body or led their so called prodigy away.

She slowed as she heard someone rushing down the hall, the corner of her mouth twitching up. There was no way that she had gotten here unnoticed, most of the exiled men were too paranoid to just hope that their hide out was never found. But it was a relief that this person seemed friendly, any of the former members of the Japanese government would have approached her with caution.

The person rounded the corner, C.C. allowing herself to smile as she recognized Mao, the young man rushing up to her and hugging her. C.C. bit back her usual caustic remark that he was too old for such obvious displays of affection, Mao wouldn't listen to her anyway. He was still clinging to the dream that they would be able to be married, despite the fact that C.C. had no interest in marriage or Mao and that the Geass Order would never let him go. Mao was an excellent assassin, with the right encouragement and that encouragement was fairly easy to give.

She gently pushed him away, allowing Mao to keep a hold of her hand as she looked at him. "Hello, Mao."

"Hello to you too." He was nearly bouncing in place. "I missed you, C.C. I really did. It was so dull here."

"They would have kept you busy."

"Hm?" He tipped his head to the side, staring at her for a moment before breaking into a wide smile. "Oh, they did. They did. I followed all of your orders."

C.C. narrowed her eyes at that. They were still using the same encouragement, saying that all of the orders were from her and that all of his victims were just bad people who were trying to hurt her.

She shook her head, not bothering to acknowledge his statement, it would be better if she didn't. "I just came back to see what you guys were up to."

"You're on a mission?"

"Yes." It was better not to explain.

"But Kirihara said that you weren't to be trusted with missions after what you did."

C.C. just smiled. Of course the word would spread through the group about Suzaku; she had just taken their most effective pawn, although she doubted that Suzaku would have become that. He was too stubborn just to give up his own ideology for something that was pushed on him with torture.

She cleared her throat, looking at the wall. "His plan wouldn't have worked."

"But we needed him. Everyone said we did, especially after we lost Genbu."

"Genbu was an idiot."

"It's not polite to disrespect the dead." C.C. tensed at the voice that drifted down the hall.

She stepped to the side, finding herself staring at Kirihara. With the deaths of Prince Vincent and Genbu Kururugi, Kirihara had taken over the group. From what she had heard, he had promptly kicked out all of the members who were using the Geass Order to work to free their own countries, leaving them to deal with Britannia on their own.

C.C. raised an eyebrow, walking around Mao to face Kirihara. The old man just smiled and gestured towards the open room. She hesitated before walking in, knowing that Mao would wait out in the hallway for her. While he could be clinging and annoying, there was no question that he would step in to help her. The irony almost made her laugh. The Geass Order's finest assassin was loyal only to her.

She chose to remain standing as Kirihara settled down at his desk after shutting the door. The old man shuffled the papers around, not looking at her as he spoke. "It's been far too long, C.C. We could have worked out your misstep sooner if you had come earlier."

"It's not about that." To her annoyance, Kirihara didn't look up from his papers.

"I guessed as much." C.C. leaned forward as Kirihara drew a folder out from one of the drawers, dropping it onto the table. She took a step forward, tipping her head to the side to read the name there and then freezing. "Did you really think that we wouldn't know where he was or that you could hide him? He's the only Britannian royal that's still within our grasp, the bait in the trap, we wouldn't lose track of him so easily."

Kirihara pulled out a picture, turning it around so C.C. could see it. "And it was easy enough to guess that you would come down here soon enough. You're just doing this to get Marianne's attention again. Once she has both of her children back, she can safely forget about them again and you two could go back to being friends as you were before."

He had come close to her initial reason for promising Marianne this. With Charles gone, there was a chance that she and Marianne could go back to the way they were before Marianne had decided to let other people into her life. It was a completely selfish reason, but C.C. had long since stopped scolding herself for those. Now, it was more for the fun of it, or the idea that she had been able to keep out of the Geass Order's hands. In reality, it looked like they had just let her go. But she had a plan for that too.

C.C. smiled and walked over to lean on the desk, pulling the picture close to her. "Yes. I suppose that would work. But I think that you would rather kill Marianne and her children, which doesn't work for me."

"I never said we would be working with you."

"And I never thought you would. I'm just saying that there's a problem with your plan, because it messes up my own."

"You are no obstacle."

"Really? And where is Suzaku?" She couldn't help teasing him with that, the knowledge that one of his plans had failed utterly. Without Suzaku's presence and support, he couldn't say that he was bringing back the old government. And Suzaku was anything but supportive of what the group was doing.

"You insolent woman." C.C. straightened up, about to deliver a retort when she saw the gun in Kirihara's hands. She frowned, realizing that she had miscalculated and pushed too far on the wrong day. She had lost him his last pawn, and she was the only thing standing in the way of this other one. Kirihara couldn't know about the secrets that she had planted to leak out over the past year. The police would start getting reports of the Geass Order, documents that even they wouldn't be able to doubt the authenticity of. C.C. had hoped to have had the police already searching for the Geass Order by the time Lelouch had aged out.

She smiled, shaking her head. It appeared as if she had managed to grow a conscious, hating the thoughts that spun around in her head. Kirihara couldn't get Suzaku or Lelouch, nor would she let him get Marianne or Nunnally. C.C. had been hoping to wipe the Geass Order out for a while, and she had the best chance right now.

With a sad smile, she turned towards the door, mentally cursing Marianne. If it hadn't been for her, C.C. would have been able to just walk away from this without a care in the world, but Marianne had to have grown fond of her children and, in trying to protect them, C.C. had to have grown a conscious. The whole business was quite annoying. "Mao…"

Kirihara was a bigger idiot than she thought, or too mad to think straight. He fired the gun just as Mao was entering the room, giving the man enough time to see her shot. C.C. only had the time to smirk at Kirihara and to watch his face as he realized what he had just done.

* * *

><p>Gino walked back over to where Suzaku and Kallen were standing, hating the way that Suzaku looked up eagerly. He didn't want to do this again, to watch Suzaku break apart before shutting down. Gino looked away for a moment, hoping that Kallen would get the hint and insist that they keep moving before Gino had to actually say the words.<p>

He hadn't found Lelouch. He didn't think Lelouch was anywhere in this city at all. In all honesty, he believed Lelouch was dead.

It wasn't his place to disobey an order from Lady Marianne, nor did he have he heart to. Marianne had taken him in after he had run from his parents in a fit of childish temper. She had treated him fairly, just like any of her other guards instead of a noble's son, and Gino had enjoyed just being one of the boys. Just last year, he had been elevated into the position of knight and assigned to Lady Marianne's escort, a position of honor since Jeremiah Gottwald screened all of the incoming knights. Lady Marianne herself had entrusted him with this mission, so it wasn't his job to say whether or not he believed that Lelouch was still alive, it was just his job to do his best to find the missing prince.

But it wasn't fair to bring Suzaku along.

He was fine with Kallen; the red head was a source of endless fun, whether it be from her eagerness to fight him or to tease right back. And he would have been fine with Suzaku as well, just on any mission but this. Everyone at the castle knew that.

He rubbed a hand over his face and shrugged, slightly annoyed that Kallen was still standing there. He walked up to the two of them and flopped down beside Suzaku, carefully not meeting the guard's gaze. "Nothing on my end. And, with that, we're out of leads."

Kallen scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "We didn't have much of one to start with."

Gino nodded, glancing over at Suzaku just in time to watch the guard curl in on himself, his hands closing around something. Gino got a glimpse of blue before looking away, letting Suzaku have his moment. They would move on when Suzaku was ready, although to where Gino didn't know. They had been looking for Lelouch for a week now, but had found nothing.

He sighed and got up, smiling at the two of them. Kallen would be in a worse mood as the failures continued and Suzaku would just shut down completely. It was up to him to keep the morale up. "I think we should make a round of the orphanages before calling it a day."

"He would be eighteen now." Gino started at the sound of Suzaku's voice, hating the completely level tone. "He wouldn't be in an orphanage anymore."

"Well, that's where we start. We can get information from them." He slung an arm over Suzaku's shoulders, trying to get a reaction from the guard. "But first, lunch."

"Pass." Suzaku slipped out from under Gino's arm, one hand disappearing into his pocket as he walked away.

Gino shook his head, bounding over to Kallen to wrap her into a hug when she tried to follow.

"Gino…what are you-"

"Let him go, Kallen."

"We can't just let him wander off!"

"We will." He let go, gently tugging on her arm to get her to follow him. "Let's walk and talk, alright? I think we can do that." Gino looked around for something to distract their attention, quickly spotting a hot dog stand. "How about hot dogs? It's been a while since I've had one. English food is great, but nothing can beat a good hot dog."

Kallen glared at him, probably already seeing through his attempt to distract her. He had been doing this the entire trip, every time it got too much for Suzaku. Gino didn't approve of Suzaku's presence, but he had to admire the guard's bravery. He was risking so much just to find this one prince.

Kallen remained silent as they stood in line for their food and after, when they wandered looking for a place to sit. She even allowed him to take one bite, Gino savoring the hot dog for as long as he could before looking at her. Kallen raised her eyebrow, her own hot dog sitting uneaten in her hand. "You said talk, so talk. It's what you're good at."

"So you've noticed?" Gino smiled, sitting back on the bench and shaking his head. "I never thought you would. I thought that I would be forever pining for your attention."

"Shut up, Gino." She was blushing, refusing to look at him now. "And I don't think you're actually pining."

Gino grinned at the memory of the night before, the things the two of them had gotten up to before Suzaku had come in from his late night wandering. Gino sobered a minute later, remembering having to slip into Suzaku's bed to hold the guard to keep Suzaku from hurting himself as he dreamed.

He shook his head, letting out a long sigh. A glance at Kallen showed him that her patience was running out, and he was risking losing his hot dog over his delay. Gino grinned at her, resettling himself with an arm flung over her shoulders. "I just think Suzaku needs time alone. With us, he's like a third wheel."

Kallen pushed his arm off of her shoulders. "One, there is no us. You're going to have to work harder for that one, Gino." He pretended to pout as Kallen scooted slightly further down the bench. "Two, he spends too much time alone. When he's not searching for Lelouch, he's wandering off."

"He'll be fine, Kallen. He's just tired of failure like the rest of us."

"You don't get it!" She glared at him. "You always do this Gino, you just assume you know someone."

"I think I know Suzaku."

"You _think_ you know." Kallen crossed her arms, Gino leaning back slightly. He had made her mad now, he could tell by the way she held herself stiff and narrowed her eyes. "You think you know a lot of things, but you don't."

"I'm his best friend, Kallen."

She rolled her eyes. "You're missing the obvious. You've only known him for a couple of years; you've only seen what he's like in the presence of other people. You've never seen him when he's alone."

"Of course I haven't. He wouldn't be alone if that was the case." Kallen smacked him on the back of the head, Gino wincing and leaning forward. He carefully peeked back up at her, surprised to see how angry she was.

"You _idiot_! Until you started hanging out with us, you never came down to the guard's barracks; you were content to just live your life in comfort. And don't start about you being in exile because, believe me, you weren't. You just saw what Suzaku was like around the nobles, where he was supposed to look happy and pretend that everything was alright. What else could he do? Did you ever stop to consider that?"

Gino shifted in his seat, surprised and a bit uncomfortable by Kallen's sudden anger. He had heard so much about how she had despised Suzaku for his attitude by being almost too willing at times, too accepting of the abuse that the other nobility heaped on him when he was on duty. He almost had her rant memorized about how they should be treated as people since Japan was free again, but he had never heard her talk about Suzaku like this. It almost sounded like she was defending him, which made him jealous and even more uncomfortable. What right did he have to be jealous when what they had between them was a casual thing?

He looked up as Kallen sat back with a huff, surprised to see her wiping tears off of her cheeks. He swallowed and reached out to touch her hand with his freed hand, gently running his fingers across the back of her hand. When he looked up again, Kallen was staring down at her lap, hiding her face behind her bangs.

"Stop pitying me."

"I'm not. I swear, I'm not. I'm just worried." Gino felt her tense up. He shook his head and turned to face her, scooting closer. "Explain this to me, because I thought you hated him."

"I don't hate him. I hate the way he acts, there's a difference." She pushed her hair out of her eyes with a sigh. "I hate how he's so willing to just accept what everyone has to say about him without a fight, just to prove that he's trustworthy. And I hate the fact that he works so hard, even when he knows he's never going to rise from where he is now. He knows that, I've talked to him about it, but he doesn't seem to care." Kallen paused, staring at the hot dog in her hands. "He puts so much effort into everything he does and he's not even going to get recognized for it, and I hate him for being alright with that."

Gino stared at her for a while before carefully slipping an arm over her shoulders. To his relief, she didn't shrug him off. Gino scooted closer, getting comfortable before staring out into the park.

What Kallen had just said had presented him with a new picture of Suzaku. He had always known Suzaku as the reliable guard who was always smiling, always on time. Suzaku had been the only one who didn't seem to resent that he was a noble, even if the resentment from other people was just based on the fact that his parents had the money to give him whatever he wanted. Until now, Gino had just thought that Suzaku was generally just a happy person and that repeated failures were just wearing on him.

He sighed, giving Kallen a gently one-armed hug before broaching the subject that confused him the most. "Why does he have to earn their trust?"

Kallen gave him an exasperated look before focusing on her hot dog. Gino pouted and pulled back, letting her eat. He supposed that it was only fair that he wait for Kallen to talk, especially since she didn't like to talk about these things. She would rather focus on finding Lelouch and getting back to Marianne, with or without the lost prince.

By the time Kallen had finished and thrown the wrapper in the trashcan, Gino was nearly bouncing in his seat, nervously tossing the balled up foil from one hand to the other. He was treated to a glare before the ball of foil was taken away from him. Kallen didn't move to throw it away, instead letting it roll from one palm to the other as she spoke. "You remember what happened on the night that Emperor Charles died?"

Gino nodded; there was no way that he could forget that night. There had been panic in Pendragon until Schneizel had been crowned, and even then riots had popped up briefly. The rest of the royal family wouldn't come out of the imperial palace and there had been rumors that they were dead. Gino's family had gone to their summer house in California to avoid the riots, but his mother hadn't let him outside without at least two guards, in the fear that the heir of the Weinberg house would be killed. Of course now he was sure that she wouldn't care at all.

Kallen stared at him for a moment before nodding herself. "There was a group behind it, led by Prince Vincent, but mostly filled with dissenters from the Japanese government."

"The ones from Genbu Kururugi's cabinet?"

She nodded. "They wanted revenge for what had happened when Charles' father, Emperor James, had taken over Japan, so they took it out on his son. Even when they were working for peace, they wanted revenge above that. It ruined everyone then, my brother still has problems finding a job under a Britannian employer, just because they're afraid. And that's why Suzaku can't rise up in the ranks, because they're afraid of him most of all. They don't know if he's just acting and is waiting to strike against them or he really doesn't believe in what his father did." Kallen raised her hand to her throat. "The tattoo doesn't help."

Gino watched as Kallen traced the bird-like symbol that every Britannian feared before clenching her hand into a fist. He had never seen the tattoo himself, but Suzaku wore enough high collared shirts to make it obvious that he was hiding something.

The tin foil ball rolled to a stop, Kallen staring at it as she cradled it in her palms. "Now you know why I don't think we should let him wander off. He lives for this Gino. I think he'd kill himself if he ever found out that Lelouch is dead."

"I don't think he would go that far."

"You've seen him." Kallen looked up. "He always volunteers himself on these searches and they keep letting him go. Every failure is killing him."

Gino didn't respond, he didn't need to. He saw that it was true every day that they didn't return with Lelouch in tow.

He stood up and offered Kallen a hand. "Let's go. We can get a list of the orphanages before looking for Suzaku."

Kallen stared at his hand, sighing before standing up on her own. "We'll find him easily enough."

Gino watched as she tossed the tin foil ball into the nearest trashcan, fighting to keep his trademark smile in place. "Aries Villa?"

Kallen nodded, shrugging and beginning to walk away. "Where else would he go?"

* * *

><p>Officially, the Aries Villa was closed. Emperor Schneizel had offered it to the Japanese government to do what they wished to it, to establish their government there or use it as an embassy. Instead, it had been boarded up and left to rot and be raided by people looking for an easy way to make money. Trespassing was forbidden by law, although it was never enforced, just because no one knew what to do with the site where the Britannian royal family had almost been slaughtered.<p>

As it was now, hardly anyone went in anymore. Everything that was easy to carry through the small opening that could be made in the boards was gone, leaving the huge portraits of the family and heavy decorations behind. It was just a skeleton of what it once had been, completely devoid of human life and completely silent.

That was the reason that Suzaku went there when the burden of his failure became too much. He didn't want to distress Kallen and Gino, they were already working so hard to find Lelouch, nor did he want them to worry about him. He was fine; he was just tired of failure.

Suzaku made his way along one of the sides of the villa, one hand on the wall to guide him as he stared down at the pin in his other hand. He had been so sure when they had come to Japan. Lelouch had been lost here, so it would make sense that he would be here. There were chances that Lelouch had managed to make it somewhere else, which was why he had gone on all the other searches, but none had ever felt as close as the one he was on now. But that still meant that he had to deal with seven days of repeated failure.

He stopped, turning his back to lean against the house. He reached up to pull the collar of his shirt down, exposing his neck for a moment. Suzaku would only do this when he was sure that no one was around, so no one would know what had been done to him and make the wrong assumption. Not that he blamed them for it, how else were they supposed to react when they saw the bird-like symbol tattooed onto the neck of former viceroy Genbu Kururugi's son. After all, he had only been ten when his father had tried to take Japan from Britannia by force, it would be easy enough to assume that he had been made to believe the same ideology when he had been captured.

But he didn't.

Suzaku lifted the collar back into place, hiding the tattoo again. He hadn't been raised to be like his father, he had just been used to gain the trust of the Britannians, a tool just like any of the sons and daughters of Charles zi Britannia. But he was going to be better than his father, he was going to keep his promises and do his best to protect people instead of killing them. And he would start by returning the pin to Lelouch.

He pushed away from the side of the villa, walking around the side until he reached the door that led into the kitchens. Here the boards were easy to wiggle until they made a hole big enough for him to clamber through.

Suzaku left footprints in the dust as he made his way through the kitchens and out into the hall. He turned left, climbing up the staircase that would lead out into the main hall. The tapestry that had hidden the door was long gone, but Suzaku could remember it, an old ugly thing that depicted a unicorn being hunted down. He remembered that it had made Nunnally cry once, so he and Lelouch had never played down by the kitchens again.

He stumbled on the last step, quickly regaining his balance. Suzaku glanced down the hallway once before heading for the second level. He would do what he always did when he came here; check the bedrooms for any sign of habitation before searching through the rest of the villa. There was a chance that Lelouch could have come back here in the time between his visits.

Suzaku laughed at the direction of his thoughts, resisting the urge to shake his head. He knew he was obsessed, but it was for a good reason. He had been Lelouch's friend; he had an obligation to find him. And, maybe, if he found Lelouch he could get rid of the obsession.

It had been ten years since Lelouch had disappeared. One of those years, Suzaku had spent imprisoned with the former members of the Japanese government as they tried to decide what to do with him. The other nine he had spent preparing for this.

He had joined the guards at the age of fourteen and had been quickly assigned to guard Milly Ashford, a young girl who was staying with Marianne. It had been an easy enough job, just to keep up with Milly as the girl went through her wild years in high school before settling down and focusing on what her parents wanted her to do, find a good match for herself. Of course, she was proceeding as slowly as possible, which seemed to suit her just fine.

When the head of the Ashford family, Ruben Ashford, had stepped down and moved to England he had reverted back to being one of Marianne's guards. With Milly safe on the Ashford Estate with her grandfather Marianne had used him as a guard for Nunnally, at least until she had found a permanent guard for her daughter. She trusted him that much at least. Even with the tattoo on his neck, Marianne trusted him with the safety of her only remaining child. That didn't mean that she didn't watch him carefully at all other times, but Suzaku just accepted it as the price he had to pay. His father had plotted against the Britannian Empire, and he had never thought to report it.

And that was his career in a nutshell, the favorite, although least trusted, guard at the villa; which suited him just fine. Marianne liked him because she remembered what he had been like before that attack on royal family, which meant that he could spend time with her and Nunnally, albeit with several other guards in attendance. Suzaku didn't complain, because every time they met was another chance to gain Marianne's trust. Then, when he did find Lelouch again, he would have a better chance at getting the reward he desired.

Suzaku paused in the hallway, staring at the pin that still was in his palm before closing his fingers over it again. He didn't care about the reward money offered, not like the other people who dragged in their candidate in front of Marianne and tried to pass it off as Lelouch. He just wanted the chance to make up for his failure. He just wanted to be Lelouch's knight to prevent this from happening again. And, after everything he had done for Marianne, he was confident that he would be allowed that much.

He stepped out into the middle of the hallway, looking around before beginning to swing the doors open. Each one revealed an empty room, some of the finery missing and fabric hanging off of the beds. A few of them still had bloodstains, from where a Britannian prince or princess had met her end, or one of the attackers had confronted a guard.

Suzaku swallowed and move faster down the hall, now just checking for signs of habitation instead of letting himself linger. He clutched the pin tightly, feeling the edges digging into his palm. He was getting closer to Nunnally's room, the one that he didn't want to search at all. The rooms on the other side had been safe enough; he hadn't visited them enough in his childhood to form any attachment to them. Lelouch's room was bare now too, completely looted for things that could be sold because they had once been owned by the missing prince, so that was safe.

Nunnally's room still had the bloodstain on the floor, his father's blood soaked into the carpet as a reminder of what he had done.

Suzaku shivered, his hand resting on the doorknob to Nunnally's room. It was the last one that he had to check before going through the other floors on this wing. He wouldn't get to the other wing today, which was somewhat of a relief. He could hide in the villa, but not for too long. Then he would start to remember things, and it would _hurt_.

He sighed, letting his hand dropping away from the doorknob as he turned away. Since he had come to Japan, he hadn't been able to open that door. He had once stood there until Kallen and Gino had come to get him, trying to work up the courage to just open the door and face the fact that he had killed his father for a good reason. He had been protecting Lelouch and Nunnally, but he wasn't quite able to accept that excuse. It would be easy enough after making one excuse to come up with others that would allow him to kill people.

Suzaku stuffed his hands into his pockets, walking down the hallway. There were two more levels below this one to go through, and then he would leave. He would be sufficiently calm and distracted by then, able to move on past their most recent failure.

He swallowed, tucking his hand back into his pocket to hold onto his pin. He was reaching for the pin more often as the trip wore on and the failures built up. It was the one thing keeping him sane and focused when all he wanted to do was shut down and not move for a while. It was part of the reason he was glad that both Gino and Kallen were with him, one could get him moving if he decided to just give up.

The phone in his other pocket vibrated, like just thinking of Gino and Kallen had called the text message to him. Suzaku pulled out his phone, staring at it for a moment before slipping it back into his pocket. They knew he was here, or Kallen did. She would either come here looking for him or they would head back to the hotel without him. Personally, Suzaku hoped for the latter. He didn't want to feel obligated to go back to the hotel before he was absolutely exhausted. The stress was bringing his nightmares back.

Suzaku hissed and rubbed his neck, pressing his palm against where the tattoo was. He knew he was worrying his two friends, but there was nothing he could do about the nightmares, he had always had them. He had to learn to deal with them for when he went back. Kallen had been knighted the month before, so she would be living in the quarters next to the barracks specifically for knights while he remained in the guard barracks. While the guards there didn't treat him badly, he wasn't particularly close to any of them. He would be on his own again.

He let his hand drop down to his side, Suzaku forcing himself to let go of his pin. He would finish his search of this wing before heading back to the hotel. Hopefully whatever Gino and Kallen got up to would be finished before he got back.

The next floor was easier, just a few rooms, most of them for storage or parlors. Most of the doors were locked and had been since the day that the villa had been attacked. Suzaku coughed into his sleeve, his throat irritated by the dust, as he walked down to the last floor. Here he would only find open sitting rooms, the library and the ballroom that stretched across the middle of the villa.

Suzaku dragged his feet, hoping to spend another hour here. Now he could almost forget that he was seventeen, he could just imagine that he was seven. Any minute now Lelouch would come racing around a corner, chasing after Nunnally or trying to avoid one of Euphemia's attempts to make him dress up as a princess with her and Nunnally so Suzaku could rescue them from some evil creature. Lelouch would smile when he saw Suzaku and then drag him out into the gardens, probably with the excuse that they were going to do boy things and that the girls couldn't come along. Nunnally would be the only exception to the rule, because Lelouch couldn't deny his little sister anything.

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before opening them again. There was no one there, just the double doors that would lead to the ballroom in front of him and the soft carpet of the hall beneath his feet. Suzaku ducked his head, listening to the creak of the villa, clenching his hands into fists. There would never be anyone there if he didn't keep moving, but he was so tired of all the failures and disappointments.

Suzaku slumped against the nearest wall, pressing his forehead against the peeling wallpaper as he tried to calm himself down. He wasn't really angry or frustrated; emotions took an effort that he just couldn't seem to make anymore.

He took a few more calming breaths, intending to push away from the wall and continue his search, when he heard something coming from the ballroom. Suzaku tensed, turning his head so he could stare at the doors, only now noticing that they were slightly ajar.

These were the only two doors that led to the ground floor of the ballroom, from there the stairs would lead down to the actually floor. This side was where the guests had made their entrances, and where the emperor and his favorite wife had stood when the ball was in full swing. The only other door on the inside was on the second floor on the other wing, and that led to the balconies. The doors that opened out into the yard and long since been boarded shut.

Suzaku pushed away from the wall, padding over to the door and carefully pulling it open wider. He expected the door to creak, pleasantly surprised when it didn't. He slipped through, crouching down so he would be concealed partially by the banister. In any case, if someone was in here, their first instinct wouldn't be to look up. He edged close to the rail, resting a hand on one of the carved columns before daring to peer over the edge.

At first, he didn't see anyone. He relaxed a fraction, straightening up a little bit more. The door could have been left open from the last time he was in here or by someone looking for anything to take out and sell. Either way, it looked like he had snuck in here for nothing. Suzaku flattened his hand on the railing, staring out into the ballroom one last time before turning around.

He froze at the sound of footsteps, leaning forward over the railing to see someone walking out into the middle of the ballroom. Suzaku frowned, surprised that the person didn't notice him, but the person was too focused on something that Suzaku couldn't quite see.

Suzaku narrowed his eyes, leaning out a bit further as he tried to identify the person. The intruder didn't look like the run of the mill thief, with clothes that were worn but not thread bare. By their movement, it didn't seem like they were looking for anything either, just walking across the ballroom like he had done so many times before.

He leaned on the railing, completely forgetting about remaining hidden as he watched the intruder. If they weren't doing any harm, then he wouldn't chase them out. Besides, there was something in the way that they held themselves and the way they walked that caught his attention; it reminded Suzaku of the nobles and royals. Perhaps this was someone related to one of the victims of that night, just coming to visit the last place their relative had died. Or maybe it was some noble interested in the history of the Britannian royal family. This was the place that two sons of Emperor James had died, after all.

The intruder turned around, Suzaku tensing as they stared right at him. To his surprise, the intruder raised a hand, Suzaku shaking his head slowly. Normally people would run when they were caught, but this person seemed to be distracted by something. Still, it granted him a chance to see what the intruder looked like.

From here, Suzaku could tell it was a man, a skinny man who looked to be about his age. He had black hair and… Suzaku leaned over the railing, his heart beating faster. He _needed_ to know the color of the man's eyes. Everything else was so close to what he remembered, what he imagined.

"Hey!" Suzaku jerked at the familiar voice shouting, watching as the man on floor jerked, like he had been woken out of something.

Suzaku turned around, watching as Kallen ran past him and down the stairs, already intent on getting the man who had snuck into the villa. He hesitated before charging after Kallen. At the moment, he didn't have a plan other than getting a look at the man. One look and then he could go away satisfied.

* * *

><p>Mao stared at the picture of the young man, ignoring the bloody fingerprints that dotted the background. The man's face was still clear, and he would keep it that way, he needed to know what his prey looked like. Mao narrowed his eyes, letting Kirihara's lifeless body slip out of his grasp, barely hearing the thud as the man hit the floor. He was grateful for the information that the man had given him, but he had paid the price for killing his beloved C.C.<p>

He swallowed, looking over the desk to where C.C. was sprawled out on the floor, a pool of blood spreading out from her head. He ignored the other bodies behind her, the men who had rushed into the room at the sound of the gunfire and Mao's enraged screams. He frowned and turned his gaze back to the file, flipping it open and looking through the information.

While he could not fathom the schemes that these men put together, he did know that they weren't happy about C.C. leaving and taking that boy with them. When C.C. had first brought him to the Geass Order, before she had been kicked out, he had been jealous of that boy, at least until he had heard that C.C. had just dropped him off somewhere. Apparently he shouldn't have worried about that boy at all; it was this man who he should have worried about.

Well, the second thing he would have to worry about. The first was making sure that all of the people who had wanted C.C. dead were punished. He just knew that they had all come up with this scheme to keep her away from him. Everyone was always trying to keep C.C. away from him, but they just didn't understand that she was _his_.

Mao dropped the photo onto the desk, walking around to the two other bodies. He carefully checked who they were, elated to find that he had killed one of the other leaders, which just left three more. That was easy enough for him to do and then leave. The other three probably hadn't heard about what had happened. The sooner he could leave the better, because that man was probably still waiting for C.C, and it was up to Mao to set him straight.

Mao choked on a sob, quickly turning it into a laugh a moment later. He would make sure the man knew that he had committed the ultimate sin, that his very existence was the reason why C.C. was dead. It was the perfect revenge. Mao chuckled, kicking the corpse to one side before kneeling next to C.C, carefully lifting her up. His revenge would have to wait until he had taken care of C.C. She had to be made to look beautiful before he was ready to let her go.

He carefully closed her eyes and brushed her hair back into place. Like this, she looked like she was sleeping.

Mao's grin wavered. "I'll avenge you, C.C. You didn't deserve any of this and I'll make them all pay, like you would have wanted. First with the ones who chased you out of the Geass Order and then this _boy_. Because he has to know, C.C, he has to know that you're mine."


	3. Chapter 2: Far Away, Long Ago

**Chapter Two: Far Away, Long Ago**

Lelouch adjusted the backpack on his shoulder, glancing around the park before settling on a nearby bench. He sighed and tipped his head back, staring up at the sky.

He had been promised that someone would meet him here, someone who would either take him home or take him to a place where he could work. Lelouch's hands clenched on the straps of his backpack at the thought. Wasn't it enough that he had lived in an orphanage for his entire life? Why did he have to be shuffled off into the world without a second thought?

He sat up to stare out into the park, fiddling with one of the straps of the backpack to keep his hands busy. While his memory wasn't the most reliable, he did know that he had spent at least ten years at an orphanage, a run down place where he was shuffled forward every weekend in the dim hope that he would be adopted. Lelouch had known he was doomed when he had turned ten and no one had showed up. It was the weekend after his tenth birthday that the woman in charge had started reminding him that he would either be adopted, or she would find someone who would put him to work.

Lelouch could list off all of his faults and failures now because of that speech. He was too quiet, too morose and, when he did speak, too arrogant. People didn't like a child that corrected them. He was too skinny, not remotely healthy enough. What parent would want to adopt a child who looked like they would fall apart when the wind blew too hard? What place would hire him? He was too picky. The list went on and on.

He rolled his eyes, reaching for the locket that hung around his neck. As always, he had done nothing to change any of that. To be honest, he was afraid to change anything about himself. He couldn't remember anything from before he came to the orphanage and that had been when he was eight. Eight years of his life were missing and the only thing he had to remember it by was the locket.

Lelouch cradled the little heart shaped locket in his hands. It was white, with gold outlining the shape of the heart on both sides. In the center were four hearts arranged in a four leaf clover pattern, also on both sides. The locket was strung around his neck on a golden chain. It was completely unsuitable for a boy, but it was the only thing that was actually his. The backpack had been given to him, along with the change of clothes and other necessities in the hopes that he wouldn't come back to the orphanage.

Lelouch scoffed, gently turning the locket over. Like he would ever want to go back there. The other children had been nice, he had liked them. The problem was that they had all gone away while he had stayed behind, watching as others had been brought in to begin the cycle over. The people who had run the orphanage, however, were a bit too sharp with him for his own tastes. Their most common complaint had been accusing him of acting like a prince. He hadn't done that because he was named after one, it was just what felt _right_.

He rubbed his forehead, carefully opening the locket. He felt himself relax as he listened to the music; the song had always calmed him before. It was just what he needed at the moment, something to calm him down. If he was calm, then he could think about what he had to do next.

First of all, he had to meet up with the person that the orphanage said had expressed an interest in hiring him, which was why he was in the park in the first place. Apparently, the meeting had been arranged here, and his prospective employer already knew what he looked like. It annoyed him that the orphanage had just done this without his permission, but they were having enough trouble as it was with their sudden influx of children.

Lelouch blamed that on the Britannian nobles that were returning to Japan. Now that they felt safe enough, they were bringing their families, which often included their older children. Loosing Britannian nobles into a population considered new and exotic led to affairs, which led to unwanted children who ended up in the orphanages; most of whom got named after one of the dead members of the royal family. Lelouch had known three kids named Clovis and five named Charles growing up. When he had left, there had been three arrivals with his name, but all young enough to have their name changed without a problem.

He sighed and shook his head, leaning backward and staring up at the sky. If he failed to impress his future employer or just failed at the job that he was supposed to do then he would have to resort to the list of contacts that the orphanage had given to him. All of them were people who were always looking for workers and would help him settle into life outside of the orphanage.

After that he would be on his own, something that Lelouch was looking forward to. He appreciated all of the help that the people in the orphanage had given to him, but he wanted nothing more than to be in charge of his own life. With eight years of his life missing, he valued control, being able to control what he did and remembered.

He looked down at the locket before snapping it shut and tucking it back under his shirt. A glance at his watch showed that the person he was supposed to be meeting was late, which meant that he was in his rights to leave. But there was no where that he could go. Lelouch slumped on the bench, clutching at the backpack. He was just out on his own in Tokyo, waiting in a park for some strange person who only called themselves C.C.

Lelouch waited five minutes more before pushing himself off of the bench and slinging the backpack over his back. He couldn't force himself to sit there any longer; he didn't want to get stuck in a job that would have him going nowhere. And, since he was in Tokyo, this could be his one afternoon to actually see some of the city before he allowed himself to fall back into the drudgery of everyday life.

He smirked to himself as he strolled out of the park, in no hurry to go anywhere. There wasn't any particular place that he wanted to go, so he just walked, letting his feet take him somewhere. Usually he wouldn't do this, usually he was cautious, but it was his last day of freedom.

Lelouch stepped to the side to allow a large group to go past, surprised when someone grabbed his shoulder. He gritted his teeth and twisted out of the grip, stumbling away from the person who had grabbed him. He got a glimpse of an old man before he stumbled to a stop, unable to move back any further. Instead, he was jostled along with the rest of the crowd, Lelouch flinching when he was pushed up beside the old man again.

The man didn't attempt to grab him again, but he kept looking over in Lelouch's direction. Lelouch shivered and gripped the straps of his backpack tighter, looking for a place to get out of the rush of people and hide for a bit.

He found it quickly, a side path that everyone seemed to ignore. Lelouch looked at the overgrown weed and trees, making a face before deciding to take it, anything to get away from that man. He ducked onto the path, walking quickly until he was sure that he wasn't being followed. He didn't know why that man had grabbed him, but he didn't want to stay to find out. Lelouch shuddered and glanced up the path, vaguely curious as to what was up there.

He got a glimpse of a building through the trees, Lelouch tilting his head to the side before he edged forward. He would just see what it was, just to satisfy his need to know and categorize it. If it wasn't anything interesting, he would leave and settle down to actually find a place where he could stay. If it was something interesting, a few moments of exploration wouldn't hurt. It would at least keep him away from that man who had been shooting him strange looks.

Lelouch began to edge down the path, having to pick his way over the uneven pavement and push through the tall grass, quickly becoming annoyed with how hard it was to move. If there was a building back here, and it was as big as he guessed it was, why would anyone just leave a path like this to get overgrown? It was completely illogical. He growled as he pushed he was through one particularly tricky patch, stumbling when he finally got free.

He brushed off his pants, adjusting his backpack before looking up at the building. His mouth dropped open, Lelouch quickly snapping it shut. There was no real reason to be in awe, it was just an old building, Britannian in origin from the look of the architecture. But it was strange that this building would just be boarded up and left to fall apart when it could be used as a museum or a tourist attraction. Britannia would have offered the building to the Japanese government for one of those things, he knew that much. Britannia had been trying to get rid of anything that would remind the countries that they had once ruled that they had been there, probably because the royal family didn't want to be attacked again.

Unless this was the famed Aries Villa, then Japan wouldn't want to touch the place.

Lelouch was sure that was the explanation. Japan was embarrassed at its violent seizure of self governance from the Britannian Empire, since they had been working on a peaceful transfer. The Japanese government wanted to erase their former officials that had shamed them by attacking the Britannian royal family and wanted to hide the place where it had happened. It would explain the overgrown trail and the boarded up windows well enough.

He edged forward a few steps more. His curiosity was sated for the time being, so he could return to searching out those people. Then again, he could always use an hour of his time to explore the villa.

Lelouch shook his head. The impulse to explore didn't make any sense. The sun would be setting in a few hours and he needed to have gotten himself settled by then. Instead he was considering walking into an old building that could be nothing more than a death trap. Then again, he had never felt so comfortable with any building before. He reached up to clutch at the locket under his shirt for a moment before coming to a decision. If there was anything that could trigger a memory, even a fragment of one, then he would risk it. He had spent too much time trying to trigger his memories to pass this chance up.

He adjusted his backpack and walked towards the front of the villa, having to pick his way carefully to the front. Lelouch climbed the stairs to the entry way, glad that it was stone. He didn't have to worry about testing the boards to see if they had rotted. Lelouch swallowed and stared at the boarded up door, noticing that it didn't quite hang right on its hinges. At least he would have a way in if he could get past the boards.

Lelouch reached up, systematically nudging the planks to see if they would give, surprised when more than half of them moved easily at his touch. He looked over his shoulder before pulling two boards out, moving a few of the others away so he could slip through the hole he had made and press his shoulder against the door.

It took a moment of pushing before the door opened inward, Lelouch wincing at the groan that it gave. He threw a quick look over his shoulder, checking for anyone even though he knew no one had followed him there. Most of his view was blocked by the trees. Lelouch frowned before throwing all of his weight against the door. It finally gave, opening just wide enough for Lelouch to slip through.

He stumbled out into the entrance hall, Lelouch turning in a slow circle as the stared. The place was wrecked; fabrics trailing down the hall and broken pieces of junk littering the sides of the hall. Lelouch assumed that it had come from the panic of that night, the Britannians wanting to carry something away of value only to have to drop it. He shook his head and began to walk up the hall, fighting against the ridiculous urge to carefully inch his way along. There was no one here; no one had been here for ten years.

Lelouch straightened his shoulders and strode down the hall, forcing himself to ignore the paintings that all hung precariously on the walls. He wanted to ignore feeling that people were staring at him, especially when half of the people depicted were dead. But even ignoring that the villa was creepy. It was completely silent, a foreign notion to him since he had been raised in a noisy orphanage.

The hallway led straight to an intersection, Lelouch pausing in the middle and looking down the hall on either side. The one to his left took a turn that took it out of his line of sight, Lelouch having to lean back just to see a few inches around the corner. To his right, the hallway continued in a straight line before branching off again, intersecting with another hallway in front of two ornate doors.

He stared at the doors for a moment before taking a cautious step forward. Lelouch wasn't really looking forward to getting himself lost in the villa, not when anyone could come in and sneak up on him. He wasn't stupid enough to think that this place was just left alone, there had to be a few people desperate enough to search for something to take back as a trinket or to sell. He didn't want to be seen as a rival to them.

Lelouch glanced around one last time before walking over to the doors. He pushed one open, stepping out onto a staircase that led down to an enormous ballroom. Lelouch swallowed, letting his hand slide from the door as he slowly made his way down the staircase, staring at the dust covered floor.

He paused on the large landing, staring at the faded red carpet for a moment before walking forward again, stepping around a certain spot on the carpet that had managed to hold its original color.

_A gunshot and a man falling forward, sprawling over the stairs and bleeding on the carpet. And then screams, lots of screaming and someone grabbing onto him and pulling him away._

Lelouch leaned on the railing and shook his head. It was a snatch of memory and even then it was nothing that he could actively qualify as his own. He could have just gotten that from a television broadcast, or his parents could have been murdered. It could have been anything, which was why those little snatches were the most annoying.

He clutched at his locket as he made his way down the stairs, staring at the ballroom. There was nothing here that interested him; he didn't even know why he had come here instead of checking out another section of the house. It was just a big empty room.

He stepped down from the last step onto the floor itself, sticking one hand in his pocket as he looked around. There weren't any doors on this level, and all the windows were sealed. Lelouch shook his head and turned back around, intending to go back up and look through the rest of this floor when something caught his eye.

Towards the back of the ballroom, under the overhang that the landing made was a collection of chairs. Only a few of them were still completely intact, the rest were strewn around the corner, lying in pieces in small piles. But, without the chairs out of the way, it was easy to see the carving in the wood of the wall.

Lelouch slipped under the overhang, staring at the carving in the wall. He reached out to run his fingers over the design, picking out the animals that made it up; a dog, a horse, a deer, a few birds. Then, further along, an antelope, a dragon, an elephant, a unicorn. He froze with his hand over a strange combination of animals.

"_It's a chimera, it an animal that the Greeks made up. See, its part lion, part snake and part goat."_

"_And what's that?"_

"_A phoenix."_

"_I remember. It's called…"_

Lelouch shook his head, turning around to stare out into the ballroom. He stumbled back into one of the broken chairs at the sound of laughter. He didn't believe in ghosts, it was just a stupid superstition. So this had to be one of the instances his mind played tricks on him. Lelouch gave his head another shake before walking out onto the floor of the ballroom, glancing around as he chased after different sounds.

There was the faint sound of an orchestra playing music. There was the faint shuffle of feet over the floor. There was a clang as a tray was lifted and another put in his place. A swish of skirts, the low rumble of a man's laughter and the high pitched squeals from children.

Lelouch turned, looking up towards where he had come in. Now, lost somewhere in between a world of phantom images and reality, he could almost see how the ballroom had looked; the huge windows letting in showing the night sky and reflecting the light from the chandeliers. People moving in complex patterns over the floor to the beat of the waltz that was being played. The red carpet was back to its original rich color, resting over the wood that made up the rest of the stairs. His gaze skipped over the portrait of the royal family to the landing, a smile crossing his face. There was someone standing there, someone leaning against the railing and…

_He was here. After spending the first part of the evening looking for him, he was here. They would all be so happy and his first dance would be taken, but there would be others and time to talk. But that didn't matter because he was here and it suddenly wasn't so lonely._

Lelouch was debating on waving the person down, it wasn't right just to leave him here waiting. There were ladies that they had to dance with, half forgotten things that they had to talk over and something very, very important that he could no longer remember.

He was about to take a step forward when a shout jolted him back to the present. "Hey!"

Lelouch started backward, blinking rapidly as he waited for the person on the landing to disappear. When he didn't, Lelouch muttered a curse before turning and running. There had to be a way out of here that didn't involve turning back towards the stairs. Maybe if he could tear down some of the boards over the windows, he could escape and make his way back to the front of the villa and away from his place before the person caught up with him.

The sound of footsteps made him turn his head. A red headed woman was chasing him, followed by the man that had stood on the landing, and both of them were gaining. Lelouch swore under his breath and slowed down. He wouldn't have the time to escape, so it would probably be best just to attempt to bluff his way out. Maybe they would understand that he had just gotten lost, that he had been looking for someone, or that he had been dared to come into the villa.

He put on a smile, turning around and raising his hands above his head. "Hey, I can explain."

"Go ahead." The woman stopped in front of him, Lelouch watching her warily. She looked like a soldier, from the way that she held herself to the way that she reached down to her hip, like she was looking for a gun that she didn't have. Lelouch watched as her hand jerked back up before he looked up at her face, watching the woman narrow her eyes. "And you better make this good. This villa is not open to the public."

Lelouch couldn't help the smirk that crossed his face. "Then why are you here?"

The woman gave a choked laugh before reaching inside of her jacket and pulling out a wallet. She opened it, holding it out to Lelouch so he could stare at the identification card tucked inside. "I'm a knight of Lady Marianne. I have every right to be here."

He raised an eyebrow before looking over at the man who had rushed up behind the woman. This one seemed even more dangerous than the woman. At first glance, Lelouch would have thought that he was just an ordinary person, but the second glance showed him the way that the man moved, precisely and collected like no motion was wasted. And there was a difference in the way that he stood, slumped slightly at first, but slowly returning to the proper parade rest. So this one was a soldier too.

Lelouch jerked his head towards the man. "What about him?"

The woman didn't even glance back. "He's here under Lady Marianne's orders as well, which just leaves you. Now, you said you had a good explanation for why you are here and I bet I can figure it out. I bet you have five kids at home and a wife expecting a sixth."

"What?"

"Everyone knows that there's money to be made from the stuff that you can find here. The Britannians are gone, but people haven't forgotten the mystique of the royal family."

"No." Lelouch shook his head, leaning over to choke back a laugh before straightening up again. "I wouldn't try that excuse. I just got lost and found myself here."

The woman stared at him before shaking her head. "You should have stuck to the story I gave you, because I don't believe that one at all."

"Kallen. Kallen, wait." The man grabbed at her arm, Lelouch watching as the man pulled her away. He raised an eyebrow at the look that the man shot at him. "Just wait."

"He's trespassing. I thought you would be more sensitive to this." The woman, Kallen, shook her head. "Especially after everything."

"Just let me look at him, Kallen."

"Why?" The suspicion in Kallen's voice matched Lelouch's own. He didn't remember seeing this man, aside from when he had stupidly walked out of his cover. Lelouch ducked his head, trying to hide his embarrassment. He had _waved_ at the guy without even realizing that he had done it. He could always tell them that he suffered from memory loss, but that had never actually worked for him before, people always assumed that it was an excuse.

The man didn't answer; he just walked over to Lelouch and grabbed his arm. For a moment, Lelouch was tempted to struggle, but he stopped when he was pulled forward. Lelouch tensed as the man stared down at him, forcing himself not to tremble. He did pull a little on the arm that the man held. "Let me go."

The hold on his arm tightened for a moment before the man let go and stormed back across the ballroom. Lelouch glared after him, reaching up to rub his skin. He glanced at Kallen, surprised to see her immediately rush after the man. He expected that she would stay and attempt to drag him out of the villa, especially after all the effort she had given to running after him.

Lelouch let his arm drop to his side, watching the two climb the stairs and stop at the first landing. From his position, he couldn't hear what they were saying, but he could see them gesturing. In any case they were both distracted, which meant that this was a perfect time to escape. Lelouch glanced at the boarded up windows, shaking his head. If he tried to escape, they would hear him and probably drag him away again. His only way out was past them and Lelouch didn't think that he could sneak past a knight and a soldier.

He sighed and walked back towards the stairs. Maybe one of them would wave him on if he just apologized and promised to leave. Lelouch forced back his disgust at the idea of backing down so easily. Even if it wasn't his fault, it was obvious enough that this house was off limits to the public. He shook his head, walking up the stairs.

He paused where the two were, surprised that they hadn't noticed him. It was too good of a chance just to leave. Lelouch turned to make his way back to where the door was when he caught a bit of their conversation.

"They look exactly the same."

"So? I knew a boy in my elementary school that looked exactly like you. That doesn't mean anything."

Lelouch paused, looking over his shoulder at the two. To his surprise, Kallen seemed to be winning the argument, the man shrinking back.

"I know you want to find him, Suzaku. But you can't just drag every person that looks like him into Marianne. Do you want to be associated with those con men?"

"I would never do that!"

"Then you have to be sure that this is him. Are you sure?"

Suzaku glanced up at him, Lelouch shocked by the absolutely broken look on his face. "I can't, not right now."

"There you go." Kallen crossed her arms over her chest, tipping her head back to look at the portrait on the wall. Lelouch followed her gaze, frowning when he realized that he was at the wrong angle to look at the portrait. Against his better judgment, he began to walk back down the stairs so he could see it more clearly.

"But you have to admit that they look alike."

"I'm not saying they don't." Lelouch froze at the glare that Kallen shot him, relaxing as soon as she looked away. "All I'm saying is that it's not the only evidence that we're looking for."

Lelouch didn't hear Suzaku's reply; he was too busy staring up at the portrait. He recognized two of the people there, it was impossible not to. Everyone knew Emperor Charles zi Britannia and his common born wife, Marianne vi Britannia. Everyone had been shocked when the emperor had been killed, because everyone had thought that he was safe. Marianne was a different story; Marianne was every little girl's dream come true, a normal woman who had become a princess. Although that wasn't exactly true, people still loved her for her accomplishments, and pitied her for the loss of her son.

His eyes jumped to the princess that was sitting in the chair in front of her mother, smiling fondly at the little girl with the blonde hair. Lelouch took a step forward, tipping his head back so he could see her better. He didn't think he had ever seen Princess Nunnally so young; he was used to seeing her from the pictures of her with her mother, a tough young woman.

Lelouch resisted the urge to reach up and touch her, directing his attention to the last person in the picture only to take a step back. It was like looking at himself. He was a little more angular and his hair cut was differently, but those could be explained away by age. The facial structure was nearly identical, and then there were the eyes, the same purple that had once belonged exclusively to the royal family until one emperor had spread it to the rest of the population through his bastard children.

He took another step back, stumbling when Suzaku grabbed onto his shoulder. He turned to look at the man, not sure how to react when Suzaku smiled down at him. "See?"

"See what?"

Suzaku looked back down at him expectantly, Lelouch having to look away. He carefully pushed himself out of Suzaku's hold, glancing up at the portrait again. He was still in shock that he looked so much like the lost prince, but it didn't matter. Lelouch shook his head, raising his shoulders in a shrug. "I don't know. He looks a lot like me, but that doesn't mean anything, it could just be coincidence."

He bit his lip, debating on what he should say next. "But…I'm not sure. I don't remember about eight years of my life. I don't even know my real name. The orphanage just called me Lelouch, because they hadn't named a kid that yet."

"But-"

"The orphanages are filled with Britannian kids named after the dead members of the royal family." Lelouch turned to look at Suzaku. "It doesn't mean anything. And I can't remember anything. So I can't help you."

He turned to walk away, making it half way up the stairs before Kallen caught up to him. He gave her a sideways glance before ignoring her. She was probably just there to make sure that he left the villa and didn't come back. Lelouch had no intentions of returning, not when he had been teased by bits of his memory there and definitely not when he would have to stare at pictures of a dead prince who looked exactly like him. Now he was motivated enough to find one of those places that the orphanage had recommended and just disappear.

They walked out of the ballroom, Lelouch getting a few steps ahead before Kallen put a hand on his shoulder, putting more pressure on him when he went to walk away. "You know, you could get in trouble looking like that."

"Thanks for the warning." He pulled his shoulder out of her grip, turning around to face her. "I'll do my best to avoid everyone. But I don't think that anyone will take me in."

Kallen shrugged. "If they're desperate enough. Do you know the reward for finding that prince?"

"No, and I'd rather not know. I don't want to know how much I'm worth."

Kallen raised an eyebrow before nodding, going to turn away. "Good luck then."

Lelouch took a few steps, aware that she was still looking at him. He gritted his teeth and turned around, glaring at her. "What do you want?"

That got a laugh from her, Kallen leaning back against the wall. "To see if you'll actually go out there and risk being drugged."

"I hardly think people would do that."

"Really? When all they have to do is feed you a few lines? You already act enough like a prince."

"So what?" Lelouch snapped, already frustrated with the way this woman was keeping him from leaving.

His anger got a smile. "So, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't have a reason. We're the official search group for Prince Lelouch, the ones that actually know what Marianne is looking for."

"Get to the point."

That only made her smile broader, Lelouch tempted to just walk away right then. But Kallen straightened up; apparently ready to actually talk to him instead of tease. "I've never seen Prince Lelouch myself, aside from all the pictures from when he was little. I never knew him, but Suzaku did. And I've never seen Suzaku react to a person like he's reacted to you."

"How can you be sure?"

"Do you think we can just walk around a country without being noticed? Fakes are thrown our way all the time. I trust Suzaku on this; he's the only sure thing we have. So, I'm willing to give you a chance."

Lelouch shifted the backpack on his back, pretending to think it over. He wouldn't actually consider anything until he had more information. "And what if I'm not what you're looking for?"

"Then we'll just drop you back here and you'll have lost maybe a week of your life. But you'd probably be a celebrity, the only person that Marianne's knights have picked up."

He played with the strap of his backpack. It would give him a chance to get out of drudge work for the rest of his life and it would neatly avoid a problem that he had never anticipated. If there were others looking for someone that looked enough like Prince Lelouch, then it would be safer for him to stick close to people who could protect him. And there was nothing that he would lose for the endeavor. He was on his own at this point anyway. Lelouch gave Kallen a long look before shrugging; he had to have more time to think this out, to go beyond what it would mean for him tomorrow.

Kallen seemed to anticipate this, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. She quickly wrote something before passing it on to him. "That's where we're staying, if you change your mind. Now, do me a favor and disappear before I get Suzaku out here. It's going to be hard enough to convince him to leave now that he knows you exist."

He nodded and slipped down another corridor, listening as Kallen shouted back into the ballroom. Lelouch didn't even bother to linger to try and eavesdrop; he walked down the corridor until he couldn't hear the shouting. Only then did he allow himself to fall back against the wall, his hand clenching around the address.

His best bet was to just take the chance, it was better than just living out the rest of his life being bored. But there was a part of him that was scared. He would be entrusting his life to these people that he didn't know, these people who would just let him assume that he was Prince Lelouch.

There was a danger there too.

If he allowed himself to think that he was the prince and then was proven to be a liar it would be like losing his memories all over again, he would have no purpose, no life.

Lelouch swallowed and pressed his head back into the wall, muffling a groan. He was trapped either way he looked at it. It was just a matter of taking the course that would leave the least amount of damage. But, if he just decided to work all of his life, he would be bored and without his memories. If he went with Kallen he would at least have a short time where he could believe that he had a past, that he was actually someone instead of just another Britannian orphan.

That just led him back to his trust issue. He was sure that Kallen was being sincere; he didn't think she could fake that kind of confidence. But having a grasp of her basic personality and trusting her were two different things.

It was Suzaku that disturbed him the most. He had only met the man and he already trusted him a fraction. Lelouch shut his eyes and tried to pin point it on some real evidence, maybe on the way that he was honest and open with his eyes. But there was nothing, just the nagging feeling that Lelouch should trust him, just because he had waved at him.

No. Lelouch frowned, that wasn't the entire reason. He trusted Suzaku because of the feeling that he had been waiting for Suzaku.

Lelouch nearly laughed at that idea. He trusted someone on a half remembered memory, one that he wasn't even sure was real. But, then again, Kallen had said that Suzaku had known Prince Lelouch, so maybe Suzaku could be the one to fill in some of the gaps in his memory. And that was useful enough to tip the scales in favor of going with them.

He unclenched his fist, staring at the crumpled paper and taking a deep breath.

* * *

><p>Nunnally watched her mother carefully, taking in the way one hand curled over the edge of the desk while the other wasn't visible. Marianne's left hand was probably gripping the armrest of the chair in its usual death grip as she soaked in every moment that she had with Lelouch.<p>

Except this wasn't Lelouch.

Nunnally looked back at the man who was standing in the middle of the room, still on a long tirade in an attempt to answer a simple question. She would never completely understand why her mother continued to allow these imposters in. Of course she knew that Marianne was still looking for her son, Nunnally never went a day without looking for Lelouch either. A man that looked about the right age with black hair would always catch her attention, never mind the logic that Lelouch could have changed drastically in the ten years that he had been missing. She just wanted her brother back at any cost, save for one.

These repeated failures were hurting her mother. Despite the advice that both Euphemia and Milly offered Marianne, her mother kept asking to see the imposters that came in the hopes that they could claim the reward money and live like a prince for the rest of their lives. Surprisingly, many of them were good, but they all failed eventually and that would break Marianne's heart. They had been looking for Lelouch for ten years, and it seemed no one would find him.

Nunnally had almost come to the point of begging her mother to give up a few times, just to make sure that Marianne wouldn't be hurt anymore. She was hurt by the imposters, but her memories of her brother were faded, replaced by the confusion and fear of the night that her father had been killed. It wasn't the best defense, but at least it stopped her from being depressed by another failure.

Another glance at Marianne had Nunnally standing up, annoyed when the impersonator didn't stop his rambling. She took a deep breath before cutting him off. "And Schneizel was the only one that could beat you at chess because Clovis was never good at strategy." Nunnally glared at the man, slightly surprised when he dared to glare back. She straightened up, gesturing at the door. "You are dismissed."

The man glanced at Marianne, like he was waiting for a signal from her. Nunnally narrowed her eyes at that. Marianne might be the one offering the reward money, but she had just as much power as the rest of her siblings. Nunnally repeated her dismissive gesture, watching as the man slunk away. She could trust that the rest of the staff would lead him out the door.

When she was sure that he was gone, Nunnally walked over to Marianne, gently prying her hand away from her desk. "Mother?"

"Nunnally…why..."

"It wasn't him, Mother." Nunnally winced at the pleading look that Marianne gave her. Of course Marianne wanted to believe that it was Lelouch, she still blamed herself for not pulling him into the car sooner. Nunnally had listened to all of the variations of Marianne's explanations for why Lelouch wasn't with them, and they all came down to that it was her fault, her failure as a mother.

Nunnally sighed and wrapped her arms around Marianne, not liking the way that her mother trembled. "We both know that it wasn't him, mother. He was giving the standard answer verbatim." She felt Marianne clutch at her arm, Nunnally closing her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"We'll find him next time."

She tensed at that, looking down at her mother's head. If she had her way, there wouldn't be a next time. As much as she hated to say it, she didn't want to look anymore, not if it was hurting them this badly. Marianne had gone from the strong knight and soldier of the guard's stories to a tormented woman, all because she had lost a child.

Nunnally stroked her mother's hair before pressing a kiss on the top of her head, not saying anything. She didn't have to.

Marianne gave a choked sigh before nodding slowly. "There's still a team out looking for him."

"We'll call them back."

"Alright…but what about Suzaku? He won't stop, not even if I ordered him."

Nunnally nodded, humming to herself. There was really nothing either of them could do about Suzaku; he would keep searching no matter what. Even if they came out and agreed officially with the statement from the emperor that Lelouch was dead, Suzaku wouldn't give up. Lelouch's loss was going to haunt Suzaku for the rest of his life.

Nunnally had seen how he and Euphemia had danced around each other for that one year that Euphemia had stayed with them, but Suzaku hadn't let it grow into anything. Any time Marianne asked for volunteers to go chasing after rumors of Lelouch, Suzaku would be the first up. He would be gone for months at a time, and Nunnally would have to watch Euphemia realize that she would never be able to actually have all of Suzaku to herself. It was why Euphemia had left after a year and hadn't come back.

There were times that Nunnally wished that she could just leave like Euphemia, she didn't want to sit and watch the people that she loved most slowly kill themselves.

She pulled away from Marianne, smiling at her mother. "I'll think of something."

Nunnally watched her mother carefully, about to stammer out some plan to continue searching for Lelouch when Marianne reached forward, gently tipping the picture of Lelouch down onto her desk. Nunnally stared at the back of the frame before taking a step back, feeling slightly sick. She had just wanted to stop her mother from tormenting herself, not to make Marianne stop completely.

She watched as Marianne got up from her desk, eagerly accepting the hug that her mother pulled her into. Even wrapped up in her mother's arms, she couldn't stop staring at the picture that Marianne had put face down on the desk.

Marianne was the first to pull away from the hug, walking to the office door and calling for Jeremiah. Knowing her mother, Marianne was probably going to go for a long ride or a long walk, anything that would keep her attention from the decision that she had just made. Nunnally winced, glancing back at the picture before quickly walking out of the office. If that was the final decision then she would stick with it. Maybe it was time to let Lelouch go.

* * *

><p>Kallen slammed her shoulder into the door to their hotel room, smiling when it finally swung open. She tossed the key onto the table, slipping off her jacket and tossing it onto the bed. Kallen ignored the sound of singing coming from the bathroom, flopping onto the bed and wrestling off her shoes before collapsing back.<p>

The singing abruptly stopped, Kallen lifting her head from the bed to see Gino leaning out of the bathroom, rubbing a towel against his head. "I thought you said you were bringing Suzaku back."

"I am. He's grabbing food."

"Kallen…"

"Don't 'Kallen' me." She huffed and propped herself up on her elbows. "He volunteered."

The towel dropped out of Gino's hands. "He volunteered? What's got him in a good mood?"

Kallen just grinned, earning a pout from Gino. The blond picked up his towel and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the door open. "Fine, don't tell me. You know I'll just ask Suzaku, right?"

"I know. But you two need more bonding time anyway."

"We've bonded plenty. I could list off the times you left us stranded with no idea where we were going."

"You had a map."

Gino walked out of the bathroom, a towel on his head and his shirt unbuttoned. "I was trained to be a knight, which means I will spend most of my time standing to one side and looking dashing. I was not trained to read maps."

"Stubborn noble."

Gino just laughed and reached out to ruffle her hair, letting her catch his wrist. She glared at him before letting his wrist go, breaking out into a smile as soon as he stepped away. They had been like this for as long as she could remember.

At first, Gino had annoyed her because he was from a noble family and had goofed off most of the time. It had taken her a while, and Suzaku talking to her about it multiple times, for her to finally accept that Gino wasn't looking down at them, he was always annoyingly happy. Better yet, he seemed to be a steadying influence on Suzaku where she couldn't be. Gino actually had the patience to try and talk him out of his funks while Kallen was always tempted to strangle Suzaku and just be done with it.

She shoved his hand away as he tried to ruffle her hair again, scooting out of the way so he could collapse back on the bed with a long sigh. Kallen looked over her shoulder, hesitating before reaching out to run her fingers up his side. Gino jerked, twisting in an attempt to get away from her as he laughed. "No! Kallen don't! Have mercy!"

"That's what I thought." She flicked her fingers against his side before scooting away; biting her lip to keep from laughing as Gino nearly tumbled from the bed.

He recovered quickly enough, hauling himself back towards the center of the bed while carefully guarding his sides from her. "Now, what is this about Suzaku?"

Kallen raised one shoulder in a shrug. "He's in a good mood for once. Can't we leave it at that?"

"Yes, but why. I know him well enough to know that Suzaku being in a good mood is something that doesn't happen often and not without a reason."

Kallen's smile wavered. She dropped her gaze to the covers, picking at it as she went over the encounter at the Aries Villa in her head. Gino had just sent her after Suzaku so they could start looking again. Instead, she had ending up calling Gino and ordering him to head back to the hotel. With that order and the knowledge that Suzaku was in a good mood for once, he was bound to be curious, and she owed Gino that explanation, just in case.

She pulled her knees to her chest. "Suzaku thinks we've found him."

"What?" The bed moved as Gino sat up, Kallen not bothering to turn back to face him. She just nodded.

"When I went to get Suzaku at the villa, there was this guy there. I meant to chase him away, but Suzaku insisted that he was Lelouch."

"Do you think he is?"

"I don't know." Kallen sighed, turning sideways and falling onto the bed. "I just don't know anymore. Normally, I'd trust Suzaku with something like this, but you've seen how he is. Then again, he's the only one who would have the best chance of finding Lelouch."

"And?"

"I asked the guy to come along. What else could I do? If we didn't pick him up, then someone else would have and Suzaku seemed so sure…"

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem?" Kallen rolled into her back. "Gino we could be wrong. Have you thought of that? We could be walking right back to Lady Marianne with another imposter."

"Then we test to make sure." Gino rolled his eyes, propping himself on one elbow. "Listen, we get him to agree to a DNA test or," Gino waved a hand, "something like that and, while it's cooking, we bring him to Marianne. We introduce him with the warning that the firm evidence is coming soon and sit back and see if we've managed to do our job."

"And what if we mess up?"

"Then we mess up."

"Gino!" She rolled over, pinning him to the bed and glaring down at him. "I'm being serious. What if we mess up?"

"Lady Marianne won't hold it against us." Gino frowned, lifting one hand to rest it against her shoulder. "We'll have to watch Suzaku carefully after that though."

"Yeah." Kallen let out a breathless laugh, ducking her head. She couldn't even imagine what Suzaku would try to do if he was faced with that kind of failure. She sighed, glancing up as Gino patted her shoulder, probably about to offer some reassurance when the door to the room opened, revealing a confused Suzaku.

"You guys could have left the sign for me."

Kallen snorted, rolling off Gino and making sure to knee him in the side. "We weren't doing anything."

Suzaku shook his head, dropping the bags on the desk and walking over to the other bed. "That doesn't look like not doing anything."

Kallen glared at him, but Gino was the one to respond. "Well aren't you in a good mood. Did anything happen to you today?"

Suzaku just grinned at the two of them, but his hand noticeably strayed into his pocket. It jerked back as someone knocked on the door, Suzaku shooting them a confused glance before he walked over to the door. Kallen reached down for her back, Gino stopping her halfway through the move with a shake of his head. It was probably nothing too horrible, maybe a message that they had just missed.

She forced herself to relax as the door swung open, surprised to see the guy from the villa standing there. And, from the way Suzaku stumbled back, he was surprised too.

The man glanced at Suzaku, staring at him for a moment before turning his attention to Kallen. He carefully remained outside of the door. "I thought about what you said."

"And?" The question escaped her before she could look at Suzaku. But, when she did, he looked shocked. She forced herself to look away from him, watching as the man shifted his weight.

"I decided that you were right. I'd be better off taking my chances with you."

"I knew you were smart." Kallen stood up, gesturing for the man to come in. She had to cross the room to shut the door behind him, Suzaku still leaning against the wall and staring at the man with wide eyes. Kallen shook her head and patted his shoulder, surprised when he didn't react. She pulled away, giving Suzaku a worried look before turning her attention to their guest. "But I thought that you would wait longer."

The man chuckled. "I didn't like the stares that I was getting." He sat down on the chair, glancing around the room. "So, you promised me a chance to try my luck. What exactly will that entail?"

Kallen looked over at Gino, surprised when he motioned for her to go on. Apparently, he was with her on this, which only left Suzaku. At the moment, Suzaku was still too much in shock to do anything. Kallen cleared her throat, motioning for Gino to move. "Well, most of the effort will be answering questions about yourself." Her eyes narrowed as he paled, but the man just nodded. "But we'll be doing a DNA test, just to be sure."

"And the deal still stands? If I'm not him, I'm not punished."

Kallen nodded and stuck out her hand. The man stared at it for a while before reaching out and taking it. She frowned at the lose grip, tightening her own and giving his hand a good shake before pulling away. She had to fight back the laugh that threatened to come out as she saw him gently rubbing his hand. She turned her attention to the food that Suzaku had brought; sorting it out as she listened to Gino make the arrangements for their flight back to London.


	4. Chapter 3: Something Whispered

**Chapter Three: Something Whispered in an Alleyway**

Lelouch played with the locket, sending it back and forth on the chain around his neck. He had woken up again, and this time he couldn't convince himself to go back to sleep. Lelouch sighed, letting the locket and chain drop back to his chest, turning his head to stare at the clock. It was six in the morning. He had one hour before he had to get up so that they could catch their flight back. That was, if he still wanted to stick with this plan.

It had sounded good when Kallen had explained it to him back at Aries Villa and when he had thought it over. But it was slowly losing its appeal the longer he thought about it.

For one, he was entrusting his life to two strangers. No, three. Lelouch closed his hand over the locket, taking a deep breath. Suzaku was just as much of a stranger as the rest of them. There was no reason for him to trust Suzaku other than the vague feeling, which could mean anything. Suzaku could just remind him of someone that he had known in the past.

Lelouch grunted and flipped to his side, his back facing the clock. So, he had gotten himself into a situation with three people that he wasn't sure he could trust. But at least they hadn't lied to him about being sent by Lady Marianne, he had made them show identification before he had agreed to stay the night; which left him in a room with two knights of the empire and a guard, the people that he would have trusted anyway.

He narrowed his eyes, pushing aside that issue for the next one. He was essentially risking everything for this; he was disappearing off the radar of the orphanage. All of the contacts that the orphanage had set up for him would eventually give up him, which he was almost alright with. He would be better with this whole thing if there was a way for him to make sure that he would have something to come back to, but Lelouch knew better. What these people were offering him was the best opportunity that he had.

Third, it was a chance to get his memories back. If Suzaku was just vaguely familiar then the possibility of him triggering other memories was better. It was better than his original plan of just wandering around the Aries Villa in the hopes that something would trigger. Although he wasn't sure about how likely either of situations would be. If neither of them worked, he could always count on the information that he would get from the knights. And if that didn't work, then Lelouch wasn't sure what would.

He sighed, dropping his gaze to where Suzaku was asleep on the floor, curling up in a blanket. Lelouch shook his head, sliding his hand under his own pillow. Suzaku had volunteered his own bed and claimed the floor faster than Lelouch had been able to refuse. He was used to sleeping in uncomfortable places, not because the orphanage was abusive in any way, but there were times when it had gotten crowded.

Lelouch glanced over his shoulder at a grunt, watching as Gino curled around Kallen on the other bed. He shook his head. So this was where he gambled and then waited for it all to pay off, it was the only think he could do. And surprisingly, he wasn't regretting his actions yet, he was just nervous about what he was getting himself into.

It wasn't like Lady Marianne was going to kill him for attempting this, right?

He winced, his eyes snapping open as he heard someone sit up. Lelouch startled as a hand landed on the side of the bed, scooting back as Suzaku used the hold to lever himself upright. The guard swayed for a moment, rubbing his eyes before stretching. Lelouch tensed as Suzaku jerked, the man realizing that he was being watched.

Suzaku turned to look at him, giving Lelouch a smile. "Sorry if I woke you, your highness."

Lelouch grit his teeth to keep himself from shouting. "Don't call me that. You guys haven't proven anything yet."

The smile was still on Suzaku's face. "And when we do?"

"That's up for me to decide." Lelouch kept his voice low, settling for a glare. He wouldn't have anyone deciding things for him more than he had to; he was already giving up too much. This was better than just trudging through the rest of his life without a real reason to live. For now, that focus was on his memories. Lelouch would figure out what would come afterward later.

He sat up, still glaring at Suzaku. "For now, I'm just taking a stab in the dark, nothing is proven."

Suzaku just shrugged and walked over to the bathroom, Lelouch sighing and sinking back into the bed, pulling the covers back over his head.

There was another problem that he hadn't thought of, having to be around Suzaku and his hopeful smiles. Lelouch had been on the receiving end of those since Suzaku had gotten over his shock. Lelouch hadn't had the time to talk with the others. Gino had just announced that he had only been able to get an early flight before shooing them all towards bed. But that was one thing that Lelouch had to fix quickly, he had to figure out why they were all doing this aside from their orders, especially Suzaku.

Lelouch's eyes snapped open as he heard people moving in the other bed, peering out from the covers as he rolled onto his other side. It was seven in the morning now, the time that they were all supposed to be getting up. He smothered a yawn and tugged the covers over his head again, taking a couple of deep breaths. He was the one who had wanted this; he had to face the consequences of his choice.

He threw the covers back, quickly averting his eyes as Kallen clambered out of bed, going over to the bathroom door. Lelouch ignored her as she shouted abuse at Suzaku, pivoting in place to face Gino. The blond man smiled, glancing over his shoulder. "You get used to the two of them."

Lelouch raised an eyebrow, leaning back onto his hands. With Kallen staking out the bathroom as hers next, Lelouch couldn't really do anything but sit and wait.

Gino struggled to pull a shirt over his head, shaking his head as soon as it was settled. "You've probably made the smart move there. Kallen does not appreciate a fine morning like I do."

"I'll show you a fine morning." Kallen snapped.

Lelouch turned around in time to see Suzaku peek out of the bathroom, his eyes widening as Kallen grabbed Suzaku's shoulder and hauled him out of the bathroom, leaving Suzaku standing in the room with nothing but a towel around his waist. Suzaku blushed and scurried to get his clothes while Gino laughed.

"You should have gotten up sooner, Suzaku."

Suzaku just mumbled an answer, digging through his suitcase for a change of clothes.

Lelouch swallowed and looked back over at Gino, not sure how to take the chaos that seemed to be a normal morning for the three of them. And, from the way that Gino was laughing into his pillow, Lelouch wouldn't be getting that answer any time soon. He shifted uncomfortably in his bed and resigned himself to having to deal with it.

In the orphanage, there really hadn't been the chance for companionship like this, or he hadn't allowed it. The schedule that was followed wasn't too strict and there was plenty of time for playing or relaxing. The problem was that Lelouch had spent the entirety of his time with the children who knew that they would never get adopted, the ones that just knew that they were living here until it was time to go out into the streets. The younger kids could be hopeful, but the others had run out of hope, so they just existed. No one got close just because there was the fear that they wouldn't be able to be found again, that they'd forget about their friends in the rush of their new life.

It had been quiet and predictable, nothing like this.

Lelouch swallowed and threw the covers off of him, sliding out of bed to kneel by his backpack. He didn't have much, but it would be enough to get him to London. When they got there, he would have to figure out something else, but he bet that the knights wouldn't let him go without. He refused to acknowledge the quick moment of guilt that came with that thought.

He wasn't tricking them at all. They had offered him a chance to find out what had happened to him, and he was taking it. He hadn't lied to them about anything, although he had been tempted to just to avoid their notice.

He reached for his locket, twirling it between his fingers. He wasn't ever going to second guess his choice. It was the right one after all.

Lelouch pulled out another pair of jeans and a turtleneck, glancing around the room before hissing a curse out. It wasn't like he wasn't used to changing with other people in the room, but at least those people he had known. He took a deep breath before pulling off his shirt and pulling on the turtleneck, quickly struggling into his jeans as he heard the bathroom door open.

He froze as Kallen walked out, the woman absently toweling off her hair as she stared at him. "What?"

"Uh…"

She huffed and threw the towel on the ground. "I'm dressed and there's nothing showing." She rolled her eyes and ambled over to the bed she had shared with Gino, beginning to pack up. "Now hurry up, your highness, or we'll be late."

Lelouch didn't get a chance to respond; barely finishing getting dressed himself before Gino was herding them out of the room with a smile and a friendly reminder to remember their bags. Lelouch just clutched his backpack, feeling very lost. In what seemed like moments he was down in the lobby of the hotel, Gino leaning against the counter and flirting with the woman behind the desk, seeming oblivious to Kallen's glares.

His hands tightened on his backpack, Lelouch taking a quick breath. He just had to repeat to himself that he wouldn't regret this, that it was better than just sitting around and waiting for something to happen. He had done enough of that for ten years.

He jumped as a hand landed on his arm, surprised to see Suzaku smiling down at him. Lelouch barely resisted the urge to pull away, wanting to snap at Suzaku. He wasn't overwhelmed by all of this. It may have been moving faster than he wanted, but he was far from being so lost that he didn't know what to do. But Suzaku just smiled at him, and Lelouch allowed it.

Lelouch sighed and stared at the floor, trying to distance himself from all of this. He had gotten good at it during his time in the orphanage. It had been tough to find some time alone with all of the other kids, so he had just curled up in a corner and stared at his locket, waiting for them to leave him alone. Usually he zoned out before that happened, but it still left him with the illusion of being alone. Back then, he had been willing to take the illusion, he had been willing to take any illusion.

Suzaku's hand stayed on his arm, not gripping but resting there as Kallen finally dragged Gino away and they began their walk outside. Lelouch was tempted to shrug it off again as Gino called for a taxi, but resisted the urge. Suzaku wasn't restraining him in any way or attempting to guide him. Suzaku was just there, standing by his side with that stupid smile on his face. So Lelouch allowed him to remain, Suzaku staying too close to him from the time he got out of the taxi at the airport until they sat down in their seats.

* * *

><p>Mao tapped his cell phone against his leg, leaning back on the bench. He stared at the sky, tapping out a rhythm of four before stopping when the sound got too annoying. Mao stared at the cell phone before letting it drop beside him. The cell phone wouldn't be ringing anyway, anyone who knew the number was dead already. He carefully kept his face from showing his emotion, brushing an invisible bit of lint from his pants.<p>

The other three leaders of the Geass Order had died quickly on his way out, but not before they had tried to bargain for their life, the key word being tried. None of them had been able to supply him more information than the files on the boy. From there he had learned that his rival's name was Lelouch Lamperouge. He had been named after the youngest prince that had died on the day of the massacre and had been recently released from an orphanage in Tokyo because he had aged out. There the trail went cold.

Mao had spent the day trying to get more information from the contacts that the Geass Order had, but they had all come up with the same answer; Lelouch had essentially disappeared from the face of the world. He hadn't checked in with the contacts that the orphanage had set up nor had he sought out a job. The people at the orphanage weren't worried, they had been told by the woman who had brought him to them that she would take care of him for a few days if he didn't want to settle with a job right away. The orphanage wouldn't be checking in with him for a few days, which meant that this was Mao's perfect chance to strike, if he could find the boy. The fact that Lelouch had disappeared from the face of the earth at this point made it difficult.

He sighed and picked up his phone again, staring at the screen. He wasn't expecting any calls, not since he'd called his people off. It was time to think and regroup, the stage that he hated the most. To sit around and be inactive would push his patience to the limit, but he was willing to do it for C.C.

Mao glanced lazily up at the hotel across the street, watching people pass in front of it. He would have to work on his own for the next part, asking around about the boy and following his trail despite the fact that it was probably cold. And then there was the logistics of the Geass Order to worry about, the whole organization was operating under the idea that they still had leaders and Mao was just under orders. It wouldn't take them long to figure out that their leaders were dead. In that case, he had to be ready to strike out on his own, but he would have to take all of the files with him.

He reached over to pat his backpack, trying to reassure himself that he had everything. He would go back to the Geass Order's headquarters just in case. He wanted to be prepared when the rest of the Order came after him, if they came after him at all. From what he knew about the group, many of them had just joined to have the chance to protest the government. The Order had basically fallen apart after the night of the massacre and become a group of old men grumbling about the fact that they had lost their chance to govern Japan.

Mao sighed, letting his arm drape over the backpack. A trip back to the headquarters wouldn't hurt in any case and it would give him a chance to get some other documents that could come in handy, like those that detailed his missions. It wouldn't be too hard to burn them to be sure that he was never caught. And then there were the plans that Vincent had originally written up, the ones that had detailed how the Order would come into power, they would be useful to him eventually. He could think of five families off the top of his head that would pay him good money for that information, Britannian or not. In any case, he was set, just as long as he found that boy.

He groaned, flipping his phone open again before snapping it shut a moment later. If he continued to sit on the bench he wouldn't get anything done, and the trail would be lost. Mao bent over to grab his bag. He would go over the files one more time before moving on, he wanted to be sure of everything before he started out on his own. It was safe enough to stay here because, if the men from the Geass Order came looking for him, they would start in his usual spots and he was far from any of those. The only way they could catch him was if they followed him from the crematory where he had dropped off C.C's body. He hadn't wanted to have her cremated, he would have preferred to have had her buried, but she had always talked about not being tied to one place. It had only made sense to have her cremated, because then he could scatter her ashes into the wind and let her travel forever. He would be sure to buy a headstone later, just to have something to visit and remember her by. At the moment, he had a mission to do and nothing in mind that would fit C.C. to put on a headstone. He would have plenty of time to think it over.

He sighed and stared at the file, shaking his head. He picked up the picture of the boy, snorting at it. He couldn't imagine what the Geass Order would want with this boy. There was nothing special about him and yet they had a wealth of information on him. Mao could also see the beginnings of a hit on this boy, one that he would have eventually had to carry would, which just left him all the more confused. What about this boy was so special?

He held the picture up, squinting at it. There to be had to be something that would give him a clue, then he could finally understand why C.C. had replaced him with this boy. Mao titled his head to the side, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He went to put the picture down when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye from the hotel across the street.

Four people were getting into a cab. One of them was instantly recognizable, Suzaku Kururugi. The son of the former prime minister of Japan had disappeared for a few years before being found again. He had eventually sought shelter out of the country with the Britannian family because the Kururugi family had supported the Britannians. It hadn't been safe for Suzaku in Japan until recently when the government had stabilized.

The other two took him a moment longer to recognize. He guessed that they were guards at first from the way that they carried themselves and their general alertness. It was the way that Suzaku deferred to them that made him realize that they were more than guards, they were knights specifically assigned to guard members of the royal family. Mao sighed, shaking his head. They would only be here if there was a dignitary in Japan, which would make hiding that much harder for him. Once the murders of the former members of the Japanese government were found it would be a matter of time before his name came up.

Mao cursed under his breath. He would change his plans depending on when the news broke. He wanted to be sure that he would have to hide before committing himself to that plan.

Mao's eyes widened as she saw the fourth person come into view, staring at the young man. Apparently it was his lucky day, because he had found his mark. The fact that the boy was being escorted by knights of Britannia and Suzaku Kururugi was a bit worrying, but not enough to deter Mao. For all he knew the boy could be a fake to confuse the public or probably a minor son in the house of Britannia. If the boy had been Schneizel's son, there would have been many more guards. But none of that mattered; all that did was that Mao would be able to get the boy away from his guards.

He slipped the file back into his backpack, watching as they got into a cab. Mao got to his feet, hailing a cab of his own. Mao gave the orders to go to the airport, hoping that his guess was right. To give the order just to follow the other cab would be too suspicious, especially since the cab had Britannians and he was very careful to avoid suspicion.

When he was sure that the cab would keep him with his quarry, Mao sat back with a sigh and took out his phone. He would transfer what funds he could before switching to his other cell phone. He would then dump the phone given to him by the Geass Order to avoid being tracked. In the meantime, he would stack the odds in his favor. Killing the boy, whether or not he was an important part of the house of Britannia or not, would cause another uproar in Japan and he preferred to avoid that. But another dead Britannian in Britannia or the EU would be another thing entirely.

* * *

><p>Nunnally looked up from her book as Rolo cleared his throat, smiling at the sight of Euphemia rushing in, leaving the maid to handle the tea tray. Nunnally stood up and caught Euphemia in a hug, the two of them smiling at each other before sitting down at the nearest table, Rolo bringing over the tray.<p>

"Thank you." Nunnally cut a slice of cake and added a sandwich to the plate before gesturing to one of the cups. "Go on and take your break Rolo."

"But-"

"You don't have to leave. I'm just asking you to take a break while we talk and enjoy yourself. Euphy and I can't eat all of this on our own."

Rolo looked like he was going to refuse for a moment, but he bowed. "Yes, my lady."

Nunnally smiled, turning her attention to her half sister, sure that Rolo would listen to her. Despite his nervousness and over protectiveness he was a wonderful guard. She just wished that he would talk more often. She was sure that Rolo would be as good as Jeremiah once he got a little more experience. He was still very young.

From the information given to them from Rolo's mother, he wasn't the biological son of Lord Haliburton but one of Charles' illegitimate children. Lady Haliburton had wanted the reminder of the scandal out of the house before her marriage had collapsed further. Because of this Rolo was constantly afraid of being dragged out into the spotlight as a member of the Britannian family or failing as a guard, which was the only reason that Nunnally was holding out on knighting him. More recently, however, she had been considering keeping him as a guard until he requested to become a knight.

Euphemia gave Rolo a wave and settled back in her chair. "Oh, it's good to sit down. We've been on the move since yesterday."

"But you had no problems?"

Euphemia shook her head. "Not while traveling. Although Empress Evelina is close to throwing a fit because Kanon has returned from his family business."

"I thought that they had settled that."

"So did I." Euphemia sighed. "But now that she's empress, Evelina doesn't want to be upstaged by a minor noble and a man at that, despite the fact that she was fine with Schneizel's relationship with Kanon before. In fact, Evelina hadn't cared for Schneizel before he became emperor. Even Schneizel's son prefers Kanon to Evelina. I sense some trouble coming from Pendragon soon."

Both of them winced. Schneizel didn't deserve trouble on top of the running of the empire.

The empire had nearly crumbled when Schneizel had taken the throne. Factions had tried to push forward Guinevere and Cornelia as alternates despite Cornelia's adamant refusals and the fact that Guinevere refused to come out of hiding for the first two months after the massacre. Even when Guinevere had refused the position the other branches of the family continued their attempts, beginning to drag up scandals in the hopes that people would demand that he would abdicate. And Schneizel had weathered all of the attempts, even when they had pulled out his continuing affair with Kanon, even though it had been public since Schneizel's college years. The attempt had just gathered support for Schneizel, even to the point where there were calls for him to end his marriage to Evelina, something that Schneizel had refused to do. Nunnally had never asked for his reasons, just because she thought that he deserved some measure of peace on the matter.

The attempt that had ruined the entire effort was the push to prove that Schneizel had a part in the massacre of his family. Schneizel had denied these claims vehemently and put even more effort into finding those who had killed members of their family. That had really secured his position as emperor, but it was still a struggle, especially with the former wives of Charles zi Britannia, a handful of them still jockeying to get their children onto the throne of Britannia.

Nunnally sipped at her tea. "Will Evelina cause more trouble for him? She has everything that she wants."

Euphemia shrugged. "That's probably why Cornelia wanted to get out of Pendragon. Schneizel and Kanon will be able to handle Evelina themselves, but this might be what brings about their divorce no matter what Schneizel wants. That and she was getting on Cornelia's nerves about Guilford. Apparently it isn't right to be engaged to a lowly soldier, not even if he is one's knight."

"I thought that Dalton was her knight."

"He is. Guilford stepped down when their relationship began to get serious, but Evelina doesn't seem to care." Euphemia rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair. "I wish that the two of you would come back to court, I'm sure that Marianne would be able to keep Evelina in line. Gabrielle would have…" Euphemia swallowed, dropping her gaze to the table. "Katarina isn't doing so well herself; the doctors say that she had months left to live."

Nunnally winced and stared down at her tea. She couldn't imagine how Schneizel would handle the loss of his mother. They were all very sensitive to the loss of anyone close to them. She sighed and put her cup down. "I don't think mother would want to. She's said that she doesn't want to go back to Pendragon, that she doesn't feel safe there. And…she still wants to find Lelouch."

Euphemia's cup shook. "Lelouch? You mean his body or…"

"No, she thinks he's still alive." Nunnally leaned forward, covering her face with her hands. "I got her to stop though; I got her to stop looking. It was killing her to keep listening to all of those impostors. So at least she's stopped seeing them."

"That's…good."

"It isn't! You didn't see her face." Nunnally looked up, sorry that she had yelled at Euphemia. She folded her hands into her lap. "It was like they had announced that he was dead again and I was the one who got her to do it."

"I don't think Marianne will stop."

"No, she'll never stop looking on her own, but she's not going to try." Nunnally bit her lip. "We went out to the theater yesterday and there was a man who looked like Lelouch, but she didn't even look at him. She spent the entire time staring straight ahead."

Euphemia reached out, resting a hand on Nunnally's. "You did the right thing, Nunnally. Perhaps she can get over his death now."

"Death?"

"Nunnally…" Euphemia shifted nervously in her seat. "He fell out of the car. Lelouch could have survived the fall, but the villa was surrounded by people who wanted to kill us. I…I don't think that Lelouch would have survived that. I'm sorry."

Nunnally sniffed, ducking her head so Euphemia wouldn't see her cry. "I know that. I do. But I just don't want to say it, because it will feel like I've given up. And I don't want to give up."

"I know. I would feel the same way if it was Cornelia. But it's for the best. You don't want to end up like-" Euphemia cut herself off. The cup and saucer rattled as Euphemia set them back on the table, Nunnally looking up at the sound.

She knew what Euphemia had been about to say, she didn't want Marianne or Nunnally to end up like Suzaku, which was a valid worry at this point. Nunnally was sure that Marianne would mope around their mansion for a few days more before going out into society like before; she had only gone out the day before because they had already planned that outing. She was sure that Marianne would recover and begin to move on, if not forgive herself. Nunnally wasn't so sure about Suzaku. In fact, she had put off calling the team back for the sole reason that she had no idea what she would tell Suzaku. Even if he obeyed the order to return, Nunnally was sure that he would resign the next day and continue to search on his own.

"Nunnally, I'll stay if you want." Euphemia leaned forward. "Cornelia wants to spent some time alone with Guilford, but I'll stay. Sometimes it's better to have another person around."

"I'd like that. Thank you."

Euphemia nodded. "You're welcome. And, between you and me, I'd rather not have to spend time with Cornelia while she attempts to flirt with Guilford. It can get painful."

"Well then you're welcome to stay." Nunnally smiled, wiping her cheeks. "I'm sure that Milly would love to see you again, especially since it means more parties for her to plan."

"Oh, I haven't been to a Milly party in ages." Euphemia grinned, reaching for a cookie and nibbling at the edge of it. "Is she still engaged to that fifty year old man?"

"No, she managed to wiggle out of that. Now she's after someone her own age." Nunnally allowed her mind to wander as she reported the latest gossip. She was more focused on what to say to the knights that they had sent out, and she was sure that Euphemia could tell that her mind was not on the subject. But her half sister wouldn't object, she would just try her best to keep Nunnally from brooding to long on the subject.

She would contact the three out in Area 11 after dinner, when she was sure that Euphemia would distract Marianne. Nunnally didn't want her mother to change her mind at the last minute. It was better just to give up on this one matter, because they could move on with their lives. Nunnally didn't want to forget about Lelouch, forgetting her brother was the last thing on her mind. But she did want to be able to move on, to be able to look out the window and not jump because she saw someone that looked like Lelouch. Most of all, she didn't want to become like her mother or Suzaku, always waiting for someone that she _knew_ was never going to come back.

Nunnally swallowed, glancing back at Rolo before returning her complete attention to Euphemia. Between her and Euphemia, they were going to make this work out.

* * *

><p>Suzaku woke up at the steady pressure on his shoulder. He turned his head, surprised to see that Lelouch had leaned over to use him as a pillow and had fallen asleep. Suzaku smiled and reached up to ruffle Lelouch's hair only to jerk his hand back.<p>

This wasn't his Lelouch, no matter how much Suzaku wanted him to be. He wasn't going to let himself be too hopeful, he had promised himself that after countless failures. But it was hard, especially since Lelouch looked so much like his friend. He even had the royal eyes, the deep purple color that was acknowledged to be a Britannian trait. Even the Duke of Britannia, the first emperor of the current royal line, had had the strange color. That had to be enough evidence to prove that this Lelouch was somehow related to the royalty if not the missing prince. And if he wasn't the lost prince, then Suzaku could go on searching knowing that he had managed to do one thing right.

Suzaku reached up to trace the shape of the tattoo on his neck through the fabric of his shirt. What he really wanted to do was hold onto his pin, but that was stowed carefully in his carry on bag, which was out of his reach. He wanted the reminder, just to tell himself not to get too emotionally involved. There had been hundreds of people claiming that they were Lelouch before, he didn't want to get his hopes up.

He glanced over to where Gino and Kallen were sitting, a bit disappointed when he saw that Gino was fast asleep and Kallen was immersed in the thriller novel that Gino had brought along. Suzaku sagged in his seat, trying to look out the window to avoid looking at Lelouch.

It was unfair to rely on them for a distraction, especially since the two of them obviously had something between them. While Suzaku was happy for the two of them he felt like the odd one out, like he had when they had been knighted and he had remained a guard or when they were chosen to escort Lady Marianne and Nunnally. Logically he knew that it wasn't their faults or even Marianne's fault, but that thought didn't help, especially when all of them were giving him sympathetic looks. Suzaku understood that he was messed up and that finding Lelouch had become an obsession, but it was the only thing he could do now. He couldn't go back to Japan, now when the entire country mourned his father's death while he knew the truth. He had no purpose in life anymore, aside from finding Lelouch. Then maybe he would earn the right to make amends for what his father had done.

Suzaku froze as Lelouch shifted against him, watching as the young man out of the corner of his eye. Lelouch would be out of his hands as soon as they landed in England. Gino and Kallen would introduce Lelouch to his mother and sister while Suzaku went back to the barracks. The only thing that he had to look forward to was the request he would make.

Lelouch muttered something in his sleep, Suzaku tensing as Lelouch grabbed onto his wrist. He shivered as the pads of Lelouch's fingers slid against his wrist.

That was another reason to stay away.

The therapist assigned to the barrack had told him repeatedly that his attraction to Lelouch was something that he had made up. It was a combination of his unhealthy obsession with finding Lelouch and the feelings associated with their friendship. Suzaku wasn't quite sure that he believed her.

He knew that he had loved Lelouch as a friend, but he had never gotten the chance to see if it would have been something more. Suzaku had always been nice to Lelouch's sisters and the girls that his father had been considering for him and a handful of them had caught his attention completely. Euphemia was one, even now he was still in awe of her and her ability to get things done while pretending to be completely naïve.

The problem was that, even as a child, Lelouch had commanded so much of his attention. Lelouch had even held his version of court, gathering his friends and those that he trusted around him and lavishing them with his attention. The most dangerous and addicting thing was that the affection had been genuine, not faked or forced like the true court. It had been Lelouch's place to be his true self with special attention paid to Lelouch's sisters and Suzaku, which had meant that Suzaku was always by Lelouch's side as his preferred companion. And somehow, despite Lelouch's compulsion to be in charge, things had worked. Suzaku was allowed to be himself and not watch that he wasn't as smart as he should have been or that he was a bit goofy.

It had been nice.

Suzaku was more willing to believe that these feelings for Lelouch had been there all along instead of the therapist's explanation. He had been playing knight to Lelouch for so long that he didn't know how to exist otherwise. Despite the fact that he had know Lelouch would have protested, he had become a soldier because he wanted to save people. He had seen enough death on the night he had killed his father to last him a lifetime.

He shifted carefully, making sure that Lelouch wouldn't fall off his shoulder. As much as he didn't want to get attached too fast and without proof, he wanted to believe in something, he wanted to have something resembling hope. Suzaku smiled as he felt Lelouch move closer to him, the fingers around his wrist tightening. Suzaku rolled his eyes, leaning his cheek against the top of Lelouch's head.

He had never been able to resist Lelouch, not even when he tried. When they had first met they had hated each other, and yet, they had still become friends.

Suzaku sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm going to do it, aren't I?" He kept his voice to a whisper, keeping the words between Lelouch and himself. "I'm going to charge in without a plan and hate myself for it later. I should have stayed away."

He should taken the seat next to Gino when Kallen had put up a half hearted struggle, then he wouldn't have been close, wouldn't have been falling. This Lelouch was good looking enough, but Suzaku was imagining his Lelouch's personality along with that. Suzaku shivered and clenched his eyes more tightly shut. He was every inch the idiot that everyone called him. He could already tell that this was going to end badly, but he couldn't stop himself either way.

* * *

><p>Gino stretched his arms over his head as he walked back to where the others were sitting. They still had another few hours left in their layover and Gino was inclined to leave the others to their business. Lelouch had looked completely content to read the hours away and Suzaku looked happy enough where he was.<p>

Gino was seriously contemplating pulling Kallen away to one of the restaurants in the airport to attempt a date or a little alone time for the two of them. Suzaku would guard Lelouch and keep him from wandering off; they could trust him on that. He would make it up to Suzaku later although, judging by the way Suzaku and Lelouch had been leaning against each other earlier, Suzaku wouldn't mind being left alone with him.

He paused as he phone rang. Gino stepped to the wall and opened his phone, staring at the caller ID. He couldn't think of a reason that Nunnally would call them unless something had happened and Gino hadn't heard anything on the news recently. He shrugged to himself and flipped the phone open. "Princess?"

"Gino? Where have you been?"

"On an airplane. My phone's been off because of that." Gino glanced around. "I'm in an airport in Germany at the moment on our way back from Japan. Do I need to pull rank to get back faster?

"No." Gino relaxed, relieved that there wasn't an emergency. He leaned back against the wall, listening as Nunnally continued to speak. "Nothing more than a visit from Euphy and Cornelia."

"I'm sorry I'll be missing them."

"They're going to be here for a while." Nunnally cleared her throat. "But I have new orders for the three of you, but it may be easier now that you're on your way home."

"New orders?"

"We're stopping the search for Lelouch. I honestly don't think that my mother can take any more disappointment. I can't either. I don't want this to sound horrible but…"

"It's been ten years." Gino swallowed before pushing away from the wall and waling back towards where the others were. "I understand. I'll pass on the orders."

"Thank you Gino. I'm sorry to send you out and then call you back like this."

Gino nodded, slipping into the waiting area. "Don't worry about it, my lady. But I think you should know that-"

The call dropped, Gino pulling the phone away from his ear and staring at it, hissing when he realized that it was dead. He pushed his phone into his pocket. He would borrow Kallen's phone to call Nunnally, but not before talking with Kallen. They had to figure out what they would do with Lelouch with these new orders.

He walked over to where Kallen was sitting, flopping down with a long sigh. Kallen just glanced at him before elbowing him in the side. "Would you look at that?"

Gino glanced over at Suzaku and Lelouch, watching the two of them talk. Suzaku was leaning close to Lelouch and smiling. Gino tipped his head to the side, jumping when Kallen elbowed him again.

"I've never seen Suzaku act like this. You'd think that they've know each other forever." Kallen laughed. "Still, do you think that we should keep them apart?"

"Why?"

"If this doesn't work out he'll be crushed." Kallen rolled her eyes. "I've known Suzaku longer than you have and he'll keep doing this to himself, getting his hopes up and then crushed. I don't want to have to try to talk him down from something stupid. Damn it, he deserves to be a knight just so he could have something to do."

Gino shook his head and gestured at his pocket. "Princess Nunnally just called." Kallen sat up at that, Gino raising an eyebrow when she tried to talk. "It was nothing bad, just new orders. We've done hunting for Lelouch."

"But…but we're bringing this guy back!"

Gino winced and grabbed her arm. He looked over at Suzaku, not surprised that Suzaku was aware of them despite his focus on Lelouch. Gino gave Suzaku a wave before pulling Kallen away. Suzaku nodded slowly and turned his full attention back to Lelouch. Satisfied, Gino led Kallen to a safe distance.

He came to a stop in line for one of the fast food restaurants, Kallen coming to lean on his arm. She smiled up at him. "Explain faster, I hate having to play innocent and cute."

"And I prefer it when you are threatening me." Gino patted her arm. "I didn't get a chance to tell Nunnally about our Lelouch, my phone died. But I don't think that it will change our orders."

"So, what now?"

"We bring him along." Gino shook his head at the shocked look that Kallen gave him. "We can't just send him back to Japan after this."

"You can't believe that he's the lost prince."

"I never said that. I just think we would give him a chance." Gino shrugged. "He fits most of the criteria."

"So we just give him a chance?" Kallen huffed, turning her attention to the menus hanging over the counter. "Do you know how impossible that it will be now? Nunnally won't see him."

"So we plan." Gino let the conversation drop as they stepped up to the counter.

He let Kallen order for the both of them, giving her an annoyed glare when she gestured for him to pay. Gino thought about giving her a playful shove in revenge, but thought better of it. She was carrying the food after all. Without a chance for retribution, Gino just trailed her to a table, poking listlessly at his food.

They sat in silence for a while, Kallen pausing in the middle of raising a forkful of pasta to her mouth. She dropped the fork back into her plate, leaning her cheek on her hand. "So do you have a plan or will you just depend on me to come up with something?"

"Well, I was going to resort to charm and persistence to get that interview."

Kallen snorted. "That won't work. We'll be as bad as those imposters. No." She reached out and poked his arm. "Here's the plan. You tell the princess what we have and convince her to grant us an interview on her terms."

"But she'll never grant us that. When Nunnally makes up her mind there's nothing we can do to change it. Besides, it was an order."

"As if you have ever just followed orders." Kallen grimaced and took a sip of her drink. "Besides, you could just charm her, you're good at that."

Gino stared at Kallen, slowly shaking his head. "I would, but this is Nunnally we're talking about. She's the only one that can send me on guilt trips."

Kallen rubbed her forehead. "Then I guess that it just comes down to if you believe that Lelouch deserves a chance. Even if he isn't the prince we were sent out to find, he has enough of the hallmarks of royal blood to be considered for testing. Lady Marianne and the other wives have made their stance about illegitimate children clear. They don't care about the circumstances of their birth they just want to make sure that the royal family doesn't die out completely. Lady Marianne did take in Rolo."

"So, we pass him off as an illegitimate child?"

"If we have to." Kallen considered her pasta before making a face. "We'll bow to Nunnally's orders not to bring another Lelouch, not until she gives us the go ahead. Until then, you will convince her to have the interview and we'll have the chance to show off our find." She took another bite of her food, pointing her fork at Gino. "And we'll keep our promise to Lelouch."

Gino chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. "What would we do without you?"

"Well, you would be flirting your way through the barracks. And Suzaku would be…" She trailed off, glancing back towards where they had left Suzaku and Lelouch. "Is he just going to keep looking if we've proven wrong?"

"Probably." Gino made a face. "He's not going to stop until he finds Lelouch. His determination is admirable."

"Or a concerning kind of obsession." Kallen shook her head. "He'll keep going until he dies and it's destroying him."

"Is this one of those pre-Schneizel Britannia hatred things?"

"No. This is a worrying about my friend thing." Kallen pushed her plate away, reaching up to adjust her headband. "He was my only friend when I came to Lady Marianne and he's still the only one that really believes that I got this position on my own instead of relying on my father. And what has he done to make his situation better?"

"Kallen, you know it isn't like that."

"Then what is it?" Kallen leaned across the table, glaring at him. "I know he wants to be Lelouch's knight, but what if that never happens? Will he just allow himself to slip quietly away?"

"That might be the best, from a political stance." Gino sighed as Kallen sat up straight. For all her brilliance in strategy Kallen still didn't quite grasp political situations fully. "Listen, Japan doesn't want him; it reminds them of the attack that nearly cost them their freedom. Britannia, speaking as a country, doesn't want him either, because of what his father did. Individually, Suzaku could probably live safely with Marianne or in Schneizel's court."

"But he doesn't want to."

"No. He wants to slip quietly away." Gino reached out to grab her hand, hoping that Kallen would take the comfort instead of resisting. To his relief, her shoulders slumped slightly. "Suzaku isn't meant for making huge political statements like you are."

"He hates himself."

Gino could only nod. They both knew the official story of what happened to Suzaku which was just a dry sequence of events. That said nothing about how Suzaku felt about what had happened, and Gino didn't want to push.

Kallen sat back with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest. "At least we know what to do with our little project. We still need to figure out Suzaku."

"Keep him close." Gino shrugged. "What else can we do? I doubt that either of us could keep him away. And he seems happy enough now."

"So, fuel his obsession?"

"Maybe this will get it to stop." Gino draped one arm over the back of his chair. "He's probably torn between believing and holding back right now, and it won't help that everyone thinks that he's a lost cause."

Kallen shook her head. "You're going to have to deal with the fallout."

"Don't I always?" Gino smiled. "Now, I'm going to watch over the rest of the group. You call Nunnally and report everything, except for the fact that we think that we found Lelouch. Give me time to think of a way to speak to her about it."

Gino rose and gathered their trash, pausing when Kallen reached out to grab his wrist. "Do you think that he's Lelouch?"

"To be honest, I don't know, but I'm optimistic. If you think that it's him, then I'd be willing to believe you, because you're the steadiest out of all of us."

"Really?" Kallen laughed. "Then we're in trouble. I still haven't talked to my mother in years because…Well, we're in trouble."

Gino smiled at her, taking the trash and leaving her at the table. She would come back when she was done. He gave Kallen one last glance over his shoulder before tucking his hands into his pockets and walking back towards Suzaku and Lelouch.

Now that Kallen had been brought up to date he felt more confident. He wasn't the best at planning ahead; he never had to do it until his father had kicked him out of the house. He had always assumed that he would have the protection of the Weinberg family and a good supply of money. Being a knight to Lady Marianne had taught him better, but he was still secure no matter what happened. He was the heir to the Weinberg family, so there was always a place for him.

Kallen had more of an incentive to succeed than him. Not only was she supporting her mother but she was coping with the pressure of being the most popular person in Japan at the moment. Kallen had shown the world that relying on a noble name was not the only was to become a knight. Her noble father had only tried to claim her as his own when she had been knighted.

Gino slowed down as he approached the waiting area, surprised to see Suzaku and Lelouch laughing about something. Gino tipped his head to the side, fighting back a smile.

This was the happiest he had seen Suzaku, and he didn't want that to change. Gino respected Suzaku's desire to remain invisible, but worried about what that would mean in the end. At least now he looked alive for once, and Gino was willing to do anything to keep Suzaku that way.


	5. Chapter 4: And Bring Me Home

**Chapter Four: And Bring Me Home**

Suzaku was nervous the entire flight to England, trying to stop himself from moving too much in his seat. It was obvious that Gino and Kallen were up to something. They had kept to themselves once the two of them had gotten back from lunch. They had told him that they had already reported in and he didn't need to. On all other missions he had been on, with or without Gino and Kallen, Nunnally had expected a report on he phone while Marianne had wanted a report in person. He had been told that he wasn't to do either.

To make matters more suspicious, there was no sign of a royal presence as they landed in Heathrow, just the usual bustle of the airport. Suzaku looked over at Gino and Kallen, not surprised when they continued to hurry along. He kept his mouth shut as they made their way through the airport, sticking close to Lelouch.

He barely managed to keep himself quiet when they walked out of the airport to find two cars. He recognized the blonde leaning on one of the cars, the one that Kallen was guiding him and Lelouch to. Suzaku turned in time to see Gino getting into the other one. "Kallen…"

"Later."

He was shoved into the car, Lelouch scrambling in after him. Kallen claimed the other window seat while Milly sat up by the driver. She immediately turned around to face them, grinning as the car began to pull away from Heathrow.

Kallen breathed out a relieved sigh as soon as they were out in traffic. "Thanks for picking us up on such short notice Milly."

"No problem. It seemed like an ideal situation to get myself into." Suzaku tensed as she turned to stare at Lelouch. "And it looks like I've backed the right horse here. He's a dead ringer."

"What's going on?" Lelouch's carefully controlled tone of voice made Suzaku flinch.

Milly and Kallen didn't seem to be affected at all. Milly just smiled. "Apparently there's been a bit of a snag. Gino is going to work it out now while we wait it out."

"What kind of snag?" Suzaku glanced at Kallen.

"Nunnally has ordered all searches for Prince Lelouch stopped."

"What?" Suzaku twisted in his seat, resting his hand on Lelouch's arm when Lelouch turned.

Kallen just shrugged. "Those were her orders, but we were already returning. Gino is going to see what the circumstances would be to get an interview despite the order."

"And what do I do until then?"

Kallen turned her attention to Lelouch. "You'll be a guest of Milly Ashford and you will try to remember something that will be impressive enough for them to believe you."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"We'll pass you off as an illegitimate child of one of the dead princes, which wouldn't be too hard." Kallen stared at Lelouch, Suzaku automatically leaning close to him. "I doubt that a DNA test would fail to prove that you have some Britannian blood in you."

Milly leaned further back towards them. "He already has the eyes and the facial structure. There's a good chance that he is related to the Britannian royal family, maybe through one of the minor princes."

Suzaku looked warily at Lelouch. They had promised him that they would find something out about his past, but they had never promised to prove that he really was the lost prince. But it had been heavily implied. And part of Suzaku had already started to believe that Lelouch _was_ the lost prince, despite all of his attempts otherwise. After all of their promises, it felt like just being proved illegitimate was a let down.

Lelouch was playing with the gold chain around his neck, the charm at the end still hidden under the neck of his turtleneck. Lelouch glanced over at him briefly before looking out the window, watching the street as they continued to drive through London traffic. He finally shook his head, meeting Suzaku's gaze. "I don't care how it is done; I just want to remember something."

"And we intend to uphold our end of the bargain." Kallen exchanged glances with Milly. "It just might be a more roundabout way to go about it."

Lelouch finally nodded, Milly giving an excited cheer. The blonde pushed herself back in her seat, Suzaku catching glimpses of the back of her hands as she gestured. "Well then, I'll start training you to act the part until you're granted an audience with Lady Marianne. You'll need them anyway no matter what."

"Will there be a test?"

"Of course. If you can't act the part, how will you convince them?" Milly chuckled. "If we want to make this work, we need to make sure that you give them a good impression. And I expect that Gino and the others will be taking you around town to try and catch Nunnally and Lady Marianne."

Kallen leaned forward. "And you'll help?"

Milly waved her hand in a dismissive motion. "I sat in on most of the questioning sessions, so I know most of the questions. Filling him in on the history won't be too hard."

She launched into a detailed description of the questions, Kallen paying close attention.

Suzaku knew he should have been paying attention too, but he found himself watching Lelouch. Lelouch was playing with the chain again, alternating between looking out the windows to watching the two women. He finally turned to Suzaku, scooting a little closer. "I'm guessing that the Ashford estate isn't in London."

"No, it's outside London, about twenty-three miles outside actually. It's very close to Windsor Castle, where Nunnally and Marianne are staying." Lelouch frowned, Suzaku chuckling at the expression. "Don't worry, the Ashford estate and Windsor aren't as big as you think that are. They just tend to…sprawl."

"Ah." Lelouch gave a nervous laugh. "And that's supposed to be calming?"

"Yeah."

Lelouch shook his head. "I'm expected to memorize chunks of royal history and the layouts of two large houses. Is there a simple place where I can hide?"

"Well, there's the townhouse. It's almost never used."

"It's being used now." Milly broke off her conversation with Kallen to address them. "Princess Cornelia and her fiancée, Sir Guilford, are using it while they visit Lady Marianne. Lady Marianne offered it to them as a retreat while they are here. The current gossip says that Empress Evelina disapproves of this marriage completely."

Suzaku tensed at the mention of the empress, looking over at Kallen. Evelina was less than pleased that Marianne employed Japanese guards, she preferred Britannians. In fact, she preferred Britannians for most jobs. Suzaku was sure that Evelina would be annoyed more so than usual because she wouldn't be the empress much longer, not with the way the emancipation of the Areas was going.

He cleared his throat. "How much time do we have before she comes?"

"Oh, she isn't coming here." Milly twisted in her seat. "There's something going on in Pendragon about Princess Cornelia's wedding. Emperor Schneizel is pushing for a ceremony in Pendragon while Princess Cornelia wants to have a private ceremony here. Until that's settled, no one is going anywhere.

"But, if everything does go Cornelia's way, the empress would arrive a week before the wedding to spend time with the nobility here and to find all of the places where Schneizel and Kanon could hide from her."

Suzaku looked back over at Lelouch, hesitating before beginning to explain. "Empress Evelina is one of those who believed in Emperor Charles' claims that Britannians were a superior race and that it was destiny for Britannia to grow. She was quieter when before Schneizel became emperor. Now she can't stop pushing her views onto Schneizel's politics."

Lelouch looked disgusted. "Why doesn't he get rid of her?"

"Besides the important family ties that came from the marriage?" Milly turned to look at them. "Because he doesn't want to cause trouble within the empire, but that could change at any moment. At least Schneizel got an heir out of the marriage."

Suzaku watched Lelouch carefully. Lelouch was frowning, like he was trying to take in the information or trying to remember something, Suzaku wasn't sure which. He did know that, aside from Nunnally and Euphemia, his Lelouch had been close to Schneizel. Of course, the two of them had been closer to rivals than friendly, but it was one of the closer bonds in the Britannian family. To Suzaku, it didn't look like Lelouch remembered anything.

He slumped in his seat, turning to stare at the window. He just tipped his head slightly when Milly spoke to him.

"You'll have the better excuse Suzaku. You'll be with a guest the entire time." Suzaku tensed, Milly not noticing his discomfort. "You're the only one I could get for the job since Kallen and Gino are specifically assigned to Marianne. Besides, Nunnally thought that it would be good for you to rest after this."

Suzaku bit back his annoyed reply, dropping his gaze to the floor. Nunnally would try to protect him from her decision and wait to tell him. She was probably expecting him to disobey orders and go on searches on his own. And the worst part was that he would never be called in for disciplinary action. He reached up to rub at his neck, stopping when Lelouch grabbed his arm, giving it a squeeze. When he looked, he found that Lelouch was looking confused instead of angry.

Lelouch quickly jerked his hand away. He looked away, contemplating the floor. Suzaku swallowed and returned his gaze to the window. He tried not to turn his head as Lelouch spoke up. "So, what's the plan?"

"We wait for Gino's report from our ally within the household. We'll probably need them when we introduce you or start convincing them that you are the lost prince." Suzaku looked over just in time to see Kallen shoot him a worried look.

That look kept him on edge for the remainder of the ride to the Ashford estate, carefully keeping himself from looking at Kallen. By the end of the ride, Lelouch was pressed up against him, peering out of the window. When the car rolled to a stop, Lelouch quickly scooted away from him and scrambled out of the car.

Suzaku was slow to get out, stretching before looking back towards where Windsor was. He flinched and turned towards the Ashford mansion, trailing behind the group as they headed toward the door, Milly already launching into the tour for Lelouch. Lelouch glanced back at him once before he was dragged off to the front entrance.

Kallen grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the side entrance. Suzaku wanted to protest but stopped at the look on Kallen's face. He sighed and allowed himself to be dragged away, surprised when Kallen didn't pull him all the way into the house.

She dropped his arm with a sigh. "This is your chance to pout."

"I'm not going to. I just want to know what is going on."

"You already know. Nunnally gave the order and we're trying to get around it. I thought that you would be happy to get to stay with Lelouch."

"A way to keep me quiet?"

"Listen." Kallen reached out for him, pulling back at the last minute. "I don't agree with this, but Gino convinced me. If you want to believe that this is the lost prince, fine. If you want to just think that this is you doing your duty, fine. I don't care what you do. Your orders are to stay here and help this Lelouch, unless you would rather deal with Princess Euphemia."

Suzaku blanched, looking away. Kallen awkwardly patted his arm. "I thought so. Just stay here then, I'll let Gino handle the princesses. Just…try to be happy. I'm sick of you moping around."

Kallen turned to walk away, Suzaku stopping her by grabbing her shoulder. "Shouldn't you warn me about not getting too attached?"

"It's not my job to look after you. I do care, but you're old enough to take care of yourself. If you want to believe that it's Lelouch, then go ahead."

Suzaku let his hand drop from her shoulder. "Do you think that it's Lelouch? The real Lelouch?"

Kallen sighed, shaking her head. "I've seen a lot of the imposters; I've kicked out most of them. The man we brought with us is the closest to the pictures of Lelouch as a child and he does look like Marianne. I don't know if he's really Lelouch, but that close resemblance has to count for something. But, in the end, I think the only thing that matters is if _you_ think he's Lelouch. You knew Lelouch better than any of us."

She shrugged and walked away. Suzaku watched her go for a moment before turning and walking back into the kitchen, making his way to the main hall. He didn't get the chance to brood over the information that he had been given, Milly bustling toward him.

Milly grabbed him by his arm and started pulling him towards the stairs. "I already gave Lelouch a room and I want to get you settled before he decides to start wandering. He looks like he's about to bolt."

"And I'm keeping track of him."

"Well you are his…protector." She flinched and spoke quickly to cover up her slip up. "And you seem to be the only one that he seems comfortable with. It only seems fair to keep him close to someone he knows after everything, not that it's your fault."

Suzaku sighed and allowed himself to be pulled down the hall, stepping back as Milly threw open the door to a room, gesturing at it. He glanced at her before stepping inside, forcing himself not to look amazed. His life had been spent in small rooms, from the cell that his father's councilors had kept him in to his room in the barracks. He could barely remember his room in the Kururugi Shrine, just a vague memory of the sun coming in through the window and hitting the wooden floor. He swallowed, reaching up to tap his fingers against his collarbone as he stepped further into the room. He preferred not to think about anything related to his past, because it would just lead back to that small cell somewhere in Japan.

He stepped further into the room, barely hearing Milly shut the door. Suzaku paused to rest a hand on his luggage, rooting around in his carry on bag to pull out the pin. He checked it over carefully, running his finger over the delicate wings before slipping it into his pocket out of habit.

Sure that his most prized possession was safe, Suzaku walked around the room, noting the view from the windows and the clear path to the door. He had never been able to shake the habit of looking for escape routes and safe places to hide his charges if he had to fight; it was too firmly entrenched in his mind. The room passed as defensible, which allowed Suzaku to turn his attention to the bed for a moment. It was far better than his cot in the barracks, Suzaku not sure that he would be able to sleep on something that looked so comfortable.

He walked over to it, running his hand over the bed spread. Normally he wouldn't have been housed in rooms like these; he would have been on the ground floor. Suzaku smiled to himself, looking up and freezing at the sight of a door in the wall. He moved around the bed to get to it, resting a hand on the door. Knowing Milly, Lelouch was just on the other side.

Suzaku jerked his hand back quickly, swallowing. His situation was too much like a knight to his lord for his comfort. A knight would get a room adjoining his lord's or sleep in the sitting room if they were staying in a suite. He resisted the urge to touch the pin in his pocket, turning away from the door and going to sit in one of the chairs. He wasn't a knight, not yet.

There was a time that he'd had the chance to be one, a month after Gino and Kallen had been knighted. Suzaku leaned forward and ran a hand over his face. He had been so lonely in that month, his only two friends gone more often than not and an awkward gap opened between them. It wasn't that the others in the barracks had treated him badly; none of them were close to Suzaku as they were all older guards. So he had spent most of his time watching over Nunnally and Euphemia, who was staying for that summer.

He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face at the thought of Euphemia. He preferred to remember her how she was in the early days of that summer, all smiles and her hair refusing to stay in its buns as she worked in the gardens with Nunnally or went out riding with her sister. That was the Euphemia he wanted to think about, the one that he had felt comfortable with, the one that was almost like the beautiful princess that he remembered from his childhood. For almost one summer, he had almost been able to forget Lelouch.

For almost one summer, he had started to fall in love.

Suzaku tipped his head back and closed his eyes, not surprised when his thoughts turned to what happened after that summer.

There had been a riot, the people protesting the closeness that England was settling into with Britannia. The English people had been alright with the Britannian royal family taken up residence in some of the castles that they had owned before Napoleon had taken London and the royalty had fled. It was the fear of becoming the next Area that had urged them to riot, despite the fact that Schneizel had assured them that no such thing was happening.

And Euphemia, beautiful, caring Euphemia, had gone out to try and calm their fears.

Suzaku clenched his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. There were so many things that could have gone wrong, he should have been thankful that it had just ended up with Euphemia breaking her leg. But what he remembered more than the outcome was the panic as he had fought through the crowd to his princess' side and standing over her as the crowd pushed around them, realizing that he had failed to protect her from harm.

Euphemia had wanted to reward him by making him her personal knight, but he had refused on two grounds. One, that he had been unable to completely protect her, that he had allowed the crowd to get between the two of them and hurt her. Two, he still considered himself bound by Lelouch's promise, despite the fact that Euphemia had pointed out that Lelouch was probably dead. It had just been an attempt to ease him away from a promise that had never been fulfilled; Euphemia would have never had it in her to trick him into accepting the position. But his conscious had never allowed it.

The final weeks of the summer had been filled with icy silence between the two of them, Euphemia cooped up because of her broken leg and Suzaku going over every moment of his failure. Then, when he had analyzed it to the best of his efforts, he had gone over the rest of the summer and came to a stunning conclusion. While he had started to fall in love with Euphemia he had been comparing her to Lelouch.

That had been enough guilt to encourage him to work harder to keep him away from Euphemia. He still remembered her from their childhood, and he didn't want to define her by how she compared to her older brother.

Suzaku rubbed a hand over his face, staring at the wall across from him. Rehashing over the details wouldn't get him anywhere; it would just remind him of his guilt. Suzaku sighed and stood up, intending to begin to check the hallway, when there was a knock on his door.

He got out of his chair and strode over to the door, opening it slowly and expecting it to be flung open in his face. When it didn't, Suzaku assumed that it wasn't Milly. He felt himself relax more at that, not sure if he was willing to face Milly again so soon. Suzaku opened the door all the way, smiling as he saw Lelouch standing in the doorway.

Lelouch returned the smile cautiously, peeking into the room. Suzaku stepped back to allow Lelouch to see the room better, surprised when he immediately saw the door. "So that's where that leads. Am I to expect some sort of visits in the middle of the night?"

Suzaku's first reaction was to blush. He shook his head, clearing his throat. "Ah, no. Probably not. Just keep your side unlocked in case-"

"In case someone comes after me." Lelouch smiled at him, taking a step back. "Which means that you're playing the guard for me. You don't have to, you know. I'm not important."

"Yet." The response surprised Suzaku as much as it seemed to surprise Lelouch. Suzaku licked his lips and leaned against the door. "If you are…a prince, you have to get used to someone hovering around all the time. Consider this another lesson."

Lelouch gave him a long, speculative look. "As long as I'm not tripping over you."

"I'm not that bad."

"I'd rather decide that for myself."

Suzaku grinned and took a step back. "I'll leave you to that then, your highness."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth Suzaku knew that he had made a mistake. Lelouch's smirk disappeared and he took a step back. Suzaku swallowed, tightening his hand around the edge of the door. He waited for the rebuff that would follow, surprised when Lelouch just turned around and walked down the hallway.

Suzaku couldn't gather the courage to watch him go; instead choosing to close the door and walk back to his chair. He should have known better than to push too fast. He sunk down into the chair, rubbing his hands over his face. It would be hard to remember that he couldn't just settle into the easy banter that he had shared with Lelouch before. It was probably intimidating to this Lelouch. It was just another rule to be added to the growing list in his head. Suzaku groaned, dropping his hands to the arm rests.

For now, he would let Lelouch get acquainted with the house, on his own for today but Suzaku would accompany him later. He would not relent on the issue of him shadowing Lelouch, Lelouch would just have to get used to it. Suzaku reached for the pin in his pocket, jerking his hand away quickly. He wouldn't interact with Lelouch more than he had to, he didn't want to scare Lelouch off again at the wrong moment.

He sighed and glanced back at the door, part of him wishing that Lelouch would come back so he could apologize. But just wishing things wouldn't make them come true, he had learned that early on. One could only wish for so long.

* * *

><p>Lelouch walked quickly down the hallway, playing with the chain around his neck. He barely paid attention to where he was going, just paying attention to the texture of the chain in through his fingers. He hadn't meant to trigger a memory, and he was sure that Suzaku hadn't either. Lelouch didn't know what would trigger a memory; it could a simple phrase or just looking at a building. Sometimes the memories were frustratingly small, just the sound of someone's voice or a vague feeling that he had been in a place before.<p>

He had resigned himself to the fact that everything would not come back to him in one big flash of insight. That was the stuff of fantasy. But it didn't stop him from wishing that it would happen.

Lelouch wandered down into the main hall, glancing around as he tried to remember what Milly had told him as she had dragged him to his room. He swallowed and chose a door, hoping that it would lead somewhere quiet. He was lucky that he found the library.

Lelouch let his shoulders slump as he moved toward one of the chairs, finally untangling his fingers from the golden chain. He ran his hands over his face, trying to process what had triggered the memory. It had been something in the conversation, something small that he had almost missed when it had been said. Lelouch sighed, letting his hands drop to the armrests of the chair and closed his eyes.

What he had gotten was nothing important, just a fragment of a conversation. There hadn't even been a memory of voices, just the words and a bit of an emotion.

"_Is that an order_, your highness_?"_

"_Don't mock me!"_

"_Why not? You make fun of me!"_

"_I do not."_

"_You do! You're always calling me stupid."_

"_Because you are."_

"_Just because I'm not as smart as you doesn't mean anything!"_

"_Well that just proves how little you know."_

"_Shut up! You don't know anything because you're just a spoiled brat!"_

"_And you're just a worthless commoner!"_

And then there had been a punch. Lelouch absently rubbed his jaw, glancing back toward the door. From all of that he had learned that he had been a spoiled brat as a child, something that made him smile slightly. At least that was something.

He drummed his fingers against the arm rest. He was under orders to remain here and try to remember what he could. Lelouch chuckled, pushing away from the chair to walk along the shelves. He hand a hand over the spines of the books, picking one at random. He just wanted something to distract himself from pushing for more out of the memory. He learned that his first impressions were usually the right ones.

Lelouch flipped aimlessly through the book, leaning against the shelves as he stared at the words on the page, not reading them at all.

"Trying to get ahead?"

He jumped at the sound of someone's voice, turning around to see Milly standing inside of the library. Lelouch shook his head, sliding the book back in place. "Trying not to get lost."

"Or trying to lose your guard." Lelouch frowned, Milly seeming to take that as disgust. She moved further into the room. "Suzaku really isn't that bad. He's probably the best one of the bunch. Gino would talk your ear off and I think you and Kallen would end up arguing all of the time."

"That's not it."

"Ah, then it's something else." She leaned forward, staring at his face for a moment before rocking back onto her heels. "We'll find that out soon enough."

Lelouch hid his shiver, not sure how to react to that statement. He turned his attention back to the shelves, aware that Milly was trailing after him as he made his way around the room. He didn't expect Milly to leave him to his silence for long, and he wasn't disappointed.

"So, tell me about yourself." Lelouch turned his head to look at her. Milly just smiled. "I have to know what I'm working with."

"Shouldn't that wait until we have approval for an interview?"

Milly waved his concern off. "They'll probably ask some standard questions and you should know the answers well before hand so you can say them confidently. That will leave you time to figure out what you can do to impress them."

Lelouch raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. "Fine. I was found when I was eight, wandering around Tokyo. I was taken to an orphanage. I don't remember why I was wandering or anything after that first day I woke up in the orphanage. There were four other Britannian children that came in on the same day and more trickled in over the next few days, ones that were lost in the panic after the murder of the royal family. All those who didn't have a name or couldn't remember their name were named after the dead members of the royal family."

"And you got Lelouch?"

"There was another Lelouch, but he was younger." He shrugged. "I stayed there until three days ago. I was told that someone would meet me, which they never did."

"And you just fell in with those three?" Lelouch nodded, surprised when Milly seemed content with that answer. She turned to the bookshelves, pulling out a book and flipping through it. Lelouch took a step back, watching her carefully. Milly didn't seem to notice or she didn't mind, continuing to page through the book. "Interesting. Well, from what you have there's evidence that you could be the lost prince. But, as you said, every Britannian in Japan panicked that night. So there's a chance that you're still some noble's child."

Lelouch shrugged. He wasn't sure how he felt about being identified as a noble's child or one of the illegitimate children of the royal family. There was a part of him that wouldn't settle for anything less than the lost prince, but the chances of that were slim. The fact that Princess Nunnally would need convincing from loyal knights of the family didn't bode well for him. It would be better if he accustomed himself to settling for less.

"Here." Lelouch jumped as Milly suddenly shoved a book into his hands. He turned it over to look at the title, nearly dropping it as Milly shoved two more into his arms. "Your first homework assignment. And I expect you to complete it. I won't accept slacking from you."

He stared at the books, raising his eyebrow when he saw that they were mostly history books, one etiquette book slipped in among the rest. Lelouch laughed, tucking the books under his arm. "What is this, the Ashford Academy?"

"No. That's a private school a few miles away from here run by my grandfather. This is Milly's Prince Academy." She winked and walked out of the room.

Lelouch sighed, shifting the books under his arm before glancing upstairs. He could hide in the library and read the books Milly had given him; he didn't have anything better to do. Or, he could return to his room where he knew that no one would bother him, save Suzaku.

He rolled his eyes and walked back to his room. He had spent most of his childhood alone, mostly of his own choice. There were few chances to make friends and Lelouch hadn't been the friendliest, he had been too busy trying to regain his memories or trying to keep himself distracted, always on his own. He didn't have that luxury anymore, not if he was going to take this chance seriously. Now he would have to get used to having people around at all times, especially one hovering close to him, but he found that he didn't mind if it was Suzaku. He wasn't quite comfortable around Suzaku, but it was the closest thing to comfort that he had.

Lelouch passed Suzaku's room, not surprised to see the door closed. He shrugged to himself, stepping into his own room and shutting the door. He doubted that Milly would be coming to see them again; she was probably busy with her own business. And, from what he had heard in the car, he figured that Gino and Kallen would be busy with their tasks.

He dropped the books onto his bed, staring at the history ones warily. The orphanage had kept a few teachers on staff for the sake of the children. To his knowledge, Lelouch had at least a rudimentary high school education from them. It would have been enough to serve him in a simple job, but Lelouch probably would have worked for the rest of his life just to remain comfortable, something that he would have preferred not to do.

He sighed and picked up the books, setting them on the nightstand. Lelouch took one over to one of the chairs in the room, hesitating before walking over to the door that led to Suzaku's room. Suzaku had asked him to keep the door between their rooms unlocked, for his own safety. Lelouch smiled to himself, shaking his head as he unlocked the door. He was sure that he would have Suzaku in the room soon enough. Suzaku would probably search his room every night. He seemed the kind to take his job seriously.

Lelouch went back to his chair, pausing when he heard Suzaku moving around in the room next to him. He expected Suzaku to come through the door. Instead, he just heard the lock clink as Suzaku unlocked the door on his side, but that was it. Lelouch gave the door a speculative look before going back to his books, tracing his fingers over the cover. Apparently he hadn't completely figured Suzaku out, the idea making him smile. That made him less nervous about his interest in Suzaku. He just wanted to know about the man who would be guarding him.

It was an easier idea to accept than believing that he was just drawn to Suzaku.

* * *

><p>Gino bowed when he entered the sitting room, smiling as he heard Euphemia laugh. He glanced up, waiting for her signal before standing. Gino crossed the room, taking the seat that Euphemia gestured to, shaking his head when she offered him food. "As much as I'd like to, I'm on business."<p>

"Surely that can wait for a moment. I haven't seen you in a long time, Gino, not since…" She frowned and shook her head. "Well, since I did something foolish and broke my leg. How is Suzaku, Gino? Really."

Gino swallowed. He hadn't expected Euphemia to ask about Suzaku so soon, but he should have. Euphemia was probably still in love with him. Gino shifted in his seat, looking anywhere but her. "Still the same, still looking for Lelouch."

"Still obsessed with it?"

"Yes."

Euphemia laughed sadly. "I had hoped…but they were always so close when they were children, so it makes sense." She cleared her throat. "And you and Kallen?"

"Fine and as happy as ever."

"Good. Good."

Gino watched her carefully. Euphemia was more fidgety than usual, meaning that she still had a lot on her mind. It wouldn't be too far fetched to guess that she was still thinking about Suzaku. He felt a little guilty for not lying to her about him. But it was probably easier to just get Euphemia used to the idea that Suzaku had liked her, never loved her.

He cleared his throat, scooting forward slightly in his chair. Going straight to business now would probably be too much, a reminder that she could be losing Suzaku forever. There was no question in anyone's mind that Suzaku would be knighted by Lelouch, if Lelouch was found. If Lelouch was still alive. Instead, it was better to just try and cheer Euphemia up again. That was his job in this venture in the end, to charm the princesses over to their side.

"So, I heard that Cornelia is finally getting married."

"Yes." Euphemia pushed her bangs out of her eyes, a fond smile replacing the sad one. "Their wedding is coming up at the end of the month. Cornelia tried to get it to be a small private affair here, but Schneizel said that it would be better to have it in Pendragon to show that the royal family is still as strong as ever. The last I heard, he's going to announce the news tomorrow." She blushed. "Right now, Cornelia is mad at him because she has to get married in Pendragon now. We had been at the Imperial Palace for a week before we came here and Empress Evelina drove Cornelia crazy."

"And Schneizel is willing to risk Cornelia's anger for this one wedding?"

"I think…I think…" Euphemia looked away, motioning for Gino to lean closer. Only when Gino had leaned forward did she speak again. "He's been reworking the line of succession. The one that father had left behind was a mess and Schneizel didn't want Britannia to suffer through the same panic."

Gino remembered the panic well. Schneizel had taken the throne the day after the massacre, just to have someone running the government. Until they had found the document that stated the line of succession, Schneizel refused the title of emperor. Britannia had been without an emperor for a week before the proper documents were found, and then the panic began.

Out of the seven documents found, five were still legally viable. The line of succession had been messed up badly from before Charles took the throne as emperor. Charles' father had gotten the throne on a technicality that had caused a civil war when he died. Charles had only managed to get the throne by staying hidden until most of his older siblings had been killed and then finding a regent to rule with him until he was of age. His brother, Vincent, had solved the problem by fleeing the country.

Tracking who would take the throne after Charles' death had been further complicated by the fact most of his older children were dead or in hiding, which gave some of the older members of the Britannia family the courage to push their claim to the throne. It had taken months, during which Schneizel continued to rule the empire and some of the other princesses and princes came trickling back in, only to find that they had been barred from taking the throne because they had been considered dead.

To Gino's knowledge, the fighting over the throne would have gone on far long or escalated into another civil war if Schneizel hadn't finally claimed the title of emperor. There had been arguments following his announcement, but Schneizel had been backed by the common people and most of Charles' wives, since most of them had lost at least one child to the massacre at Aries Villa.

That Schneizel was reworking the line of succession meant two things, that he was doing as he said and trying to keep an emperor on the throne and Britannia out of civil war or he was terminally ill. Gino tried to think back on the last time he had seen Schneizel. The emperor had seemed perfectly alright then, but he had never been able to get a good read on Schneizel.

Gino swallowed, deciding that not knowing was the greater risk. "Is the emperor well?"

Euphemia sat back. "Well of course he is." She frowned a moment later, Gino surprised at the speed that she caught on to his thoughts. "Why?"

"He's reworking the line of succession."

"He's making it easier for his heir to take the throne." Euphemia shifted nervously in her seat before sighing, slumping forward. "Forgive the lack of formality, Gino, but I'm too tired for it. Nunnally has been out distracting Lady Marianne while Cornelia and I talked to Schneizel. We wanted him to be sure of what he was doing before he agreed to anything."

Gino tensed. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, Schneizel is just…fixing something that needed to be fixed." Euphemia took a deep breath. "You know about Empress Evelina and her views? Well, it's gotten to be too much for the empire. The Areas don't appreciate her trying to get them back and Schneizel doesn't appreciate his diplomatic work ruined. Britannia is twice as profitable under Schneizel, and it's because of his network of treaties. The Areas are essentially free and self governing, but Britannia has the right to exclusive trade if the Area wishes and a promise that Britannia will back them if they get into trouble. Doing this has put the Chinese Federation and the EU on edge since the Areas are no longer resisting us but working with us."

"I'm sensing a but here."

Euphemia smiled. "And here it is. Empress Evelina has got to go. Even her family agrees that she is doing more harm than good, but that's only reluctantly."

"So? There's a law that allowed the emperor to marry more than once."

"Yes, but that will just make her angrier. Besides, can you see Schneizel as many wives as my father had?"

"He's not the type to be held to any number of women."

"Exactly. Which is why he's reworking the line of succession to appease Evelina's family. Their son will remain the crown prince and they will continue to support him despite the divorce. And that is why Cornelia is getting married in Pendragon at the beginning of the month, because the news will be out about the divorce soon enough and a celebration is needed."

Gino narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything. It was common for the aristocrats to shuffle each other around to be used for another's benefit. It had happened more often than he wanted to remember in his childhood, but that didn't mean that he felt any better about it. Honestly, it unnerved Gino. It reminded him of the many other possible ways his family could have reacted when they had found out about his affair.

He looked up as Euphemia touched his hand, a real smile on her face again. He cleared his throat, careful not to move his hand away from hers. "So why did Nunnally and Marianne not take part in this conversation?"

Euphemia's smile disappeared, Gino wincing at his blunder. He went to pull his hand away, Euphemia not letting him. "Schneizel left some of his siblings on the document, the older ones to serve as possible regents and the younger ones to take over the throne if something happens. But Lelouch is no longer on the document, and we had a long talk about what to do about it. Marianne may have agreed to respect Nunnally's wishes in not looking for Lelouch anymore, but listening to them talk about removing her son entirely may have been too much."

She let her hand slip off of his, staring at the floor. "It was a bit much for me as well. Despite everything, I always hoped that he was alive too." She cleared her throat and stood up. "But I guess it's time to face the facts and move on."

Gino shifted in his chair, trying to come up with the right words. "That brings us to the business I wanted to talk to you about. You do know about our mission?" He paused long enough to see Euphemia nod. "Well, we found something."

"Lelouch?" Euphemia stood up straight.

"No. But he looks just like him." Gino got to his feet when Euphemia turned to walk away. Against his better judgment, he reached out to grab her wrist. "Listen Euphemia, Kallen and I both agree that he looks like he could be Lelouch."

"Many of the other impostors did too."

"Yes, but this is different. Euphemia," Gino circled around so he could see her face, "he's the right age and knows nothing about his past."

"How convenient."

"And he's taken to Suzaku completely." Euphemia froze at that, Gino hurrying onward. "I know that it's not real evidence, but none of the others have even recognized Suzaku when they've come into their interviews or left them. Some of the others that we looked at in Japan looked disgusted to see him. But this one made Suzaku smile."

"Gino…"

"I know that's not enough, but we promised this guy that we'd get him a chance. We thought that he looked like Lelouch so we dragged him over here."

Euphemia pulled away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. "What does he want?"

"His memories?" Gino shrugged. "He isn't in it for the money, that's for sure."

She hesitated for a moment longer before letting her arms drop. "And you are sure about him?"

"No, which is why I want to get support before I bring the idea to Nunnally." Gino couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. "It will be hard enough to get her to see him, let alone take him seriously, so I want all the evidence we can get."

Euphemia sighed, shaking her head. "I…I will see him tomorrow then and make my decision. I just hope you are right, Gino."

"I wouldn't be bringing this up if I didn't think I was." Gino bowed, pausing before he got up. "We're keeping him at the Ashford estate until we can convince Nunnally and Marianne to see him."

"I will be there tomorrow then." Euphemia motioned toward the door, her formal demeanor dropping for a moment. "I trust you, Gino."

There was no response he could give to that. Gino just nodded and walked out of the door, trying to ignore the way that Euphemia slumped back into her chair. He shut the door carefully behind him before turning to walk down the hall, jumping when he saw Kallen standing there.

"So, what did she say?"

Gino glanced around before starting to walk in the direction of their rooms. Kallen fell into step beside him, obviously impatient to hear the news. Gino took a deep breath, letting it out as a sigh. "She's agreed to see him, but she didn't seem convinced."

"Then we'll have to do our best to convince her."

* * *

><p>"Good-night mother." Marianne looked up as Nunnally walked out of the room. She smiled at her daughter, the smile disappearing as soon as Nunnally shut the door.<p>

Something important had gone on today, and she hadn't been a part of it.

She leaned forward, resting her chin in her hand. Marianne had let Nunnally take her out of the castle for a day out in the city. She hadn't argued at the time, she knew that she needed to do something other than mope around the castle trying to preserve every memory she had of Lelouch. That and Cornelia and Guilford needed their time alone, especially since there was talk of the wedding being moved back to Pendragon. Marianne sighed and stood up, walking over to pick up her hairbrush. She would have to tell them that the offer of her townhouse extended to the honeymoon or for any time they needed to escape Pendragon. She understood how difficult it was to live with a woman who disapproved of you.

Marianne shook her head and began to brush her hair out. Until the massacre at the Aries Villa most of the other wives had hated her, but that had disappeared after Charles had died. Perhaps it was because there was no need to compete for Charles' attention anymore. Or maybe it was the fact that all of the wives at lost someone important to them, be it one of their children, a relative or a beloved knight. It had brought them all together, to the point where they didn't mind speaking with Charles' commoner wife. In fact, most of them seemed to admire her because of the way that she had carried on afterward, how she had not only supported Schneizel, but had made herself available to him despite the loss of her child.

None of them realized how she had grieved for Lelouch when she was away from them. For most of the wives, grieving was done partially in private and partially in public, all part of the show of politics. Marianne realized the importance of the political show, but she refused to be anything but strong in public. She had spent too long being judged and watched for any signs of weakness to allow any of it to show in public. In private was a completely different matter.

She glanced over to the letter partially hidden by her hand mirror. Her mother had sent it to her when Lelouch had been confirmed as dead, an invitation to come home whenever she needed it. Marianne smiled and reached out to touch the letter, jerking her hand back quickly. She had never taken up the invitation, she didn't want to sit through her mother's pity filled smiles and her father's attempts to cheer her up with his old war stories. Once they had inspired her to work hard and become a Knight of the Round, to make her father proud. Now they just reminded her how she had thought of her children.

To her, Lelouch and Nunnally had just been a way to keep her position. She had loved Charles too much to just be put aside like his other wives and her mother had needed the money that she could give her, as her father had been badly injured during a skirmish and her mother had lost her job. Her children had just been a means to the end, a hope that, eventually, her mother and father could live in comfort for the rest of their lives.

When she had lost Lelouch, she realized how much she had loved them, how they weren't as much of a bother as she thought.

The brush dropped out of her hands, Marianne immediately turning to look at the door. Thankfully, no one had heard. She didn't want Nunnally to rush back in to try and comfort her. She had been holding Nunnally too close for too long, Nunnally didn't need to be stuck tending her for the rest of her life. Marianne could take care of herself. This was just a little difficulty for her to get over.

She took a deep breath, bending over to pick up her brush. Lelouch was gone, that was something that she had to accept. She couldn't go chasing after shadows and grasping at air in the hopes that it would return her little boy. By pushing the issue she had just hurt Nunnally, the one thing that she had never wanted to do.

Marianne placed the brush back on the table as someone knocked on the door. "Come in."

The door creaked as it opened, Marianne relaxing as Jeremiah Gottwald peered in. "My lady?"

"I'm fine Jeremiah, just tired."

"Of course, my lady." Jeremiah bowed and shut the door.

Marianne sat down on her bed and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Tomorrow she would work to figure out what had happened that Nunnally had to keep her out of the castle for the day. It wouldn't be hard, not if she could corner Cornelia. Cornelia was under enough stress at the moment that the simple offer of a person to talk to should be enough. It would be good for her to get out and ride, really ride again, not just let her horse plod along on the trails.

She took another deep breath, steadying herself as she came to a single conclusion. Nunnally was right. It was time to let Lelouch go. Marianne looked over to her bedside table, her hand shaking as he picked up a pen and scrawled a quick note. She would visit Lelouch's grave in Pendragon and leave flowers there. And she would talk to Nunnally. Marianne had never been able to keep plants alive; Nunnally must have inherited that skill from her grandmother. She wanted to create a small space in the garden, a small place where they could put a monument for Lelouch.

It was the only thing she could think of doing.

* * *

><p><em>I've messed a bit with English history here. I'm assuming that, since the nobles and the royal family fled to the US when Napoleon invaded England in the Code Geass universe, they just did away with the royal family entirely and resorted to a purely parliamentary system with the final veto power on the prime minister. With that in mind, I expanded the universe to make England and Britannia somewhat friendly to each other during times of peace as they do have the same originating culture.<em>

_The castle that I put Marianne in does exist, although I've tweaked it and parts of its history for the purpose of this fic. Windsor castle did suffer from a fire in 1992, but it was the Upper Ward that suffered damage, not the Lower Ward where I have the fire occurring in this fic. The Ashford estate would be where the Frogmore estate exists currently._


	6. Chapter 5: Learn to Do It

**Chapter Five: Learn to Do It**

Suzaku rolled out of his bed, running a hand through his hair. He yawned, glancing at the clock before groaning. It was far too early to be getting up, but he was sure that he wasn't going back to sleep. Suzaku stumbled across the room to get his clothes, pulling on a pair of jeans and his last remaining clean shirt. He made a face as he pulled it on. He would have to get the rest of his stuff from the barracks as soon as possible, but that would depend on Kallen and Gino if they wanted him to be with Lelouch at all times.

He turned to face the mirror in the room, wincing when he realized that the shirt only covered half of the tattoo on his neck. Suzaku rubbed his hand over the tattoo, wincing before letting it drop. Hopefully it would only be the three of them there today and it wouldn't matter. Only Milly would know what is was, Lelouch would just think that it was a normal tattoo.

He let his hand drop back down to his side, turning around to stare at the door that led to Lelouch's room. Suzaku swallowed and walked over to the door, cracking it open just enough to see that Lelouch was still in his bed, asleep. Suzaku lost his nerve a moment later, letting the door slide shut and running from his room. He couldn't be close to Lelouch right now, not when he was increasingly aware of just how much of the tattoo was showing.

Suzaku walked quickly through the empty house, partially constructing a possible patrol pattern that he could use over the next few days. It would be helpful to relearn the layout of the Ashford mansion in case Nunnally or Lady Marianne came over for a visit. And it would help him with his nightmares, give him something to do other than lie in bed and try to remind himself that it was all over. He _knew_ that it was all over, he just needed the memories to go away completely.

He was distracted from his task when he walked back to the kitchen, tensing as he saw the light from under the closed door. Suzaku glanced back down the hallways before padding forward. He was painfully aware of how vulnerable he was at the moment; his gun had been left at Windsor when he had gone with Gino and Kallen. Their orders had been to pose as common people, although they still carried the IDs that proclaimed Gino and Kallen as knights to Lady Marianne vi Britannia.

Then again, he was probably just overreacting. The Ashfords had a security system for their mansion and a few loyal guards that lived near the gate to the mansion. Besides, they majority of the Ashford fortune was in Britannia, sunk into the scientific facility there. Everyone knew that only Ruben Ashford and his granddaughter lived here, and that Ruben was dedicated to his school.

Suzaku straightened up, easing the door open. He peeked into the kitchen, carefully stepping in when he was sure the coast was clear. That didn't stop him from giving the kitchen a quick look over, freezing when he spotted Milly leaning on the counter. He blushed and ducked his head, barely stopping himself from bowing. Milly didn't hold to the same formality the other nobles did.

She waved him over, patting the stool next to her. "Expecting an attack, Suzaku?"

"Habit." He sat down on the stool, leaning his elbows on the counter as he took a deep breath. He felt Milly place a hand on her back, rubbing between his shoulder blades.

"Is it that stressful?"

"No." Suzaku smiled sadly, looking up at her. "This is probably the least stressful job that I could have."

She pulled her hand back. "Then why do you look like you've gone without sleep for a week?"

Suzaku shrugged. "Other worries." He rubbed his hand over his face. "Little things that shouldn't bother me."

"Then don't let them. I believe it's better to ignore the things that shouldn't bother you and enjoy life."

"You always tell me to enjoy life."

Milly gave him a playful shove. "Because you don't. You just stubbornly do your duty and nothing else. It's not healthy to work all of the time."

Suzaku bit back his first response. Milly didn't need to know that working all the time was the only way he could be happy. Working would lead to him being recognized for his skills rather than for his who his father had been, which would put him in the right position to become Lelouch's knight. It was the only way he could guarantee his own happiness.

He absently reached up to rub his throat, freezing when he felt Milly's gaze on his neck. Suzaku curled his fingers around the visible parts of the tattoo, pressing them harder against his skin as Milly moved closer.

"What is that? Did you get hurt or-" Milly cut herself off, Suzaku flinching as he watched her eyes widen. Everyone knew what happened to him, it didn't take long for most to put two and two together. "Suzaku, I…Let me see."

He didn't have time to jerk back as she leaned over and pulled the collar of his shirt down, peering at his tattoo. Suzaku leaned as far back as she would allow, focusing his gaze on a certain point on the wall, trying not to shift nervously. He should have known better than to draw Milly's attention to the tattoo, especially knowing how curious she was about it. He should have just checked in the kitchen to see why the light was on and moved away.

She let go of his shirt, sitting back in her seat. Her gaze didn't leave his neck, Suzaku shifting nervously in his seat. Milly gave him an odd look before sitting up straight. "Is that all?"

"What?"

"I mean," she gestured at the tattoo, "is that all there is?"

Suzaku traced the tattoo with a finger, clearing his throat. "Yeah."

She hummed, leaned forward onto the counter and staring at the wall. "It's not as bad I thought, ignoring the context. From the stuff I heard about it, I thought it was be more intricate or, you know, more painful."

"It was painful when I was eight." Milly gave him a sidelong glance, Suzaku immediately feeling guilty. It wasn't his place to try to prove that he was something to be pitied. Honestly, he would have preferred if people didn't pity him, there was enough of that in his life.

"So, what are you doing up this early?"

"I could ask the same of you." Suzaku glanced at Milly. "But I was just familiarizing myself with the house again."

"We have our own guards for that."

"Yes but-"

"Suzaku, think of this as practice. A prince and his knight have to be able to trust each other completely. If we put the two of you together, then you'll get to know each other well enough to have that level of trust by the time he's announced as a prince. This is your perfect chance."

Suzaku stared at Milly, wanting to shake his head. What she was saying was the truth, it was the perfect chance to be Lelouch's knight without the pressure of being surrounded by strangers. He was in a familiar environment very close to the best fighters in the country. It would have been completely perfect, save for one thing that nagged him.

"Milly, do you think-"

"It doesn't matter." Suzaku jerked back slightly as he was interrupted, Milly turning to look at him. "It doesn't matter who I think it is. It only matters who you think he is. Do _you_ think he's Lelouch?"

"I…I…"

"You don't know?"

"No." He had almost convinced himself completely that this was the Lelouch that they had been looking for, but that was just his own wishful thinking. Suzaku knew better than to believe his instincts in this case, because they would just be wrong. He was looking for an excuse to believe that this was Lelouch, just like all of the other people they had found before.

"Then we have a problem because, out of everyone, you should know Lelouch the best."

"We were kids."

"That means nothing. You were friends for years, close friends if I heard right."

"He's probably changed."

"Fine then." Milly turned to face him completely. "Convince me why he isn't Lelouch."

Suzaku stared at her, opening his mouth to speak only to snap it shut a moment later. There really was no evidence against the man being Lelouch at this point. In fact there was more for him being Lelouch at this point.

There was the age, the eyes and the resemblance to Marianne, all of those fitting better than any of the others that Suzaku had seen. But then there were the subtle things, the things that he wasn't sure that Kallen and Gino had noticed, mostly because they hadn't been around. The way this Lelouch held himself, just barely slumping his shoulders, like he couldn't bring himself to fully abandon the proper posture. The way that this Lelouch carefully planned out every move, like he was aware of the people watching them. The way that, when this Lelouch started to speak about a topic he felt strongly about, he would start talking with his hands. They were small gestures, but still graceful and quick, miniature versions of the grand gestures that Suzaku had teased his Lelouch about.

The most compelling reason Suzaku couldn't even be sure about, he could have been inventing it for his own sake. It wasn't really evidence at all; it was just a vague feeling, the soft pull towards Lelouch. Like it was the right Lelouch and he subconsciously knew it, which was completely nonsense in his opinion. There was no way for him to know subconsciously, he needed some kind of proof.

Suzaku shook his head, pressing his hands against the counter. "That's just it. There is no evidence against him, yet."

"Aw, why did you have you ruin it?" Milly reached over to give his shoulder a shove. "Why couldn't you be positive about this?"

"It's not the type of thing to be optimistic about. There's too much on the line."

"Hm." Milly leaned forward. "Then why don't you trust Kallen and Gino."

"Because they are relying on me!" Suzaku snapped his mouth shut. Since they weren't able to take Nunnally or Marianne out with them when they looked, they usually had to rely on a description or Suzaku, and he wasn't sure that they could depend on him. He hadn't led anyone astray thus far, but there had never been a physical match for his memory of Lelouch. He leaned forward, running his hand through his hair. "Milly, they shouldn't rely on me."

"Is this about your crush on Lelouch?" Suzaku blushed, that enough to make Milly chuckle. "I don't think it matters to everyone else as much as you think it does."

"It compromises my judgment."

"Since when? Since when has it done that…or is this the first time?" He didn't have to look up at her to know that she was smirking. "Oh, so it is the first time. That's interesting. How long have you known?"

"That I'm attracted to this Lelouch."

"No." Milly laughed and shoved him. "That you liked Lelouch."

Suzaku swallowed. There really hadn't been a moment when the realization struck; it was just something that had happened over time. He had always been determined to find Lelouch and he had always missed Lelouch, but he hadn't come to the conclusion that he had liked Lelouch for a long while. He scratched the back of his neck, giving a helpless shrug.

Milly sighed and patted his shoulder. "Suzaku, it's alright. I don't think anyone will think less of you if you do. People might expect it."

Suzaku hung his head, slipping from his seat on the stool. "I…I'm going to finish my round."

He went to bow; freezing when saw Milly get off of her stool. He quickly stood up and walked away before she could say anything else.

Logically, he knew that she was just trying to help, but it wasn't the kind of help that he wanted. Right now, he wanted desperately to be told that this was his Lelouch, the one that he had been searching for. Then it would be alright to allow himself to just fall so quickly. Then he would be falling for Lelouch instead of some stranger that he felt drawn to.

He reached for his pin, jerking his hand away from his pocket when he realized that it wasn't there. Suzaku glanced up toward his room, panicking for a moment before forcing himself to keep walking. It wasn't that much of a problem, he would just finish his patrol of the house and then go back and get it. He was just jumpy because it had been the first time that he had forgotten his pin in a long time. He could survive the next thirty minutes without it. Suzaku forced himself to keep the same pace as he made his way through the halls, just to prove to himself that he wasn't completely reliant on the pin to keep himself steady.

He would have to give up the pin in the end, even if it was just for a few hours, when he was knighted. Lelouch would have to present it to him officially. And then he would never have to worry about leaving it behind again.

* * *

><p>Euphemia got out of the car, waving at her driver before walking up to the front door. She had managed to slip out of Windsor while Nunnally was busy seeing off Marianne and Cornelia. She felt bad for deserting Nunnally, but she had promised Gino that she would see this man that they had brought back and it would give her a chance to see Suzaku for herself.<p>

She hadn't seen him much after he had declined her request to become her knight, not that she blamed him for it. She understood that he had been carefully groomed to become Lelouch's knight before the massacre and that he probably saw himself as Lelouch's knight still, despite the fact that Lelouch was no longer with them. Euphemia had just wanted to give him the chance to be a knight, even if Lelouch was never found.

There was no denying that his refusal had hurt her, because it had felt like he had been refusing _her_ as well. She had thought that there had been something between them, that she had started to draw Suzaku out of his shell. In her more romantic moments, she had believed that he would forget about Lelouch and be happy just being with her. And, perhaps that was what had hurt the most, the realization that she wasn't enough for Suzaku and probably would never be.

Some days she wondered what the two of them could have been if Lelouch had made it out that night. Would they have just been knight and princess or could they have been like Cornelia and Guilford, madly in love with each other? Euphemia thought that, if Lelouch had never disappeared, then Suzaku would have never had the chance to realize how much Lelouch meant to him.

Euphemia shook her head, raising her hand to knock on the door. It wasn't that she didn't want Lelouch to be found. In the end she just wanted Suzaku to be happy, but there was still a part of her that wanted him to be happy with _her_.

She jumped as the door opened, smiling as she saw that Kallen was standing on the other side. Euphemia stepped into the house, taking off her coat with a relieved sigh. "It's gotten cold."

"It's December, princess."

"I know." Euphy laughed. "But I sometimes forget how cold it can get."

Kallen smiled and gestured towards the interior of the house. "They're in the library, but you could probably just listen for Gino."

Euphemia winced, folding her coat over her arm. "Is it going that bad?"

"I can't tell. I left before Gino could start demonstrating his skill."

She couldn't help herself, she laughed. Euphemia reached out for Kallen's arm to support herself, keeping the knight close as she began to walk further into the house. "What could they be doing?"

"Milly is trying to figure out what she has to work with." At Euphemia's surprised look, Kallen elaborated. "We're giving him the basic education that the imposters got, just to be sure that we're on even ground with him."

"Anything else?"

Kallen shot her a sideways glance. "If we get your approval, we're sending out a DNA test, just to back up our claim and somehow convince Nunnally to see him."

Euphemia smiled, glad that they had planned for some tangible evidence as well as their own convictions. She wasn't sure that it would be enough to make it past Nunnally, especially since Nunnally seemed to have her heart set on moving on.

They headed towards the library, Euphemia raising her hand to cover her mouth as she heard Gino talking loudly about something, the words indistinct from a distance. Euphemia pulled away from Kallen, walking over to the library doors. She stopped herself before she pulled them open, staring at the wood.

Part of her just wanted to turn around and run back to Windsor, not because she didn't believe Gino, but because she was scared of what she would see. There was a small chance that this man really was Lelouch, but there was an even larger chance that it wasn't. The threat of disappointment was enough to make her run away. Euphemia had tried to get out of as many of the interviews as possible for just that reason; she didn't think that she could handle the constant disappointments. Both Nunnally and Marianne were stronger than her for that reason.

She took a deep breath, glancing back at Kallen before opening the doors.

The doors creaked a little, the sound cutting off Gino in the middle of a sentence. Gino gave her a smile and a wave, Milly leaning out to see around him. The two of them were leaning against the liquor cabinet that was on one side of the room, obviously focused on someone on the other side. Euphemia turned her head to look at the other person, catching the man in the act of turning around.

She let go of the doors quickly, backing out into the hall again. Kallen was there to keep her from fleeing, the knight gently taking her arm and leading her back into the library. This time, Euphemia didn't notice Gino or Milly, her gaze was focused entirely on the man standing on near the bookshelves.

He was a perfect physical match for Lelouch, she couldn't deny that. But that wasn't the thing that convinced her, it was the way that he held himself now with his shoulders slightly too far back, his weight rocked back onto his left foot and his whole body tense. It was the perfect imitation of Lelouch when he was wary. Even the way he relaxed was the same; slowly letting his shoulders move forward and shifting forward again, but the tension was still there. That would be the last thing to disappear, once he knew that he was safe.

From the interviews that Euphemia had been unable to avoid, the men had matched physically, but the mannerisms had never been right. They would have had to know Lelouch to know his mannerisms, intimately if they knew him this well. But that was impossible, she had spent almost all of her time with Lelouch when they were kids and had known all of Lelouch's friends back then. She didn't know if someone had become close to Lelouch after he had gone missing, but that didn't make sense. Lelouch would have tried to come back if he was still alive, his sister and his mother were his entire world.

Euphemia took a cautious step away from Kallen, glancing over at Suzaku. To her surprise, Suzaku was standing in a corner, purposefully keeping himself away from Lelouch. Euphemia narrowed her eyes, her shock disappearing. If this really was Lelouch, there would have to be some sign from Suzaku.

She shook her head, walking over to a chair and sitting down, draping her coat over the arm of the chair. Euphemia tried to look stern, but she was sure that she had already given herself away. She cleared her throat, looking over at Gino. "This is him?"

"Yes." Gino bowed, turning to gesture at the man as he stood up. "This is Lelouch."

She jumped at the name, glancing over at Suzaku automatically. The knight ducked his head. "He was given that name, your highness."

Euphemia nodded slowly, watching as Suzaku turned his full attention to Lelouch. She watched the two of them for a moment. She wasn't quite sure she was ready to believe that this was Lelouch, but this was the best one that she had seen. She leaned forward in her seat, smiling at Gino. "I'm impressed, although I didn't expect otherwise. You're right, he's the perfect candidate."

That got the tension to disappear from Lelouch's body. Euphemia stared at him for a moment more before sitting up. Aside from the mannerisms, which could be a coincidence, and the physical appearance, she had no other evidence that this was Lelouch. But there was an instinctual feeling that she couldn't ignore and the fact that there was a promised DNA test. With the backing of royalty, the test wouldn't take too long; the results would be in after a week at most.

She tapped her fingers against the arm of the chair. What she really wanted to do was to pull Suzaku aside and ask him what he thought of the situation, now was not the time for that. She would have to rely on her own decisions then, at least until she could corner Suzaku and talk to him.

The only way she could decide was to speak to him, but she was sure that he knew the interview questions by heart now. Or maybe not. Euphemia tipped her head to the side and stood up, walking over to Lelouch. She hesitated for a moment before curtsying, watching a look of confusion cross his face. "It's a pleasure to meet you again Lelouch."

Lelouch hesitated for a moment before returning her bow, the bow of a subject to a princess. He paused halfway through the motion, frowning before adjusting the depth of the bow. Euphemia wasn't sure whether the adjustment was from the lessons that Milly had been giving him or something that he remembered.

She backed up a few steps, gesturing for Gino to return to her side. "Gino, I'll return at the end of the week to interview him."

"Princess Euphemia I'm sure you'll have enough evidence if you just wait a bit longer."

"It's not from a lack of evidence…at least not in the way you think it is." Euphemia glanced at Lelouch. "I mean, it just seems too easy. He claims to have no memory and suddenly shows up. Gino it's almost too perfect and I just want to know if there's something that we can pull out that will make this all make sense."

"What do you think right now?"

"If I had my choice, I would say he's my half brother right now." Euphemia glanced desperately around the room. "But this is not a fairy tale, Gino. I want to be sure, really sure."

He smiled and bowed. "I understand then. We'll be ready for you."

"And, wait to give me the DNA report until I've spoken with him. I want to convince myself first." Euphemia bit her lip, considering her next words carefully. "If everything turns out alright, then I'll speak to Nunnally. The longer we wait the more stubborn Nunnally will be about it."

"Thank you, Euphemia."

She smiled and patted Gino's arm. "Don't thank me for this, not until we know how it turns out. Until then, it's my job to thank you for doing your duty so well. If this works out the way we want it to, then I don't know how we'll ever be able to repay you."

Euphemia glanced over at Suzaku as she spoke, surprised to see that he had drifted closer to Lelouch while she and Gino were talking. It wasn't enough to show whether Suzaku believed that this was their Lelouch, but it was relief to see that Suzaku was supporting this as well. Euphemia nodded to herself, stepping away from Gino and over to Kallen, giving the group a smile. "I'm sorry to come and go so quickly, but I promised Nunnally a day out together without any clingy guards. I may have to steal Kallen."

Kallen snorted. "I'd volunteer. I have better things to do than to watch Gino pretend to be a prince."

"Hey."

"It's not charming, it's embarrassing." Kallen shook her head. "Gino you flounce."

"I do not!"

"Suzaku?"

"She's right, Gino. You do flounce."

Gino sputtered for a moment, turning to look at Euphemia. "See how they wound me?"

Euphemia giggled, hiding her smile behind her hand. "It's a miracle that you survived two weeks with them, Sir Weinberg. In that case, I'll have to take Kallen with me, to prevent any more harm done to your person."

Gino grinned. "I am honored that your highness would look after my health in such a manner." Gino turned around. "Farewell red-headed temptress, I will suffer under your insults no longer."

Kallen punched his arm, ignoring the long suffering look that crossed Gino's face as she went to stand by Euphemia. "The sooner I get out of this training session, the better."

"Come on then." Euphemia grabbed Kallen's arm with one hand and her coat with the other, throwing a smile over her shoulder at Gino. "I'll return your red-headed temptress after our little girl's day out. Good luck!"

She waved at the four of them as she led Kallen out of the room, her smile wavering as soon as the library doors had shut behind them. Kallen tightened her hold on Euphemia. "You alright, princess?"

"As alright as I can be. It's just a bit of a shock to see…that." Euphemia let go of Kallen's arm, carefully putting on her coat. "I'm sticking by what I said though. This could be the best chance we will ever get. Although I don't think he will be able to stay here if he proves just to be an illegitimate son, it would hurt Marianne and Nunnally too much."

"The name would have to go too."

Euphemia nodded, wincing at the thought. She hoped that Marianne wouldn't push the issue, that just keeping him away from them would be enough, but there was a large chance that it wouldn't work out. But there had to be some part of the man who didn't want to be mistaken for the lost prince forever, especially once he started a new life for himself.

She rubbed her hands together before sticking them in her pockets "And Suzaku?"

"He'd probably go on looking for the rest of his life."

"No. I meant, what does he think?"

Kallen shrugged. "I can't tell. He's alternating between being completely sure and being annoyingly unsure. But, when he thinks no one is looking, they act like the best of friends." She tensed and looked at Euphemia. "Why?"

"Because that will tell us a lot. Suzaku was probably the one who knew Lelouch best out of all of us."

"Or it's something else."

Euphemia shook her head. "For today, can we try to be optimistic? After everything that has happened, I think we need a day to be happy."

It took a moment for Kallen to nod in agreement, the slight moment of confusion on her face telling Euphemia that she might have to explain the political situation to her at some point. Kallen and Gino would definitely be going with Marianne and Nunnally to Pendragon for the wedding as part of their guard. It was only fair to bring them up to speed on the events that would be unfolding after the wedding, and it was far better for them to hear it from Euphemia or Nunnally instead of Empress Evelina.

Euphemia took Kallen's arm again, leading her to the front door of the Ashford mansion. They paused long enough for Kallen to pull on her coat before rushing out to the car. The driver looked surprised to see her back again so quickly, but started up the car.

She laughed as she pulled Kallen into the car, unable to keep herself from smiling. Despite the impossibility of the circumstances, she couldn't stop smiling. Despite the fact that she would have to continue to convince Cornelia to go through with the wedding and try to talk Nunnally into seeing another Lelouch, she felt that there was nothing that could ruin her day.

They had found someone who could be Lelouch.

* * *

><p>Mao swung the door shut and set down his bag, stretching his arms above his head. While planes were the fastest manner of transport, he preferred trains. At least on trains he could move around and, possibly, stretch out. Planes he was stuck in one position for hours on end next to people he'd rather not associate with. The only one who had made travelling on planes worth it before was C.C.<p>

He slumped at that, glancing around the small room that he had been given. At least with C.C, the hours on the plane went by quickly, either by the conversations that they had or the hours that he could spend in her presence. But the Geass Order had never sent them on too many missions together for reasons that Mao had never been able to figure out. If C.C. had been the one who was giving him his orders, it would have made sense for her to go with him to see that he was doing his job right.

Then again, many things that the Geass Order had told him hadn't made sense. He still didn't know why they had killed C.C. or why they had given her someone else to look after.

He clenched his hands into fists, forcing himself to relax a moment later. The Geass Order didn't matter now, they were all dead. What they had been working for didn't matter to him any longer either; he had only been there for C.C.

C.C. had found him as an orphan on her way back from one of her missions, the one that had taken her to England. He didn't know much about his life before she had found him, only that he had been an orphan in the Chinese Federation. She had lived with him there for a year before bringing him to the Geass Order.

He had joined the order eight years later as an assassin at the insistence of some of the other members. Mao remembered half of them insisting that he pull his weight instead of being just another mouth to feed. Some of the others told him that it was the right way to prove his love to C.C, by dedicating himself to the cause she fought for. But she was never there long enough for him to show her that he truly loved her.

C.C. was never at the headquarters, something about having done something that had angered the men who ran the Geass Orders. Mao couldn't quite understand why they were so mad. Suzaku Kururugi had proved to be completely useless for their cause while he had been very useful. He was the one who followed orders without question and who never got caught. He was the one who managed to come in under his budget every time. His kills were clean and quick; Mao only lingered over his assignments when he was given express permission. It was incomprehensible to mourn over the loss of a useless boy when Mao had fallen into their laps.

So he had carried on, to prove to C.C. that he believed in her cause and that he would do anything for her. He didn't care what the cause was exactly or why it had involved killing people. All that mattered was that it was for C.C.

Even this mission was for C.C. It was to kill the boy that had gotten her killed. The fact that it involved revenge just sweetened the deal.

Mao picked up his bag, walking over to the bed and sitting down on it. He stared at the ceiling as he fished around for his cell phone, wanting to check on the transfer of funds. For a moment, he fumbled with it, not quite used to the new phone. His old phone was in some trashcan in Japan, near the house of one of the assassins that the Geass Order had used, the one that Mao had felt had gotten too big for himself.

He played with the settings for a while, smiling when he saw that things had gone through. With the money that he had gotten, partially from his own account and partially from the account of the Geass Order, he would have enough to get him through a year or two before he had to take another job. Mao was not confident that the same accounts would be open to him within the next two years. But he was sure that he would not be stalking the same boy in the next two years.

Mao tossed the phone onto the bed, rolling onto his side and staring at the window. He planned to go out and get the lay out of the city later, when he was sure that he would be taken as a tourist. He even had a camera to play the part. The city would be his limit today, just to be sure that he could get around here and to establish a few good escape routes. He would wait until later to search for where the boy would have been taken. Searching the grounds of the royal household would be more difficult and require more patience; he would wait until he hadn't been on a plane for hours to do that.

Satisfied with his plan, Mao smiled, letting an arm dangle off of the bed. Despite being tired from the flights and the time changes, he wouldn't let himself sleep. He needed to get adjusted to his new time, which was another reason to keep his roaming to a minimum today. Only the worst assassins rushed the job.

He slipped from the bed, forcing himself to start unpacking a few things to keep up appearances. They were nonessential things, just clothes that he could replace at any time. The more important things he would keep in his bag and ready to go if he was forced to run. Mao smoothed out a shirt in a drawer, staring at it.

If he had to run, his hide away options were low. In fact, it would be best if he avoided all of the old hideouts, in case the other members of the Geass Order talked. He huffed; annoyed at the work it would take. Finding a new hideout in case he had to retreat should have been the first thing he had done instead of chasing after the boy and his three guards, but Mao hadn't been willing to risk the chance of losing them. And he didn't have the time now, he didn't know if the boy would be moved again or if the protection around him would increase. Seeing as the boy had been taken by knights of the royal family, Mao was certain that there would only be fragments of time when he could get the boy alone.

Mao sighed, stepping away from the drawers and staring at the pile of clothes. It would have to do for now and, for the next job, he would have all the hard work set up for him. This one he would just settle for a rushed job, which wouldn't matter in the end. All of his best jobs were ones that he had rushed, using split second decisions and the passion of the moment. His only regret would be that he wouldn't get the time to talk to the boy, to make him realize that he had brought his own end on him.

He stared at the floor for a moment before brightening. Mao was going to have to be careful anyway when it came to getting to the boy, and it would have been better if he could get the boy away from his guards. This would involve two plans then. His first plan, his ideal plan, would be to steal the boy away from his guards and take his time with the kill, make sure the boy knew what was happening and why it was happening. Maybe, if he was lucky enough, he could break the boy before the kill. He had always liked knowing that his victims weren't even going to try to run anymore. His second plan would be the quick kill, the one he would use if he was running out of time. There would be no sense of accomplishment or victory in it, but Mao would accept it for C.C's sake.

Sure of himself, Mao settled back on the bed, sitting up so he knew that he wouldn't fall asleep. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face at the thought of confronting his prey. There would be a bit of trouble in breaking him completely, especially since all the records that Mao had on the boy just said that he was a orphan without his memory past a certain age, but maybe Mao could trigger something. His smile broadened at the thought of the boy sobbing as he held a gun to his head.

Mao shivered and looked at the clock, disappointed to see that the hour he had given himself to get settled was up. Now he would tour the city before it got too dark and he was too tired to be on his guard. He had hoped to have a more finalized plan before he headed out, but a vague outline would do. He would expand on his plan when he got more information, a far better method than just sticking to a plan based on outdated information.

C.C. would have been proud to see how much he had grown from the fumbling young assassin.

Mao hummed to himself as he gathered up his stuff, slinging his camera around his neck as the final part of his disguise. Feeling suitably prepared, he walked out of the hotel room, not bothering to hide the smile on his face or the bounce in his step. It was the first burst of happiness he had had since C.C. had been killed and he wasn't about to let it get away from him.

Somewhere his victim was waiting, completely unaware that Mao was coming after him, and that made Mao want to laugh in delight. Somewhere his victim was gathering together a whole world that could be used against him and taken away in an instant, just like Mao's had. It was nothing less than the perfect revenge.

* * *

><p>Lelouch looked up when the door between his room and Suzaku's creaked open a bit more. He smiled, at the sound of hesitant footsteps. He shut the book and turned around in the chair, not surprised to see Suzaku peering into the room.<p>

The guard blushed and took a step back. "I wasn't expecting the door to be open."

"Well, you are acting as my guard. Why would I make it harder for you to watch me?" Lelouch smirked, leaning back as he watched Suzaku inch back into the room. "Besides, you were the only one not tormenting me all day. If it were Gino or Milly, that door would be shut."

"It couldn't have been that bad."

"I lost count of how many times I had to bow, in general, not just the specific ones. My back still aches." He swallowed at the worry that Suzaku's face. "I'm sure that this will be the least of my worries, especially with the pace that Milly is setting."

"Well, we do have a week, so she's right to push." Suzaku walked completely into the room, coming to stand beside Lelouch's chair. "But I'm sure that we could tell her to tone it down. Milly does tend to get excited about these things."

Lelouch waved him away. "I can handle this."

"If you're sure." Suzaku kneeled beside his chair, leaning on the arm rest.

Lelouch found himself leaning close to Suzaku. He shifted in his seat but didn't pull away; it made sense to talk to Suzaku like this instead of leaning away from him. Lelouch allowed his book to slip through his fingers, not bothering to mark his page. It was just a book on history and he already knew the history of Britannia, there were just some minor additions that were new to him, mostly about the royal family. But it wasn't enough to catch his attention; it was just something to keep him entertained until he felt like going to bed. On the other hand, Suzaku's presence was enough to command his full attention.

He laughed. "Of course I'm sure. It's just etiquette training and memorization."

"You don't know Milly then. I'm sure this will be worse than my training."

Lelouch snorted. "It couldn't have been that bad."

Suzaku opened his mouth to speak, but shut it a moment later, shaking his head. Instead he just scooted closer to the chair, patting the arm. "Listen, feel free to tell Milly to back off."

"And you'll back me up as my guard?"

"And fight to defend your honor, if the situation calls for it."

Lelouch laughed, leaning forward so he could look Suzaku in the eye. "I would back you against Gino, but Milly might be another thing altogether." He was expecting a witty come back from Suzaku, but he was distracted by the hints of red he could see above the collar of Suzaku's shirt. Lelouch narrowed his eyes and leaned further over, aware that Suzaku was leaning away from him. "Is that…"

He couldn't quite make out the shape, but as Suzaku leaned back and pulled up the collar of his shirt, Lelouch got the impression of a V shape. He almost leaned forward to get a better look, but Suzaku's terrified expression stopped him. Lelouch rocked in place for a moment before slipping out of his chair and sitting on the ground. "What is that?"

"It's nothing." Suzaku pulled the collar of his shirt up, pressing it against his neck. He flinched back when Lelouch reached his hand up, intending to pull the shirt away from Suzaku. "Absolutely nothing!"

Lelouch started at Suzaku before pulling his hand away, using that as his sign of surrender. He settled on the floor, watching as Suzaku adjusted his shirt, pulling it up so the shape was hidden. Lelouch sighed, glancing up at where the book was. He could just go back to reading the book and pretend that this had never happened, but he wanted to push, this one time.

He wanted to say that it wasn't nothing, but that would have just complicated the issue. Suzaku responded better to uncomplicated things, probably because he didn't feel that he would get himself trapped with his own explanations. Lelouch wasn't quite sure what that said about Suzaku's intelligence over all, but he had seen glimpses of brilliance. He shook his head, rocking back a bit. Threatening Suzaku would do no good; he was a soldier first and foremost and would respond to threats in the manner that he was trained in. That didn't leave him anything other than a direct confrontation.

Lelouch hid his disgust at having to stoop to an inelegant method, forcing himself to speak before Suzaku walked away. "I doubt that it's that bad. You seem ashamed enough about it. What is it, some stupid decision that you made when you were younger? A sign of rebellion?"

His easy acceptance of whatever the mark was made Suzaku relax a bit. Suzaku's grip loosened on his shirt, but not enough to fully reveal the mark again. Instead of the immediate answer that Lelouch expected, Suzaku gave a dry laugh. "Yeah, it's just a stupid decision from my childhood."

Lelouch barely had time to process that, Suzaku standing up to leave. Without thinking, he reached up to grab onto Suzaku's arm. He stared at where his hand had closed around Suzaku's arm, hesitating for a moment before using the hold to haul himself upright, delaying the moment when he would have to answer for his action.

As soon as he was on his feet, Lelouch let go, glancing back at the door between their rooms. "Stay. I will make that an order if I have to."

He turned and walked back to his chair and sat down, retrieving his book. Lelouch didn't start reading, waiting for the sound of Suzaku leaving the room. He was surprised when Suzaku just walked back around to the front of the chair, staring at Lelouch.

"Would you?"

"Are you demanding something of me?" Lelouch raised an eyebrow, trying to keep his voice steady. "I'm expected to play the part of a prince and I need the practice."

"You're not playing a part."

"That's what it feels like to me." Lelouch held up a hand when Suzaku went to speak. "I'm still just an orphan from Tokyo, that's all that I have. Even if, by some miracle, I am this lost prince, all I'll remember is being an orphan."

"But, you'll get your memories back. Right?"

The hopeful look on Suzaku's face made him sigh, Lelouch reaching up to rub his forehead. "I don't know, Suzaku."

He didn't know why that made Suzaku look so distressed, but he decided to ignore the expression in favor of opening his book and pretending that he was reading. After a long moment of silence, he sighed and closed the book, using his finger to mark the place. "I have no idea if I will ever get everything back but I can assure that that I will play my part to the fullest."

"That's not what we're asking of you." Suzaku leaned forward, Lelouch having to press himself back against the back of the chair. He glanced down at where Suzaku's hands were clutching the armrests before meeting Suzaku's gaze. "We're asking to see if any of this seems familiar to you, familiar enough to say that you are the lost prince. Even if you are proven to be the lost prince and it doesn't feel right no one will force you to stay."

Lelouch stared at him, surprised at the chance to get out. Not only had these people offered him a better life but they were offering a way out, or at least Suzaku was. He narrowed his eyes, considering the offer for a moment before shrugging. "I can't just will them back."

"I know." Suzaku shifted uncomfortably before taking a step back. "I guess we're all hoping that you can get some of them back, something impressive enough to further prove yourself. That's why I-"

Suzaku snapped his mouth shut, Lelouch staring at him. He dropped the book into the chair, standing up as Suzaku backed away. "Why would they specify you?"

Suzaku hung his head, backing up until he had to sit down in the other chair, Lelouch the one looming over him now. He looked up at Lelouch briefly before running his hands through his hair. "I was Lelouch's best friend when we were kids. I guess they think that there'll be some kind of connection or that I'll spark a memory or something." Suzaku sank back into the chair. "Or they're just trying to keep me happy."

Lelouch took a step back so he was no longer looming. He decided to ignore the last comment, not sure how that was related to him at all. But the other revelation was intriguing. Lelouch expected more of a reaction to the announcement than just interest; it was just another piece of information about Suzaku, like how Suzaku had some kind of tattoo on his neck.

He sighed, going back to his chair and sitting down. He didn't think that just having Suzaku around would work to bring back his memories; he never knew what was going to trigger them. All he got when Suzaku was around was a mess of feelings, most of which he wasn't sure if they came from his past or if they came from his short time of knowing Suzaku. Lelouch was ready to admit that he did enjoy Suzaku's company, that it felt comfortable, but how familiar it felt was probably something to do with his past and he didn't quite know why.

He heard the chair creak as Suzaku stood up, jerking his head up. "Wait. I-" Lelouch swallowed, quickly readjusting his statement. "I should probably get used to you hanging around all of the time."

Suzaku stared at him for a moment before nodding and sinking back into the chair. Lelouch watched him carefully, only reaching for the book as soon as he was sure that Suzaku wouldn't be leaving the room again. For now, Lelouch would be content with that and not delve into why he wanted Suzaku around. That could be left for when he had time to think instead of when he was trying to memorize history and relearn etiquette.

Lelouch opened the book again, finding himself settling easily into the companionable silence between him and Suzaku. The only sound that broke the silence was the rustle of the turning pages. Lelouch applied himself for a few more pages before beginning to sneak glances at Suzaku, surprised to see that the guard didn't seem bored by being told to stay while Lelouch continued to read. Lelouch smiled to himself and lowered his eyes back to his book.


	7. Chapter 6: Just Forgot Romance

**Chapter Six: Just Forgot Romance**

Suzaku sat back and watched as Lelouch was put through another recitation of the children of Charles zi Britannia, finding that he was smiling the longer Lelouch went on without a mistake. Part of him insisted that it was common knowledge; there was no real skill other than memorization needed. But part of him was watching Lelouch's facial expressions and noticing the small changes.

During one of the recitations Lelouch had looked a bit disgusted as he mentioned Clovis' name. It could have been an indication of a dislike of the prince from what he had learned in history, but Suzaku was willing to pretend that it was because Lelouch remembered how Clovis had annoyed him as a kid.

Then there was the fact that the door between their rooms had yet to be shut. Lelouch still said it was to get used to having a guard around, but Suzaku was willing to believe that it was also for companionship. He was sure that Lelouch would have called on one of the other knights if he had preferred their company but Lelouch turned to _him_.

He knew that the evidence for his conclusions was flawed, but he had stopped fighting the part of him that kept insisting that this man wasn't Lelouch. After all, he had admitted to liking having Suzaku around and even Euphemia had agreed to help them on looks alone. Then there were his mannerisms, Suzaku smirking as Lelouch got angry with something that Milly had said, turning away from the blonde and flicking his wrist in a dismissive motion. There was no way a person could imitate Lelouch so perfectly and not be him.

Suzaku was sure that Gino and Kallen would want to run interference at this point. They had only put him with Lelouch to keep him happy, or that would have been Gino's plan. Kallen probably wanted to prove that this wasn't his Lelouch and break him of his obsession, to show that he could live without Lelouch. Suzaku would have scoffed at her logic, because he was managing to fall deeper in love with Lelouch after being around him for four days straight.

Or, he had fallen in love with this version of Lelouch. But even this Lelouch wasn't much of a change from the old Lelouch that Suzaku remembered.

Lelouch was still a bit of a brat, although he had mellowed with age, his distaste kept to his expressions and the way he held his body instead of childish fits. He was still as skinny and delicate as ever, but still as intelligent, to the point where it made up for his fragility.

Suzaku tried to hide his fond smile as Lelouch looked over his way, standing immediately as Lelouch gestured for him to come over. Suzaku took his time walking over to where Milly and Lelouch were, tensing as Milly glanced at his neck. It only took a look from Lelouch to get him to relax again, Lelouch's easy acceptance of his tattoo enough to get him out of the habit of wearing shirts with high collars in private. Suzaku was comfortable in his skin for the first time in a long while and strangely relaxed. The constant urge to find Lelouch was gone because they had found him.

"Listen, I've done this perfectly five times."

"Then you can do it a sixth."

Lelouch shot Suzaku a pleading look, Suzaku just shrugging. Lelouch narrowed his eyes and turned back to Milly. "I'm sure that there are other things that I need to make it through this little interview. Since I already know this, why don't we move on?"

"Well, Kallen isn't going to be getting her for a while, and we need her if you want to learn to dance. Unless you'd be willing to take Suzaku as a dance partner."

Lelouch glanced back at him, Suzaku startled by the split-second hopeful look in Lelouch's eyes. He stared at Lelouch, even when the man turned back to Milly with a derisive snort. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'm just here to correct your position." Milly grinned and gestured to the chairs in the library. "You two get comfortable and I'll see where our knights have gone off to."

"Maybe we can avoid another dance lesson."

Suzaku smiled at Lelouch's grumbling, remembering the awkward lesson yesterday when Lelouch had been forced into position. He and Gino had been laughing on the sidelines as Kallen and Lelouch had tried to dance while touching each other as little as possible. Despite his protests, Lelouch had been passable at the end of the hour, which had finished when Lelouch had stumbled; stepping on Kallen's foot and Kallen had stormed out. It had probably taken Gino a long time to get Kallen to agree to come back.

He automatically took the chair across from Lelouch, a habit from their nights where he would keep Lelouch company as he read or recited bits of history. There were some nights where they would just talk, sometimes about the royal family and what would be expected of Lelouch and sometimes about completely inconsequential things. It was almost like how he and Lelouch had gotten on before their separation, like they had just picked up where they had left off.

That realization had, more than anything else, made him drop his barriers and just let him love Lelouch.

It was probably the worst thing that Suzaku could have done and he was probably going to be heartbroken if any part of their plan failed, but he considered it worth it if he got to have a few glorious days with Lelouch. Here and now, he had found Lelouch. He had fulfilled his promise to Lelouch and all that was left to coax Lelouch's memories back and return his pin. Then he could actually begin to live.

Suzaku leaned forward, abandoning the proper posture for comfort and the ability to be closer to Lelouch. The corner of his mouth twitched up as he saw that Lelouch had settled in a relaxed state of alertness, his legs crossed. Suzaku shook his head, trying to keep the fondness out of his voice.

Apparently, he hadn't been quick enough to make sure that the fondness was gone from his face.

Lelouch snorted and rolled his eyes. "What?"

"Nothing. Just wondering how I could help, _your highness_."

As usual, Lelouch bristled at the title, sitting up a little be straighter and glaring at Suzaku. There was a kind of pleasure in seeing Lelouch react to the title, seeing as he didn't care when anyone else called him that. In private Suzaku would never address him formally. Between the two of them, it had become more of a taunt than a title.

Lelouch quickly got his annoyance under control, his smirk coming back. "The ever helpful Suzaku Kururugi."

"I live to serve."

Lelouch chuckled, shaking his head. "Seeing as I only have you to ask about my childhood, I suppose I could learn more about that." Lelouch leaned forward, abandoning his good posture. "And you were my best friend when I was a kid, so you would know me better than anyone."

Even though Suzaku knew that Lelouch was still essentially playing a part, hearing him talk as he imagined the lost prince would made him smile. Maybe, if Lelouch had time to get used to the idea, it wouldn't be just a role to him, it would be real.

Suzaku chuckled, tipping his head to the side. "Well, we met when we were four and absolutely couldn't stand each other for a year."

Lelouch stared at him for a moment. "Spoiled brat?"

"You were. You were constantly ordering me around and lecturing me on the proper way to do things. Eventually I got fed up and punched you." He noticed Lelouch rubbing his jaw and ignored it. "You went back to Pendragon for a few months and, when you came back in the summer, we were best friends. I like to think I punched some sense into you."

"You would." Lelouch dropped his hand from his jaw, staring at Suzaku. "And that was just it. Our parents allowed us to be friends."

"Well," Suzaku swallowed, "my father was the viceroy of Japan at the time and he was especially close to your father during that time because of the unrest in Japan."

"But that stopped long enough for my mother, my sister and I to live in Japan since Aries Villa burned down."

"Yeah, there was a replica built in Japan. The three of you lived there until…" Suzaku trailed off, looking away.

Lelouch let him sit in silence for a moment. "That doesn't tell me a lot, actually talk about our childhood."

"Would that help your memories?"

Lelouch shrugged. "I'll listen and see what comes up. And, if nothing does, it will get me out of another set of dance lessons with Kallen. Either way, we get something out of it."

Suzaku swallowed at the mention of we, deciding not to question it. He was sure that Lelouch knew what he was doing; the man was far too smart not to notice that Suzaku liked spending time with him. Suzaku was far too weak to deny Lelouch. Even if this wasn't his Lelouch, he couldn't deny him.

He didn't want to classify it as love, it was too soon and to admit it to himself would be too painful. He still loved his Lelouch, he knew that for sure. But, now that he had someone who looked like Lelouch, he was falling in love with them too. Was it just because he liked the way that this Lelouch looked or was it this Lelouch's personality? And what did that say about his love for his Lelouch, was it just a combination of a past friendship like the therapist had said or was it real? It was too complicated for Suzaku to think over. In fact, he preferred not to think about it. It was much easier to just let himself go along with whatever was happening. Right now, he had all he wanted. He had Lelouch and his undivided attention, which was more than he had hoped for.

Besides there was no pressure to think about which Lelouch this one was and his attraction to him. Lelouch had given him permission to talk about their childhood, something Suzaku was completely willing to do. This moment was completely about friendship and nothing more. Suzaku would save the agonizing decisions for when he couldn't sleep or when he wasn't needed. Until then he could just be content in the knowledge that Lelouch was there and safe.

* * *

><p>Gino laughed and poked Kallen's shoulder as they walked into the Ashford mansion. "Come on, it can't be that bad. After yesterday I'm sure he's improved."<p>

She shoved his arm away, Gino amazed that he had gotten away with only that. He was been expected a full on punch. Kallen was never one to pull her punches, especially when they were directed at him. It was an honor, in a way, to know that Kallen thought him strong enough to take whatever she threw at him.

When she refused to mean his gaze again, Gino gently rested his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, did hanging out with the princesses exhaust you that much?"

"It's not that and it's not Lelouch's dancing either. He's better at it than you are." The glare that she shot in his direction make him smile, the expression disappearing a moment later when Kallen looked down at the floor again. "It's a lot of things."

"Is your mother alright?"

"My mother? No, she's fine. Naoto would have called if something had gone wrong." Kallen let him take her coat, Gino suspicious of the easy acceptance of his chivalry.

Usually Kallen would insist on doing things herself. Gino guessed that it was just a habit of independence than anything else. After struggling by herself for so long, Kallen would look at help suspiciously, no matter who it came from.

He supposed the fact that he was a noble of Britannia just complicated the problem. Kallen hated the nobility for hurting the Japanese people when Japan had still been under Britannian control. But most of the nobles in power now were those that wanted the liberation of the Ares, like the Maldini family, or had been given their noble status by Schneizel for their help, like Baroness Nu. But Gino supposed that it was hard for Kallen just to let go of her hatred so easily, especially when there were still nobles who hated her merely because of her nationality.

He took her coat to the rack to one side of the hall, strolling back to her side with his hands in his pockets.

So, if what had Kallen distressed wasn't her mother, then it was something closer to home. Kallen didn't care much for the current affairs or gossip of the court; she just wanted Evelina off the throne. And he had just seen the princesses and Lady Marianne earlier, and they were all fine.

He tipped his head to the side. "Was it something they said yesterday?"

She shot him a look, obviously trying to get him to back off. Gino merely smiled and gestured for her to go ahead.

Kallen huffed and crossed her arms. "Unless you count talking about lingerie disturbing, no."

"Then it's back to Suzaku." Gino grinned, proud that he had managed to come to that conclusion without Kallen getting angry at him. He leaned closer to her. "You know, a guy could get jealous hearing that you're worried over another man."

"You should be too!"

"Nope. I trust Suzaku."

For a moment, Kallen looked like she wanted to strangle him. It passed surprisingly quickly, Kallen grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the library.

Gino went willingly, even snapping his mouth shut when Kallen gestured for him to keep silent. He allowed himself to be pushed into place, staring through the barely open doors into the space beyond.

It didn't take him long to spot Suzaku and Lelouch, the two of them leaning close to each other as they spoke, and Milly was nowhere in sight. Gino couldn't make out what they were saying, but he suspected that he would have been able to get closer to them without a problem, they were that wrapped up in each other; both of them were smiling and laughing. Gino was surprised that Suzaku could laugh like that, like he was actually happy instead of faking it for someone else's sake.

He looked away from the doors, shrugging at Kallen. All he got in response was a groan, Kallen shaking her head. "Why don't you understand how bad this is?"

"Because I trust him."

"But he's falling in love with that guy just because he looks like Lelouch."

"Maybe that's what he needs, just to fall in love with the wrong person and then have to work it all out. Maybe this will turn out to be alright and he'll be able to move on after this."

"But it isn't fair to just use Lelouch like this."

"Then you can warm him." Gino shrugged and leaned against the wall. "Honestly, I think that they both knew what they are getting into."

Kallen threw her hands into the air and stormed off, Gino watching her go. "You can't keep him safe all of his life, Kallen, he's not like you."

"Then who's he like?" Kallen turned to stare at him, walking backward. "You?"

"He's like himself."

She shook her head at him and turned around. "I'm going to find Milly."

Gino watched her go, mentally preparing for her to mad at him for the next few days. But he intended to get rid of her need to protect Suzaku like this. Suzaku would never live up to what Kallen demanded of him, Gino hadn't seen anyone keener on staying anonymous, save for Rolo. Suzaku knew how to take care of himself, they would be there for when he needed them.

Gino pushed himself away from the wall, scratching the back of his neck. The only thing they did agree with Kallen on is that they would have to watch Suzaku carefully when he did hit one of his lows. Gino wasn't sure how much it would take for Suzaku to snap and decided to kill himself instead of continuing to move forward. That would be the point where they interfered. In the meantime, Gino would continue to be there to cheer him up.

He glanced back into the library, not surprised to see Suzaku and Lelouch still completely absorbed in each other. He smiled to himself, giving them a wave before going on his own search for Milly.

* * *

><p>Nunnally looked up from her book at a knock on her door. Before she could put her book down, Rolo was opening the door. She blinked in surprised as she saw her mother standing out in the hallway.<p>

She saw the distressed look on her mother's face and stood up. "Rolo, you are-"

"Let him stay." Marianne walked into the room, sitting in the chair that Rolo pulled over to Nunnally's chair. She whispered her thanks to him before focusing on Nunnally again. "It's nothing that he won't hear soon enough anyway."

Nunnally watched Marianne take a deep breath, frowning to herself as she tried to figure out what could have caused this reversal in mood. Her mother had been fine that morning at breakfast, listening to the stories that Euphemia had been telling and sympathizing with Cornelia over the lack of fashionable practical clothing. Marianne had almost seemed cheerful, like when she had heard that another person had claimed to have found Lelouch. Nunnally swallowed and reached out for her. "Mother?"

Marianne looked up at her, standing up abruptly and hugging Nunnally. "Everyone is fine, nothing happened to them."

Nunnally relaxed at that, letting out a sigh of relief. When bad news came in, it was all too easy to imagine that another body had been identified as a member of the royal family or that Schneizel and his family were dead. Nunnally flinched at the thought, not wanting the image of her smiling nephew marred by death. She couldn't even begin to think of people who would want to kill Prince Simon.

She carefully let go of Marianne, taking a deep breath. "Then what's the news?"

Marianne was slow to answer, Nunnally only then noticing the piece of paper that she clutched in her hand. "The group that was in charge of the massacre, the one with all the members of Genbu Kururugi's government, they're all dead." Nunnally sat up straight, Marianne not noticing. "They were found in a secret base in Narita, all of them shot. There's an investigation going on and arrests of a few of the still living members."

Marianne took a deep breath, glancing at the paper in her hand. "They found a bunch of cells in the complex as well, so now we know where Suzaku was kept."

"Have you told him?"

Marianne shook her head. "I don't want to ruin his week of leave. Despite the fact that those men were in the group there were people involved that knew nothing of the real purpose of the group. Someone that he may have known or had helped him may be dead." She shivered as she spoke, finally unfolding the paper in her hand and smoothed it out over her lap. "My friend was killed as well."

Nunnally sat back in her seat. She knew that her mother had friends outside of the aristocratic class that she kept up with, but she had never thought that any of them had belonged to the group that had killed their family.

Marianne went on, not noticing Nunnally's reaction. "We weren't close friends exactly, but we were both forced into the world of the imperial court with no real desire to be there. We supported each other, both of us doing things our way and expecting the rest of the world to change around us. She just joined so she could disappear from the world. She's the one that found Suzaku." Marianne crumpled up the paper again. "And she was the one looking for information on Lelouch."

Nunnally stared at her mother, unsure of what to day. She barely remembered the woman who had brought Suzaku to them, just the vague memory that the woman had disliked her. Then again, her focus had mostly been on Suzaku at the time.

She glanced back at Rolo, watching as he digested the information. He wouldn't give her his opinion of the situation for a while, and only when she asked. But she was sure that it would be like her view. Rolo hadn't been a part of the panic at the time; he had been safe in England, but she couldn't blame him for that. Nunnally didn't want to imagine what Rolo would have been like if he had lived through the massacre.

Nunnally swallowed and reached out to touch her mother's hand. "At least they're gone now. We don't have to worry about them anymore. We'll issue a statement about those that were involved with the massacre." She hesitated for a moment before squeezing her mother's hand. "We'll make sure that your friend will be treated properly."

Marianne nodded, standing up. Instead of looking as worn and worried as she had before, she looked like her old self again. "I'll inform the others. Although, I'm sure that Jeremiah, Dalton and Guilford will be disappointed that they didn't get their chance to regain their honor."

Nunnally laughed, waving at her mother as Marianne left the room. She hid her smile behind her hand, waiting until her mother had shut the door behind her before she turned to look at Rolo. "Are you disappointed that you didn't get the chance to avenge the wrong done to your family?"

Rolo looked panicked for a moment, staring at her before shaking his head. "No your highness."

"Nunnally or Princess, if you want to use a title." Nunnally corrected him gently, hating the shame that crossed his face.

"No princess, I'm more worried about protecting you." He shifted nervously before lowering his voice. "Lady Marianne said that only a few were killed and caught, that means more are out there."

"Not all of them want to hurt us."

"But not all of them are like that either!" Rolo took a step back from her. "I'm more worried about your safety now. There's no point to any of this if you're dead!"

Nunnally stared at Rolo in shock, watching as he came back to himself. The guard came around to the front of her chair and bowed to her. "I'm sorry, princess, that was out of line."

"No." She rested her hand on his head. "That was just what I needed. I can't forget that there are still people out there that would harm us. But don't forget that there are an equal amount of people who wish us no harm."

"Yes, princess."

Nunnally smiled and lifted her hand from his hair. "Now, I want you to go to Jeremiah and tell him to keep gathering information on this. We'll be sure to watch for those people deemed dangerous. And don't include Suzaku on that list."

She gave him an even stare, glad that he nodded without an argument. He bowed to him and left the room. Nunnally could hear his voice outside, probably ordering guards to watch her while he was gone. Nunnally shook her head and picked up her book again.

The order about Suzaku had probably been overkill, but she had wanted to make sure that this was not a chance to continue his paranoia about Suzaku, not that he had pursued that in years.

Rolo had gotten better about his suspicions of Suzaku being a spy for the group that had killed the royal family. He had stopped insisting on seeing Suzaku's ID and questioning him about his time with the group. Apparently Suzaku had finally proven himself trustworthy, which was a relief to Nunnally. She had not once doubted Suzaku's loyalty. And, if she could have gotten the idea that Suzaku was Lelouch's knight out of her head, she would have made him one of her guards.

She sighed, trying to focus on her book, but her mind was on how everyone would react to the news. She was sure that most of the staff and the imperial court would be overjoyed at the news. Suzaku and Rolo would be the only ones who would think about the continued threat. Nunnally couldn't help but laugh, Rolo and Suzaku were more alike then either of them would probably was willing to admit.

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, staring at the wall. Maybe with the end of this group they would get the final bit of evidence they needed on Lelouch. While Nunnally wanted to know if he was still alive, she would be content with any evidence, even if it showed that he was dead.

Nunnally tried to swallow around the obstruction in her throat. She didn't want her brother to be dead, but she didn't want to spend her days dreading the moment that the news would come. She preferred just knowing and beginning to move on.

She set her book aside, scrubbing her hands over her face. She couldn't be seen crying by Rolo, the guard would panic and then blame himself. She had to be presentable by the time that he got back because keeping Rolo comfortable was important. Keeping Rolo around was important. Nunnally stood up and walked across the room, taking deep breaths so that she was calm when Rolo walked back through the door.

"Nunnally?" It was a sign of his worry that he forgot to add her title.

Nunnally took a final deep breath before turning to face him with a smile on her face. "I'm fine, Rolo. Really."

He gave her a long look, but didn't argue. When she moved to return to her chair and her book, Rolo moved back into his place by her side without a comment, and Nunnally was thankful for that. She could speak to him later about her fears about her brother when the situation arose. Now she just wanted to enjoy his presence and the calm that it brought her.

* * *

><p>Lelouch quickly released his hold on Kallen at the order from Milly, both of them shuffling back from each other. Lelouch expected Kallen to be the first to abandon the ballroom to seek out Gino, like she had the other time they had practiced dancing. She also had been the one to step away from him, putting distance between them as quickly as she could. Today, she remained behind, even when Milly left the room.<p>

He glanced at her, shrugging and walking away. If Kallen wanted to stay behind it was none of his business. He had other things to do, like more memorization that Milly had assigned him.

Lelouch was surprised when Kallen grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. More pressure on his arm encouraged him to turn around. He winced as she gave his arm a particularly hard pull, forcing him to look at her. He met her gaze, expecting that she would want him to be intimidated, but not willing to give her the satisfaction. If he really was a prince then he outranked her.

Kallen didn't seem to notice, glaring at the door before speaking to him in a whisper. "Be careful around Suzaku."

"Why?" They wouldn't have left him with an unstable guard and Suzaku had shown no signs of wanting to hurt him or of breaking down. Just the opposite in fact. He fought down a blush, trying to keep his poise. It was the thing that Milly kept drilling into him; he couldn't show his emotions unless he wanted to be taken advantage of.

His attention was pulled back to the conversation when Kallen pulled on his arm. "Just listen to what I'm saying instead of asking questions."

"Then say what you want to say and get on with it."

"You…" Kallen reached up with her other hand before dropping it back to her side, glaring at him. "I'm only going to say this once, so pay attention. Suzaku thinks he's in love with Lelouch."

"I am Lelouch."

"But you're not _our_ Lelouch!" She dropped her hold on his arm and stepped away. "I know we promised to help you but that doesn't automatically make you the lost prince. Even if everything goes right you won't be the same Lelouch. And that's what I'm warning you about."

Lelouch opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it. It wouldn't do to just go charging in without all of the facts and right now Kallen had the advantage on him. She had information where he did not. And there was a small chance that this warning might be worthwhile instead of idle talk. He snapped his mouth shut and motioned for her to continue, ignoring the angry look on her face.

Kallen pushed her hair out of her eyes, shaking her head. "Listen, Suzaku's been looking for his Lelouch since he got here, looking for the eight year old Lelouch he knew. It's been ten years and he hasn't given that idea up. He's done all he can to make sure that he doesn't have to give that idea up. So, I'm giving you a fair warning, watch yourself with him. You may be the right person, but you won't be his Lelouch. If you don't want to get yourself into that mess, I suggest that you keep away."

Lelouch tipped his head to the side with a smirk, trying not to show how thrown off he was. "And what makes you think that there's anything between us?"

"I have eyes; I can see the two of you just fine." Kallen jerked her head toward the doors. "I think this is the first time you've been without him this week. I could ask Milly to be sure."

"You said I had to get used to a guard following me, so-"

"But there was nothing about making him fall in love with you!"

"I'm not!" Lelouch stepped around her, turning sharply when he heard her move. "Thank you for the warning Lady Kozuki, but I can assure you that I can handle myself."

Kallen's outstretched hand clenched into a fist and dropped back to her side. She looked away from him, shaking her head slowly. "You can ignore me if you want, but don't forget this." Kallen turned to stare at him. "Suzaku will go chasing after the Lelouch he remembers no matter what. If you are Lelouch, then you might have a better chance of holding him. But, if you aren't Lelouch, then you're going to lose him because you're not really the one he's fallen in love with. Either way, you are going to hurt him and I don't want to see the fallout from that. He's barely making it along as it is. Think about that."

Lelouch let her walk to the door and open it before getting out his parting shot, barely keeping himself from screaming it at her. "What makes you think that I will let it get to that point?"

Kallen glanced over her shoulder at him before walking out of the ballroom and slamming the door behind her.

Lelouch shook his head, straightening his sleeve. As a knight of the family and a friend of Suzaku, he should have been able to trust her advice. But he was more annoyed than grateful. He was annoyed at her need to warn him away from Suzaku like he would purposefully hurt him. Suzaku was the closest thing that Lelouch had to a friend, if Lelouch had been willing to let anyone close to him.

Although, in retrospect, it was probably too late to think about keeping Suzaku away. They already spent most of their time together and Lelouch suspected that he knew a bit more about Suzaku than the others because he was constantly encouraging Suzaku to talk about himself. Suzaku obliged because he thought that it would bring Lelouch's memories back, and Lelouch would sometimes get the impression of a voice or a feeling that something was familiar. But Lelouch liked listening to Suzaku talk, mostly because Suzaku talked to him like he was the lost prince, not in the half believing way that everyone else did. Suzaku spoke to him like he had been there, like he had been a part of Suzaku's life.

Lelouch brushed off the sleeve of his shirt with a wry smile. At this point everything was given to him with the expectation that he would do as they wanted, that he would not fail in proving that he was the lost prince. Suzaku's stories were just given with the expectation that he wouldn't act around Suzaku. The request was far easier to fulfill than to wrap his mind around the idea that he was a prince. Despite all of their assurances, it felt a bit too far fetched, except when Suzaku said it. When he was talking to Suzaku it was easier to believe he was Prince Lelouch vi Britannia instead of just another orphan named Lelouch, and that made it easier to talk as if he was the lost prince. Maybe that was why Kallen had warned him off, but it made no sense because they wanted him to be that Lelouch.

He rubbed his forehead, fighting back the groan that threatened to escape. He wouldn't torment himself by agonizing over what Kallen had said. Lelouch sighed and started toward the door, smiling when he saw Suzaku open the door and peek in. "Lelouch?"

"Don't worry; I haven't died in the middle of the waltz. I'm stronger than I look."

That got a laugh from Suzaku, the guard holding the door open for him. "You're braver than I am to dance with her."

"I'd rather it be Milly or Gino. I'm sure that either of them would be suitable." Lelouch snuck a glance over at Suzaku, quickly pushing the comment about Suzaku being a more than adequate dance partner away. Just because Kallen had told him not to push didn't meant that he had to immediately ignore her warning. It was probably best that he scale back on his relationship with Suzaku, especially with the interview with Princess Euphemia coming up. The problem was that he didn't want to.

Maybe there was something left of the spoiled brat he had once been, prince or not, that made him not want to let Suzaku go. In fact, Lelouch was almost taking Kallen's warning as a challenge. It wasn't the smartest idea since he had no sure chance of winning and there was a larger chance that he would get hurt himself, but the urge was still there. So, if he couldn't take Kallen's words as a challenge, then he would take them into consideration.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as Suzaku brushed against him. "Does Milly have anything planned for you?"

"Aside from another stack of books, no. We ate while you and Gino were doing…whatever you two do together."

Suzaku shrugged. "He fills me in on the stuff going on in Pendragon. I shouldn't really care about it because I'll never go to Pendragon, but it's important to know, or at least to guess who will come to visit next."

Lelouch noticed that Suzaku's hand had strayed towards his neck while he spoke, only to jerk it down again. So the mark was something important, enough that Suzaku preferred to stay away from Pendragon, but that was all Lelouch could guess at.

He raised one shoulder in a shrug. "That's the imperial court, impractical at times but important. At least Emperor Schneizel takes more of an interest in the affairs of the empire instead of letting them slip."

"Emperor Charles did the best that he could."

"He could have done better. If he had paid attention then maybe he would have seen the signs of rebellion or he could have prevented the massacre." Lelouch winced as soon as he had spoke, glancing over at Suzaku. From what he had heard, Suzaku had suffered just as much as the royal family, losing his best friend and his father in one night.

Suzaku looked frustrated for a moment, but just shrugged. "Sometimes you see things better in hindsight."

Lelouch hummed softly, not sure if he wanted to agree entirely. The books that he had read seemed to hint that the signs were there before the massacre happened, but Suzaku was right too, sometimes things didn't add up until the end. He bit his lip, moving his hand so his fingers brushed gently against Suzaku's as they walked. As expected, Suzaku blushed and apologized, Lelouch automatically waving him off.

They continued in silence down the hallway, Suzaku carefully to keep distance between them. Lelouch pretended not to notice, heading right to his room and picking up the book on top of his stack. Per their usual pattern, Suzaku sunk into the chair opposite his, apparently content to sit for the few hours that Lelouch would read before getting bored. Then he was more than willing to quiz Lelouch.

Lelouch settled into his chair, fighting the urge to stare over the top of his book at Suzaku. But, even with that limitation, Lelouch found it hard to concentrate

If Kallen hadn't brought up how close they were getting, Lelouch would have never given much thought to him and Suzaku. He would have considered the two of them to be good friends despite the fact that they hadn't known each other long. Lelouch was willing to believe that, in spite of the circumstances, they could have been friends on their own merit. And, if he took into account the fact that he might be the lost prince, they had been best friends for three years previously, so it was only right that they felt comfortable around each other.

Lelouch would have been happy just with that, but now he couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if they pushed further.

He had never gone after anyone with the intention of dating before; he had hardly been interested in anyone at the orphanage. There had been Shirley, but that had been different because he had known her. But it had never gone anywhere, she was too shy to approach him and Lelouch had no idea how to approach the subject. Besides, Lelouch had no idea if he would have been adopted at the time, so there had been no point in starting anything. But he had liked her for the kindness and bursts of intelligence, the others had just been pretty but of no interest.

Suzaku was definitely attractive, Lelouch would admit to that, with his perpetually messy hair and his green eyes. Lelouch had never been partial to muscles before but, then again, he had never looked at guys before, he didn't have a basis to go off of. So Suzaku essentially became a measure for himself.

In the end, it was Suzaku's personality that had drawn Lelouch in. Suzaku could be a bit dense, but he could also be insightful and intelligent. Then there was the fact that Suzaku just gave without any expectations of payback. He was the one who would spend the most time with Lelouch of his own volition and he wanted Lelouch to succeed, not matter if he turned out of to be the lost prince or not.

All in all, the essential parts of Suzaku hadn't changed. He had grown up well.

Lelouch smiled fondly to himself, the smile disappearing a moment later. The thought had come from out of nowhere, a completely sincere but random thought. Lelouch had heard about Suzaku's life before he had become a guard but that was from listening to Suzaku. That wasn't enough for the emotions behind that one stray thought.

He frowned and put his book down. He wouldn't be able to concentrate until he figured this thing out, which was probably better done when he was alone. The problem was that he didn't want Suzaku to leave quite yet.

He looked up when he felt Suzaku's stare on him, quickly cutting off the question that Suzaku was going to ask with one of his own. "What did you think about your Lelouch?"

"I…what?"

Lelouch sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I know that you two were good friends and that you want to find him because of that. But why haven't you-" Lelouch cut himself off before he could say 'give up like the others', clearing his throat and starting again. "Of course you would look for him, but you could be in Pendragon with more power to back your searches. You could have other people looking in separate places. Why are you doing this yourself?"

Suzaku blinked rapidly, mouthing the final question before he smiled. "Because I don't want to be stuck there when he's finally found. I want to be able to be there for him."

"_Why aren't you with your father?"_

_A shrug. "Because I want to be here with you."_

"Idiot." Lelouch tensed at the sound of his own voice, unconsciously repeating the word from his memory. He blushed and looked up at Suzaku.

The guard looked startled, Suzaku already partially out of his chair. After a moment of silence Suzaku got to his feet.

He went to walk past Lelouch and into his own room, but Lelouch reached out to grab his hand. To Lelouch's surprise, Suzaku let him; their fingers sliding together to the point where all Lelouch had to do was curl his fingers down to slide them together. He swallowed and looked back up at Suzaku, fumbling for a way to apologize.

Suzaku beat him to it. "He would have said that too. Lelouch was always calling me an idiot, but I don't think that he ever meant it. Maybe it was his attempt at a term of endearment. He was never good at showing his emotions without getting flustered." Suzaku chuckled and took a step back, meeting Lelouch's gaze. "I know that I've probably ruined my career by doing this, but I want to be there when they find him. I've spent every day since the massacre regretting that I didn't go with him, because I could have done something. This is my way of making sure that I don't lose anyone important to me again."

Suzaku took another step away, their hands sliding apart. He didn't shut the door between their rooms when he went into his room and Lelouch didn't think that he could go near the door without asking more questions. He had understood what Suzaku had said, but he wanted to push now to see if Suzaku would even consider him in any sort of capacity other than a friend.

He let his head drop into his hands, closing his eyes. Suzaku had said that he didn't want to lose anyone important to him. If he and the lost prince had just been friends, or Suzaku still thought of him as only a friend, Lelouch was sure that he would have used a different word. And that would end up being the problem.

On one hand, Lelouch wanted desperately to be proven the lost prince. He wanted something to his name other than a handful of scattered memories. He wanted to have something to call his own that meant something, something that gave him what everyone that already had.

On the other hand, Lelouch knew that it was a slim chance that he would turn out to be the lost prince. He was a logical person and it was too much of a stretch that it would come out exactly as he wanted. He was just an orphan from Japan in the end. If he was lucky he would be the bastard son of some lesser prince, but that was all that he could hope for. And, in that eventuality, he wasn't anything that would get him what he wanted.

Lelouch reached up, playing with the chain of his locket, slowly pulling the charm out from under his shirt. He stared at the locket for a moment before letting it drop back to his chest. The locket was the only thing that threw off his calculations entirely.

It was obviously worth something and the people running the orphanage said that he had been found with it. He couldn't remember stealing it, but Lelouch doubted that he would have still had the locket if he had, someone would have come looking for it. Besides, it was obviously a girl's locket. Lelouch doubted that a boy would have wanted a locket like that.

He pulled up the charm and cupped it in his hands. He couldn't remember who had given it to him or where he had gotten it from. He just knew that he was attached to it, that he had to keep it close until…something, but he had to keep it safe until then.

Lelouch tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. Now, more than ever, the holes in his memory were annoying. He wanted to be able to remember so he would have a firm assurance that he was in the right place and he wasn't wasting everyone's time. Most of all though, he wanted to know for Suzaku's sake, because Suzaku had suddenly become important. Very important.

It was hard to separate the vague emotions from his past and his emotions now, to the point where they blended together. He just knew that he trusted Suzaku and enjoyed his company. The attraction was new, definitely something that came from spending time with him. Except that didn't make sense either, because it had been about a week at most, usually it took longer. But it had been so easy just to interact with Suzaku, like he was coming back to a friendship.

Lelouch pushed himself up, wanting to pace but stopping himself when he realized that it would bring him in front of the door. He began playing with the chain around his neck again, trying to calm himself down. Working himself up about the situation wouldn't help at this point. He would just have to deal with on his own. But that didn't mean that he would just let this thing with Suzaku go. Even with Kallen's warning, he would pursue Suzaku because he wanted to, because Suzaku had suddenly became important to him.


	8. Chapter 7: In the Dark of the Night

**Warning: **not completely explicit sex

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven: In the Dark of the Night<strong>

Mao lowered his camera, letting it hang around his neck as he looked around. The tour guide continued to talk, rushing them through the town near the castle. Mao frowned as they were ushered away from the castle itself. Since there were royals in residence they wouldn't be going close to the castle at all, even the gardens and chapel were off limits.

Of course the royal family was always in residence. The castle had been a gift to Britannia when Charles had married his second wife, a show of respect between the prime minister of England and the emperor of Britannia and a recognition of their shared past. It had been intended for Lady Delphia and her daughter, Guinevere. But neither of them had used the castle and, after the events at the Aries Villa, Guinevere had preferred to stay in Pendragon. So Marianne had taken the castle.

The thought of Marianne vi Britannia in the same house as his target made him smile. It would be a challenge now, something more that just mere revenge. He looked forward to this job. The problem was in getting inside and to his target.

Thus far he had seen the knights that had accompanied the boy. Unfortunately, he had yet to see the boy since he had gotten to England. He had seen Lady Kozuki with the princesses the day before when they had been out in London and he had seen Lord Weinberg on one of his early visits to the castle and village, but no sign of Suzaku Kururugi or the boy. That in itself was frustrating, as it had nearly been a week since they had arrived.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying not to look impatient. He needed the time and the ability to move around without being seen as suspicious. If he looked too eager or was too nervous, he would fail. At this point, that was not an option. The news that the Geass Order was essentially dead had spread around the world. The emperor had made a point on speaking about the demise of the group, but Mao hadn't paid Schneizel any attention, he had been waiting to see what Marianne would say.

To his disappointment, she had said very little, merely seconding the statement made by Schneizel. Even with Marianne and the three princesses in residence, Mao hadn't seen anyone new beside them or heard anything from the gossip in the town. Jeremiah was still Marianne's most trusted knight, Nunnally and Euphemia still only had guards that watched over them and Dalton was settling into his place as Cornelia's knight. The only news that he had heard was the plan that Dalton had to create a small group of guards to serve Cornelia when she finally decided to take up residence in one place and that was hardly anything new. Most royals formed their own group of guards that would follow them for the rest of their lives. But the fact that it was rumored to be made up of orphans made Mao curious.

With that news in mind, the boy he was following was either somehow related to the royal family or one of the orphans chosen for Dalton's guards. Either way, it was going to be hard to get him out of the house. Mao allowed himself to drift toward the end of the group that he was following, raising his camera to look at the castle. Behind him, the guide continued to talk about the history of the castle, Mao ignoring her in favor of looking for ways to get in.

There was little chance he would be able to sneak into the castle under the guise of new help; the guards would be on high alert now that the leaders of the Geass Order had been found dead. The investigation into finding others involved in the Geass Order was in full swing so anyone coming into the castle would get a full background check, which he would immediately fail. He had no background, no cover for this operation. Then again, those had always been manufactured for him before. He had just gone in after he had been given a basic plan.

Mao snapped a few more pictures of the castle before turning to look at the garden and the top of the chapel that was visible over the bushes. He took a couple of pictures of that before considering the garden. It would be a good place to hide, especially at night when there would be plenty of shadows to hide in. Escape would be easy too, just as simple as finding a place to slip out of the garden and then run to his hotel. Mao would be on a flight back to Japan by the time the news got out. And, by the time the searches were expanded outside of England, Mao would be in Australia, setting up the house he and C.C. would have lived in if he had been quicker to convince her to leave with him.

He lowered his camera again, tipping his head to the side as he studied the chapel. Whatever the case was, he would have to lure his target out, which was done easily enough. All he had to do was to find the one thing that would send the boy running. Surprisingly, that was more easily done now that he was in England. A part of Dalton's guard or not, he would have met one of the princesses and he would be willing to protect him. Even if the boy was not, Mao was sure that Lady Marianne wouldn't let any of them princesses die, no matter what the demands were. It was all a matter of getting to one of the princesses and holding them hostage long enough to get what he wanted.

He smiled to himself, letting himself sink back into the tour group. The plan was simple enough and could be quickly done, he was proud of himself for figuring it out. Of course, C.C. would be able to point out the problems in his plan, she always had before when he had reported in to the Geass Order that he was at the target and had outlined his plan. Now he would just have to remember what she had told him before and use it. The two most important things to remember were to be clean and quick, his kill had to be both for him to get out of this situation alive. Mao could do clean and quick, he had done them before on his other missions.

Satisfied with the information he had gathered, Mao trailed after the group as the tour guide led them back to their starting point. He would sit back for a while longer, just to see what action Marianne vi Britannia would take before starting and he would hold himself to that plan despite his impatience. He had left orders with the people at the crematory; they wouldn't be giving C.C. away before he had returned for her. He only had to remind himself that it would only be a few more days, a simple thing in the end to destroy the thing that had led to C.C's death. Mao could be patient for a few more days

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><p>Suzaku watched as Kallen and Lelouch waltzed around the room under Milly's instruction, but his mind wasn't on the two dancers, it was on the conversation with Lelouch from the night before. Suzaku supposed that it was his own fault for getting so used to Lelouch referring to himself as if he was the lost prince, that was the only thing he could think of that would have thrown him off so completely. He wanted to think he would have handled it better if Lelouch had asked 'What do you think about me' instead of 'What did you think about your Lelouch.' At least he hoped that he would have handled it better.<p>

Suzaku supposed that part of this was his own fault; he had been allowing himself to just assume that this Lelouch was the right Lelouch. But wasn't that what they were supposed to be doing? He knew that both Gino and Kallen were partially counting on him to identify this person as Lelouch. That in itself wasn't quite fair because he was expected to hold himself away from Lelouch as well, even though they knew how he felt. Even knowing this he hadn't argued about his role and he had enjoyed the job, at least until he had been forced to separate his Lelouch and this Lelouch again.

He had answered Lelouch's question as best as he could, even with his unease and confusion. That eight year old spoiled brat of a prince had been the most important person in his life at the time. His greatest regret was still letting Lelouch leave because he could think of many things he could have done to save him. He had done nothing spectacular but allowed someone important to him to slip away. Suzaku went to reach for his pin, forcing his hand away a moment later. He swallowed and focused on the two dancers.

This was good training to be a knight, practice on keeping his attention on his prince and everything around him, no matter what he was doing. Suzaku shifted a bit, glancing at Gino before allowing himself to slump. He wanted to be able to concentrate on his job, but the question that Lelouch had asked kept bothering him.

If Lelouch had asked what Suzaku had thought about him, the answer would have been completely different. Suzaku couldn't quite say that he loved Lelouch, not like he loved his prince, but he wanted Lelouch. It was frightening how close they had gotten in the few days they had spent together. They were friends, Suzaku was sure of that, but there was a chance that they could be more and that was probably what scared him the most. He was comfortable in his love for Prince Lelouch and his friendship with Lelouch, but the thought that he could be falling in love with someone else was frightening and felt a bit like betrayal.

Suzaku frowned. It wasn't like he had remained celibate while he had searched for Lelouch. He had been in the barracks as a teenager, surrounded by willing partners and running on hormones. Despite his experience, Suzaku had ever been in a lasting relationship, mostly because everyone knew that he wouldn't allow one to develop and that he was obsessed with finding Lelouch.

Before, that lifestyle had been fine with him. Now Suzaku wasn't sure what he wanted. He wanted his prince back safe and wanted to serve him in all capacities, but he also didn't want to just let this Lelouch go. At least, not before he had managed to figure out what this was between the two of them. Part of him was afraid of just what that pursuit would lead him to.

The sound of Milly clapping her hands made him jump, Gino shooting him a worried look. He gave Gino a shaky smile, hoping that would be enough to throw Gino off. He could only hope that Gino would be too busy trying to make up for something he had done and that Gino would leave him alone. The last thing he wanted was someone else's help with this. Gino would just give him an answer and Kallen would try to use it as a chance to change him. They both meant well, but it wasn't what Suzaku wanted.

He straightened up as Kallen and Lelouch broke apart, snickering at the disgusted look on both of their faces. At least that was the same day to day, along with the smile that Lelouch gave him. Suzaku returned the smile before tensing. They had fallen into a pattern over the last few days; one that Suzaku had never had any problem with until now. Before he had enjoyed the touches between them because it was Lelouch, because he hadn't even thought that this Lelouch could be the wrong Lelouch. Now he had reached the stage that the others had reached within moments of finding Lelouch at Aries Villa. There was a small chance that they were the same person, but there was a greater chance that they weren't.

Suddenly Suzaku couldn't stand the smile or the brief touches that would come. He swallowed and walked out of the room, forcing himself not to run. From behind him he heard Lelouch call his name, but he didn't stop.

He strode through the hall, heading for his room. He could count on Gino and Kallen to stall Lelouch for a while, although he was sure that Lelouch didn't deserve the talking down that Kallen was going to give him. It was no one's fault for this situation but his own. He had been the one unwilling to listen to the warnings of his friends and had allowed himself to just believe this Lelouch and his prince were the same. Perhaps it would have been better if this Lelouch hadn't been able to act like the lost prince, hadn't been able to get every nuance that Suzaku remembered exactly right. It would have been better if the movements had looked stiff and drilled instead of natural. So Suzaku, being the idiot that he was, had just assumed that it was further proof that this was the right Lelouch. The problem was that he couldn't be sure. He would have followed his hopeful conclusion and probably would have until the interview with Euphemia if not for Lelouch's question.

Now that they were totally separated in his mind, Suzaku doubted that he could ever be able to think about them as the same person again. People changed all the time without traumatic events to force the chance, so why had he assumed that Lelouch would be the same? After all, he had changed from the bold little boy who had always been too eager to solve everything with a fight instead of talking. He now bowed his head and followed orders without question instead of arguing before finally giving in. Instead of trying to stand out in a crowd, he hid in it. Anyone looking for him on the knowledge of his personality as a child would be thoroughly confused and probably slip right over him because they were looking for the son of Genbu Kururugi instead of Suzaku Kururugi, guard to Marianne vi Britannia.

Suzaku shivered as he reached for the door. Knowing that, it was entirely possible that they had missed Lelouch, a thought that Suzaku didn't want to entertain for too long. It wouldn't matter anyway, especially if their gamble here failed. There wouldn't be any authorized searches and Suzaku wouldn't be able to bring anyone that he found to Marianne and Nunnally.

He sighed, pulling the door open with more force than necessary and letting it slam shut behind him. He stared at his feet for a moment before leaning back against the door, rubbing his hands over his face. For now the best thing for him to do would be to distance himself from Lelouch, to make sure that he didn't forget again. If that didn't work, he would request to be removed from his duty here, there were plenty of trusted guards to do it. Suzaku reached up to rub his neck. He had promised himself that he would search for Lelouch and continue his whole life if he had to. Whether Lelouch was dead or alive, Suzaku intended to keep his promise and return the pin.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made him look up. Lelouch was standing in the doorway between their rooms, arms crossed over his chest. Suzaku flinched and looked away, dropping his hand away from his neck.

"Kallen thinks that this is something I did."

"I'll talk to her about-"

"Is it?" Suzaku looked up, watching as Lelouch slumped against the doorframe. "Because I feel like I have a right to know. I don't want to have to order you to tell me the answer."

"It's nothing you've done."

"Then what is it?" Lelouch walked across the room, coming to a stop right in front of Suzaku. "Because now I've got Gino and Kallen breathing down my neck for damaging you. I'm sure Milly will be joining them soon."

Suzaku opened his mouth to answer, snapping it shut when Lelouch glared at him. "I want to know, Suzaku."

"It's nothing you've done, I can swear on that." He attempted a smile, sure that it looked as strained as it felt. "It's nothing to worry about, Lelouch."

"Nothing to-" Lelouch took a couple of steps back, looking like he was going to start pacing. Instead, he trembled in place, Suzaku not sure if Lelouch was going to punch him or not. He jumped when Lelouch finally spoke. "Idiot! How could you even think that when I…I…"

Lelouch looked at him strangely for a moment, giving Suzaku enough time to find the doorknob, before he stepped forward. Suzaku twisted his wrist, feeling the knob turn as he waited for Lelouch to make his move, trying to ignore how close Lelouch was.

The only warning that Suzaku got was a muttered "Idiot" before Lelouch was kissing him.

Suzaku's first reaction was to freeze, trying to process the fact that he was getting kissed at the same time as she started to catalogue the ways to get away from Lelouch with the least amount of harm. He managed to keep himself from attacking immediately, instead sliding his hand up to Lelouch's shoulder and gently pushing. It only took one push for Lelouch to yield, Lelouch sighing against Suzaku's mouth before taking a step back. It was only then, as Suzaku was gathering himself back together, that he realized that the kiss had only been chaste, just the pressure of their lips against each other.

Suzaku let go of Lelouch's shoulder, still too shocked to actually speak. He allowed Lelouch to catch his hand, watching the other warily. Lelouch made no move to kiss him again, just staring at the floor as he loosely held Suzaku's hand in his own. Sure that there wasn't a threat, Suzaku let go of the doorknob, the door clicking shut behind him.

Lelouch looked up at the sound, blushing but not looking ashamed. He let go of Suzaku's hand and took a step back.

At a loss of what to do, Suzaku licked his lips. "We don't know each other."

"I know that." Lelouch glanced away, staring at the bed. "I know that this makes no sense and that no one would approve because they would think I'm taking advantage of you."

Suzaku shook his head, not quite sure how to respond, not when the only thing on his mind was to kiss Lelouch again, because it was Lelouch. Suzaku sighed, taking a step to the side so he wouldn't be pinned against the door again if Lelouch moved toward him. "I would be taking advantage too."

Lelouch stared at him for a moment before muttering a curse. "I should have known. You did say that he was important to you, but I was too big of a…" Lelouch cleared his throat. "Right. I'm glad that we got that settled."

He turned to leave, Suzaku letting him go. It was better that they did this, that Suzaku let him walk away right now. Then Lelouch would be able to tell Kallen without hesitation that he had not done anything to Suzaku. Then everything would return back to normal, Lelouch would go back to his quick training to be a prince and Suzaku would go back to standing against the wall and just watching.

Suddenly, watching didn't have the appeal that it had before. Watching implied that he would still be waiting around for something that he wasn't sure was going to come anymore. For the others he would put on a smile and suggest that they look in one more place, but it was getting harder to smile, harder to keep himself going. Their search in Japan had showed him that. He wasn't going to give up, but it was getting harder to keep himself going for the next day.

And then there was Lelouch, the one who didn't seem to mind everything that Suzaku was. He had seen the tattoo on Suzaku's neck and thought nothing of it. It didn't matter what Lelouch he was, all that mattered was the person that had been by his side for almost week. Having someone who looked at him and didn't try to fix him was a new experience and Suzaku liked it, preferred it to the overprotective tendencies of his friends.

Without thinking, he reached out to grab Lelouch, pulling him back. To his surprise, Lelouch went without a struggle, allowing himself to be dragged back in front of Suzaku. For a moment, Suzaku was tempted to jerk his hand away and go back to where he knew he was safe. Instead, he tightened his grip slightly, worried when Lelouch just sighed.

"You're sending me mixed signals."

"I know, but I just want…"

Lelouch shook his head. "You know that I might not be the prince. Your best friend could still be out there and you'll regret being with me."

"That's not…" Suzaku swallowed. "I don't care about that."

"Your prince was important to you."

"I know! But he's not here and I just need-" He cut himself off when he realized that he was yelling, taking a moment to swallow. When he was sure that he was in control of himself, Suzaku spoke again. "I've tried on my own, but there are days when I wake up and think that it would be easier to die, that if I died then everything would be alright because I've made up for everything that I've done. Or, maybe, that it would be easier in the end because then everything wouldn't hurt. And they've been happening more often and I'm scared that one day I'll just decide to die instead of going through another day."

He jerked himself away from Lelouch, cradling the hand that he had used to grab onto Lelouch. He hadn't meant to say all of that, it was meant to stay in his head. No one was allowed to know what he really thought because it would make them worried and uncomfortable, Suzaku didn't want to have his friends worrying about him, especially over his small problems. They could guess and suspect, but Suzaku would just smile and act the part of a happy man, and that was usually enough to put them off. But to have actually spoken about it meant that someone knew and someone would try and fix him when he didn't want to be fixed. There was nothing _wrong_ with him; he was just tired of failure.

Suzaku grunted as Lelouch pulled him into a hug, only aware that he was trembling when Lelouch tightened his hold on him. Suzaku swallowed and pressed his head against Lelouch's shoulder, flinching when Lelouch buried a hand in his hair and pulled him close. "That's not going to happen. I won't let it."

"Lelouch, that…that wasn't what I wanted to say." He winced when Lelouch's grip tightened, carefully reaching back to try and pry Lelouch's fingers from him. "It's nothing to worry about, seriously."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Lelouch tightened his hold, Suzaku biting his lip to keep from yelping in pain. "Lelouch, you've got bigger things to worry about."

"No I don't." Lelouch looked up at him, Suzaku rocking backward as far as Lelouch's hold would allow. He had never seen Lelouch look angry, annoyed and bored, but never angry. He tried to squirm away, Lelouch not letting him go. "No, you're staying here. I'm not letting you go because then you might do something stupid."

"I haven't."

"That doesn't mean you won't." Lelouch let go of his hair, looking like he was going to shove Suzaku away for a moment. Instead, Lelouch just shifted his hold. "You know what it feels like to lose your best friend. Are you willing to put someone else through that?"

Suzaku stared at him, trying to process what Lelouch was saying while fighting the urge to pull away from Lelouch. "I wouldn't, Lelouch. I wouldn't."

That finally got Lelouch to release him, Lelouch looking shaken. Suzaku carefully reached up to touch his shoulder, surprised when Lelouch slumped. "It doesn't make any sense, but you're important to me. I don't know if it's just as a friend or if I want it to be more." Lelouch chuckled, Suzaku hating how hollow it sounded. "But that doesn't matter, because you're still too much in love with your prince."

Suzaku growled and leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm not thinking about him right now. I'm thinking about you."

"You mean the prince that you guys are training me up to be."

"No, I mean you, the Lelouch I've spent this week with." Suzaku scooted closer, ignoring the small thread of panic that kept reminding him that this wasn't his Lelouch. It wasn't, Suzaku knew that, and he didn't care. He just wanted to be with Lelouch, the one who had spent the week with him, the one that he had become friends with. "Don't act, don't be either of them. Just be you."

He didn't give Lelouch time to answer, leaning forward to kiss him. Lelouch tensed up, just as Suzaku thought he would. Suzaku took the chance to scoot forward, wrapping an arm around Lelouch's shoulders. He expected Lelouch to push him away and start another argument or run away. He was fully prepared to have to chase after Lelouch. He didn't want him to get away, especially before they had a time to talk about this.

To his surprise, Lelouch didn't run, he just clutched at Suzaku. Suzaku pulled back, staring at him. Now Lelouch would shout at him for taking advantage or sending mixed signals. He swallowed nervously, about to apologize when Lelouch pulled him close. Suzaku shivered as Lelouch tucked his head under his chin. "Don't you dare, not after that."

"Alright."

"Now, tell me what you want to do. And you'll have to stick to it."

Suzaku nodded, glancing at the bed before looking at the floor. "I want to try whatever you want to try."

He didn't get a chance to specify that it didn't matter to him which Lelouch it was, Lelouch was already leaning forward to kiss him. Suzaku let go with one hand, using it to brace himself against the floor as Lelouch pressed against him. He hadn't expected Lelouch to try and crawl into his lap after this, he had expected an argument, he had been looking forward to an argument.

"Lelouch…"

"No. I don't want to give you the chance to change your mind." Lelouch growled as Suzaku leaned back. "You're not getting away from me this time."

Suzaku smirked, pushing up off of the floor. Lelouch stayed firmly in his lap, trying to kiss Suzaku as Suzaku tried to stand up. He laughed, finally catching hold of Lelouch's chin to stop him. He managed to keep Lelouch still for a moment more before Lelouch was standing up, tugging at his arm.

Suzaku stood up under Lelouch's persistent tugging, allowing himself to be pulled over to the bed. He agreed with Lelouch's need to move quickly, he didn't want to have the time to think over what he was doing. When he was in a panic, he tended to over think things and then withdraw himself from the situation to make sure that he didn't end up doing something wrong. Above all things, Suzaku preferred to keep the status quo, even if things didn't turn out in his favor. But to do that here would be a mistake, it would probably lead to him losing Lelouch for good, and that was something that he never wanted to contemplate.

They fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, Suzaku surprised when Lelouch twisted to pin him down. He made one half hearted attempted to roll them, stopping when Lelouch pressed down against him. Suzaku gave up his attempt quickly after that, turning his attention to trying to direct Lelouch to kiss him instead of kissing his neck.

It had been so long since the last time Suzaku had allowed himself to do this, he wanted to make sure that it would last, be worth something until the next time. It was a selfish thought, but Suzaku felt like he was entitled to it. This was the one case where denying himself would just make things worse.

Suzaku finally succeeded in getting Lelouch attention away from his neck, slipping a hand into Lelouch's hair to hold him in place. Suzaku smirked into the kiss, letting his other hand drop to rest on Lelouch's stomach, taking advantage of the way Lelouch's shirt had ridden up to run his fingers over the strip of skin exposed.

Lelouch gasped against his mouth, Suzaku using the moment to push his tongue into Lelouch's mouth, moving his hand to Lelouch's hip and drawing him closer. He only got a blissful moment of a deeper kiss before Lelouch was pushing away. Suzaku whined and tried to kiss him again, Lelouch holding him off. Lelouch glared at him, the effect ruined by the way that he was panting. "Stop teasing me, Suzaku."

"Teasing?"

Lelouch snorted, sitting up on the bed. Suzaku hesitated before propping himself up, waiting for Lelouch to speak. Lelouch glanced at Suzaku, rubbing his arm nervously. "I've…I've never done this before. And don't you dare laugh."

Suzaku shook his head, licking his lips. Lelouch had never done this before, that was surprisingly arousing and a bit daunting. He preferred to be a little rough in sex, just because it was easier to lose himself that way. But he couldn't do that to Lelouch, prince or no prince. Suzaku smiled to himself, reaching over to rest his fingers on Lelouch's cheek.

"Alright then." He trailed his fingers down Lelouch's cheek to his neck. He paused at the collar of Lelouch's shirt. "We'll go as slowly as you want."

Lelouch trembled but he didn't say anything. Suzaku took that as permission to continue, reaching down to pull Lelouch's shirt off. He sat back to pull his own shirt off, freezing in place when Lelouch pressed a hand against Suzaku's chest.

Suzaku held still as Lelouch traced over the muscles on his chest and abdomen, watching the blush that grew as Lelouch continued. Suzaku smiled and reached down to press his hand over Lelouch's, holding them both there on his stomach. He felt Lelouch shiver, about to reach for Lelouch's pants when Lelouch leaned forward and nuzzled his neck.

He tried to jerk away, surprised when Lelouch caught him and held on. The two of them fell back to the bed, Lelouch on top and clinging to Suzaku. Suzaku tried to squirm away, gasping when that just made Lelouch rub against him. He glanced down at the top of Lelouch's head before tipping his own up, trying to get Lelouch away from his neck. The motion got a growl from Lelouch. "No running."

"Lelouch, you're-" He cut himself off as he saw Lelouch glance down at the tattoo on his neck. Suzaku swallowed and looked away.

He flinched when Lelouch kissed his neck, not surprised when Lelouch pushed away from him. He was surprised when Lelouch turned his head, Suzaku opening his eyes to stare at Lelouch. He held Lelouch's gaze as Lelouch traced the tattoo, trying not to flinch away again.

Lelouch sighed and let go of his face, draping himself over Suzaku again. "I don't care about it. I know you hate it, but I don't care."

Suzaku shut his eyes as Lelouch leaned over again, unable to stop himself from wrapping his arms around Lelouch's shoulders and holding him there. Suzaku felt Lelouch pause again, about to urge him on when he felt Lelouch gently bite his neck. He moaned bucking up against Lelouch, his breath hitching when Lelouch rubbed against him. He shifted his grip to Lelouch's hips, pressing Lelouch against him as he moved.

He would have liked nothing more than to be kissing Lelouch as they rutted against each other, but Lelouch was focused on his neck; first kissing and biting, which turned into nuzzling. Still conscious of Lelouch's proximity to his tattoo, Suzaku shifted, intending to get Lelouch away from it. Instead, he only managed to shift so his erection was pressed against Lelouch's thigh, one of his legs slipping between Lelouch's.

Lelouch keened at that, breaking up their established rhythm. Suzaku could only bite his lip to prevent a similar sound from escaping him and hook his foot around Lelouch's calf to keep Lelouch from moving.

He tried to gently coax Lelouch back into their old rhythm, but he was far too aware of the hard press of Lelouch's erection against his leg and how good it felt to rub up against Lelouch. Then there was the heat between the two of them and the way that Lelouch's vague attempts at attention to his neck were starting to feel good.

Suzaku moaned, reaching up to push one hand into Lelouch's hair and hold Lelouch against his neck. He didn't hear a complaint, just a muffled moan. Suzaku turned his head so his cheek was pressed against Lelouch's hair, clutching him close.

He took a deep breath, trying to keep himself in control so he could last a bit longer. His plan failed as he caught the scent of sweat and a slightly floral smell from Lelouch. That and a high pitched whine of his name that Lelouch gave was enough to send him over the edge, Suzaku clutching at Lelouch as he came.

Suzaku slumped against the bed a moment later, already loosening his grip when Lelouch whined, pressing hard against him. Suzaku glanced down at Lelouch, smiling to himself as he nuzzled Lelouch's hair. "Lelouch…"

No further encouragement was needed, Lelouch moaning his name as he came. Suzaku wrapped his arms around Lelouch, holding him as Lelouch rode out his orgasm. He loosened his hold when Lelouch slumped, using the hand that he had buried in Lelouch's hair to straighten out the strands there. He was in no hurry to push Lelouch off of him and then go their separate ways. There was a kind of comfort in the warm weight of Lelouch on top of him and the slightly exhausted feeling that came with his own orgasm. It was enough to make him want to fall asleep right then.

Suzaku forced himself to stay awake, managing a sleepy smile when Lelouch looked up at him, Lelouch looking equally as bleary. Suzaku kissed Lelouch's forehead before scooting out from under him, using the opportunity to strip out of his pants and underwear. He knew that he would be more comfortable if he cleaned off completely, some semen still drying on his stomach, but Suzaku was too tired to care. He just wanted to cuddle up to Lelouch and sleep as opposed to his usual need to leave as soon as he got his breath back. And he was in no mood to analyze why he felt that way, chalking it up to knowing Lelouch better than he had known his other short flings.

Suzaku fumbled with the button on the front of Lelouch's pants, getting them undone and then nudging Lelouch until he lifted his hips, allowing Suzaku to slide the rest of Lelouch's clothes off. Suzaku tucked Lelouch under the covers, sliding in after him.

He expected Lelouch to curl up on his side of the bed, surprised when Lelouch snuggled up to him, tucking his head under Suzaku's chin. Suzaku stared down at him before shrugging it off, pulling the covers up over them and closing his eyes. He wasn't sure if he just imagined the kiss that Lelouch pressed against his tattoo, already drifting off to sleep with his arms wrapped around Lelouch.

* * *

><p><em>The sound of gunshots and screaming echoed in the stairwell as he ran up the stairs. He threw a glance over his shoulder, not wanting to pause and look back. If he did, he would end up like the others who had been left behind, either because they had run into the fray or had been too stupid not to run. He didn't know how many were dead now; he had turned to run after the first man had died, a looming behemoth of a man who toppled slowly, like a statue being pulled down. Somehow, just watching that man die didn't make sense, he had been too big, too great to die because of something as small as a bullet.<em>

_But the man had, which was why he had turned and run. There were others there to make sure that the people shooting wouldn't get further in, they had the advantage of numbers after all. But maybe there was an advantage is desperation that he had not considered. It was the only reason that he could think of that would allow for the fact that the gunshots were getting closer._

_He tripped over one of the stairs, catching himself on his hands and pushing up. A glance up showed that he hadn't lost the person in front of him; the woman that he had followed after the great man had fallen. He gritted his teeth and pushed himself up, stumbling back into a run again._

_He couldn't lose this woman; doing so would mean that he would die. He didn't know why, but this wasn't the place or the time for logical thought, his whole focus was on escaping. The woman knew this place better than he did, despite the fact that some of the doors looked familiar. He might have been able to escape by himself, but the walls kept flickering between brightly painted to old and peeling with spider webs gathering in the corners. It was no wonder he felt disoriented and lost. He knew his way out of here, but only if things were steady, if they were stable. He was no use in a panic._

_That was the reason for the woman. She knew where she was going. He didn't know her, he hadn't even been able to see her face the entire time they had been running, but he felt that she knew the way out. Since the exits on the ground floor were probably guarded or flooded with people trying to escape, he would rely on the woman to take him to the other exit that he knew was up here. The problem was that he couldn't remember where it was, all he knew that it was in a room, a room that held something very important._

_He followed the woman as she turned down a hall, having to drift out a bit wide around the turn to avoid her skirts. He glanced down to make sure that he wouldn't step on her dress, his mind filled with warnings and teasing threats that he was sure that he had gotten before his whole world had turned to hell. He was about to look up when the guns started shooting again._

_Startled, he pressed himself up against the nearest wall, panting for breath as he waited for the screams that were sure to follow. To his relief, the number of screams was less than before. People were still dying, but the invaders were moving to the less populated areas of the villa. He wouldn't have to listen to anymore people dying as he tried to flee. He hadn't liked all of the people at the party, but there were some that he knew and he didn't like the idea of putting names to dead bodies._

_He took a final deep breath and looked up; slumping against the wall when he realized that he had lost the woman. All it had taken was a single moment of distraction and she was gone, lost to one of the doors that lined the hallway. He dropped his head into his hands, trying not to panic. The hallway wasn't that long and there weren't that many doors to choose from. It would only take a few minutes to find the right room and the woman again, he was sure that he would know the room on sight. Except that he didn't have a few minutes, the sound of the guns was getting closer. He probably had a minute before he would have to take cover._

_He winced and pushed away from the wall, running to the nearest door and yanking it open. He stared into the dark room, shaking his head and slamming the door shut, not caring about the noise. They were coming to get him anyway, it didn't matter if they heard a person slamming doors in the end._

_Three more rooms were tried with the same result, nothing but darkness. In the third room he could make out the hazy shapes of furniture, but no details. He slammed the door, turning to open the next one when he heard shots from further down the hall._

_He froze, his hand shaking as it hovered over the doorknob. There was no way those men could have gotten around them, not without him noticing. This hallway didn't connect to anything; it just ended at a window that looked out into the gardens. He glanced down the hall, expecting to see a group of men when guns bearing down on him. Instead, he just saw an open door._

_Without hesitation he ran toward the open door. How the men had gotten into the hallway without meeting him was still a mystery, but he was sure that they wouldn't just shoot at an empty room._

_He reached the door just as he heard shouts from down the hall, intending to close the door behind him. He had his fingers curled around the edge of the door, but stopped when he saw the woman lying face down on the floor. Blood stained her dress in dark, uneven splotches and leaked out onto the floor. In her arms was a young girl, her face obscured by shadow. The girl was dead too, bullet holes riddling the front of her body and staining her white nightgown red._

_He let go of the door and backed away, one hand rising to press against his mouth to fight off the urge to throw up. He stopped when his back hit the wall, unable to look away from the sight of the two on the floor. Now he was trapped with no way out and people who wanted to kill him running towards him. And it was wrong, so wrong because these two deserved to live, they _had_ to live._

_He bent over, expecting to throw up but only able to dry heave. He shivered, pressing one hand over his mouth and the other over his stomach as he stood up. It was too late to run now; all he could do was hide._

_He was in the process of looking for a place to hide where he wouldn't be found when he heard the sound of someone running in the hallway. He ducked behind the dresser, praying that the person wouldn't come too far into the room. Where he was couldn't be seen until a person walked completely into the room and it was his best chance at a hiding place for the moment._

_The person rushed into the room, not seeming to notice the bodies on the floor. He narrowed his eyes and leaned a bit out of his hiding place, staring at the young boy who had run into the room. The young boy didn't seem to notice him, walking around in a circle before cupping his hands to his mouth and shouting._

_He couldn't make out the words, the sound too distorted. He contemplated stepping out from his hiding spot to talk to the boy when the shouts from the men in the hall got louder. He cringed and pressed himself back into his hiding place, staring at the boy._

_The boy turned to face the door, staring at the men there. He only had time to see the frightened expression on the boy's face before the men shot him._

_He wasn't sure if he screamed or if his scream would even be heard with the distortion that normal speech seemed to have. He was only aware of the men leaving the room and the boy bleeding out on the carpet. And, the coward that he was, he only came out when he was sure that the men were gone, waiting until they had passed the room again before sneaking out of his hiding place. _

_He didn't waste time on thinking how lucky he was to be passed over; he was too busy stumbling out of his hiding place and crawling when his legs didn't seem to work. All that mattered was getting to the boy because he was so important, too important to just be left lying there. The boy, the woman and the girl were all that mattered and all that had mattered this entire time, and it wasn't worth escaping if he knew that none of them would escape with him._

_It took far longer than it should have to crawl across the room. He was out of breath when he reached the boy, letting his head droop. He allowed himself a moment to close his eyes before opening them and looking up at the boy._

_Except it wasn't the boy anymore._

_They could have been the same person, except that he _recognized_ this person. He recognized the jeans and high collared sweater. He recognized the messy hair, the same hair that the boy had had. He recognized the green eyes that were staring sightlessly up at the ceiling._

_The boy and this person were the same, except this person was so much more. This person had a name while everyone else in this place didn't._

"_Suzaku."_

_He reached out and grabbed Suzaku's hand, glancing back at the woman and girl in the hopes that they would get names, that they would become something real. There was nothing, just two dead bodies. He ducked his head, biting his lip to keep from crying._

_It wasn't fair. They were all important, he knew that, but only one got to be real. It just wasn't fair._

_The click of a gun made him look up. He found himself staring up at a smiling man, one that looked slightly like the great man who had fallen on the first floor. He cleared his throat, about to ask for help, when he recognized the expression of hatred on the man's face._

_He only had time to open his mouth to begin his pleading when the gun went off._

Lelouch bolted upright in bed, feeling too hot and constricted by the covers he had wrapped himself in. He quickly wiggled out of them, stumbling across the room until he caught himself on the back of a chair, his heart beating quickly. He gripped the back of the chair, taking deep breaths until he felt his heart slow down again.

It had only been a dream, a nightmare. It wasn't real at all. He was just overreacting because it had been a while since a nightmare had been that bad. Lelouch gave a shuddering sigh, reaching up to play with the chain of his locket. What he had to do was focus on the things he knew were real, to pull himself back away from what he remembered so he wouldn't be bothered by those images anymore when he went to go back to sleep. He took another deep breath, pressing the chain against his neck.

He knew that he wasn't in the orphanage anymore; his room in the orphanage never had chairs. So he was still in England, still waiting on his chance to prove that he was the lost prince. He still didn't know if that was true or not, but the fact that he knew where he was relaxed him.

Lelouch let go of his death grip on the chair, now only using it to lean against. He knew that he was in his rooms and, if he looked to his left, the door to Suzaku's room would be open. He raised his head to look to his left, surprised when he found himself staring at a wall. Lelouch turned to look to his right, staring at the door that led into what he recognized as his room.

It took him a moment to process what it meant, but he smiled when it all came together. So he had to adjust his calculations. He was in Suzaku's room, and he had managed to convince Suzaku of something, the particulars of what they had achieved he wasn't quite sure of. He only knew that they had ended up in bed frantically rutting against each other. It wasn't what Lelouch had envisioned when he had finally gotten Suzaku into bed, but he found that he preferred it, especially since he had let the fact that it had been his first time slip out. Lelouch had intended to keep that fact a secret and bluff the rest of the way through as best as he could.

He cleared his throat, shaking his head. So, he had managed to have some form of sex with Suzaku, which was why he was naked.

In any case, this room was real and not that place, not the hallway full of gunshots and screams or the room with the dead woman and girl. The room where Suzaku was dead.

"Lelouch?" He jumped at the sound of his name, looking over his shoulder at the sound of covers rustling.

Suzaku walked over to him, Lelouch hearing the soft sound of a blanket dragging over the ground. He had been trying for a neutral expression, but something must had shown on his face because Suzaku reached out and pulled him into a hug, wrapping Lelouch in his arms and the blanket that Suzaku had brought over from the bed. Lelouch intended to smirk and brush Suzaku off by saying that he was alright, but he found himself leaning into Suzaku, glad for the warmth and the reminder that it was just a dream.

He sighed, turning in the embrace. He felt Suzaku shiver as he brushed against the tattoo on Suzaku's neck. He ignored it, making his point by kissing the patch of skin. Lelouch had meant what he said earlier, that the tattoo didn't matter to him. He didn't know what it meant and, but the way Suzaku acted about it, Suzaku didn't like it either. The only question Lelouch had about it was why Suzaku kept it if he obviously hated it so much, but he didn't think that it would get answered, at least not right now. His plan was to desensitize Suzaku to it, to the point where Suzaku didn't care anymore.

As it was, the area that the tattoo covered was quickly becoming his favorite spot to kiss on Suzaku.

Lelouch let his head rest on Suzaku's shoulder, closing his eyes. He smiled as Suzaku drew the blanket around them more tightly. "Thanks."

"Well, you were going to get cold just standing out here naked."

Lelouch tried to hide his smile as Suzaku stumbled over the last word. He stepped closer to Suzaku, letting his hands slide down Suzaku's back until they were resting on his hips. He wasn't sure if he was doing this right, he had never actually shown physical affection to people. The most he had done was tone down his usual sarcastic comments and smiled a bit around them, and that seemed to pass as affection. With Suzaku he felt that he actually had to make an effort.

"Why were you out here in the first place?"

"Bad dream." Lelouch was proud that he had managed not to tighten his grip on Suzaku when he said that. "Just a bad dream."

Suzaku hummed, Lelouch relieved that he didn't ask about the dream. He didn't particularly want to explain it. It could be taken as evidence of memories that he didn't have or what Suzaku really meant to him and Lelouch didn't want to deal with the consequences of either. He turned his head so his forehead was pressed against Suzaku, shivering as Suzaku rubbed a hand down his back.

"Come on; let's get you back to bed. Milly will probably push you harder tomorrow. The deadline is coming up."

Lelouch resisted the urge to punch Suzaku, allowing himself to be pulled back to the bed. He didn't want to be reminded that this could be a one night stand. As a compromise, he clung to Suzaku, making it difficult for Suzaku to get back into the bed without dislodging Lelouch. His response to the annoyed look that Suzaku gave him was just to smile, making himself comfortable as soon as Suzaku settled them both down again.

He wasn't quite sure how to take the quick switch from annoyance to concern that Suzaku gave him. Lelouch stayed completely still as Suzaku ran a hand over his shoulder and onto the back of his neck. "Will you be alright?"

"Y-yeah. It was just a nightmare."

"They have habits of coming back."

Lelouch frowned, reaching up to touch Suzaku's tattoo. "Like this?"

Suzaku caught his hand, carefully guiding it to his shoulder. Lelouch tried his best not to pout, but let Suzaku reposition him. He was mollified when Suzaku stroked the back of his hand.

"Yeah, like that."

Lelouch let the subject drop. It was more that he had gotten out of Suzaku about his tattoo since he had discovered it. He shifted his arms into a more comfortable position, pressing up against Suzaku. To his relief, Suzaku immediately curled around him, their legs tangling together. He was probably going to regret not cleaning up until morning, but he would live with that decision. Right now he was warm and content. Better yet, he wasn't stuck in a place where people were dying and he had to stare at blank green eyes.

Lelouch clenched his eyes shut, hating himself for the reminder of the dream. It hadn't been real; it was just stress from all the work that he was doing and all of the things that he was trying to remember. None of it mattered in the end; none of it had told him what he didn't already know. The dream was just a reflection of his subconscious and in no way fact. But that didn't stop the nagging thought that he should have looked for something in that room, something in the wall…

He gave a mental shrug. What mattered now was sleep. He would have to be up tomorrow and would probably have another dance lesson with Milly and Kallen. Beyond that he would have to explain to Kallen how he hadn't harmed Suzaku and hadn't gone against her orders. He and Suzaku had talked and they understood each other, ignoring the fact that he still didn't know if Suzaku was just doing this because he thought he was the lost prince or because of some real emotion.

Lelouch carefully let his mind go blank, keeping it that way until he fell asleep and dreamed of a palace with empty hallways, looming walls and the sound of children's laughter.


	9. Chapter 8: Found You At Last

**Chapter Eight: Found You At Last**

Suzaku carefully rolled out of bed, stretching as soon as he untangled himself from the covers. He winced at the cramp in his back from spending the entire night curled tightly around Lelouch. Despite the pain, he was in a good mood.

What he had thought was a one night stand was turning into something more like a relationship. Suzaku was sure that they were doing this backwards, starting to get to know each other after that first fumbling attempt at sex. Whenever Milly gave them time off from the relentless study sessions Suzaku and Lelouch would collapse against each other, which often led to sex. It wasn't until the afterglow that they had time to talk, and Lelouch would usually be muttering stories sleepily.

It was the first time in ten years that Suzaku could remember being content, even close to happy.

He glanced over his shoulder at the sleeping Lelouch, shaking his head as he watched Lelouch gather the blankets closer to him. Lelouch was an unrepentant blanket hog, wrapping himself up in them even when Suzaku was with him in bed. As soon as Suzaku was up, Lelouch would gather the rest of the covers around him and continue to sleep.

Suzaku chuckled quietly to himself, stopping himself when Lelouch flipped over. He walked over to the closet, pulling out his uniform and starting to get dressed. Lelouch would be asleep for a while longer; he was the type of person who remained asleep for as long as possible before getting up and dragging himself around the room. Unlike Suzaku, who was awake instantly, Lelouch was slow to wake up.

He paused with one arm in the sleeve, staring at the bed. It had only been three days since they had pushed their friendship into a relationship and he was memorizing Lelouch's sleep habits. He blushed and finished pulling on the shirt, his fingers fumbling with the buttons. They were doing this all wrong and it was probably too fast, but Suzaku wouldn't have it any other way.

He smiled fondly to himself, finishing pulling on his uniform and beginning to straighten it out. Usually he would just find one of his high collared shirts and wander down to the kitchens to find the two of them breakfast, Lelouch would have been up by the time he had gotten back. But today was a special day. Today they would finally get their proof of who Lelouch was. After breakfast Princess Euphemia would be coming to interview Lelouch and, while he would be relegated to his usual position against the wall. It was an occasion that called for his formal uniform instead of jeans and whatever clean shirt he could find.

Suzaku turned toward the mirror on one of the closet doors, tugging his collar up to cover up the tattoo completely. He knew that Lelouch didn't care about it, but Euphemia still stared at it with fear, at least for a single moment.

A muffled sound from the bed made him turn around, Suzaku chuckling at the bleary look that Lelouch gave him. He was sure that Lelouch was glaring at him, by the way that Lelouch clutched his pile of blankets and his messed up hair. Suzaku shook his head and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. "Morning."

Suzaku assumed that the response his got was something along the lines of "Morning" as well, but he couldn't tell. He leaned over, gently pulling Lelouch's hand out from under the covers and holding it. Lelouch gave a weak tug before snuggling back into bed, Suzaku leaning over him. "No. No going back to sleep. Princess Euphemia will be arriving soon, and we can't be late for that."

That got Lelouch to sit up, Lelouch staring at him and seeming to realize that he was in full uniform. He pulled at Suzaku's sleeve, finally resting his hand on the sleeve. "You're in uniform."

"Yeah." Suzaku pulled back, staring down at the grey coat that he was wearing, carefully picking off a piece of lint. "It's an important day."

Lelouch sat up in bed, staring at Suzaku. Suzaku looked down at himself, not sure what Lelouch saw that made him gape like that. It was just the standard uniform for Marianne's guard, a grey jacket with gold trimming and black segments on the sleeves. There was a red sash that ran from his right shoulder to his left hip, the only bright color on the outfit. He stood up, pulling on the bottom of the jacket and glancing down at his grey pants.

He looked back up as Lelouch slid out of bed, not sure what to make of the frown on Lelouch's face. He jerked backward when Lelouch reached for the collar, just stopping himself from grabbing Lelouch's arm. Lelouch pulled the collar down far enough to see the tattoo. Lelouch sighed and let go of the collar, gently straightening it out. "Hm…impressive."

"Glad you think so." Suzaku gave him a little shove back to the doorway between their rooms. They had managed to end up in his room the night before. "But we still have to get you dressed and fed before meeting with the princess. I hope you remember those manners that Milly has drilled into your head."

"I don't think that I could." Lelouch smirked. "Milly would make my life miserable if I insulted a Britannian princess."

Lelouch shuffled off into his room, Suzaku busying himself with making the bed. He had to kick one of the sheets out from under the bed, wincing at the obvious stains on it. If Milly hadn't suspected what the two of them were up to before, she would have evidence now. Suzaku was sure that Milly got all of her gossip from the servants of the Ashford family. He gave the sheet a disgusted look; it wouldn't be long now before the news was all over the estate.

He pulled the blankets back up the bed, smoothing them down. Suzaku fluffed the pillows, setting them upright. Hopefully when the maid came through to put the rooms to right they would glance at the bed and leave it be. Suzaku was sure that he could sneak the soiled sheet into the laundry later on.

He stood up, staring at the bed to judge his handiwork. Suzaku turned away, jumping when he saw that Lelouch was standing in the doorway, playing with the gold trim on the jacket that had been found for him. Suzaku went to smile at Lelouch, worried when Lelouch didn't smile back. In fact, Lelouch refused to meet his gaze, instead looking everywhere but at Suzaku.

When he finally did look up Lelouch didn't look nervous or happy, he just looked serious. Suzaku was tempted to walk across the room and hug him, but he was sure that Lelouch wouldn't appreciate it. This was the look that Lelouch got when he contemplated Suzaku's tattoo or when he was trying to remember something that Milly had taught him. It was better to just wait for Lelouch to speak then try to make him talk about what he was thinking about.

Lelouch dropped his hand from the coat, looking up at Suzaku again. "What will happen after this?"

"Uh, that will just depend on what happens at the interview."

"That's not what I meant." Lelouch stared at him before shaking his head. Lelouch licked his lips, gesturing at the space between them before pulling his arm back so it pressed against his stomach. "What happens to us after this?"

Suzaku was distracted by the use of 'us', surprised how good it felt to be referred to like that. It felt good to finally belong somewhere, to be labeled with something that had pleasant connotations instead of bad ones.

He shook his head, forcing himself to focus when Lelouch frowned at him, knowing that Lelouch was impatient for his answer. The problem was that Suzaku didn't have one. He had spent the last three days just believing that what they had was a one night stand and then enjoying it too much to think about the future. That was his usual failing, thinking too much about the present to look to the future.

He rubbed the back of his neck, offering Lelouch a sheepish smile. It was another bad move on his part because Lelouch pushed away from the doorway, looking completely angry.

Lelouch stepped completely into Suzaku's room. "I want an answer Suzaku. What will you do if I'm not the lost prince?"

Suzaku stared at Lelouch. Even if he had gotten over the fact that that this Lelouch wasn't the same as the Lelouch he had known eight years ago, he had never really contemplated what would happen after the interview. There was still some part of him that believed that everything would go off without a hitch and everything would fall into place after that. But he had been through enough to know that the chances of that happening were slim to none. He should have been thinking about that question before now, especially since they hadn't addressed it after their first night of fumbling. Lelouch probably believed that Suzaku had just said it to sleep with him.

He glanced up at Lelouch, not surprised to see the glare directed at him. He was taking too long with this question, but he wanted to think it over so it came out right. This was important, too important for Suzaku to mess up like he had messed up the rest of his life thus far.

He cleared his throat and met Lelouch's gaze, careful to keep his voice steady. "I promised Prince Lelouch that I would return something of his and I don't think I would be able to refuse if they offered me the position of his personal knight."

"I see."

Suzaku flinched at the terse remark, rushing over to grab Lelouch's arm before he left. Lelouch glanced back at him and pointedly tried to pull his arm away, Suzaku refusing to release it. Suzaku waited until Lelouch had stopped struggling before continuing, carefully letting go of Lelouch when it looked like he was calm. "But I have every intention of seeing how far this will go."

"You want to carry on a relationship _and_ be a personal knight to a prince?"

"I owe my friend that much and I owe you a chance to see this through to the end." Suzaku took a step back, really wanting to sit down. But sitting down would break his eye contact with Lelouch and it would be taken as a retreat. Besides, what Suzaku really wanted to do was to sit down and slump, but he was wearing his uniform. He could slump in civilian clothes, but it was impossible for him to slump while in uniform, that had been drilled into him during his basic training. He swallowed, forcing himself to meet Lelouch's gaze instead of finding somewhere else to stare. "This is too new to make decisions like this."

Lelouch raised an eyebrow. "You do know what being a personal knight entails. You're essentially giving them your life."

"I know." Suzaku kept himself from raising his voice. "I know what it means; I was going to be his knight before all of this happened."

"Then you should know better than to offer this."

Suzaku glared at Lelouch, barely keeping his temper in check. He didn't want an argument, not this early in their relationship. What they had was shaky and mostly based on sexual attraction. That wouldn't be enough to last them through a fight. And then there was the issue of his own stubbornness, something that rarely reared its head. He wanted to keep his old dream and this budding relationship. Even with everything that he had been through, he was still the little boy who didn't want to give up anything that he had wanted and worked for.

And then there was the fear that he would blurt something else out. The first time had been an accident. Everyone could guess that he was suicidal, but no one could know for sure, because it would just worry them. But he had told Lelouch. He couldn't imagine getting a good reaction from Lelouch when he confessed how selfish he really was. He just wanted everything to come together his way, with his prince and a chance at something with Lelouch.

He pulled back his shoulders. "I'm not willing to let this go yet, Lelouch."

Lelouch sighed and shook his head, Suzaku watching the motion and suddenly becoming desperate to make Lelouch understand. "I can't give him up, Lelouch, I've been looking for him my entire life and I just can't let him go again. It would be like demanding you to forget everything you've remembered since you had woken up in the orphanage."

That made Lelouch recoil, Suzaku relaxing at the moment of understanding that he glimpsed on Lelouch's face. He had made Lelouch understand, meaning that it was time to retreat. That was one thing that he was sure that he had the advantage over Lelouch in, he was slightly more willing to step back and accommodate. The stubbornness in Lelouch wouldn't allow him to retreat unless there was no other option.

He took a step forward, reaching out to touch Lelouch's shoulder. "I probably won't be promoted immediately. The prince would have to settle in here, be introduced to the royal family and figure out his place with the family before he could even accept a knight, especially if he needs a certain family's political support. Besides, eight years is a long time to not see each other, we'd have to trust each other again. The most important thing between a knight and his prince is trust."

It wasn't too much of an explanation and Suzaku was sure that it wasn't enough to completely convince Lelouch. But Lelouch relaxed anyway, leaning slightly into Suzaku's touch. Suzaku wasn't sure whether his willingness to compromise or the fact that he had been ready to put Lelouch above his prince had convinced Lelouch. He fervently hoped that it wasn't the latter. From the first moment that he had met Prince Lelouch he had been groomed to place the safety of the prince above his own. His time as a guard had only reinforced that idea. Suzaku was sure that his mindset of royalty first would eventually become a problem, but that would give him time to see if what he had with Lelouch could work out.

He was aware that he had been staring Lelouch far too long, offering Lelouch a smile as a response to the confused look that was shot his way. He let his hand drop from Lelouch's shoulder, gesturing towards the door. "Come on, let's get you fed. I don't think that facing Princess Euphemia with an empty stomach is a good idea."

"It could have been worse. Cornelia could have been the one to do the interview." Lelouch smirked, stepping around Suzaku to get to the door.

"Don't think that she'll take it easy on you."

"I wasn't, but I have no reason to be nervous. I have all of the training that most of the other people did and they managed just fine." Lelouch paused, turning around to fix the collar on Suzaku's jacket. Suzaku let him, trying his best not to look surprised as Lelouch reached around to cradle the back of his neck when he was done. "Besides, I'll have you there as support."

"Of course."

Lelouch nodded, letting his hand slide away. "Then I'm all set."

He turned and walked out of the room before Suzaku could respond, the guard still frozen in the act of reaching for him. Suzaku flinched and pulled back his hand. He had intended to let Lelouch know that he was rooting for him, that he believed that Lelouch was their best chance. That was the closest he could get to full support now, he couldn't bring himself to say that Lelouch was the lost prince anymore, not without evidence.

Suzaku sighed and stuck his hangs into his pockets, curling the fingers of his right hand, expecting to find the pin. He started when they closed around nothing. Suzaku rushed to his bag. It was the first time in a while that he had actively sought out the pin for comfort; he had been trying to break himself of that habit. Now he felt like he needed it, something to keep him distracted while Lelouch spoke to Euphemia, something for luck.

He pulled the pin out from the bag, carefully unwrapping it from the shirt that protected it. Suzaku allowed himself a moment to look it over, brushing a finger over the delicate white wings. He stood up slowly, tucking the pin into his pocket and wrapping his fingers around it. Feeling steadier, Suzaku left the room to follow Lelouch down into the dinning room.

* * *

><p>It was hard not to play with the chain around his neck. Euphemia wasn't even there and he was already reaching for his coping mechanism. But that wouldn't be princely and, just for now, he had to play the role of the prince. Focusing on that thought was easier than trying to avoid looking back to where Suzaku stood against the wall or not meeting Kallen's gaze. It was far easier to sit upright in his chair and taken on a bored look.<p>

Lelouch let his gaze drop to his feet, suddenly feeling displaced. He had avoided looking in mirrors as he had gotten dressed or looking at the fine clothes that he had been given. Just seeing Suzaku in his official guard uniform had been enough to make him uneasy. It had just taken a simple change of clothes to dismiss the Suzaku that he had come to know and replace him with Suzaku, the royal guard. It had been enough to make him doubt everything and finally demand an answer to the question that had been bothering him since the first night they had slept together.

The answer hadn't made him feel any better. Suzaku would still put Prince Lelouch over him. But the fact that Suzaku was willing to compromise and try to stay in his life had been a bit of a relief. Lelouch was sure that, if it came down to a choice between him and the prince, he would lose. That didn't mean that he couldn't make the most of the relationship, but it was a little disheartening.

He sighed and closed his eyes. He might as well get used to the idea that he was going to lose Suzaku. Even if he was somehow related to the Britannian royal family, he doubted that Prince Lelouch would allow an illegitimate son to keep his name and his knight.

Lelouch tightened his grip on his armrest, forcing himself to calm down a moment later. For now the lost prince was not a problem, and it would just make his life more difficult if he stressed out over something that might not even happen. Until he had a proper grasp of the situation, Lelouch would have to wait.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. The thing to concentrate on was the interview, on playing the part. Some part of him balked at the idea, but Lelouch ignored it. He wasn't Prince Lelouch vi Britannia, he wasn't all fine manners and a royal pedigree. He was just Lelouch Lamperouge from Japan, more likely to spout out a scything witticism than a charming remark. There would always be a part of him that was more used to wearing worn clothes than elaborate outfits. There was always a part of him that would need to act.

Lelouch opened his eyes as he heard the door open, standing up and bowing as Gino escorted Princess Euphemia into the sitting room. He waited until Euphemia was seated before sitting down himself, not sure if he should risk giving her a smile or just to wait for her first question.

Euphemia just laughed softly. "You know, you look so much like my brother when you do that, especially dressed up like that."

Lelouch blinked in confusion, not knowing what she was referring to. To hide his confusion, he looked down at the black and gold coat he was wearing. He resisted the urge to pull the cravat looser; feeling like it was chocking him. "I would have thought was more in His Majesty's style instead of mine."

"Lelouch was always trying to imitate Schneizel." Euphemia laughed, leaning back in her chair. "As much as he hated being younger and constantly beaten by him, Lelouch still tried to imitate him."

That had been Schneizel; elegant clothes, kind words and grand gestures that all but hid a not so sincere smile.

He looked away as Euphemia sighed, about to try and start the conversation when she cleared her throat. "I'm sure you'll feel better just getting started as fast as possible. So, we'll begin with the basics. You were born…"

"On December 5, 1999 at the Aries Villa." He hesitated, torn between just reciting the answers that he head learned and adding a bit of elaboration to his answers. There was a chance that the latter would be more likely to convince her. Lelouch tipped his head to the side. "It snowed early that year."

"I've heard that." Euphemia smiled kindly, leaning forward to rest her chin on her hand. "So, what were your favorite things to do?"

"Read, play chess…" Lelouch felt himself smile. "Play with Nunnally."

"Nunnally?"

"My sister." The answer came easily, Lelouch barely realizing that the interview had turned into more of a conversation. "Before she was born I mostly tried to play chess, but after she was born I spent a lot of time playing with her."

"You must have resented her for taking up your mother's attention."

Lelouch recoiled before he had properly processed the emotion. He tried not to show his shock on his face, settling for just watching Euphemia carefully. The interview had quickly gone beyond what he had prepared for. He narrowed his eyes, catching the partial smile that Euphemia gave to him.

She knew what she was doing them. This deliberate planning was something that he had never expected of Euphemia. He had always seen her as the naïve and cheerful princess. Then again, she was Cornelia's sister; she would have something cunning about her. Perhaps he had been wrong to fear Cornelia more, Euphemia was obviously the master at throwing people off, all while keeping her smiling public image. What made her more dangerous was that she knew what she was doing and that she was careful not to abuse this cunning.

Lelouch smiled and leaned forward, silently accepting her challenge. "I could never be jealous of Nunnally. It's impossible."

"Well there must have been someone you were jealous of."

Lelouch tired not to show how relieved he was that she was moving back to the things he knew. "Schneizel. He always beat me at chess."

Euphemia laughed, Lelouch finding himself relaxing. She had issued a challenge and he had met it without a problem. As long as he kept himself ready for more challenges it would be an easy interview.

She stuck close to the usual questions that Milly had quizzed him on, moving through his childhood in Pendragon and then in Japan. Euphemia skipped over the events of the massacres, going to the specifics of his life. She ran through his favorite foods and pastimes with a short tangent into some of his favorite games outside of chess before moving on to what he had done in Japan

"_You catch zarigani like this."_

"_What?"_

_A confused glance. "Zarigani? Um…I guess you would call them crayfish." Laughter. "I thought you knew Japanese."_

"_I know real words, the words you use in conversation."_

"_That is a real word and we are using it in a conversation." _

_Annoyance and embarrassment. "So, how do you catch zarigani?"_

"_Easy. You tie a string to the back leg of a frog."_

"_Lair."_

"_I'm not." Laughter. "That's how you do it."_

"_Prove it."_

Lelouch started out of his thoughts, looking up at Euphemia in the silence. He was sure that he hadn't missed a question, Euphemia had kept quiet after the questions about his time in Japan with Suzaku, and she had only stuck to the questions that Milly had drilled him on.

He tensed as Euphemia sighed. He caught himself reaching for the chain of the locket, forcing himself to grip the armrest instead.

The motion caught Euphemia's attention, the princess shaking her head and sitting up straight. "You've done well so far, all exactly as rote."

"Ah." Lelouch cleared his throat. "So now you intend to have me answer questions that only the prince could answer." He didn't wait for her to nod, looking over at Gino. "Have you seen the results of the DNA test?"

"No, and I won't until we are through here."

Lelouch hummed to himself, trying to relax. Here was where he would start to struggle; he only knew the direct answers. These would require knowledge of the family and he only knew them only from what he had seen on the news. He shifted in his seat so he could see Suzaku out of the corner of his eye. Just seeing the guard was enough to steady him. There was something reassuring in the fact that _Suzaku_ had thought that he could be Prince Lelouch, none of the others had managed to get that much to his knowledge. Lelouch swallowed and nodded. "Go ahead."

Euphemia smoothed her hands over her skirt. "Alright then. I'd like to start with your mother. What did you think of her?"

Lelouch stared at her before looking away. "I…I loved her." The look that Euphemia gave him said that she expected that.

Lelouch bit his lip. Of course she wouldn't believe it, anyone could have said that. The problem was that he didn't have the emotion behind it to be convincing, but he had no memory of his mother, just the general feeling of being safe.

He slumped back in his seat. "I'm sure that I would love her, no matter what she did."

"Even after she had another child?"

"Nunnally could have never been a bad thing." He could only remember the smiling princess from the news, always smiling despite everything that had happened to her. She had always been in the background and had never spoken, but she was the darling of the world, second only to the crown prince of Britannia.

But that wasn't quite the right answer, it was still rote. His only choice was to act the part, to put something into his answers to convince Euphemia. He glanced over at Suzaku, about to revise his answer when Euphemia spoke up again.

"There's actually only one thing that I really want to know. You can ignore the other questions if you want to." She waved her hand dismissively, Lelouch glancing up at her face. Euphemia looked nervous, Lelouch not sure how to take that. She had looked nervous the entire time, but this was different, this was putting him on edge. He tried to fight down his flight instinct as Euphemia continued. "I wanted to try and avoid the topic for as long as possible, it's not a fond memory for many of us. But I can't just leave this one out." She took a deep breath. "On the night of the massacre, what happened? What happened after you left the ballroom?"

Lelouch felt his mouth go dry. No one knew what had happened to the living members of the royal family between the time of the first gun shots were fired and when they arrived at the airstrip safely. Only those that had died had gotten their paths traced out, the rest was a mystery to the public.

He glanced over at Suzaku, not sure that it was the right thing to do. Suzaku wouldn't be able to tell him the answer. Lelouch closed his eyes, trying to dredge up what he remembered from the history books.

"We went to get Nunnally. She had been sent to bed about an hour before with you and Karine." Lelouch let his hands slide off the armrests. "I was happy, because I was getting to stay up late for once. I felt important…"

He trailed off, swallowing before forcing himself back onto topic. "We ran as soon as they shot Father. Mother was faster than I was, so I didn't get there until she had already woken Nunnally. It didn't take that long, but people were already running through the hallways. Mother woke Nunnally up and we were going to leave."

Lelouch clenched his hands, opening his eyes and immediately looking at the floor. He was repeating himself, he knew that much. He fought to urge to glance at Suzaku, to see if he was telling the story right. Suzaku wouldn't have told him even if he did know; this was something he was expected to do on his own.

Lelouch narrowed his eyes. There was something important about the room, the fact that it had been Nunnally's room. His mother had always insisted on that room when they were at Aries Villa. It was the same reason that she had pushed for the same room for Nunnally every time they had been at the Imperial Palace, beyond trying to keep a sense of normalcy for a young girl. This was an important reason, because those had been his rooms once. The reason was so obvious, but he kept missing it. All he could remember was that they were specially made to protect the royal heirs. His mother must have shown him how to use the safety feature, but he couldn't remember how to use it now. He had never had to use it.

But he was letting himself get distracted. The important thing was what had happened that night. He partially remembered running up the stairs and charging into Nunnally's room. But his mother had already…

Lelouch looked up, meeting Euphemia's gaze, speaking quickly so he wouldn't lose the memory. "There was a door, in the wall. Mother had opened it before I had gotten there and she was getting ready to take us out through there." He reached up to play with the chain around his neck, not realizing what he was doing. "We left through that passage."

There was something more, something that he couldn't quite remember. Lelouch stared down at his hand, closing his fingers around nothing. It was something important, something so very important that he was ashamed that he had forgotten. Lelouch let his fingers relax, finally taking in the princess' expression.

Euphemia was staring at him with wide eyes and a barely noticeable tremble. It didn't take long for her to recover. She shifted in her chair, looking at him. "And that's all?"

It wouldn't be in his benefit to add more things that he couldn't be sure of. It was a good bet that Suzaku had been there, but Lelouch just couldn't remember. He slumped in his seat with a sigh, expected the next difficult question.

To his surprise, Euphemia stood up. He scrambled to his feet, bowing when Euphemia turned to leave the room. He was about to thank her for her time, but she was already being escorted from the room by Gino. Lelouch turned to look at Kallen, surprised to see her rushing after Gino and Euphemia. He sunk into his chair, staring at the door as it slammed shut behind the three of them. Lelouch shook his head, reaching up to play with the chain.

It was obvious that he had failed. He had gotten all of the usual questions right, but he was sure that he had failed on the one important one. What he had managed to get out was a combination of what he knew of history and his own nightmares and he wasn't even sure if he had come close to what really happened. Just because it had felt right at the time didn't make it true.

He glanced over at Suzaku, taking in the guard's look of shock before standing up. They would come and find him when he was needed. At the moment, he didn't have the patience to stomach the accusing glares that would be sent his way despite the fact that he had warned them that he remembered nothing of his life before he had gone into the orphanage. For now, he would meet their disappointment in silence and wait for the final verdict. Lelouch looked back at Suzaku, sighing when the guard continued to stare at him. Even with Suzaku's earlier promise to stay with him, Lelouch doubted that Suzaku would be able to face him tonight. What they had was just for convenience, and Lelouch had to accept that. Hopefully he could manage to fix whatever they had so they could be friends again, Lelouch wanted at least.

Lelouch slipped from the room, turning in the opposition direction from where the voices were coming from. Since they seemed to be coming from the library his refuge would have to be his room, at least until they came to tell him the results. He sighed and pulled the locket completely out from under his shirt, fumbling with the cravat a moment later. He would keep the coat and the slacks for now, it wouldn't do to remove all aspects of the prince he was trying to play immediately. Besides, he wanted to linger a little longer in the fantasy that he had a place here.

A family and a loyal knight, Lelouch chuckled aloud at that thought. That was something that most people only dreamed of. He certainly hadn't but, given the chance to have it, Lelouch regretted that he had never really gotten the chance to enjoy being a prince. But, then again, he had always been too practical to let himself get lost in what ifs.

It was better this way. All he had to do was convince himself of that.

* * *

><p>Kallen was relieved to see that Milly had already set up tea in the library. Euphemia had looked like she had been ready to faint before she entered the room, and here was Milly kneeling on the ground and offering the princess a cup of tea to hold all while the two knights stood by, completely useless. Kallen exchanged a look with Gino before kneeling by Euphemia's side, waiting to here the princess speak.<p>

It took a few minutes and a generous gulp of tea before Euphemia was ready, but her hands were still shaking. She looked up at the three of them and smiled. "I commend you on your work. I might have been able to convince Nunnally on those first questions alone. He was so much like Lelouch."

"There wasn't much teaching to be done." Milly sighed and stood up. "Just reviewing. For a kid from an orphanage, he had a surprisingly good grasp of court etiquette."

Euphemia nodded, staring into the bottom of her cup. "He did. Gino." The blond knight snapped to attention at the sound of his name. "Go get the results. I think I'm ready to see them now."

Gino bowed and walked over to the desk on the other side of the room. Kallen watched him go, jumping when Euphemia touched her shoulder.

The princess smiled apologetically. "What is your opinion of him now?"

Kallen hesitated, glancing between Milly and Euphemia. She doubted that Euphemia would ask her for the sake of changing her own views; this was Euphemia genuinely wanting to know. Kallen bit her lip, thinking over the question.

She had never been completely sure about the boy that they had found. Sure he was a good physical match for what Lelouch could have grown up to look like and he was the right age, but there had to be more than that. She had been willing to take Suzaku's word for it, but she had always looked upon his approval with suspicion. Suzaku would do anything to get Lelouch back and he was getting more desperate as the years went on. In the end, the most compelling evidence was in the way the boy acted in combination with Suzaku's reactions. Kallen had seen moments of unconscious action by the boy that had almost made her believe that he was a prince.

Kallen stood up, carefully meeting Euphemia's gaze. "I…I do believe that he's the prince, but not the one that everyone is expecting."

Euphemia nodded, leaning forward to set her cup down. "Yes, that was something that I forgot as well. But he would have changed; he's been away from us for a long time. And yet," she laughed, "I don't think the essential Lelouch has changed at all. It's just a matter of finding it again."

"So I take it that you think he's the real thing, princess?" Gino ambled back over, the unopened envelope that contained the results of the DNA test in his hand.

"He answered every question and they were all right. Even," Euphemia's smile wavered a bit, "even the one about how they escaped. It was exactly what I've heard from Marianne and Nunnally."

"But he didn't include Suzaku."

"He did, Kallen. He looked at him. If you watched, you could see him thinking about it. And Suzaku knows."

Kallen recalled the shocked look on Suzaku's face as she had left the room and the way that he had been staring at Lelouch. It was as good of an explanation as any. "I'm sure if we had been able to show Lelouch something from the Aries Villa, he would have remembered more."

"We might not have to. Those things will come back to him in time. Now," Euphemia held up the envelope, "I got my answer from Kallen and you already have my answer. What about the two of you?"

Milly gave an enthusiastic yes while Gino just nodded, Kallen holding Gino's gaze for a moment longer. They already knew what Suzaku would say. She was sure that Suzaku would have been in the room with them if he hadn't been so thoroughly shocked by what Lelouch had said. He was probably off on his own, digesting the information. She would seek him out later with the answer.

Kallen took a deep breath and nodded at Euphemia, fighting the urge to fidget as the princess opened the envelope. She wasn't scared of the result; neither Gino nor herself would get in trouble for completely their mission. It was what the result would trigger that worried her. She found herself trying to relax. Running right to Suzaku wouldn't do them any good, especially since Suzaku wasn't here to hear the results.

She jumped at Euphemia's gasp, lunging forward to catch the papers as they fluttered out of Euphemia's hand. Kallen scrambled to flip the papers around, skimming over the first page of pictures that meant nothing to her before turning to the letter. She didn't get a chance to read it at first, Euphemia dropping out of the chair and hugging her.

"You found him. You actually found him!"

Kallen glanced at the princess before turning her attention back to the results and reading the letter. She nearly dropped the papers themselves as she read that their Lelouch was a perfect match to the DNA record of Prince Lelouch vi Britannia. Wordlessly, she handed the papers to Milly, staring down at Euphemia.

She had never imagined that this could have happened. She had always thought that Lelouch's whereabouts would be unknown for the rest of her life. The best case scenario she had allowed herself to imagine was that they would find a body, never that they would find the prince himself. She had just resigned herself to failure and slowly watching Suzaku drift away.

There was a whoop from Gino, Kallen yelping as she was pulled into a hug. She struggled to get away, glancing around the room for a means to escape. Milly was all smiles and Euphemia looked like she was about to cry. Kallen smiled to herself, wrapping her arms around Gino's neck. "You should thank me; I was the one who convinced him to come with us."

She expected one of Gino's attempts to flirt with her, but got a gentle kiss on the lips. She pulled away, blushing and startled. A quick glance showed that Gino was smiling softly at her. Kallen turned away, trying to ignore the way her blush got darker. She was used to Gino's playful flirting, not his full genuine affection. Kallen bit back a girlish giggle, shooting Gino a slightly annoyed look before turning to look at Euphemia.

The princess got to her feet, clearing her throat. "Gino, I'll need you to escort me back to Windsor. Kallen, I'll leave telling Lelouch and Suzaku to you. Be ready to hear from Nunnally about seeing him."

Kallen bowed and turned to walk out of the room. She intended to find Lelouch first so she could practice on him. She wasn't sure that she was ready to handle Suzaku if she told him the wrong way.

Finding Lelouch was easy enough, there were only a few places that he frequented. Since they had taken the library it was likely that he was in his room. She climbed the grand staircase, waving at Gino and Euphemia as they strode to the door. She didn't envy Euphemia; she had the hard job of convincing Nunnally to see Lelouch now.

Kallen shook her head, jogging up the rest of the stairs and halfway down the hallway before she forced herself to slow down. She took the time to straighten out her uniform before walking up to Lelouch's room and knocking on the door.

It took him a moment to answer, Lelouch opening the door and peering out, almost like he expected to be kicked out at any minute.

Kallen sighed and pushed the door completely open. "You've upheld your end of the deal."

"Yes, I acted the part of a prince." Lelouch glanced at her before gesturing into his room. "Should I pack up and get ready to be shipped back to Tokyo?"

"No." That stopped him dead in his tracks. "Euphemia said that you convinced her and the test says that you're a perfect match for the prince."

Lelouch held out his hand, Kallen shaking her head. "They went with Euphemia. We need those to get you an audience with Lady Marianne."

"Then excuse me for not believing you immediately. I think I'll wait until I see the papers myself."

Kallen shrugged, trying to hide her annoyance at his quick denial. "Suit yourself. But just remember that you are a prince when you meet Lady Marianne, remember that you are her son and try not to insult her." She went to take a step backward, pausing when she remembered something that was sure to make him think the news over. "You won't have to compete with yourself anymore."

"What?"

Kallen smiled, she had him. She could tell that from the way that he was standing straight and tensed. She leaned against the doorframe. "Suzaku is intensely loyal to the royal family; they're the ones who offered him a place after his father died in the massacre. They're the ones that saved his life. And they're the ones that he will put in front of everything."

"I know that."

"But you're the one he wants, even without your official title. He likes you for who you are now. As a prince, you no longer have to worry about being pushed aside for duty. Isn't that enough for you to being to accept that you're Prince Lelouch vi Britannia?"

Lelouch sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I still want to see the papers."

"And you will." Kallen tipped her head to the side. "I wouldn't lie."

"I…" Lelouch cleared his throat, looking away from her. "I trust you. It's the circumstances that I don't. It seems too easy."

Kallen shrugged. "Sometimes you get lucky."

"Indeed." Lelouch glanced back into the room. "Then I will see this through to the end as per our deal. And…thank you for doing this."

Kallen smiled. "It was a mutually beneficial agreement. I'm just glad that it worked out. It would have been embarrassing to admit that we really had no plan for you if this had failed."

Lelouch laughed and walked back into the room, Kallen letting him go. She had to find Suzaku now, and she wasn't sure how to break the news to him. She was sure that she would have to sit him down in a locked room. However she did it Gino's calming presence probably would have helped.

She turned around, freezing when she saw Suzaku standing at the end of the hall. She wasn't sure what expression that she had on her face, but it made Suzaku slump. He gave her a sharp nod and went to walk away.

Kallen cursed under her breath, stepping forward and getting ready to shout for him, only to be interrupted by Lelouch.

"Suzaku."

Suzaku stopped at the command, hesitating before turning and walking down the hallway toward Lelouch's room. He gave Kallen a quick glance as he passed, Kallen tempted to reassure him that things would be fine, but the words stuck in her throat. Instead of speaking, she followed him to Lelouch's door.

She lingered in the doorway as Suzaku crossed the room, coming to a stop in front of Lelouch. Lelouch was sitting on the edge of his bed, legs crossed and looking every inch a prince. Kallen backed away from the door, fighting the urge to listen in. It looked like a private conversation.

Kallen huffed, about to turn away when Suzaku dropped into the formal bow between a knight and royalty. She blinked, her eyes widening as Lelouch slid from the bed to wrap his arms around Suzaku. Kallen looked away when Lelouch leaned in to kiss Suzaku, quickly walking down the hall.

She had gotten out of telling Suzaku about Lelouch, something that she was thankful for. Although, the confirmation that they had been together before the announcement was something that she hadn't needed to see. At least everything had worked out for the best, Kallen wouldn't have wanted to have to deal with the fall out or what would have happened when Suzaku had tried to balance his prince and this Lelouch. Some part of her was sure that Lelouch would have lost Suzaku rather quickly if that series of events had come to pass.

Kallen breathed a sigh of relief, walking quickly down the hall. She would leave Lelouch and Suzaku to their business and find Milly. While it wasn't quite the time to celebrate, they would at least congratulate themselves for making it this far.

* * *

><p>Euphemia smiled at Rolo as she walked into Nunnally's room, the guard giving her a measured nod. She turned her attention to Nunnally, surprised to see her half sister sitting by the window and looking down on the grounds. Euphemia walked up behind her and peered over her shoulder.<p>

Marianne was on the grounds with a book, Jeremiah hovering behind her. Marianne wasn't completely focused on the book, her head titled back to speak to Jeremiah. It was the happiest that Euphemia had seen Marianne in a long while. Since they had gotten to Windsor, Cornelia had spent most of her time with Marianne, but now she was nowhere to be seen. She was probably out with Guilford or finalizing plans for their wedding now that it was definitely being held in Pendragon. And Marianne almost looked normal again, like how Euphemia remembered from her childhood.

She looked down when Nunnally touched her hand. Euphemia smiled and took her hand as she sat down. "Shouldn't you be out there yourself? It's a beautiful day."

"Well, I was waiting for you. It seemed like a good day to run through the maze. But you weren't in your rooms when I looked for you." Nunnally laughed and sat up. 'Where were you this morning?"

"I was over at the Ashfords at the request of Gino and Kallen."

"They seem to be over there a lot." Nunnally her head to the side. "I thought that they would spend time with Suzaku since he's been given leave."

Euphemia bit her lip. "He's over there a lot too, for a good reason."

"Really? I thought that Suzaku would do something else on his leave." Nunnally sighed. "I actually expected him to be out looking for Lelouch again. How did he take the news that the searches have been called off?"

"I don't think anyone has told him. He's been working on a new project recently." Euphemia winced, glancing outside before shaking her head.

She could just tell Nunnally what they had found, but she was sure that Nunnally would not like that her orders had been ignored. Nunnally was just looking out for her mother and herself, it was a perfectly justifiable action. But to pull out her discovery now would mean that Nunnally would sulk all day over it, and that would be a full day ruined. But it was mean that Lelouch was sitting around for another day and Lelouch was more important than a day of fun with Nunnally.

Euphemia swallowed and straightened her skirt. "Nunnally, I have a favor to ask of you." She waited for Nunnally to turn and look at her, fighting the urge to keep track of where Rolo was. She was a member of the royal family, so Rolo wouldn't hurt her, she was sure of that. But he was very attached to Nunnally and he wouldn't make her life easy if she upset Nunnally.

Euphemia cleared her throat. "They found something." At Nunnally's blank stare, Euphemia rushed on. "When you called to give them new orders, they had already found someone."

Nunnally's eyes widened. "Euphy, no."

"I checked him, Nunnally. I did every question in the usual interview and some that weren't. Milly was the one who taught him the basic manners, but even said that it was more like reviewing. Gino and Kallen watched him the entire time and agree with me. Even Suzaku-"

"Euphy!" She jumped as Nunnally raised her voice, Nunnally looking as shocked as Euphemia felt. Nunnally stared at Euphemia for a long moment before shaking her head. "I won't punish any of them; they were just trying to help. And I'm not disappointed in you, Euphy. I just want you to understand that we can't…not anymore."

"Nunnally, I swear to you that he is Lelouch!"

"So have others."

"I have proof." Euphemia went to pull out the papers, dropping them when Nunnally turned away from the window.

"Euphy no is the only answer you will get! Mother and I agreed that we don't want to do this anymore, it hurts too much. Imagine if this had happened to Cornelia."

Euphemia felt a chill go down her spine. "I would do anything to get her back."

"And what if none of it worked?" Nunnally slumped. "What if nothing worked and you had to watch your mother blame herself for not keeping a better hold on Lelouch? What if you kept blaming yourself because, if you had been more awake or more able to take care of yourself, this never would have happened? Because that's what I have to live with everyday, the thought that I may have killed my brother. It may be selfish, but I don't want to keep remembering that. I want to be able to think of Lelouch and not feel guilty."

Euphemia stared at Nunnally, biting back her plea. Nunnally could be just as stubborn and Marianne, sometimes more so. Euphemia didn't doubt that she could eventually wear Nunnally down, but it didn't make sense to just wait, especially with Lelouch just miles away.

She sighed, staring down at the papers. "I want to respect your wishes, Nunnally, but I can't just let this go."

"And I can't give in on this."

Euphemia sighed and stood up. The only thing to do now was to leave Nunnally to her thoughts. She wouldn't change her mind today, but Euphemia could wait for the next attempt tomorrow. In the meantime Euphemia would attempt to entertain herself, perhaps by walking in the maze; it was a pleasant enough day. She would leave Marianne to her book and Cornelia to whatever her sister had found to do. Maybe, if she really could find nothing to do, she would call Schneizel and inquire about the divorce arrangements were going and talk to the crown prince. Talking with Simon always cheered her up.

She paused at the door, turning to gesture to Rolo. Nervously, the guard left Nunnally's side, bowing to Euphemia. "My lady."

Euphemia held out the papers. "These will be in my room on my desk. You have permission to get them and only under the orders that they will be looked at and not destroyed. Nothing anyone says is to come above this order."

Rolo glanced back at Nunnally, obviously torn. Technically, Rolo was a guard to the royal family and had to obey her orders. But he was also a part of Marianne's personal guard and specifically assigned to Nunnally. Not only that, but he had been taken in and trained by Marianne, he had never interacted with any other members of the royal family for long periods of time. Euphemia felt sorry for him, she really did, but the matter of Lelouch's identity was too important just to let slip away.

He finally nodded, Euphemia releasing him to rush back to Nunnally's side. She was sure that Nunnally wouldn't punish him for the orders, but Rolo certainly be at war with himself. It was a deplorable, underhand tactic for her to use, but she couldn't think of any other way to be sure that Nunnally would take her seriously.

Euphemia looked at Nunnally, trying to see if any impression had already been made, only to be disappointed. She was in for a long struggle and she would hate every minute. Euphemia knew how to handle diplomatic situations and all the strategies that she could use, but she preferred to be nice. She hoped that she could show through example that violence was not needed, just a willing ear and some understanding. When she had to use other tactics she felt like she had sullied her good name.

She shivered, opening the door and walking out of the room. She would put the papers on her desk and then lose herself in the maze and try not to think about Lelouch and all the problems that went with him.


	10. Chapter 9: Years of Dreams

**Chapter Nine: Years of Dreams**

Marianne didn't look up as she heard Jeremiah turn and begin to speak to someone. She only looked up when a shadow fell across her book. Marianne craned her head up, smiling when she was Nunnally, her smile wavering when she saw how worried Nunnally looked. It was a small thing, like the way Nunnally was slumped slightly and the way that her smile came in fits and starts.

Marianne turned around, waving Nunnally closer. She glanced back at Rolo, hoping that her daughter's guard would be able to shed some light on Nunnally's mood. Rolo just looked worried, an expression she usually associated with orders to return home for family obligations. But she couldn't think of any news that would have caused Rolo to feel that way.

She cleared her throat, turning her attention back to Nunnally. Marianne reached up to grab Nunnally's hand, changing her mind halfway through the motion to motion for Nunnally to sit in the vacant chair beside her. The look on Nunnally's face made her rethink her choice. She had never been able to figure out how to handle her children, what was too much attention and what was too little. Her own mother had been hands on, overbearingly so. All she could remember was her own promises to herself to never be like that to her own children, if she was ever forced to have kids. With Lelouch she had acted on that, trying to keep herself as distant from him and possible, and it had seemed to work. But it didn't work with Nunnally, and she never seemed to remember until the last minute.

She often realized that she didn't know as much about Nunnally as she should. They had spent so much time looking for Lelouch that Marianne hadn't really concentrated on the daughter that was still with her. It was another instance of her failing as a mother. Maybe C.C. had been right to try and encourage her to stay indifferent to her children after they had lost Lelouch. It certainly would have been easier to deal with the loss of Lelouch and the way that she and Nunnally had drifted apart afterward. It would have been easy to hide behind her indifference and remain in Pendragon, close to her parents and everyone that she had known. Then again, that was just another thing that it was too late to fix.

"Mother." Marianne focused her attention back on Nunnally again. There was nothing that she could think of that could have worried Nunnally to this degree, not unless there had been news on the group that had killed their family, but she doubted that she wouldn't have heard of any news by now. Jeremiah had been keeping her up to date about every detail of the investigation thus far, but that hadn't been much news in the end.

The perpetrators that they had known of were still dead, as was C.C. Investigators had yet to find a few of the assassins that the group had kept or C.C's remains. They were left knowing very little, and Marianne preferred to have it that way. It had been a long while since she had carried a gun or a sword, and she hadn't kept up with her practice as much. She would have to start up again, especially now that she knew the people who could so easily disrupt her life were out there again.

She looked up abruptly as Nunnally cleared her throat, surprised that she had let her mind wander again. Marianne sat up a little straighter, motioning for Nunnally to continue.

Nunnally gave her an exasperated look before leaning back in her chair. "Mother, we did the right thing in giving up the search, didn't we?"

Marianne tensed, forcing herself to smile the next moment, but she couldn't force herself to answer. Nunnally had done the right thing in ordering her to stop. Marianne would have gone on until the day that she died searching for Lelouch and letting other things, equally as important things, be pushed to the side. It was the better thing to do, but Marianne wasn't sure that it was the right thing, not when she could so easily imagine Lelouch shivering in the cold somewhere, freezing slowly to death. And she would never know.

It was the not knowing that was the worst part. Not knowing meant that she would never get to actively get over what had happened. And deciding that he was dead just because he hadn't been found yet was not the better alternative.

"It was…for the best." Marianne folded her hands in her lap, making a face when she realized what she had done. The motion was a court habit, one that she had detested when she had seen it in the other wives. She shook her head, making a point of uncrossing her legs and draping her arms over the armrests of her chair. "There was nothing else we could do under the circumstances. After everyone we had seen, perhaps it was best to stop all interviews to get rid of-"

"Mother, not like that please." Nunnally sighed and shook her head. "What do you think, really?"

Marianne clenched one hand into a fist. "I want to find him, Nunnally."

"It might be impossible."

"He's my son!" Marianne snapped her mouth shut. "Nunnally, I just can't…I can't stop wanting to find him."

Nunnally stared at her, Marianne refusing to back down. Nunnally had to understand this, and she had to understand that Marianne would do the same for her, even without the reassurance. After everything that had happened to them, Marianne wanted to believe that her daughter was smart enough to realize this.

She jumped as Nunnally reached over to touch her hand. Marianne looked at Nunnally, expecting some new argument and not the look of acceptance that Nunnally was giving her. Marianne sighed, shaking her head. "I agreed with you, because it was the best thing to do. We were getting more imposters than people actually trying to find Lelouch and none of our knights were coming back with anyone."

"You hadn't been yourself." Marianne started at that, Nunnally offering her a smile. "I still remember the things you did before you put all of your effort into the search for Lelouch. It wasn't until I told you that we wouldn't look anymore and Cornelia came that you started being yourself again. You're even arguing against my order now. That's good."

Marianne gently slipped her hand out from under Nunnally's, staring at her daughter. She wasn't sure how she felt being manipulated by her daughter like this. To her, Nunnally was all sweetness like Euphemia, she didn't want to trick people into doing what she wanted. To have evidence that Nunnally was so like herself and Charles was startling. She had always thought that Lelouch had been the manipulative one in the family.

She looked away from Nunnally, taking a deep breath. That she had never noticed was just another instance of her not paying attention to her daughter, another failure on her part as a parent. Marianne assumed that, one day, she would be able to just shrug it off. Eventually she would be able to admit that it was a part of her life and move on, attempt to try and rectify what she had done wrong.

But she did know enough about Nunnally to know when something was bothering her. Marianne leaned forward, staring at the ground. "Something is bothering Rolo."

"Yes." Nunnally didn't even turn around to check, which meant that she knew the reason for Rolo's distress. Marianne tipped her head so she could see Nunnally, watching as her daughter rolled her shoulders forward. "Do you think we did the right thing?"

"You already asked me that."

"I know." Nunnally curled inward. "But I want to be sure. I really want to be sure."

Marianne sat up. "Why?"

Nunnally turned to look at her, playing with the hem of her sleeve. "I didn't doubt my decision before, because it was the right thing to do. Because no one would be hurt from it. But now…now I'm not so sure after all."

Marianne raised an eyebrow, opening her mouth to speak. She snapped it shut again when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at Jeremiah, surprised to see her knight shaking his head. He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before tipping his head toward Nunnally. Marianne followed his gaze, watching as Nunnally took a shaky breath.

"If this hadn't had happened, I would have been able to just go on. But it did and I can't stop thinking about it now." Nunnally let go of her sleeve, her hands dropping back into her lap. "Maybe if it had been longer since we…_I_ decided not to see anyone else I wouldn't be thinking so much about it."

Marianne sucked in a quick breath, trying not to make any other move that could warn Nunnally of her sudden alertness. Just the way that Nunnally was talking about the thing that was bothering her made Marianne nervous. It was the same kind of nervous that she had developed during her career as a soldier and a knight, the kind that had kept her out of trouble thus far. It was the instinct that she trusted far above the others.

She cleared her throat, abandoning all intentions of coming at the subject subtly. "What are you talking about?"

Nunnally stared at her before blushing. "I called Gino, Kallen and Suzaku back from their search, but they were already on their way home. I didn't find out until now that they had actually found something."

"Found something?"

Nunnally didn't seem to notice the shock on Marianne's face. She just nodded, going back to fiddling with the edge of her sleeve. "I didn't even know that they had done anything, I was just told by Euphy today that they had disobeyed orders and had tried to prepare him to see us."

Marianne leaned forward. "They found him?"

"I don't know. Euphy thinks so and, apparently, so does everyone else. She says that they have proof behind what they say." Nunnally sighed.

"So why haven't you called him over?" Marianne hadn't intended the question to come out so bluntly. She hadn't been able to think of any other way to phrase it, but she had been sure that she could moderate her tone of voice to make it sound like less of a demand. She cleared her throat, abandoning all efforts to appear not to care. "If they think that they've found him, then it would only be in our benefit to see this man."

"That's not the point!" Nunnally blushed, but kept going. "We've have good actors before, ones that could fool many of us. There were a few that even almost got Suzaku. I don't want to risk it, especially now that you seem to be happy again!"

Marianne considered Nunnally's words, trying to ignore the need to shout at her daughter and storm off. She was certainly busier now, but that was mostly because she was trying to avoid thinking about her lost son. She was trying to throw herself into the life that she remembered having and hope that something stuck, that something was enough to get her back to what she remembered as normal. Perhaps she was happier now that she wasn't consumed with the need to search through the databases for any news of Lelouch or wait for hours for the next interview in a state of nervousness. Perhaps the life she was trying to get back to was the better one for her, but she would never be able to know now that there was another spot of hope that her son had been found. It would be a test of her willpower to allow this and then walk away, but the odds were too well stacked in their favor just to let it go so easily. And then there was always the part of her that would be the mother, no matter how much she tried to push it away.

She stood up, trying to keep her voice level as she spoke. It wouldn't do to make it sound like she was punishing Nunnally to coming to this decision on her own, especially when Nunnally was so visibly torn by it. "I want to see him."

"Mother…"

"I respect your request that we don't see any more people posing to be Lelouch, but I want you to respect my request that we see this one as the last one."

"But it will just hurt more if he's not Lelouch."

"Nunnally, it hurts just as much now." Marianne glanced at her daughter before picking up her book and walking back into the house. Nunnally didn't know, and she wouldn't know, how much Marianne had suffered to get to her place as one of Charles' wives. Nunnally wouldn't know how much Marianne had suffered as one of Charles' wives, the only one who had a commoner background. And, despite the ten years that had passed since the incident, there were still moments when she forgot that Charles was dead and turned to address him. It was getting better, but it still hurt. And Marianne was sure that there would be more moments in her life that would cause her pain, but that was no reason to run away from them.

If she had run away, she wouldn't have been here and, despite losing both her husband and her son, she wouldn't change that decision for the world.

Marianne motioned for Jeremiah to walk beside her when they entered the castle again, the guard managing to bow while walking. "My lady?"

"I will give Nunnally an hour before I send a request over to the Ashford estate for this person they are claiming to be Lelouch. I want you to let him in and escort him to my study, no matter what Nunnally orders." Marianne took a deep breath, her hand tightening around her book. "And then I want you to remind me of this incident when I try to interview any others. This is absolutely the last time that I will do this."

"Yes, my lady."

She nodded, forcing herself to relax. "Then, you are to start looking through our old contacts. After the wedding, I intend to get back into fighting shape."

Jeremiah nodded. "I believe Earl Asplund has begun to work on a new generation of Knightmares. He would be delighted to have your input, especially since you were the one to pilot the Ganymede."

She smiled at that. "I'm sure he would."

Marianne glanced to the side, staring at the wall as she walked back to her study. To do what she really wanted to do, go back to piloting Knightmare Frames, she would have to move back to Pendragon. Earl Asplund was the only one she trusted to come up with workable designs, even on the mass produced models. His facility was already set up in Pendragon and working with funds from Schneizel, Marianne didn't have the space or enough money to convince Earl Asplund to move, just her own services.

It would do her good to move away from this castle. It had been nice for Schneizel to offer it to her, but Marianne couldn't hide here forever. She wouldn't become like most of the other royal wives, too scared to come out of their refuges because they were afraid that they would be killed next. She was still remembered and had some clout in court, and she knew that Schneizel would appreciate another ally. And, maybe, it would be enough to keep her busy and keep her from falling to the temptation of looking for Lelouch again. She would have to talk it over with Nunnally before she started to plan anything for sure, but it would probably do them both good. It was no use hiding from things that would never come after them again.

Perhaps the best way to get over Lelouch wasn't to just stop themselves and hope for the best, maybe it was the act of moving on that would help the most.

* * *

><p>When Milly had announced that Lady Marianne wanted to see him, Lelouch had thought that he would be led into another interview, not that he would be let into a room by a guard that had glared at him from the moment that he had entered the castle. He had also expected to have Lady Marianne and Princess Nunnally in the room with him, not that the room would be completely deserted. It took all of Lelouch's self control not to begin pacing or playing with his necklace, it would be better to focus on what was coming up and not on how he was regretting not bringing Suzaku with him.<p>

Suzaku had stayed back with Milly and the others. Lelouch wished that he could forget the look of loss that had been on Suzaku's face as he had left. It was all too easy to figure out what Suzaku was thinking, that he was about to lose Lelouch just when he had found him. After all, having the papers that said he was Prince Lelouch was half of the struggle. It was convincing his mother and sister that would be the hard part.

That thought brought Lelouch up short. It was strange to think of Lady Marianne and Princess Nunnally as his mother and sister. He had no memories of them from before the massacre, just vague feelings that he assumed were associated with them. Lelouch sighed, standing up from his chair and walking around it so he could hold onto the back. He was essentially a blank slate, which meant he had nothing in his favor. What he did remember were little inconsequential things, nothing that would startle anyone into believing that he was who he said he was. The papers that proved he was Prince Lelouch were the only thing that would help him.

But would Marianne and Nunnally want to take him back knowing that he couldn't remember anything about them? It would just make it more difficult for them in the end, having to remind him about things that he should know. Even if they chose to recognize him as a prince, they would probably choose to keep him away from the rest of the family so he didn't embarrass them, something that he would be fine with.

He didn't want the pomp and circumstance of the royal family, he had heard about all the trouble and scandals that came along with it. He just wanted a place where he knew he was safe, where he didn't have to worry about being turned out the next day. He wanted to know that he was secure and he would be for the rest of his life. And, as a more recent addition, he wanted to be sure that Suzaku was there as well.

Lelouch looked up as the door opened, surprised to see the guard that had escorted him to the room was back, but he was holding the door open for a young lady. Lelouch stared at her, trying to place her from the pictures he had seen of the princesses. It was only after the guard slammed the door shut behind the young woman with more force than necessary that Lelouch bowed. As of now, he had no right to stare, not when he was just another person who had come to beg for their attention. The fact that he had to beg for it made his stomach curl, but he made sure to check his pride. There were far worse things that he could have been doing than bowing to royalty.

"I would have expected you to announce yourself." He looked up slightly as the young woman spoke.

"I…I don't think I have that right yet."

The young woman raised an eyebrow at him before gesturing for him to sit down. Lelouch complied with the order, making sure to stay far away from the scowling guard. "You're better than the others that have come before you. They've all claimed that right for themselves immediately."

"You're the only one who can tell me that." Lelouch smiled. He looked away a moment later when the young woman frowned, trying to find something else to look at. His gaze lingered on a few books in the bookshelves before he looked at the floor. "Thank you for seeing me, Princess Nunnally."

"This was my mother's doing." He glanced up at that, surprised at the look of anger on Nunnally's face. "I didn't want anything to do with this, especially if it would get her hopes up. But she was the one to call you over and it was all I could do to convince her to wait until I spoke with you. And I was right, it would have been worse to have her come in here first. You look so much like my brother."

"So I've been told."

That answer didn't seem to satisfy her, Nunnally narrowing her eyes for a moment. Lelouch carefully kept himself from meeting her gaze. To her, he wasn't a prince so he didn't have that privilege. Unfortunately, he kept meeting the gaze of Nunnally's guard, which just made him want Suzaku to be in the room. It made him want _anyone_ to be in the room, just to have someone to defend him. The guard looked ready to kill him just for existing.

Lelouch swallowed, gripping the armrests of his chair to keep from reaching for the chain. He wouldn't bow to this pressure. There were five people who already thought that he was the lost prince and there were official papers to prove it. This was an important formality, but a formality nonetheless. Lelouch took a breath, looking away from the guard and back at Nunnally. "There is no need for any of this. I don't intend to harm anyone."

"Whether you intend to or not, it will happen."

Lelouch sighed. He was aware that Nunnally was very protective of Lady Marianne and, if he had been in her place, he would have been as protective as she was.

"_Why are you always like this?"_

"_Because she's _important_."_

"_You're overdoing it. Can't you just back off a little?"_

"_I…I…Then who would look after her?"_

"_Maybe she can look after herself."_

"_But what if she gets hurt and I'm not there?"_

"_Lelouch."_

He jumped as Nunnally cleared her throat, blushing. "I guess so, but what I want isn't what the others have wanted."

"So, no money or glory? You just want the title?"

Lelouch sighed, trying to hold back his temper. Nunnally was on the defensive, which was bad for him. He wouldn't be able to convince her of anything, not with her trying to make him mess up. And he didn't even know what he was looking for or how he could manage to convince her otherwise. Lelouch shook his head. "What I want is very simple. I want to know what you and others already know, who I am and if I have somewhere to go. If that's not here, then I'll leave and you'll never hear from me again."

The expression on her face told Lelouch that she would have preferred that he had just left them alone. He leaned back in his seat, glad that he had gotten that out of the way. Nunnally was probably used to people who came just for the money and would still treat him as such, despite the fact that he had told her his motives. He hoped that telling her would at least get her to relax a little.

His plan didn't seem to be working, because Nunnally just tensed. He thought that she was going to begin to question him, but she just raised her hand. Her guard moved from his place by her side, Nunnally turning around to address the guard. "Rolo, fetch my mother. Let's finish this business."

Rolo bowed before leaving the room. Lelouch kept an eye on Nunnally, not surprised when she waited to speak until Rolo had shut the door behind him.

"I have never heard of anyone simply coming to us for that." She tipped her head to the side. "They have all wanted the same thing, money and power. And you really want none of that?"

"Money and power are useful, but not gained like this." Lelouch smirked. "I have enough pride to want to gain them on my own and not through these means. No, what I said is true. I just want to know about myself."

"And why wouldn't you know already?"

Lelouch sighed, glancing at the door before standing up. Without Rolo there to glare at him, he felt justified in starting to pace. It was that or to start playing with the chain of the locket, and Lelouch was sure that pacing would be the more welcome reaction. It looked more natural, less like he was going to try and kill the princess.

He paced against the wall, trying to sort out his thoughts in an acceptable manner. "I…I don't remember anything before I was eight, before I came to the orphanage. But I sometimes get flashes, an emotion, snippets of conversation, but it's not anything huge. I'm missing large portions of my life before I was eight and I simply want them back. I don't care if it means I'm a prince or just the son of some woman who died ten years ago. It bothers me and I want it fixed. That is all."

"And this is you trying to fix it."

"Yes." Lelouch chuckled to himself, pausing to look at the bookshelf. "And it's the best bet that I've gotten. I have no intention of giving up until I have made sure that this is not right."

Nunnally chuckled, Lelouch looking back over his shoulder. He was glad that he had gotten a laugh out of her; it meant that she was starting to relax. He turned his attention to the books, tracing his finger over the spines. There was nothing there that really interested him, but it was a distraction. Lelouch paused, tapping his finger on one of the books. He was tempted to pull it out, but he resisted the urge, just dragging his finger down the spine instead. "You have my word on this, Princess Nunnally. I'll leave if I am proven wrong in this."

He could be sure of that promise, although the odds were significantly in his favor, especially with the results of the DNA test. But the point was to make Nunnally feel at ease, to make her relax so she would just listen to him instead of making immediate judgments.

Then there was the fact that this promise would prepare her for any eventuality, like the slim chance that both Nunnally and Marianne would reject him outright. If he promised that he would go away, then it wouldn't make her hate him, then she would be protected from any bad news afterward, because he would just become another imposter that he had interviewed. And there was nothing more important than protecting Nunnally and Marianne.

Lelouch shook his head, taking a step back from the bookcase. He was surprised to see that Nunnally was smiling. He kept close to the bookshelf as Nunnally went to the door, calling for one of the servants. Lelouch tensed as the servant ducked into the room, pretending not to listen to Nunnally calling for refreshment. He turned his attention back to the books, pulling one down on chess and flipping through it.

He only looked up again when he heard the servant return, wishing that he had something else to distract his attention with. He wanted to be cleared immediately, to be able to know and then leave. Lelouch had been on edge for a week now, between the training from Milly and the interviews that he had been put through thus far. What he really wanted to do was to curl up in bed and have the time to wrap his mind around the fact that he was a prince and what that would entail. He had hoped to do that earlier, but he had ended up curled around Suzaku, too shocked from the news to really start processing it.

There was a soft clatter as the servant set the tea set and a plate of sandwiches down. Lelouch looked over his shoulder at the servant, sighing and sliding the book back into place. It looked like there would be no way to prevent extending the interview. He sighed and walked back over to the chair, sitting down. He made no move to reach for the tea or the sandwiches, still too keyed up to eat.

Nunnally reached for the food, carefully putting a few sandwiches on a plate before motioning for him to make his choice. Lelouch was tempted to decline her offer, not wanting to risk food on top of his churning stomach, when he noticed the type of sandwiches that she had pulled from the plate. He raised an eyebrow. "Cucumber?"

"Yes." Nunnally paused with a sandwich in her hand. "What of it?"

"You never like cucumber before. Mother had to force you to eat them." Lelouch chuckled to himself, reaching up for the golden chain without thinking and twisting it around his fingers. "Whenever you wanted to have tea parties with Euphy, Mother always said that you had to have one cucumber sandwich, because you wouldn't eat any vegetables otherwise. Mother always wanted to avoid making a scene at the table, especially with the chance that some of the other wives could be there."

"She did?"

Lelouch nodded, smiling to himself. "Anything to keep us from being the laughingstock of the other wives."

He jumped at the sound of the plate being set down on the table. Lelouch stared at Nunnally, tensing as he noticed that she was staring at his neck. He pressed his hand against the side of his neck, stilling the movement of his fingers.

Nunnally leaned forward, pointing at the chain that he had twined around his fingers. "What is that?"

"This?" Lelouch fought the urge to hide the chain. He hadn't meant to show the chain to Nunnally, he had meant to keep it hidden, keep it his. But that didn't quite make sense because his whole reason for having the locket was to return it to one person. His first urge to hide the locket must have just been because he had owned the locket for so long.

He swallowed and reached back to undo the clasp. Lelouch fumbled with it for a moment, unused to having to take it off. Before now, he had only taken it off for showers, and even then he had kept it close to him. Lelouch tightened his grip on the undone chain, pressing the locket to his skin before lifting it over his head. After all, it was not his to keep.

Lelouch pulled the locket from his neck, letting it settle into his hand, careful not to tangle the chain. He glanced at the heart shaped charm at the end before holding it out to Nunnally. The princess was slow to take the locket, Lelouch sure that she would change her mind at any moment.

She cradled the locket in her hands, glancing between Lelouch and the necklace. "I had one like this when I was a child. But I lost it." She shook her head, opening the locket and listening to the song that played softly.

Lelouch watched the smile slowly disappear from her face as the melody played. Nunnally's hands began to tremble, Lelouch resisting the urge to lunge for the locket as it came close to falling out of Nunnally's hands. Instead, he sat back in his seat, watching Nunnally's face as she stared in the locket.

"This is…this is _my_ locket." Nunnally looked up at him. "This is the lullaby that mother used to sing to me before I went to sleep. She sang it every night, even after the massacre." She laughed. "The last time I saw this, my brother had it. Where did you get this?"

Lelouch cleared his throat. "I've always had it. They found it with me."

"You mean they gave it to you."

"No. I was found with it. That locket has never left my sight the entirety of the life that I remember."

"But then…" Nunnally trailed off, turning to look at the door as it opened.

Lelouch turned to stare at the two who were entering the room, scrambling to his feet so he could bow to Lady Marianne. He flinched at the gasp that Marianne gave, taking a step back. Lelouch glanced over at Nunnally before straightening up. "My lady."

"Mother," Nunnally spoke up, holding out the necklace, "He has my locket."

Marianne didn't even look at the locket, instead raising her hand. Only then did Lelouch see the papers rolled up in Marianne's hand. He craned his head to see them, giving up when Marianne started to speak. "Have you seen these, Nunnally?"

"No." Nunnally closed her hands over the locket. "Are those the papers that Euphy had?"

"Yes. Rolo brought them to me when he came to get me." Marianne took a shaky step forward. "Look at them."

Nunnally snatched the papers from her mother's hand, Lelouch staying still as she scanned over what was written there. He looked at the floor, not wanting to meet Rolo's murderous stare or Marianne's hopeful look. It wasn't his place to try and change their minds, not at this stage.

He glanced back up as he heard the papers flutter to the floor, Lelouch staring at them and almost missing Nunnally when she stood up. He could just see a picture and the edge of the formal letter, but nothing more. Lelouch didn't get the chance to go and see, he was distracted by Nunnally reaching out for him. "You're him. You're really him."

Lelouch opened his mouth to speak, but just ended up nodding. There really was nothing to say.

Marianne walked toward him, stopping just in front of him with her arms still out. She waited for a moment before lowering her arms back to her sides. Lelouch almost took it as rejection until he saw that she was smiling. "You've grown…"

"Yes." Lelouch glanced down at himself before shrugging. "I have."

She reached out for him, stopping just short of touching him. Lelouch glanced at her outstretched arm, not sure if he should breech the distance. For all of the evidence for him, Lelouch could remember nothing about her. He looked away, taken completely by surprise when Nunnally hugged him. He took a step back, staring down at the princess as she tightened her hold on him.

"You're back. You're alive."

Lelouch cautiously wrapped his arms around her, looking around the room to see if he was doing the right thing. Rolo was the only one that looked like he didn't like the situation, but Lelouch expected that from Rolo. He shifted nervously before wrapping his arms around Nunnally and hugging her back.

To his relief, Nunnally released him quickly. The princess hurried back to her seat, gesturing for Lelouch to sit down. He hesitated before following the order, glancing over at Marianne as she took a seat in the third chair in the room. He swallowed and looked at the two of them, a bit intimidated by how eager Nunnally seemed. The princess was leaning forward and smiling at him. "Tell us what happened Lelouch."

He was stunned at her demand, staring at her before managing a nervous smile. He would have preferred just to listen to the two of them, it seemed to be the thing that helped him the most. Others would tell him the major events while his memories filled in all the little inconsequential ones, the ones that seemed to have mattered the most of him.

Lelouch cleared his throat and sat back in his chair. He supposed that he would get his chance to listen soon enough, for now he would just have to continue to play the role until he was sure of himself.

* * *

><p>Mao paced the confines of his hotel room, alternately checking his phone and the television for any news. So far, there was nothing of interest going on in England or Britannia save for the confirmed news of Emperor Schneizel's divorce. There was nothing on the boy that the knights had brought back, not even in the gossip on the streets. He growled in frustration before throwing the phone on the bed.<p>

It didn't make any sense. That boy was important. The Geass Order had kept a file on him and Mao knew C.C. was only drawn to competent and important people. It was one of the reasons that she had been drawn to him; she had been able to see his potential. A boy that important wouldn't disappear without a trace. Certainly there would be something about him, even if it was something as little as a conspiracy theory on the internet. But there was nothing.

Mao glared at his phone before going back to his pacing. It had been days since his last visit to the royal residence and he was still no closer to finding a way to draw the boy out. If there was a weakness, anything that he could exploit then it would have made his job easier. Instead, there was just silence from the royal residence. There had been silence for too long.

He threw himself onto the bed with a huff, staring at the ceiling before drumming his fingers on the blankets. He wouldn't be able to survive another day of this; it was taking too long to avenge C.C. By now, the boy should have been dead and he should have been starting his new life elsewhere. Mao flipped over to his side, plucking at a loose thread.

This was the only time he would admit to missing the Geass Order. They had been able to feed him all the information that he had needed for a mission before. Doing it on his own now made the mission less fun than before. Before it had always been so fun, just sneaking in and killing the person and then sneaking out. And, at the end of all of those missions, there had been something from C.C. to show that she was proud of his work, even if they had to pretend that Mao hadn't done anything. That had been what had made the missions worth his while.

Now it was just a lot of sitting around and planning for himself on no information. It was not the fun he thought it was.

Mao huffed and flopped onto his stomach, poking at one of the pillows. There was only one thing to do at this point. There wouldn't be any more information, not at this rate. So now it was time to make his move on his own, which involved more planning.

He pressed his face against the bed with a long groan. He was bored with planning and plotting, it was much more fun just to come up with an idea and go along with it. So, it made sense to come up with a quick plan that he was sure would work and then skip straight to the fun part. Mao grinned to himself. That made more sense than just waiting around here for more information, especially since more information wouldn't come, at least not within a time frame he was comfortable with.

He wouldn't be able to avenge C.C. if he was captured.

Mao sat up, staring at the television before turning it off. It would be just a distraction now. He had a new plan of attack to work out, one that would be completely satisfactory.

He had always planned to use the garden as a means to escape because it would be easy to sneak in and out of while people searched for him. Gardens were sure to have nooks that he could hide himself away in and plenty of places he could sneak out through. So the set up had to involve the garden, which was easy enough. It was the matter of drawing out the boy that was the main problem.

Even that wouldn't take much effort though; it just involved the right bait.

Mao picked up his phone, tapping it against his neck. The three people who had been with the boy were too much for him to handle. Mao was skilled with a knife, but that would only guarantee the death of one of them. He shoved that idea aside, thinking over his other options. Going after Cornelia and Euphemia would be equally as stupid, Cornelia was able to defend herself well enough, which would leave her fiancée and knights to defend Euphemia. It was another battle that he would not be able to win. Lady Marianne was equally as impossible to use for that reason too.

He sat up, tapping out a quick rhythm on the bed before sliding off of it. That just left one other person, the one that was probably his best bet. It was well known that everyone adored Princess Nunnally, even though she had not been politically active in a long while. Anyone would be willing to risk their life to save her, including a boy recently introduced to the royal family. And especially one that was probably being groomed to become a part of Cornelia's guard.

It was perfect. Nunnally had no knight to guard her, so it would be no trouble for him to take her into the garden, perhaps to the little chapel there just to have some place to meet. Sneaking into the castle wouldn't be too hard either, not with the tours that were going on around the castle. All he needed to do was join one of them and then sneak in.

Mao stretched, grunting when something in his back popped. It was good to have a plan, good to know that he would be finally making his move after over a week of waiting. He could finally do something. Mao grinned, gathering together what he would need in a bag while humming to himself. He probably wouldn't move immediately, it would take another day to be sure that everything was ready, but he was willing to wait for a day more.

"Do you hear that C.C?" He did a tight twirl, throwing his phone in the air and catching it. "I'll be avenging you soon. No more waiting around." Mao laughed, staring at the phone that he held in his hands. "I'm sorry I got distracted C.C. It won't happen again. I'll finish this last job and then I'll come back and get you before anyone else does. Then we can live together forever. And no one will bother us."

He grinned and turned back to his packing, carefully pulling out the knives he had stowed away in his baggage and the gun that he had carried with him. The gun was only a formality, just in case things got out of hand quickly. Mao preferred the personal touch that the knife gave him; he had done his best work with knives. Although there had been that one time with the chainsaw…

Mao shoved his phone into his pocket, picking up his bag. Everything that was in the room now wouldn't be connected back to him, so it was safe to leave it there. Mao doubted that he would be back to claim any of it, he would be too busy running. He smiled to himself, swinging the bag over his shoulder. Running was part of the fun too, running meant that he was still alive and would be getting away with it. Mao stifled another laugh and ducked out of the room.

* * *

><p>Suzaku carefully opened the door, peering into the large room. He missed Lelouch at the first glance through, finding the prince slouched in a chair by the fire place. Suzaku cleared his throat, entering the room as quietly as he could. He hadn't seen Lelouch since earlier that afternoon, not since he had gotten the news that Lelouch really was the lost prince. He had barely gotten the time to adjust to that fact before Lelouch had been summoned before Marianne and Nunnally, and he hadn't seen Lelouch since. And that had been hours ago.<p>

He let the door shut behind him, watching as Lelouch roused himself at the sound of the door sliding into place. "Who's…Suzaku?"

"Here." Suzaku hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should add a title to the end of that statement.

He didn't get too much time to think on it, because Lelouch was already crossing the room. Suzaku leaned back as Lelouch leaned against him, not making the contact a hug but still pressing close to him. Suzaku stared down at him for a moment before wrapping his arms around Lelouch. "My lord?"

Suzaku grunted as Lelouch elbowed his stomach. "None of that."

"But Lelouch…"

He heard a growl, Lelouch pulling away. Suzaku watched as Lelouch stormed across the room, the prince flopping down on the bed. Suzaku was slow to follow, not sure of Lelouch anymore. He hadn't heard anything from Marianne and Nunnally, but he assumed that Lelouch had been accepted because Lelouch was staying with them. That had been the reason he had been called over to the castle, to deliver the last of Lelouch's things from the Ashford estate.

Suzaku set the backpack that Lelouch had brought from Japan down by his feet before walking over to the bed. He sat down beside Lelouch, hesitantly reaching out for him, pausing halfway through the motion.

Lelouch was the one to finish it, grabbing onto Suzaku's hand and holding it. Suzaku was jerked to the side the next minute when Lelouch pulled him closer, resting his head on Suzaku's shoulder. "It's official now, I'm the prince."

"Isn't that what you wanted?" The question got a shrug, Lelouch curling closer to him. Suzaku glanced down at him, draping one arm around Lelouch. "You wanted to know who you were and where you belonged. You've got that now."

"I've got the answer without the steps to it." Lelouch gave a frustrated growl, briefly digging his nails into Suzaku's shoulder before slumping. "I know who I am, but I don't remember anything that goes along with it. Until I do, I'm just playing a part."

"Don't."

"I _have_ to." Lelouch looked up. "There's a certain behavior expected of me as a prince and I have to behave according to it."

"They have no right to force you to do this."

"It isn't a matter of forcing me." Lelouch sighed and sat up, reaching for his neck only to drop his hand. Suzaku narrowed his eyes and peered at Lelouch's neck, unable to see anything in the dark room. He couldn't see the expression that Lelouch was giving him, but he was sure that it was one of Lelouch's amused expressions.

Lelouch sighed. "They just expect a certain Lelouch, one that I am not."

"If it makes you feel any better, you already act a lot like Prince Lelouch." That made Lelouch chuckle, Suzaku relaxing at the sound. "I'm serious. You're just as arrogant as he was…Well, as you were when you were little."

"I doubt amnesia would actually change the personality of a person." Suzaku was sure that Lelouch was smirking now, glad that he had managed to get Lelouch out of the funk that he had sunk into.

Suzaku knocked Lelouch's shoulder with his own. Lelouch made a soft noise of shock before recovering. Suzaku grinned, not sure if Lelouch could see it in the dark. He was surprised when Lelouch shifted, pushing him down against the bed. Suzaku went without a struggle, laughing as Lelouch pinned him down. He grunted as Lelouch draped himself over him.

"Does that go for you too?" Suzaku tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. When he didn't answer for a while, Lelouch leaned forward so their foreheads were touching, Lelouch's grip on his shoulders. "Suzaku, I will never be the Lelouch that you want. I will never be the Lelouch you remember."

"That's fine."

"It shouldn't be! You've spent your whole life searching for this one person and...and…" Lelouch sighed and pushed away from him, the mattress dipping as Lelouch sat beside him. "He's gone, Suzaku, and he's not coming back. It shouldn't be _fine_."

"Lelouch," Suzaku turned onto his side. "I was looking for the prince."

"You were looking for _your_ prince."

"Then we agree that I was looking for the prince, and I found him. That's how it's fine." Suzaku reached out to tap Lelouch's knee. "And you're more like that prince than you think."

His hand was swatted away. "You're sounding far too insightful and intelligent. Has something happened?"

"Nothing." Suzaku reached up, groping for Lelouch's shoulder. He found it and used it to pull Lelouch over him again, holding Lelouch there when the prince tried to get up. "Hey, stay."

"Why?"

Suzaku shrugged, pressing his face against Lelouch's shoulder. He wanted a moment with Lelouch before he went back to the barracks. He was going to have to live with these stolen moments for a while. Lelouch would be presented to the royal family present in the castle and he would be spending most of his waking hours with them. Then he would be presented to the rest of the royal family at Pendragon and have to navigate the perils of court. Suzaku would have to cope with Lelouch being out of his reach for a month for more, even if he was Lelouch's personal knight.

He relaxed as Lelouch slumped against him, smoothing a hand up Lelouch's back. He felt Lelouch shiver at that, surprised when Lelouch shifted to tuck his head under Suzaku's chin. "Comfortable?"

"Very." Lelouch sighed, Suzaku shivering at the puff of air over his skin. "But I would rather be talking about what we are going to do next than just lying here. We didn't get the chance earlier."

"What's there to discuss? I thought we had settled this before. I plan to become your personal knight, if you will allow it."

"I won't argue with that. I trust you more than anyone. I remember you more than anyone." Lelouch hesitated for a moment. "I can feel you smirking and it's not because you are destined to be my knight or any of that nonsense. I think it's because you talked to me the most. Give me some time with the others and I may remember other things."

"Ah, ruin my dreams."

Suzaku got an elbow to the ribs for that comment, feeling Lelouch laugh on top of him. "It's about the other thing. This thing."

Suzaku raised his head, staring at the dark shadow that was Lelouch's body. "I thought we had settled that too."

"That was before I was the prince."

"And it will be settled now that you were the prince." Suzaku raised one shoulder in a shrug. "Unless you've changed your mind."

"No." Lelouch shook his head. "No, I haven't. I like having someone I can be myself around."

"So, then it's settled again?" He heard Lelouch sigh, taking that as his answer.

Suzaku wrapped his arms around Lelouch, turning their position into an embrace, waiting for a protest from Lelouch. When none came, Suzaku looped a leg around Lelouch, brushing his foot along the back of Lelouch's calf. He smiled when Lelouch shuddered, gasping against him. "Is it settled, my prince?"

"No. Not when we're alone." Lelouch pushed his torso up. "Never when we're alone. And I'll make that an order if I have to."

Suzaku nodded, carefully maneuvering the two of them onto their sides. Lelouch immediately snuggled up to him, clutching him close. Suzaku looked down at Lelouch, considering his choices. Officially he was still on leave, and would be for a few more days. He had only planned to return to the barracks since Lelouch was no longer staying at the Ashford estate, Suzaku didn't feel like he could stay with the Ashfords with his one reason for being there gone. As much as he had been present in the households of the nobles, he had never really felt like he had belonged there. Strangely enough he had always felt the most comfortable in the royal household, but maybe that was just because of Lelouch.

He pressed a kiss to the top of Lelouch's head, feeling Lelouch squirm in his arms. "Lelouch…"

"Sh." The rebuke was softened by a kiss to his neck, right on his tattoo. "Sleep."

Suzaku wanted to argue, wanted to say that it was probably best that they didn't do this. He was sure that, if he stayed the night, Lelouch would be late to whatever Lady Marianne had planned for him and he didn't want to be the reason that Prince Lelouch was late to meet his mother, at least not for a while. But it was hard to argue with the warm press of Lelouch against him.

Suzaku wrapped his arms more tightly around Lelouch, hiding his smile in Lelouch's hair as he settled down to sleep.


	11. Chapter 10: No More Pretend

**Chapter Ten: No More Pretend**

Kallen wasn't surprised that she found Suzaku at the castle instead of in the barracks. It made more sense that he would be there, especially since Lelouch had been officially moved to the castle the night before. Kallen wasn't completely sure of the details of Lelouch's interview with Nunnally and Marianne, only that they had kept him for a long while before ordering for what little Lelouch had to be moved into a room at Windsor. Kallen hadn't bothered too much with the details after that. Suzaku had volunteered to move Lelouch's things and there had been a small party in the guard's barracks. After putting up with the stress of hiding the prince from his family and worrying about what their reactions would be, Kallen was more than ready for a party.

Officially, it had been to celebrate the divorce of Emperor Schneizel and Evelina, the latter none of the guards had particularly liked. There had been some element to the celebration for the five young men who had been chosen by Dalton to serve as a part of Cornelia's guard after she had gotten married, but Kallen was sure that would be an official celebration for them when they were presented to Cornelia. But it had been too good of an opportunity to pass up since most of those stationed at Windsor wouldn't be going with Marianne and the princesses to the wedding.

Secretly, she and Gino celebrated the finding of Prince Lelouch. Kallen wasn't sure if they had permission to spread the word that they had found them. But, considering that Lady Marianne had not yet told the guards herself, Kallen was more than willing to hold her tongue. It was Gino that she would have to watch. He was probably the one that would let the secret slip out.

Kallen sighed, rubbing her forehead and wincing. She had barely kept herself from overindulging the night before, a combination of all the stress disappearing and Gino's drunken attempts a flirting with her. She had allowed herself to get just drunk enough to have a headache the next morning. Kallen knew that she should have been thankful for Gino's high alcohol tolerance or else the messenger that Marianne had sent to them that morning would have probably been injured. Eight in the morning was far too early to receive news that they were expected to meet with Lady Marianne concerning the matter of her son.

At least she had managed to get up and get ready before Gino, who had spent the most of the morning waving away her attempts to get him out of bed. She had only made three before giving up on him and trusting that he would show up on his own. Gino was old enough to take care of himself without her babying him every step of the way. It wouldn't be her fault if he failed to show up to their audience on time, she had tried to get him up.

She sighed and walked up to where Suzaku was leaning against the balustrade, mimicking his position. Kallen didn't bother to wait until he looked at her, glancing out toward the garden. With Lelouch out in the garden getting pulled around by Nunnally and Euphemia, Suzaku wouldn't be acknowledging her presence for a long while.

Kallen shifted her weight so she could lean on the stone railing a bit more comfortably, watching as Euphemia took a hold of Lelouch and started to drag him to another part of the garden, noticing when Suzaku tensed. Her first reaction was to tell him off for worrying, it was obvious that Lelouch was safe and there were plenty of guards around to protect him. Now that Lelouch had been found it was time for Suzaku to start looking after himself.

She bit her lip to stop herself from speaking, turning so she was looking at Suzaku directly. He looked far more relaxed than she had ever seen him, even with the slight scare from before when Lelouch had moved out of his line of sight. There was still enough dependence on Lelouch's presence that made her wary, but such dependence on anything made her worry.

Kallen blinked at the bit of red on Suzaku's neck, taking a moment figure out what part of Suzaku's clothes had red on it, only to realize that she was catching a glimpse of the tattoo around Suzaku's neck. She wanted to recoil, but stopped herself. If she showed that she had noticed then Suzaku would be self conscious about it again, just another insecurity of his that drove her crazy.

Suzaku didn't need a prince to make himself feel like a worthy human being. Kallen had heard the story of what had happened the night of the massacre, how Suzaku had lost his father that night and then had been carried away to be used as a political tool. There were some whispers through the barracks that he had been horribly tortured, but Kallen wasn't sure that it was the truth. All she was sure about was that Suzaku had a tattoo, one that she hadn't even seen the full extent of, but it was something that had completely defined his life from that point on, a bunch of ink on his skin.

At least now he wasn't worrying about his tattoo or whatever else made Suzaku unworthy in his mind, and that was something that Kallen would give credit to Lelouch for. Suzaku didn't need a prince to make himself feel worthy, but maybe he needed one to be able to convince himself to overlook his flaws.

Kallen quickly steered herself away from that train of thought, it was far too complicated to be thought over with what felt like half a hangover still lingering. Instead she reached over and poked his arm, waiting until he looked at her to give him a lazy smile. "You missed a great party."

From the way that Suzaku started, Kallen assumed that he hadn't known. Then again, with the guards all knowing Suzaku, they probably hadn't invited him to spare him the embarrassment of stumbling through a polite refusal or coming up with an excuse. She shrugged, shifting so she could pillow her chin on her arms. "Although I'm assuming that you found something else to occupy your time with."

"Yes." Suzaku blushed. "Lelouch wanted to talk with me."

"And I assume everything got worked out." Kallen waited for Suzaku's nod before returning her attention to the royal siblings in the garden. "Good. I wouldn't have been able to punch him otherwise."

She expected Suzaku to laugh, or at least to glare at her in some attempt to curb her humor. But she didn't except him to stare at her. "Why?"

Kallen blinked and pushed away from the railing. She turned to look at Suzaku, rubbing a hand over her face when she saw the earnest look that he was giving her. "Because, prince or not, he has no right to jerk you around like that." When there was no comprehension following her statement, Kallen groaned and shook her head. "Look, I'm your friend so I look out for you, alright? But I'm not above letting you sort out your own problems, remember that. Lelouch falls under one of your problems. I'm just here to make sure you don't do something monumentally stupid."

"Right." Suzaku was nodding, Kallen feeling a bit better about her mangled explanation. If she had managed to do that much then there was no reason that she would fail utterly at the audience with Lady Marianne.

Kallen took out her cell phone, checking the time on the screen before looking back into the castle. Gino had said that he would meet her, but he still hadn't shown up and the time for their audience was fast approaching. She sighed and shook her head, slipping her cell phone back into her pocket. Sometimes she wondered if she was just asking for trouble now that she was considering a relationship with Gino. After all, he never took things seriously enough and he was a Britannian noble, but he was irritatingly charming and had succeeded in wearing her down this far. Even with those things in mind she would not cover for him. Gino was old enough to handle his own problems.

She reached out to pat Suzaku on the shoulder. "Make sure he doesn't disappear again. I'm not in the mood for chasing after Lelouch again."

That got a short laugh from Suzaku. "Where are you going?"

"Lady Marianne sent for us. It's probably to discuss how to handle the Lelouch situation and dole out the reward, nothing big. Apparently it's important enough to be woken up especially early for it."

"Well she was a solider once, that's a habit that she hasn't broken." Suzaku turned his attention back to the royals in the garden. "And she probably wants to spend the day with Lelouch, so she's getting business out of the way early."

"If you say so." Kallen waved before walking back into the castle, leaving Suzaku to stare out into the gardens. He would probably be out there for a while and ridiculously content with that. She shook her head but forced herself to just leave it alone. Suzaku deserved to have a few days to settle into this and, perhaps, he would get better after getting his position as a knight.

She sighed and shook her head. Maybe Gino was right about just leaving him alone, it was so much easier to just worry about herself and her own problems than try to fix Suzaku's. Suzaku had proven more than once that he didn't want to be fixed by her, so maybe this was the final hint. At least that meant now she could focus herself on her budding relationship with Gino and her mother's health.

"Oh, Kallen!" She turned at the sound of Gino's voice, yelping as he caught her by the arm and spun her around.

Kallen allowed herself to be spun once before she clawed at Gino's hand, freeing herself. She stumbled back, glaring at him, glad that he stepped back and raised his hands in surrender. This was another quirk that she considered annoying, his apparent inability to have a hangover. She suspected that there would be a few arguments with him being far too cheerful far too early in the morning.

She glared at him, tugging her sleeve down over her arm again. "So you finally showed up."

"Well, we were ordered to."

Kallen rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm, dragging Gino down the hall before he could spot Suzaku and insist that they talk to him. It was almost time for their appointment and Kallen was sure that Marianne would not want to wait, not when her son had returned. Gino could always find Suzaku later and she was sure that he would be able to drag Suzaku away from Lelouch long enough for the two of them to have a conversation.

Gino followed her down the hall without a complaint. Kallen caught him humming a few times under his breath. She sighed, giving his arm a shake when his humming got too annoying.

"Still have a headache?"

"_Yes._" She hissed the word out, cutting herself off from saying anything more when they came up to Marianne's study.

Jeremiah opened the door before she could knock, Kallen quickly stepping back and bumping into Gino. She was about to turn and push him back when Jeremiah motioned for them to come in. Kallen forgot about her intentions to give Gino another reminder about her personal space, all her attention going to the audience.

She had met with Lady Marianne in an official capacity a surprisingly few number of times. The first time was when she had approached Marianne asking to be part of the royal guards, specifically as Kallen Kozuki instead of Kallen Stadtfeld. The second time was when she had been knighted for her service to Marianne. All her other meetings with the former empress had been unofficial, surprising for a former soldier and Knight of the Round. Kallen guessed that it was much more comfortable for Marianne to act more casually, especially now that she was away from the rest of the court. But, despite the time she spent around Marianne and the fact that Kallen believed she knew the former empress well, meeting with Marianne in a formal setting still scared her. It was probably because of all the etiquette lessons that Kallen had sat through while her father hoped that she and Naoto would be acceptable heirs to the Stadtfeld line.

Kallen swallowed, blushing as she felt Gino's fingers brush against the back of her hand as he breezed past her. Of course Gino would figure out something to try and make her feel better, even if it ended up making her feel nervous for other reasons entirely. At least he had managed to distract her.

Jeremiah shut the door behind them, remaining standing in front of the door as Kallen shuffled further into the study. As she had expected, Gino had started up a lively conversation with Marianne about the most trivial of things. She envied him for that ease around their employer. Kallen had had the same upbringing as Gino until she was eight, until her father had decided that Japan was no longer safe for Britannians and had left Naoto and herself to their own devices and their mother to fall to Refrain. Even with that training, the constant visits to other nobles' houses and the rare visits to the Aries Villa, Kallen had never felt comfortable around the nobility. Just the setting of the audience was enough to put her on edge. She supposed it was because she had never quite adjusted to the fact that she was part of the Britannian nobility, when she had been old enough to process the idea she had already just become another Japanese citizen.

But she was sure that most of it came from the realization that her father had never come back to them. Kallen could just forgive him for his panic after the massacre of the royal family; she would have found a place to lay low too in those circumstances. But at least she would have had the decency to take her family with her instead of leaving them to fend for themselves. Her father had just left them and had gotten married nearly a month after the massacre, and it hadn't taken long for Kallen to see that's just what most of the Britannian nobles did.

The flow of conversation between Gino and Marianne slowed, Gino looking over his shoulder during one point in the conversation and jerking his head, a clear signal that he was just buying time for them. Kallen swallowed and edged over to Gino's side, slightly embarrassed about how easily she was thrown off stride and by something so normal. From what she heard from the guards of visiting nobility and the knights of royalty, it was rare to have contact with their employers outside of an official capacity. Besides, her reluctance to talk to Marianne in her own office was just another thing holding her back, and Kallen was not in the habit of letting things hold her back.

She slid into place beside Gino, keeping her eyes focused on Marianne's desk and feeling the space between her status and Marianne's for the first time in a long while. Kallen moved her hand away as Gino tried to place his over hers, wanting to be left alone while she got over this. It was better that she learned not to rely on people in situations like this; the method had always worked for her before. And then there was the fear that she would end up like Suzaku, needing someone to define herself.

Kallen looked up at Marianne, relieved to see the older woman not looking bothered by Kallen's behavior. Marianne just gestured to the chairs on the other side of her desk before sitting down herself. Kallen just followed her example, settling down on the nearest chair.

She glanced back at the door, frowning when Jeremiah remained standing in his place. If she was right and they were speaking about the reward for finding Lelouch, and there could be little else that they were discussing, Suzaku should have been there as well. Kallen was about to comment on this, but was stopped as Gino spoke up, quickly pushing the thought of Suzaku aside.

"I suppose this is where you scold us for disobeying Princess Nunnally's order."

Marianne smirked, leaning back in her chair. "You could tell her that, although I don't think that she would believe you, especially since I ignored her wishes to get her to talk to Lelouch. But I also think that she doesn't care anymore. She has her brother back." Kallen saw Marianne lean to the left in her chair, probably to get a glimpse of the gardens outside of her window and to look for Lelouch. "I don't think anyone will demand that you are held responsible for what you did. Without it, Lelouch wouldn't be back with us."

She smiled toward the window for a moment more before clearing her throat, Kallen tensing when Marianne met her gaze. "But this does have something to do with Lelouch. As you know, there was a reward for finding him and it is only fair that you get rewarded for your efforts."

"And it's only fair that I decline." Gino spoke with a smile, completely relaxed in his chair. "I honestly don't think I need any more money."

Kallen looked at the ground when he glanced over at her, wishing that she could just wave off the offer of money so flippantly. She wanted to refuse the reward as well, because they had been under orders and they had wanted to find Lelouch. It felt like stealing if she accepted the money on those grounds.

But, on the other hand, she didn't have the inheritance that Gino had waiting for him. Even if Gino had been exiled from the Weinberg estates, he would be going back. He _knew_ he would be going back; he was the only heir in the family. He would have money for the rest of his life while Kallen had to work to earn everything that she could. Aside from looking after herself, she had her mother and brother to look after. Half of her wages every month went to paying for her mother's hospital treatment. Her brother was already working two jobs pay for a small fraction of the hospital bills and to pay the rent for their small apartment. Kallen couldn't remember a time recently when she had seen Naoto for more than a few minutes and completely awake. It was one of the reasons she hadn't visited her family in Japan for a long time, she didn't want to watch them getting run down as they struggled.

She knew that the reward money from finding Lelouch would be more than enough to pay for the rent for their apartment, which would be some stress off of Naoto. And, even though she hadn't visited for a while, she and Naoto kept it touch through e-mails. From his last hastily written and typo filled report she knew that her mother was close to being let out of the hospital and ready for the last stages of her treatment at home and then, hopefully, she would be no longer dependant on Refrain. But Kallen was sure that their mother going home would just place more stress on Naoto, her brother would want to keep their mother in perfect health and wanting for nothing. Naoto wouldn't be able to juggle three jobs, even if he could make room in his schedule for it.

Kallen looked up at Marianne, purposefully keeping her hands from clenching into fists. She swallowed, making sure that she met the former empress' gaze before speaking. "I'll take my portion of the reward." She caught the look of surprised on Marianne's face, forcing herself not to feel ashamed. "I'm not doing this for myself. That money will really help my family. None of it is meant for me."

That softened the expression of disbelief on Marianne's face, Kallen resenting the older woman for a moment. Of course it was completely possible that Marianne had forgotten about Kallen's family problems in the face of her own search for Lelouch, but that slip up back Kallen want to scowl. It was the kind of noble attitude that she hated the most, one where they thought of no one but themselves. Before she did anything she regretted Kallen looked down at the floor. She wasn't willing to lose her job here; she liked it despite the few glimpses of a world she despised.

Kallen looked up when she was sure that she wouldn't glare at Gino or Marianne. She couldn't quite blame either of them for the situation that she was in, although she had expected a bit more from Marianne. After all, Marianne had been a commoner herself once. Surely she would have remembered what it was like worrying about a family that always seemed to be struggling to keep afloat.

To her surprise, Marianne didn't seem to be bothered by her outburst, calmly making a note of on a piece of paper on her desk. Marianne looked up once, clearing her throat before laying her pen down. "I'll make sure that the money is available to you as soon as possible and ready to be transferred to where you see fit."

Kallen managed a tight smile, standing up when Gino did. She bowed to Marianne, turning towards the door and walking out. She ignored Gino's attempts to grab her arm, waiting until she was in the hallway before turning to face him, pulling his arm away from her. "I don't need your charity."

Gino stared at her for a moment before shaking his head. "I know. And this isn't charity." Suddenly the smiling and happy-go-lucky Gino was gone, replaced by the serious one that Kallen had only seen a handful of times. "This is me worrying about you because, obviously, you have a lot of things on your mind. Now, just answer one question, has it gotten worse?"

"No." Kallen slumped, pressing her shoulders against the wall. "If anything it's gotten better. Everything is fine."

Kallen would have expected any other person to walk away but Gino just relaxed, his smile coming back. "Well, glad to know that." He reached out and tapped her shoulder. "You're allowed to talk to me, you know."

She just shrugged, pushing away from the wall and walking towards where she had left Suzaku. As expected, Gino tagged along, sticking close to her side. Kallen wanted to roll her eyes, but she was glad for the company, even if Gino wasn't going to remain silent for long. Of course he would attempt to pry further and she would attempt to keep from letting too much information slip out, but it felt good to have someone to talk to without it feeling like she was relying on someone too much.

Kallen glanced over her shoulder at Gino, scrutinizing him. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to take some time off as soon as Cornelia's wedding was over. She could help Naoto move their mother back into their apartment. And, maybe, it would be a chance to show Gino to her family. She knew that her mother would be pleased to see that Kallen was settling down, but Naoto might take it as a chance to remind her of what their father had done. But maybe that was what she wanted, to watch how Gino behaved around her family and find that out for herself.

She stretched her arms above her head, purposefully pushing the line of thought away. She would deal with that later. Right now she wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and sleep off her headache, but Kallen was sure that she would be woken up again to watch over the princesses. She rubbed her eyes, heaving a sigh before grabbing Gino's arm and starting to tug him down the hall.

"What's the hurry Kallen?'

She was sure that the question was accompanied by one of Gino's wide smiles, but she didn't bother to look back. "The princesses are out in the garden. I'm sure that, if the orders haven't already arrived, we'll be sent to watch over them until afternoon tea."

"Ah, about that."

Kallen glanced over at Gino out of the corner of her eye, staring at the paper that he waved at her. She supposed that she could take one of two courses of action. She could ignore Gino or she could come back with her own retort. And, by the way her head was still pounding, it would be better to just ignore Gino, but Kallen had never been able to take his teasing very well.

"You were going to tell me about this when?"

Gino looked thoughtful for a moment. "Definitely before we got back to our rooms, but after the meeting with Marianne."

Kallen reached up like she was going to strangle him, jerking her arms down at the last minute. Strangling him wouldn't help, because he would just laugh and hold her at arms length from him, which was just enough to keep him out of her reach. Any sort of retaliation would just end up getting her nowhere, at least not while he was expecting it. Kallen watched him out of the corner of her eye as Gino stuck the paper back in his pocket, planning her revenge.

It wouldn't take much to convince the princesses to go over to where the fountain was, it was a great place to have lunch. And, while they were there, Kallen would push Gino into the water for being so cheerful that morning and for the orders that he had almost forgotten to tell her about.

* * *

><p>Suzaku didn't have long to wait outside of Marianne's study. Jeremiah opened the door almost immediately for him. Suzaku nodded to the knight, slipping quietly into the room.<p>

He had stayed by his place on the balcony until he had seen that Gino and Kallen were out with the small group. He didn't want to leave Lelouch alone for too long, especially since he couldn't shake the fear that Lelouch would just suddenly disappear. He was sure that Lelouch appreciated the fact that he had stuck around for so long too. Suzaku had noticed that Lelouch had taken to glancing up at the balcony where Suzaku stood, probably waiting for Suzaku to come down and mingle. But he knew his place, he was just a guard, the knights were the ones who could mingle with royalty. And there was a part of him that wanted to see Lelouch as fiercely independent as he was before, the spoiled prince that would never think of asking help from anyone until there was no other choice.

Suzaku swallowed, glancing up at Marianne before walking over to stand in front of her desk. He didn't take a seat, too aware of the differences in their rank. Marianne seemed to be aware of them too, because she didn't offer him a seat. He closed his hand around the pin in his pocket at that, trying to keep himself calm. They wouldn't get in trouble, not because they had found Lelouch. Besides, he knew Marianne. He had spent most of his childhood around her and been saved by her after he had been rescued from the former members of the Japanese government. Marianne could be harsh, but it was never without reason.

He gave Marianne an abbreviated bow from the waist, suddenly aware of how loose the neck of his shirt was. This morning it hadn't bothered him but, then again, Lelouch had spent most of the morning paying attention to the tattoo. The fact that Lelouch had been confirmed as the prince and accepted into the family in combination with that had been more than enough for Suzaku to feel relaxed enough that he hadn't put too much thought into covering up the tattoo. Now he regretted it.

Suzaku stood up as quickly as he was allowed, adjusting the collar of his shirt and waiting for Marianne to speak. He had made one blunder already with the tattoo, not that Marianne disliked him for it. Marianne just hated the group who had all but destroyed the royal family and had taken away her son. Suzaku couldn't blame her for hating anything that reminded her of that group. He smoothed his hand over his neck one more time before letting it drop to his side, nearly jumping when Marianne cleared her throat.

"Have you heard the news?" When Suzaku remained silent, Marianne went on. "The group was recently found and investigations are being made into them. But all the leading members, all of them that encouraged the attack on the Aries Villa that night, are dead."

Suzaku relaxed fully at that, breathing out a sigh of relief. While he had known that they wouldn't come after him again, he was too well protected and no longer as useful to them as before, he had always been afraid that someone would reveal what had happened the night of the massacre. Genbu Kururugi had been, to the rest of the world, a great friend to Britannia and the one most well known for working towards a free Japan. Now only Suzaku knew that he had been the one trying to free Japan through the destruction of the Britannian empire and that Genbu Kururugi hadn't given up his life to protect the royal family, his own son had killed him.

He tightened his fingers around the pin for a moment before shaking his head. "I'm…I'm glad to hear that. It's safe for everyone again."

"I wouldn't call it safe." Marianne paused a moment, a smile crossing her face. "But it is a relief to know that only the lesser members of that group are still alive. Perhaps it will be enough to encourage the royal family to gather together again. I was afraid that Cornelia would be married in only the presence of the emperor, her mother and myself."

"I don't think that Schneizel would have let that insult stand."

"Maybe he wouldn't, but he has his own problems."

Suzaku refrained from speaking. Despite being a part of the royal family, albeit because of his friendship with Nunnally and position alone, he didn't have the firm grasp of the politics inside of it as the others. He was sure that Kallen was able to follow the numerous rumors and scandals without a problem, but Suzaku always felt like he was just plowing through and always missing something important. Suzaku was even less sure of the full measure of the family's various entanglements in Pendragon. He would always get snatches from the guards, but nothing that he could piece together himself.

Marianne seemed to come back to herself, sitting up and lifting her elbows from the desk. "But, those are Schneizel's problems and he has them well in hand. The more important matter is you and the thanks I owe you."

Suzaku blushed. "T-that's not necessary."

"But it is. From the various accounts I've been told by the others, you were the one that was sure that this was the right Lelouch. And you were right. That is hardly something that I can ignore." Marianne gave him a soft smile. "I called Kallen and Gino in to talk about the reward money. Of course, there are other acceptable rewards that can be given."

Suzaku felt his heart beat faster, trying not to let his excitement show. He would have refused the reward money in any case. He didn't have any living relatives that he knew of and he was living perfectly well on the salary he already received. He was already fed and housed by Marianne so the money he received went towards the few things he needed, like clothes when his wore out and presents for Nunnally on her birthday and Christmas. Even with the reward divided into three parts, Suzaku was sure that the money would have been too much for him to spend in his lifetime. But since Marianne had offered an alternative, he felt that there was hope.

He had never rehearsed his speech to her, despite his surety that he would find Lelouch and bring him back. Suzaku had just hoped that the subject would come up so that he wouldn't have to stumble through his plea. He tapped the top of the pin with his finger before pulling it out of his pocket, trying not to react to the gasp that Marianne gave.

The pins were a symbol of a personal knight to royalty and were only given during the ceremony of knighting. How Lelouch had managed to slip the pin away Suzaku had never known. But, judging by the Marianne's reaction, Suzaku felt a bit uneasy. It was very possible that the pin had been from Marianne's knighting ceremony when she had become the personal knight to Charles zi Britannia.

He quickly placed it on the desk, having to struggle to keep himself from reaching for it again. Suzaku stuffed his hands in his pockets, clenching them into fists so he could stop himself from touching the pin.

To his surprise, Marianne didn't demand to know where he had gotten it. Instead, she reached up towards her left shoulder, to where the knights wore their pins, jerking her hand away a moment later. She glanced at Suzaku before turning around and standing up. He watched her walk to one of the shelves in the room, carefully taking down two boxes. One she set reverently on the desk, stroking a hand over the top of the box before setting down the other. This one she opened, revealing a pin exactly like the one that Suzaku had carried for ten years carefully stuck in red velvet.

Marianne made no move to pick up the pin that was still on the desk, instead sitting down and resting her hand on the box that was still closed. "I had always wondered where it went. I didn't notice it that night or for a long while after that. It wasn't until we had lived here for a year that I realized that the pin was missing." Marianne sighed, gesturing at the open box. "I had them made for Lelouch and Nunnally when they were presented to Charles as heirs to the throne. I had hoped that I would be able to present them to my children so that they could choose their knights when the time had come."

Suzaku pulled one of his hands out of his pocket to gesture at the pin, sticking the hand back in when the movement was done. "Lelouch gave me that."

"I suspected as much when I found it missing. Although I don't know why and I may never know."

It would have been easy to tell Marianne about the promise he had made to Lelouch that night, but Suzaku found that he didn't want to speak about it. That was something between Lelouch and himself, something that he hoped that Lelouch would remember when Suzaku showed him the pin. Then everything would go back to the way it was supposed to be.

He cleared his throat, staring at the pin instead of Marianne. "I don't want the reward money. If I took it, then I would feel obligated to pay it back to you for everything that you have done for me."

"And I would just refuse."

Suzaku nodded, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to look up at Marianne. "But I do want to accept the other offer of a reward." When Marianne gestured for him to continue, Suzaku spoke quickly, wanting to get the words out before he could think about them for too long. "I want a chance to be Prince Lelouch's personal knight."

Marianne froze at that, Suzaku licking his lips before continuing. "I don't mean immediately or within the month, but I want the chance to become his knight. Before there had been talk about me becoming his knight and Lelouch had always wanted me to then. All I ask is a chance to win back that place and I ask your permission to carry out that chance."

Silence stretched between them as soon as Suzaku shut his mouth, unwilling to go on in case he said too much. He was sure that, while Marianne would approve of his and Lelouch's budding relationship, she would have preferred them to wait a bit longer. There was always the chance that she could accuse Suzaku of persuading Lelouch to agree with him, something that Suzaku didn't want.

He jumped as Marianne closed the second box, staring at the plain black lid for a moment before looking up at her. Marianne closed her eyes for a moment before staring at him, staring at his neck.

"No."

Suzaku was sure that he made some noise of protest, because Marianne held up her hand for silence. Out of habit, Suzaku snapped to attention.

Marianne pressed her hands against the top of the desk, looking like she was about to push away from it, but remaining put. Suzaku understood the significance of the move. She was speaking to him as Lady Marianne, as the former empress of Britannia. She was his superior now, what she told him would be an order that could never be disobeyed. He hung his head to avoid her gaze, listening as Marianne shifted in her chair.

"Suzaku, perhaps it would be best if you were offered another position."

He glanced up at that, quickly lowering his gaze again when he realized what she was staring at. Marianne was looking directly at the tattoo on his neck. Suzaku felt his stomach twist. He had thought that he had managed to prove his loyalty enough to Marianne. Out of everyone close to him, Marianne was the one who knew the most about what had happened to him when he had been kept by the former members of the Japanese government. He had made sure to tell her everything that the men had demanded of him and stress that he had revealed nothing. Suzaku had never betrayed the royal family, even when it would have let him escape.

He swallowed and forced himself to nod, the motion enough to encourage Marianne to go on. "You are wasted as a guard, Suzaku, especially with the way you have handled yourself over these past few years. I have let you refuse promotions for too long. A position with the guard forming around Dalton would be just the place for you."

Suzaku shook his head, still a bit stunned by the offer. Anyone else would jump at the chance to join the guard contingent that would be following Princess Cornelia around, but Suzaku was sure that he would just end up pushed to the side. While Dalton was pleasant enough towards him, Guilford tended to be quieter around him and Suzaku knew what Cornelia thought of the Japanese. Although she had mellowed in the past years, she hated the Japanese people for destroying her family. To join with her, even if he had been one of the ones who had brought Lelouch back, would just make his life miserable.

"My lady, I can't accept the position."

"Then I'm sure that there is a less stressful position." Marianne paused for a moment, Suzaku looking up hopefully. "Didn't Euphy ask you to be her personal knight once?"

Suzaku couldn't do anything but nod. She had asked and he had turned her down, partially because he was still shocked over his failure to keep her safe during the riot and partially because he wouldn't have been able to search for Lelouch. Becoming Euphemia's personal knight would have put a stop to any searches that he wished to do, unless Euphemia had come along with him as well. Even as a knight he had no business dragging around a princess as he chased after hints about Lelouch. But now there was no reason to refuse, except for his desire to be Lelouch's knight.

Marianne seemed satisfied with his wordless answer, Suzaku watching her as she nodded to herself, stacking the two boxes on top of each other again. "Well that would be the perfect position for you then. You deserve a knighthood for your service to Britannia, Suzaku. Euphy is just involved enough in politics that you won't get bored, but she rarely ventures where things could get too dangerous."

Suzaku was nodding before Marianne had finished. There was no other choice to be made. If he refused the offer of a knighthood now it wouldn't look good. Marianne was fair, but Suzaku was sure that she wouldn't bend on this matter. If Suzaku remained as a guard he would see little of Lelouch or Marianne would make sure that he and Lelouch were kept apart. And all because he had too stupid to follow them that night. If he had never spent those months with that group Marianne would trust him more, she wouldn't have to worry that Suzaku had accidentally let something slip about the royal family.

Of course, if Suzaku stayed, there was a chance that he could earn her trust. Suzaku was sure that she trusted him with Nunnally. There had been times where he had been Nunnally's only guard before Rolo had been taken in. So there was hope there, but only if Suzaku cut all ties with Lelouch for the moment. It was a better alternative then agreeing to be Euphemia's knight and only seeing Lelouch when Euphemia visited Nunnally and Marianne.

He took a deep breath, glancing at the pin on the desk. Either way it meant that he would be expected to spend the night with the guards in the barracks. Suzaku wasn't sure if Marianne had heard of the relationship between him and Lelouch, but he was sure that all of his chances of being trusted again would be ruined if Marianne found him with Lelouch before he had her express permission to be there again. Suzaku reached out, taking the pin from the desk. "May I have a day to think about it?"

"Of course. Come to me when you have made your decision." Marianne held out her hand, obviously waiting for him to give her the pin.

By all rights it didn't belong to him, it had never belonged to him. But now that he knew that he would either have to become Euphemia's knight or spend his entire life working to gain enough trust to become Lelouch's knight, he didn't want to give the pin up. It gave him the hope, something that he had little enough of. Suzaku cradled the pin in his hand, staring at it instead of Marianne. "I promised Lelouch that I would give this back to him when we found each other again."

There was a soft noise of understanding before Marianne dismissed him, Suzaku making sure that he gave her the full bow her station required. He turned and strode from the room, not even glancing at Jeremiah as he passed. He was sure that Jeremiah would find him later and offer some kind of reassurance, even if it was heavily laced with racism. At least Jeremiah would try.

Suzaku stepped out into the hallway, glancing down at the pin in his hand before shoving it in his pocket and walking quickly into Lelouch's room. He kept his mind carefully blank and his expression bland. He didn't want to start deliberating over the choice before him in public, not where others could corner him and demand to know what was wrong. The last thing that anyone needed was a confrontation. It would be horrible to spoil the good mood that the household was in because Lelouch was back.

He slipped into Lelouch's room, not bothering to turn on the light. The room was completely clean, just the small pile of stuff in a corner to show that someone lived here. Suzaku was sure that it wouldn't take long before the room looked inhabited again. He crossed the room and set the pin on the nightstand, turning abruptly and nearly running from the room. If he had stayed longer he would have been tempted to take the pin with him.

Suzaku kept up his fast walk until he had reached the barracks, the journey to the guards' housing a blur in his memory. To his relief, there was hardly anyone around. Those in the house were probably busy either getting preparing for the absence of Marianne and Nunnally when they went to Cornelia's wedding or they were searching for things for Lelouch. The guards, from what Kallen had told him, were probably all nursing hangovers or put on duty around the perimeters of the castle.

He shook his head as he walked into his small room, sitting heavily on the bed. Marianne wouldn't have allowed Lelouch out in the open if she thought that he wasn't safe. She would probably keep him close over the next few months just to make sure that he wouldn't disappear on her again. It was probably on that same principle that she was pushing Suzaku away. Any other time she would have trusted him, but now he was just a reminder of that night and of the people that were so willing to kill her family. Suzaku supposed that he should have been grateful that she didn't order him to leave immediately.

But wasn't offering him the job of Euphemia's personal knight a subtler way for her to order him to leave? If nothing else, Marianne was a soldier before a lady; she would view things through a soldier's eyes. If she had offered the job to Suzaku, it meant that she thought that it was the best fit for him. It was only because she was Lelouch's mother that she wasn't offering him the job for Lelouch.

If he was completely honest with himself, Marianne would probably _never_ offer him the position of personal knight to Lelouch; she would consider it too risky. The two of them together would probably be the biggest magnet for trouble whether the group was fighting for the release of an Area or for Britannian dominance again, and that was not even considering the stir that would come out of the announcement that Lelouch was alive. Anything further than that and Suzaku couldn't even begin to grasp the political implications of such a choice. But, in the end, they didn't matter. What mattered was that Marianne obviously didn't feel comfortable enough to have him around Lelouch.

If that was the case, perhaps it would be better to just be Euphemia's knight. She would want to spend time with Lelouch but, eventually, she would go her own way. And, while it would be painful, Suzaku wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life waiting for another impossible miracle to happen. He would rather take the coward's route out than to suffer in silence.

He let himself fall backwards, staring at the ceiling. If that was his choice, then he was going to have to speak to Lelouch before he left, the relationship between them wouldn't work out. Euphemia was not going to remain where Lelouch was forever, and he needed to be by her side. And maybe Kallen and the others were right; he was just in love with Lelouch because he was obsessed with him. It had been stupid of him to ignore that conclusion before.

Suzaku looked up at a soft knock on his door, turning his head to the side as Gino shuffled into the room.

The blond grinned at him, letting the door shut slightly as he leaned against the wall. "There you are. I was wondering why you abandoned us to look after the royalty all on our own."

"Really?"

"No. That was Kallen." Gino laughed, tipping his head to the side. "But I don't see a reason why you shouldn't be out there."

Suzaku went to stand up, stopping himself quickly. He couldn't, not when he knew what choice he had to make. It was better to distance himself from Lelouch now, when he was knighted would be too rough a break for him. As much as he wanted to relish the days that he had left with Lelouch, it wouldn't be worth the heartbreak to keep them. He leaned back, offering Gino a smile. "I think you two can handle them on your own."

For a moment, Gino looked like he was going to reply with his own quip, but then he frowned. Suzaku twisted to look over his shoulder, wondering if something in his small room had gotten out of place or he had left something lying around from before they had gone to Japan. Aside from the suitcase he had dropped off before carting Lelouch's things to his new room, there was nothing but the blank wall. Suzaku turned back, subtly trying to reinforce his smile in an attempt to reassure Gino that everything was alright.

Contrary to his expectations, the smile just made Gino frown more. Suzaku swallowed, tempted to look back over his shoulder again. "What?"

"I never knew you could smile like that."

"I always smile like this."

"And that's the problem." Gino huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "And now you're in here instead of outside watching over Lelouch. What reward did you take?"

"Not the money." Suzaku answered immediately, shrugging when Gino continued to stare at him. "I asked for an alternate reward and was given the honor of becoming Princess Euphemia's personal knight."

"But that's not-Oh." Gino stood up straight that that, Suzaku fighting the urge to clamp his hand around his neck to make sure that the tattoo was hidden.

He cleared his throat, looking up at Gino only to find that the blond had left. Suzaku scrambled to his feet, rushing to the door and pulling it open. He had to make Gino understand that this was for the best. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was obviously what was best for him. He was already too dependant on Lelouch just to feel normal. If Lelouch died or was hurt while Suzaku was in charge of his protection, then Suzaku was sure that he would lose what tentative hold on sanity he had.

Suzaku pushed himself away from the door, trudging back to his bed and flopping down on that. Gino had to understand that Suzaku couldn't just do what he wanted, he didn't have the power to force his way into positions or to use to bail himself out when things went badly. It was far better to accept a position that he didn't want and be sure that he wouldn't be thrust into the political spotlight and be able to do his job properly than to go after what he really wanted and mess up. He had already failed Lelouch once before by being too cowardly and too stupid to escape with the rest of them, Suzaku was sure that he wouldn't be able to survive another mistake like that.

He reached up to push his bangs out of his eyes, staring at the ceiling. Even if Gino didn't understand he was sure that Kallen would at least approve of his decision, albeit a bit grudgingly. Kallen had never wanted him with Lelouch in the first place, and she had been right. Suzaku sighed and closed his eyes. Tomorrow he would request an audience with Marianne and accept the position. After that he would try his best to break things off with Lelouch. It was the only thing he could do.

* * *

><p>Gino had only been completely furious once in his life, when his father had beaten the maid<p>

He had only been fourteen at the time and the maid was only a year older than him, but she had been from a lower class and from the former Area 11. His father was been one of the nobles who had outwardly agreed with Emperor Schneizel about the liberation of the Areas for the sake of Britannian safety but had privately continued to treat people from the Areas as lesser beings.

Gino hadn't cared about the division in society and he still didn't. All he had known was that the maid was nice to him and that she had a nice smile. And he had been fourteen and in love.

It had taken months for Gino to convince the maid that he could protect her and they had only just started their relationship when Gino's parents had found out. Gino hadn't known that they had learned anything, not until the news came to him that the girl had been thrown out onto the streets. The news of the beating Gino had heard from the servant's gossip and he had immediately confronted his father when he had heard of it. While he understood now and had a basic grasp of then, was that he was different from the others, that he had to be willing to sell himself to the highest bidder in an attempt to keep their family wealthy and in a position to jockey for power with the emperor if there was ever a chance to. If he was lucky or could make a good argument for his cause, then he might be able to marry for love. But beating the girl and then throwing her out had been unacceptable.

He had still be furious the next day when he had made up his mind to join the military and he had intended to work his way up through the ranks. But his mother had interfered and sent him to Lady Marianne, supposedly because she was the best to learn from although Gino had known that his mother was just trying to keep him safe and in a place where they could get to him if they had needed to. By then his own anger had worn out and he had accepted the placement.

Gino was aware that this made him no better than the other nobles in Britannia, but he liked to think that he was trying to make a difference. Instead of letting rank alone carry him he worked hard. He had earned the respect of the knights that served the princesses and princes that visited Marianne and Nunnally and had even managed to befriend the entire guard barracks. He had never knowingly asserted his rank to get him into the positions that he wanted; Gino had never experienced rejection until he had come to Marianne. He hoped that all of this would balance out the facts that he couldn't change; that he was a bit of a spoiled first born and that he came from one of the wealthiest noble families in Britannia. He hoped that now he could safely say that his actions spoke for themselves.

And now he was ready to ruin that record because he had had enough. He was ready to pull rank just to get Suzaku the position that he deserved.

Gino stormed into the garden, catching a glimpse of Kallen out of the corner of his eye. He was sure that she tried to wave him over, but he just shook his head. He would speak to her later once all of this was settled. For now, his full attention was on Marianne.

He remembered to bow when he approached her, his early etiquette lessons taking over. Being polite was probably better than angering Marianne before he could present his case. Gino swallowed, standing up and making an effort to calm himself down. He needed to be rational here, to be sure that he would hurt Suzaku by doing this. He could injure his own position all he wanted to, he would be able to survive whatever came out of this.

He cleared his throat, looking up from his bow. "Can I speak with you?"

"Of course." Marianne walked a few steps further away from where the others were standing, even going as far as to wave Jeremiah away from them. Gino glanced at the older night, feeling himself relax. If Marianne was sending Jeremiah away it meant that she was going to be speaking to him without any emphasis on her station. "Now, what would you like to speak with me about?"

Gino rose from his bow, carefully brushing off the knees of his pants as he considered his words. More than anything he wanted to just shout and accuse Marianne, but that would just draw unwanted attention. He had to be carefully here, something that he wasn't too good at in conversation. Gino found it easier to apologize and ask forgiveness than ask permission.

He took a deep breath. "It's about Suzaku."

"Matters were settled with him. We've come to an agreement."

"An agreement that you knew he would accept either way." Gino gritted his teeth and forced himself not to shout. "You know that he'll agree to be Princess Euphemia's knight because he's going to spend the day thinking things over and second guessing himself."

"And do you think it's better to just allow him to remain a guard?" Marianne raised an eyebrow. "I've watched him turn down every promotion that was offered to him just because he was looking for Lelouch. I've let him continue to sell himself short. I know Suzaku would make a wonderful knight, he's had been training to become one before he ever came into my care. That was the original agreement. I could either let him waste away in the guard or make the choice for him. I've watch him continue to make the same choice for years now, it was time something was decided."

"Then you could have made him Lelouch's knight. That's all that he wants. And that was the original arrangement."

Marianne shifted, one hand twisting the fabric of her dress. "Things change, Gino."

"I can probably say that Suzaku hasn't."

"That may be true. But this isn't a matter of doubting his qualities." Marianne met his gaze. "It's a matter of doubting him."

"Suzaku has been nothing but loyal-"

"Then why does he still keep that tattoo?"

Gino was brought up short by the question, snapping his mouth shut. He stared at Marianne, his silence seeming to be the only answer that she needed.

"If he truly hated it then he would have gotten it removed by now. He's had the chance and I've hinted at it more than once. Instead he hides it and acts nervous whenever he thinks that someone is looking at it. I know he's been through a lot but that's not the behavior of someone who hates something, it's the behavior of someone keeping a secret." Marianne sighed and shook her head. "I won't go as far to say that he completely believes what those men did, but some part of him might believe it and that part won't let him remove that tattoo. And, until I get proof that he doesn't consider that group's ideas anymore I won't let him into a position close to Lelouch. I lost my son once already; I don't want to have to lose him again."

Gino shook his head, trying to process what Marianne had said. To his surprise, she didn't give him the time to, glancing at him before looking away towards where the others were. "Will that be all, Gino?"

"Yes." He dropped his gaze to the ground as she went past, holding himself in place.

He wouldn't change her mind now, he couldn't. Part of the problem was a basic misunderstanding and part of the problem was that Marianne was reacting as any mother would. Gino may have been able to fix the misunderstanding, but he would never be able to stop the maternal reaction. And he found that he couldn't blame her for it. By all the reports that he had heard, Marianne had been broken once her son had been officially declared dead. She probably considered it a miracle that he was back.

But that didn't stop her from being completely wrong about Suzaku. Even though she had known him longer than Gino had, she was still horribly wrong.

Suzaku kept the tattoo as a reminder of something. Gino didn't know quite what it was, Suzaku had never told him or Kallen, but he did know that it was something bad, something that always made Suzaku freeze up whenever he came close to mentioning it. So the tattoo reminded Suzaku of what he had done and, in a manner that was only logical in Suzaku's mind, encouraged him to make up for what he had done.

Gino had never fully grasped how Suzaku mind worked, but the solution felt right. Suzaku was one of those people who would suffer forever just for the chance to make up for one wrong thing that they had done. He probably thought that the torture at the hands of his father's former allies and the years spent searching for Lelouch were the punishment, so it was only fitting that finally being able to let go of all of that and just exist was a fitting reward. But now Suzaku would never get that because he had been nudged into thinking over all of his actions and coming to the conclusions that his superiors wanted him to.

Gino turned to look back at Kallen, shrugging in response to the confused look that she gave him. She had been the one to send him after Suzaku. She had been the one to notice that he hadn't rushed out to make sure that Lelouch hadn't disappeared while he was speaking to Marianne. And Gino was sure that Kallen wouldn't take the situation as well once it was explained to her, she would probably immediately jump to the idea that it was Marianne looking down on Suzaku for his nationality or class. In that case, it would probably be best to have Kallen speak to Suzaku herself.

He sighed and trudged back over to Kallen, automatically scanning for danger. Kallen scooted closer to him, elbowing his side instead of asking a question like he thought she would. Gino stared down at her for a second before retaliating by poking her side.

Kallen made a face, taking a step away from him. As they settled into their positions she still didn't ask about Suzaku, instead just tipping her head in the direction of the barracks. Gino frowned and shook his head in response, getting a worried look from Kallen. She would probably investigate later and Gino would have to stand by for damage control, it was the only thing he could think of doing. And, in the end, he was sure that Marianne would not break. She was just reacting out of fear and he couldn't blame her for that, but it was going to be hard to see Suzaku go.

* * *

><p>Sneaking into the castle had been easier than expected. After everything that the tour guides had said, it had sounded like making his way past the guards would have been a difficult thing. Instead, it was one of the easiest jobs Mao had done in his life.<p>

It had been easy to walk from the small village that surrounded the castle to the residence itself. There had been a few guards out, but they weren't paying attention. A few of them even seemed groggy, a sure indicator of some celebration that they were recovering from, whether from a hangover or from a lack of sleep. It had been easy to just stick to the shadows and slip by them when they looked away. From there he had moved to the first side entrance to the castle.

There he had encountered his first real problem. The blond knight he had seen in Japan was there speaking to a guard. Mao narrowed his eyes, testing the weight of the knife in his hand. He would have one chance to get through this point or abandon his mission for the night. The latter was not an option; he had kept C.C. waiting for too long.

Mao sucked in a quick breath and threw the knife, running out of the shadows and throwing his full weight at the blond knight. The blond went down quickly, Mao not wasting time on a struggle. The man was his height but twice his size. He quickly smacked the blond's head against the ground, biting his lip to keep from laughing at the sound that the collision made.

When he was sure that the knight was down, Mao stood up, walking over to the dead guard and pulling his knife out. A quick check of the surrounding area showed that no one had heard the scuffle, which left him free to pick the lock on the side door and slip inside.

Once inside he paused to orient himself. He was on the ground floor, with the rooms where the royals slept right above him. Mao tipped his head up with a frown. He wasn't too sure which room his target was sleeping in. He had looked over the basic plans for the castle and guessed depending on the size of the room who was in it. The largest room was probably for Marianne and, going from there, the next one would be for Nunnally. The other rooms at the other end of the hall were probably for guests.

Mao shrugged and turned to slip into the servant's staircase. It was late enough that most of the royals would be in their rooms and not inclined to come out. It would only be a matter of quick observation. But he was sure enough in his guesses that he would find Princess Nunnally on the first try. If he didn't have to wander far from the servant's stair then he would have that much more time to set up for when the rescue came.

He paused at the top of the staircase to glance down both sides of the hall before stepping out into the open. If he was right, then Marianne's room was to his left, leaving one room on his right before the hallway ended. That would be Nunnally's room, close to her mother and close enough to an exit that she could escape easily. Mao adjusted his hold on his bag, wiping his knife on his shirt before adjusting his grip on it. He would have to be ready for any other guards that would come at him.

Sure of himself, Mao sauntered out into the hall. He came to a stop in front of Nunnally's door, leaning over to check to see if it was unlocked before swinging the door open, much to the surprise of the occupant if the gasp from inside the room was anything to go by.

Mao didn't take the time to make sure, dropping his bag as he saw someone running at him. For a moment, he thought that it was the boy that he had been tracking from Japan, but he amended his thought a second later. This boy was a bit too short and moved like a guard, not like the boy from before. Unfortunately for this guard, Mao knew how to handle himself.

He kicked the door shut, stepping to one side as the guard rushed past. Mao grabbed the guard's arm and twisted it back, smiling when he heard a snap. He then released the guard and stepped back, kicking the guard in the knee for good measure.

Sure that his opposition was down for the moment, Mao skipped over to Nunnally, who was still sitting in her chair with a look of shock on her face. He grinned down at her, his expression faltering when he saw that Nunnally was reaching towards the drawers of her desk with her left hand. He huffed, reaching for her hand and slamming it against the desk, strolling around behind Nunnally to open the drawer with his free hand.

Mao laughed at the gun that he saw in the drawer, shaking his head. "That's no way to treat a visitor, your highness."

"And that," Nunnally jerked her head towards where her guard was slowly picking himself up from the ground, "is no way to treat a guard of the royal family nor request an audience with me."

"I'm afraid I'm short on time. Now," Mao let go of Nunnally's hand and pulled her away from the desk, retrieving his knife and pressing it against Nunnally's throat, "I would stay over there if I were you, unfortunate things may happen if you come closer."

The guard stared at the two of them before sinking to his knees again. Mao grinned, carefully letting go of Nunnally. "As for you, princess, stay here unless you want your guard killed. And no screaming, then I'll have to kill both of you, and it would be such a waste."

His bag was just two steps away from Nunnally and, to his delight, both the princess and the guard complied. Mao scooped up the bag, dropping it on the desk and opening it. He pulled out the rope and the scrap of cloth he had brought, moving quickly to pull Nunnally's arms behind her and tie her wrists together. That both of them were complying was good, but he wasn't sure how long that it would last. By the look of her guard, it wouldn't be long. The guard looked like the type to do something foolhardy, brave and fatal to save something that he held dear.

Once her wrists were secure, Mao made a loop in his next length of rope, looping that around Nunnally's neck for now. Then he pushed the gag into her mouth, securing it behind her head. Then he stepped back to look at his work. It wasn't the best that he had ever done and, frankly, he was ashamed of how it looked overall. But there was nothing that could be done, not when he still had to move his hostage.

Mao sighed and glanced back at the guard, a smile crossing his face. There was a way to make things more elegant, more in his style. And he could spare the time to do it.

He leaned over Nunnally's desk, careful not to shove things off of it in his search for a pen and paper. Once the items were found he scribbled a quick message, spelling out his demands. Then, he knelt on the ground and used his knife to cut off a strip of Nunnally's skirt. This he cut in half as he advanced on the guard. The first strip went around the guard's mouth, effectively silencing him. Then Mao dragged the guard over to Nunnally's desk, tying him to one of the legs. Sure that the guard would be held, Mao bent over and cut the uniform from the guard's back, clearing off one shoulder before settling down to do his work.

He had never done this before; in fact he was often encouraged not to do it. The Geass Order had said that they wanted to be kept secret, that it was in their best interests. But, if they were a secret, how was C.C. to know that he was doing what she had asked of him? He had always made sure that his jobs were arranged beautifully so as to be as tasteful as possible, just in case C.C. saw them. Even with that, he had always wanted to leave some sort of calling card, some sort of sign to show to C.C. that it wasn't some copy cat but him who was fulfilling her desires. Now, with the Geass Order gone, he had his chance.

Mao grinned down at the guard, pressing a finger against his lips. "Quiet now." Then he began to carve the symbol of the Geass Order into the guard's back.

To his credit, the guard did not scream. He twisted and there was some muffled whimpering, but there was no screaming. So the guard did remember the threat to kill Nunnally if he spoke. Mao chuckled, finishing off the outline of the bird-shape with a flourish. He patted the guard's clean shoulder before standing up and looking at Nunnally.

Finally he was rewarded with what he had been looking for. Before Nunnally had just allowed herself to be tied up but Mao had had no doubts that she was probably planning some kind of escape, with or without her guard. Now, she was just in shock. Mao had showed himself willing to do anything, and she wasn't even thinking of escape anymore, she was thinking about the poor boy that was tied to her desk. Maybe Mao had hit on an unexpected use for the guard, especially if he affected Nunnally this way. In any case, he didn't have the time to think about it.

He straightened up the desk, making sure that the note was in plain view, and swung his bag over his shoulder. He wiped the knife on his shirt again before picking up the end of the rope that dangled around Nunnally's neck. Mao made sure to give her a smile before tugging gently on the rope. "Now, you'll follow me without a sound and listen to everything I say. In return, I won't come back and kill him. Deal?"

There was a pause before Nunnally nodded her head. Mao gave her a mock bow before tugging on the rope and leading her from the room, but he was a gentleman enough to allow her to pause and look back at her guard before pulling her towards the servant's staircase.

Nunnally was complaisant, keeping up with him and keeping quiet as he led her down the stairs and onto the ground floor. Mao immediately took her out of the side door, having to drag her away when she saw the two bodies on the ground. Mao turned to kick the blond knight for good measure, adding a glare at Nunnally so she understood. Until she was secure anyone that they saw was in danger. Mao wasn't sure that she got the message, but he hurried her along anyway.

The path to the gardens and the small chapel there was in shadow and unguarded. Mao guessed that Marianne had only put effort into guarding the perimeters of the castle, because it was logical that the guards would sound the alert if someone had gotten in. Mao shivered at that thought, tugging on the rope again. He had left bodies out in the open because he had no other option. While the guards were still slow and groggy they weren't stupid. When they found the two bodies they would start searching the grounds. Mao wanted to be in place and ready to negotiate when that happened.

They traveled in silence, Mao attempting to get Nunnally to move faster. She wasn't fighting him overtly but she was shuffling along, probably trying to buy time for the guards. And, now that they were no longer near people, Mao couldn't threaten to hurt anyone, all he could do was pull on the rope around her neck and try to get her to move faster. He gritted his teeth to keep from attempting to threaten her, he had nothing but words and Mao didn't think that Nunnally vi Britannia would be cowed by words. Instead he directed his next pull up, smiling when he heard Nunnally grunt at the rope tightened around her neck. Now she had the choice to either strangle herself or keep up and, predictably, she kept up with him.

Mao navigated his way carefully through the maze, a bit disappointed at its simplicity. Then again, he supposed that the point wasn't to get lost but to get to the small chapel in the center. It would work in his favor since the boy wouldn't get lost along the way. Still, he couldn't help but to be a little disappointed. Then again he had managed to leave the signature of the Geass Order on the guard, Mao was still happy about that.

He tugged Nunnally into a jog, rushing through the maze to the small chapel. He paused for a moment to stare at the stone chapel, automatically checking for guards or for any useful escape routes. He only allowed himself a quick look, aware of how Nunnally was pulling on the rope in his hands, just short tugs but with a steady pattern, like she was trying to pull the rope from his hands. Mao smiled and tightened his grip, marching to the door of the chapel and swinging it open.

He dragged Nunnally down the aisle, barely paying attention to the well kept pews to either side, instead focusing on the alter at the end of the aisle. That would be the best place to wait for the boy since the door was the obvious way into the chapel. Mao was certain that there were various side entrances and other ways to get into the chapel, but the dais with the alter on it backed up against a wall and commanded the best view of the room. Mao twisted to look over his shoulder, a bit disappointed that there was no balcony. If there had been, he could have hidden away up there and had used the time to unnerve the boy before approaching them. Mao shrugged, hauling Nunnally up to the base of the alter before pushing her to the ground.

She went down without a sound of protest, Mao kneeling beside her. He pulled the loop of rope from around her neck, reaching down with his other hand to grab at her ankles.

Mao had to jerk away as Nunnally kicked out, staring at her in surprised before smiling. "Ah, so you won't go without some protest. I respect you for that. Unfortunately," he lunged at her, grabbing her ankles with one hand while he pressed himself down against her legs, "this is not the time."

Nunnally screamed, the sound muffled by the gag in her mouth, and twisted. Mao grunted as she managed to get a knee into his stomach, scrambling to keep himself on her legs so she couldn't kick him again. But it was hard when Nunnally was twisting under him, occasionally contorting herself in an attempt to strike at him with her bound hands or make an attempt to use her shoulder. Mao gritted his teeth and looped the rope around her ankles and pulled the loop tight.

When he was sure that it was secure he jumped away, watching as Nunnally writhed for a moment more before coming to a complete stop. The princess glanced at him once before shaking her head, looking like she had calmed down immediately. Nunnally even attempted to set her hair to rights with short jerks of her head before giving up and staring back at him.

It was her calm that he would have to be careful of. He knew how to handle people who screamed, begged and fought with no real purpose. Those he had to just wait out and they would eventually go quiet, either because they had run out of energy or because they were crying too much to continue. Nunnally was completely in control of herself and probably looking for ways to get out of her situation by the way she was looking around the chapel. Mao frowned and looked at the rope in his hands. She probably thought that now was the time to make her move because he didn't have any hostages, which obviously put him at a disadvantage.

Mao huffed and quickly secured the end of the rope to one of the heavy candle stands, tossing his bag behind the alter. He would remove the final things he needed from the bag once he was sure that Nunnally was going to remain still, he didn't want to risk the plan now, especially since it involved more waiting. He rolled his eyes and hopped up onto the alter, kicking his legs as he watched Nunnally. "Now we wait, princess."

She frowned, Mao laughing as Nunnally shifted herself until she was sitting up. "Don't give me that look. You cooperated so no one else will be hurt. Three casualties are better than all of the staff dead and all three of them aren't even dead. Your guard will be fine."

She gave him a look of disapproval before turning to look at the door. Mao smiled to himself, humming under his breath as he tried to make himself comfortable on the stone alter. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling and peering at the stained glass window behind the alter to try to figure out what the picture was in the dark he looked at the door as well. He considered that it was the best thing to do for the time being; after all he had to have some kind of entertainment while he waited for the boy. For now he would ignore the way that Nunnally was carefully searching for escape routes or attempting to free her arms and legs. Her reaction would be so much better if he waited until she was nearly free and then adjusted his knots. Mao tried not to giggle, not wanting to ruin the song he was humming. It had been C.C's favorite.


	12. Chapter 11: Terror Comes

**Chapter Eleven: Terror Comes**

Lelouch rubbed a hand over is face as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, feeling exhausted but happy. He had spent the whole day with his sisters and, while they still didn't feel like sisters, they no longer felt like complete strangers either. Lelouch supposed that had to do with the way that both Nunnally and Euphemia had spent the whole day telling him stories of their childhood, probably trying to get some sort of reaction out of him. Despite their disappointment, he had remembered a few pointless things, like the way the three of them had always snuck out into the garden to watch the stars, or the many times he had struggled to put Nunnally to bed when she had no intention of falling asleep.

He smiled to himself, glancing over his shoulder at the stairs. It wasn't quite family yet, but he was sure that everything would eventually fall into place. It had worked with Suzaku, there was no reason that it shouldn't work with his sisters.

Lelouch frowned at the thought of Suzaku, walking down the hall to his room and opening the door. The last time he had seen the guard was early that morning, and it was completely dark now. Suzaku had been standing on the balcony while Lelouch had joined his sisters in the garden, keeping away because he had an appointment with Marianne. Lelouch hadn't been worried until Marianne had showed up in the garden with her knight. He had assumed that Kallen and Gino had been met with separately when they had come out and Suzaku had disappeared, but having Marianne with them meant the audiences were over. And then there had been that one incident with Gino.

He had watched the knight storm into the garden and have a conversation with his mother. It was obvious from the way that Gino acted that he had lost the argument. Gino had stayed away from Marianne for the rest of the afternoon and had even absented himself from dinner, leaving Kallen, Dalton and Jeremiah alone with them. The last Lelouch had seen of them was a quick glimpse of the knight through a door as he and Kallen had spoken about something. Before he had gotten close enough to hear anything, Euphemia had grabbed him and dragged him off to the sitting room. All he had seen was Kallen turning to leave and Gino grabbing her arm.

As the evening had worn on and Suzaku hadn't appeared Lelouch had considered going looking for him, but his family had made it impossible to leave. He could have just summoned Kallen to his side and ordered her to look for Suzaku, but Lelouch was sure that she wouldn't have listened to him, prince or not. Knights were not meant to deliver messages. That left him little choice but to wait until everyone else went to sleep and then look for him. Lelouch was sure that Suzaku was still close to the castle or Kallen and Gino would have acted differently.

Lelouch trudged into his room, not caring that the door had not completely shut behind him. He just wanted something familiar to him to be able to relax, he still felt too strung out. Out of habit, he reached for the locket, jerking his hand back when he remembered that it was no longer around his neck. He had given it to Nunnally after the interview that had confirmed that he was the lost prince. Nunnally had wanted him to keep it, but it had felt right to give it back to her. It had never been his in the first place.

He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the ground. Without the locket, he was left with Suzaku, but Suzaku wasn't here. That left him with Gino and Kallen, both of whom were too busy with their own problems to be approached. There was also a part of him that didn't quite want to call on them, the same part of him that didn't like that he was relying on other people to comfort himself. As a prince of Britannia he wouldn't be able to rely on anyone else, at least not in public, so it was good practice in having to handle himself and being overwhelmed.

Lelouch looked up at a knock on his door, surprised when Marianne peered into the room. She spotted him sitting on the bed and walked into the room, Lelouch catching sight of Jeremiah moving into position outside of the door. He closed his eyes the next moment when Marianne flicked on the lights in the room. "Lelouch?"

"It's nothing. I'm just tired."

"Well, it is rather late." Marianne gave him an uncertain smile, her own nervousness making Lelouch feel better. He didn't know what he was doing and neither did Marianne, which meant that neither of them could make too much of a mess because their expectations were low.

He sighed and stood up attempting a smile that didn't look as exhausted as he was. "I'll be fine M-mother." He almost stumbled over the word, catching himself before he could call her Marianne. "Besides, I have a few weeks before we go to Pendragon."

Marianne stared at him. "You would come with us?"

"Cornelia is my half-sister and I see no reason that I should stay behind." He had gotten his wish; he had a place in the world and a handful of memories to go with it. Now he didn't want to be stuck in one place and hidden forever.

Lelouch could see how uneasy his presence made Marianne and Nunnally. It wasn't the fact that he had very little memory of them or that he was alive, it was the fact that he existed and now they were desperate not to lose him again. Lelouch could understand why Marianne had not announced him publicly and why she wanted to keep him at the castle for as long as she could, but he would draw the line at being cooped up here forever. If that was the case then maybe it would have been better to get a mind numbing job, because it would equate to the same thing. Now that he had something to his name he wanted more.

"I don't see why it would be a problem." Marianne was quick to recover, Lelouch feeling the corner of his mouth twitch up in a smile. "It's just that Pendragon is so different than here and there's all the political implications to think of."

"I'll handle it." Lelouch wasn't quite sure that he could make good on his claim, but he had a feeling he would be able to stomach it. It would just be a matter of watching and following the example of his mother and Nunnally for the first few days while he gathered his own impressions. Then he would begin to make statements on his own, skirting away from the topic of the emperor. From what he had heard of Emperor Schneizel when compared to Emperor Charles, Lelouch was sure that he would support the former over the latter, even if Schneizel had annoyed him as a child.

In any case, Lelouch was sure that he was so far down the line of succession that he wouldn't matter other than his relationship with the emperor, and he was more than willing to act in that capacity.

Marianne still seemed unsure but nodded anyway, Lelouch relaxing at that. He preferred to work with her permission than against her will, it would keep his relationship with his mother smooth until he remembered exactly what she meant to him. There was adoration and love already vaguely there, but that was probably because she was his mother, there was nothing strange about loving his mother. Lelouch wanted to be sure that there was nothing between them, nothing that would cause him trouble before he started to begin to rebel. Or at least he hoped that it would work as a plan.

"If you're sure then." Marianne turned to leave, pausing to look back at him. "We'll probably have to take you shopping then. I suppose that might be better kept a secret, especially after what happened the last time Nunnally and Euphemia went shopping."

"What happened?"

"Cornelia now has more clothes than she knows what to do with. Between the two of us we figured about half of what some of it would be used for." Marianne chuckled, glancing down at her simple orange dress and gesturing at herself. "Cornelia and I are soldiers, frills are threatening."

Lelouch laughed, about to bid his mother goodnight when Marianne stopped again, one of her hands resting on the door. "Did Suzaku ever give you that pin?"

He froze, staring at his mother. She must have known Suzaku hadn't talked to him since that morning, so she was assuming that he had met up with the guard sometime between when they had finally come in and dinner. Lelouch swallowed and shook his head. "I haven't seen him."

But Marianne was no longer paying attention; she was staring at something on the bedside table. Lelouch turned to look, his eyes widening as he stared at the small object on the table.

It was small, something that could fit easily in the palm of his hand and shaped vaguely like a lowercase i. It was mostly blue, save for the four white wings that stuck out from the top of the i and the gold that ran along the sides. In the dot at the top was a little gold crown, the only symbol on the pin.

Lelouch reached out and picked the pin up, cradling it in the palm of his hand. He recognized it. Jeremiah wore a similar pin all the time with the rest of his uniform, but that wasn't the important thing. The important thing was why Suzaku would have a pin like this and why he would have given it to Lelouch. He looked up at his mother, unable to keep from looking at the pin for long. He frowned as he stared at it, trying to work out the problem.

"I see that he did." He heard Marianne walk towards him, Lelouch automatically curling his fingers around the pin and pulling it close to him. Marianne took a step back at that. "Lelouch?"

The pin was worn in places, the paint a little less shiny and the corners blunted, like something had been handling it a lot. But, it had been taken good care of. Lelouch couldn't feel any cracks or places where it could have been broken and put back together. Suzaku had cared for this thing and had probably kept it close at all times. So why would Suzaku just leave it like this?

Lelouch felt panicked. Suzaku wouldn't leave something this precious to him if nothing was wrong, but Suzaku hadn't been around all day. And Suzaku had said that he felt like he wanted to die sometimes. What if he had decided that he wanted to die and hadn't stopped himself this time? Lelouch shivered, tightening his grip on the pin briefly before releasing it. He was jumping to conclusions, but at least it was a conclusion. There had to be other ones, more logical ones that didn't lead to that eventuality.

He swallowed and looked up at his mother, not quite sure how he should phrase his question. He licked his lips, uncurling his fingers from around the pin. "Why?"

Marianne stared at him for a moment before sighing. "He wanted to give it back to you, there was some promise that you two had made."

"So…he was my knight?"

"Suzaku was too young to be a knight, you never had one appointed."

Lelouch frowned. That didn't sound right. "But he…"

"Suzaku was being trained for that eventuality, yes."

So Suzaku had been already picked out to be his knight, that part felt right. Suzaku had never gotten to be his knight because of the massacre, which also felt right. But then Suzaku having the pin didn't make sense. The pin was given upon the appointment of the knighthood, a symbol of their position even when they weren't in full uniform. Lelouch had never seen Dalton wearing his, but it was probably on his person and Lelouch had never seen Jeremiah without his. So then why would Suzaku have it? He hadn't been old enough nor had it been official and yet Suzaku still had the pin.

Lelouch shut his eyes, trying desperately to think of something, anything that would make this make sense. After a few minutes of drawing a blank, he opened his eyes and looked at his mother. She wanted the pin back, that was obvious enough. It was probably tradition to keep them locked away somewhere until the knight was appointed. Suzaku had never been a knight, so the pin had never been his. Lelouch sighed, glancing down at the pin. He still didn't want to give it up because it meant something.

"_Come on."_

"_My father…"_

"_They won't hurt him."_

"_You can't be sure of that. My father works for the emperor, they might try to kill him as well."_

_Panic. They needed to get out of here. The screams were too close. "It won't do you any good to stay behind!"_

"_Lelouch, he's all I've got."_

_It was the truth, but it hurt. There had to be something to get Suzaku to come with them, but he couldn't think of anything. His mother and sister were already too far away and those screams…_

_But there was the pin that he had grabbed. A pin and a different promise. The promise could be altered by never broken, not this promise._

_The steady, almost guilty, weight was transferred from his pocket into the palm of Suzaku's hand and secured there by Suzaku's own fingers. Then a quick glance at Suzaku's face, watching the confusion and shock._

"_Lelouch, I can't…I'm not a knight."_

"_I know you're not, but just listen. This is a promise to me, alright?"_

"_What kind of promise?"_

"_I want this pin back and I want you to be the one to give it to me. I won't accept it otherwise." He couldn't stay longer; he had to catch up to his family. Nothing could change Suzaku's mind at this point, but at least he could offer encouragement. Encouragement was better than grabbing onto Suzaku and begging. He was too proud to beg, to proud to plead and cry. Instead he would use Suzaku's pride against him. "You have to promise that you'll make it out of here alive so you can give that back to me."_

"_I promise."_

Lelouch jerked his hand back as he felt Marianne's fingers brush against his palm, not resisting as she lifted the pin from his hand. He stared at her before looking back at the pin. "He should have given it to me directly. That's what I meant."

Marianne paused, resting a hand on his shoulder briefly. "I don't know why he didn't, although he had a lot on his mind after we talked."

"You talked about the reward." Lelouch didn't phrase it as a question because there was no other reason that Marianne would talk to the three people who had brought him to England. That at least narrowed down the reason that Suzaku hadn't come back. But, if he hadn't reappeared then he was thinking hard about something. Lelouch looked up at his mother. "He didn't take the money."

"No and I didn't expect him to."

Lelouch hadn't either. After the death of his father Suzaku would have no one waiting for him in Japan and his life as a guard would support him on his own well enough. He waited expectantly for the answer to his question, not surprised that Marianne started walking away from him.

"He asked for an alternate reward, I gave him the choice between becoming one of the guards under Dalton or Euphemia's personal knight."

Lelouch barely heard the sound that he made, only realizing that he had made any sound because Marianne turned to look at him. He was too busy going over what his mother had just told him. She was essentially sending Suzaku away, either way he would be far away from them. But that wasn't right, Suzaku was supposed to be _his_ knight. Marianne herself said that they had groomed him to become Lelouch's knight. Why she had changed her mind was beyond him. But he did know that it wasn't right and he wouldn't be letting it go. It was the entire reason he had stolen the pin from his mother's study the night of the massacre, he had heard people talking about how difficult it was maintaining a royal presence in Japan. He had wanted Suzaku to promise that, no matter what, he wouldn't change his mind about being Lelouch's knight and staying friends with him. Up until then, the only people he could call friends he had been his family and the sons of the Britannian noblemen that Lelouch could never bring himself to trust completely.

He clenched his hands into fists, quickly gathering himself together as he turned to face his mother. "I don't think you have the right to make that choice. It is custom to allow the royal in question to choose their knight."

"And it is a privilege of the royal family to either accept or reject the choice." Marianne's voice softened, but she didn't relax. "Euphemia had already asked him, but he put it off until he found you. He fulfilled his promise, Lelouch. Allow him to live his own life now."

Lelouch bit back his first response, to shout no and demand that she give him the pin back. It was a childish response anyway and not one to sway Marianne. He took a deep breath to calm himself before stepping forward. "He told me that he still wanted to be my knight and I want to keep him close because…" Lelouch scrambled for the right word. It was too soon to say that he loved Suzaku; there were still too many gaps in his memory and too few days where they had just spent time together. He was sure that there was lust, but he preferred not to admit that, especially not to his mother. But there was one thing he was sure about. Lelouch straightened his shoulders. "Suzaku is my friend and I want to keep him as close as possible. I lost everyone I cared about before I don't intend to let it happen again."

Marianne had no response; she just stared at him and shook her head. The motion made Lelouch narrow his eyes. "And what objection do you have, Mother? Do you have one _rational_ objection for why he shouldn't be given the place he was promised but go with Euphemia instead?"

His mother tensed under the verbal assault, Lelouch partially expecting her to lash out at him. Now she looked more like the soldier that he had read and heard about and less like the mother he had seen all day. He shifted nervously but stood his ground. He was well within his rights to demand an answer, especially on this subject. Marianne might want to keep him out of the public eye for a little while longer, something that he completely agreed with, but she had no right to keep him in the dark like this.

The idea that she would even try frightened him. If he had to drag the answer out of her like this it probably meant that she wouldn't have told him unless it had come up in conversation and there was no way around it. She would have probably kept the news from him as long as possible, and there was a danger of that becoming a habit. Maybe she just wanted to protect him from the world because he had disappeared once and maybe his eight year old self would have allowed that. But he had grown up without Marianne and he had changed. Now not being allowed to even know what was going on was dangerous, not only would it keep him out of the loop on most political matters but it would also deny him the chance at remembering something.

Lelouch sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He understood that his mother was scared for his safety, but there was no reason for her to do this. And, if she was taking so long to come up with an answer that she knew would satisfy him it meant that there was no real reason. If she wanted to keep him safe so badly then she would allow him to choose a knight _before_ he was announced to the public so he was well protected.

He resisted the urge to shout at Marianne, to demand an answer from her. There were too many people in this wing and he didn't want to cause a scene, not over something like this, especially since Euphemia was involved. It wouldn't be fair to make her choose between his side and Marianne's especially since Lelouch had the sneaking suspicion that he would win, just because of his prior claim.

Lelouch looked up at Marianne again. "Mother, I trust him. That should be enough for you."

Marianne looked like she was going to speak again, Lelouch ready to start arranging a counter argument. But he never got the chance to hear what Marianne was going to say, both of them jumping as the door was pushed open, a panicked Jeremiah leaning into the room. "My lady, it's Princess Nunnally. She's-"

Jeremiah didn't get to finish his sentence. Marianne had been walking towards the door when he had begun speaking and she shoved him aside to get out into the hallway. Lelouch followed a step behind, surprised when his mother hiked up her skirts and sprinted to Nunnally's room. Lelouch followed after her, glancing over his shoulder when he didn't hear Jeremiah running after them. He slowed down long enough to see Jeremiah rushing over to where Dalton was standing outside of Cornelia's door, probably relaying the news to him, which would mean that Cornelia and Euphemia would find out what had happened soon enough.

Lelouch turned around and ran down the hallway towards Nunnally's room, only managing to get halfway down the hall before Marianne screamed.

"Nunnally!"

He jumped at the scream, bracing himself against the nearest wall before finishing his sprint. If the others hadn't known before, they knew now. Half of the servants probably knew now too. He swallowed nervously only slowing down in front of Nunnally's door.

For an instant, he wanted to turn around and walk away. It would be easier to take the coward's way out. But Nunnally was his sister. He didn't remember much about her, just little inconsequential things, but even those were something. Lelouch clenched his hands into fists and walked into the room, immediately stumbling backwards until he could press his back up against the nearest wall.

Nunnally's guard was on the floor, tied up to the desk and bleeding. Lelouch swallowed, barely glancing at his mother as he crossed the room. He heard the sound of others running up towards the room, but those were just faint background noises. They weren't important, especially not when compared to the mark that was carved into Rolo's skin. He was intimately familiar with the mark, having spent hours staring at it.

He shivered and looked away, meeting his mother's gaze. Marianne was glaring at him, like she was daring him to say that he trusted Suzaku now. Lelouch didn't bother to retort, he just leaned over to look at the guard.

There were strips of fabric on the floor, one close to the guard's head and one still looped around his wrist. Lelouch glanced at the desk before standing up, jumping at the sound of the door banging against the wall. He turned his head, moving closer to the desk as Cornelia stalked into the room.

"What happened here? Where's Nunnally?"

"She's been taken." Marianne's voice cracked over the last word, Lelouch glancing at her. Marianne was staring at the floor, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. "Some madman from that group that tried to kill us all came and took her."

The guard on the floor shifted. "It…it was my fault."

"No it wasn't, Rolo. You did your best." Marianne crumpled up the note in her hand before dropping it to the floor, looking every inch the soldier now. "Cornelia, I'm going to need your help. They couldn't have gotten far. I'll leave you in charge of searching through the fields and woods. Jeremiah, I want you to lead the guards to search through the house. Guilford, do not leave Cornelia's side. Dalton, don't leave Euphemia."

The men saluted and stepped into their positions, Jeremiah ducking out into the hall and beginning to bark orders at the gawkers outside. Marianne didn't even seem to register the commotion. "Euphemia you will remain inside. Everyone will report to you and you will be in charge of making sure we stay in contact. Any injuries will also be in your care. Hopefully you can begin to start putting together what happened while we search for Nunnally." Marianne paused for a moment. "And make sure Lelouch stays with you. I've lost one child and I have no intention of losing another."

Lelouch looked up at his mother and shivered. If this was her reaction to losing a child, he didn't know how he hadn't been found within days of being brought to the orphanage. Or maybe it had just been the distance. Marianne had complete control here; the person who had taken Nunnally couldn't have had more than an hour or two of a head start. And, with the whole countryside soon to be warned, they wouldn't be getting anywhere. Lelouch glanced at the crumpled piece of paper on the ground, tempted to reach for it. If they had left a note, it meant that they wanted a ransom for Nunnally and weren't just going to kill the princess. Although, if they had belonged to the group who had murdered their family ten years ago, he couldn't be sure.

He knelt down to grab the paper, freezing when his mother called his name. He looked up at her, slowly pulling his hand back. Marianne had it under control; he was useless in this situation. Lelouch sighed, about to stand up when Kallen came running into the room.

She nearly ran into Guilford, stumbling away at the last minute and catching herself on Nunnally's dresser, sucking in deep breaths. Kallen glanced at Lelouch before turning to face Marianne. "I found them…by the side entrance. The guard is dead."

"Then he must have climbed up the servant's stairs."

There were nods, all of the knights agreeing with his mother, but Lelouch found that he couldn't stop running Kallen's words through his hand. He frowned, snatching up the paper and standing up. "You said them, Kallen."

"Gino…"

She didn't even have to finish her sentence; Euphemia was already out the door and speaking to the servants. Lelouch saw Kallen relax, wanting to offer her a smile but his attention was caught between the injured guard on the floor and the note that he held crumpled in his hand. He had been too distracted by the guard to notice his mother's expression when she had read the note, but he was sure that what was in it had been enough to push Marianne into action. Lelouch closed his fingers more tightly around it, moving his arm slightly behind him so the note wouldn't be seen.

Thankfully everyone was too busy with orders from the knights and Marianne to pay attention to him. The only time that they looked back at him was when Marianne ordered Kallen to stay and guard him. Then Marianne left the room, Lelouch hearing her giving out orders as they went down the hall. He shook his head and leaned back against the desk, carefully smoothing out the note in his hands, trying to ignore the way that Kallen kept glancing at the door. Finally, he gave up and looked at her. "He'll be fine."

"I know that," she snapped, "I'm just annoyed he was there to get hurt in the first place. We could have used him."

Lelouch glanced at her and chuckled, leaning back against the desk. He couldn't quite tell if Kallen was telling the truth or just trying to hide her worry, he didn't know her well enough to be able to determine that. But it was a fair enough answer. He would leave her to her own devices. Kallen didn't need him asking if she was alright every few minutes. Besides, he had more pressing matters to attend to.

Lelouch glanced down at the note, his eyes widening as he read it over.

'Bring the boy that the knights brought to me. If this is done, then I will release the princess. Only send the boy unless you want Princess Nunnally to be killed.'

The paper dropped, Lelouch staring down at his hands. Nunnally had been taken because of him; there was no other person that the note could be referring to. His mother was going to try and get Nunnally back, but Lelouch had the sinking feeling that whatever plan Marianne had wouldn't work. This person only wanted him and obviously had no qualms about killing another member of the royal family. The person had the gall to walk into the castle and injure a guard before kidnapping Nunnally. His mother knew all of this and was trying to get Nunnally out her way.

Lelouch frowned, shaking his head and looking up at Kallen. That would just get Nunnally killed, no matter how hard Marianne tried to prevent it. She was reacting out of the fear of losing him again, something that he didn't blame her for. But this was _Nunnally_, her safety couldn't be risked.

He knelt down on the floor, waiting for Rolo to acknowledge his presence. The guard glanced at him before closing his eyes. "I couldn't…he would have hurt Nunnally."

"I can't do anything about that now. What I can do is make sure that she gets back alive. Tell me where she is."

The blank look on Rolo's face told him enough. The guard hadn't heard anything from the person who had kidnapped Nunnally, so he was essentially useless in this situation. Essentially useless and in pain.

Lelouch sighed and stood up, gesturing for Kallen to come over. He helped her lift Rolo up, the two of them trying to avoid pulling on Rolo's injured shoulder too much. Lelouch jerked his head in the direction that Euphemia had gone. He would try and catch up with his mother later. Lelouch was sure that Kallen wouldn't stop him, not with the chance to catch the person who had injured Gino.

They stumbled out of the room, Lelouch having to stoop a bit to keep from pulling on Rolo's shoulder. He glanced over to the side as they paused for a moment, Kallen adjusting her hold on Rolo. He found himself staring at the stairs. They were usually covered slightly by a tapestry and the door at the top was left open to allow the servants to move quickly around the castle. Lelouch stared at them, missing Kallen's call to start moving again.

The person who had taken Nunnally hadn't given a clue to where she would be, so he would have gone somewhere obvious. Lelouch wasn't sure if Marianne had thought of that before she had ordered her search. She was probably doing a systematic search of the grounds, which was the better strategy if the kidnapper had fled with Nunnally. Instead, the kidnapper had only demanded Lelouch's presence, which meant that both the kidnapper and Nunnally were still on the grounds.

Lelouch jumped as Rolo's arm slid from his grasp, but he made no attempt to take it again, instead taking a step towards the stairs. "What's down here?"

"There? The first floor."

"And the door where you found Gino and the other man?"

Kallen jerked her head toward the end of the hall. "They were guarding the door that led outside."

"The closest one to this staircase." Lelouch waited for Kallen to nod before walking over to the window at the end of the hallway, staring out into the night. He couldn't see much, everything further away from the castle was obscured by the lights that had been turned on to aid the search for Nunnally. He narrowed his eyes and tried to make out the shapes in the darkness.

It made sense that the kidnapper would go out the closest exit to where he intended to hide and the hideout had to be somewhere close to the door. Lelouch sighed, resting his forehead against the glass. He couldn't see much beyond the garden and the deeper shadow that was the small chapel in the center of the maze. Beyond that Lelouch guessed that the garden ran on; he hadn't been past the entrance to the maze in the single day that he had been there. His best guess on the rest of the terrain was that the garden ran into the wall.

Lelouch pushed away from the window, giving the view one last look before making his decision. He wasn't sure if he was right, but it would mean that he was doing something instead of just standing around and being useless. After all, his presence hadn't been announced to the world yet. Prince Lelouch was still officially dead, but Nunnally was still alive. She was the one that he had to protect. If he could remember nothing else about her, he remembered that she was something that was to be protected at all costs.

He walked over to the stairs, staring down them only to be stopped by a call from Kallen. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going after Nunnally."

"No. You're supposed to stay here."

"If I don't, they'll kill her." Lelouch looked over his shoulder at Kallen. "Would you rather that happened?"

"No! But-"

"Then I'm going."

"Wait. I'm coming with you!" Kallen adjusted her grip on Rolo and walked down the hall, obviously intending to get him to Euphemia.

Lelouch waited until she was out of his line of sight before continuing down the stairs. He didn't have the time to wait. The kidnapper was a part of the same group that had killed their family; Lelouch didn't want to test their patience. There was also the danger that Marianne would find Nunnally before he did, and Lelouch wasn't sure that his mother would be able to find a way out of that situation. He swallowed, slipping from the staircase and into the hallway.

He managed to get outside without any problems, glancing back at the door to make sure that it slid shut completely before turning and running in the direction of the maze. He would start his search there and move through the gardens. The shadows and the lack of light in the garden would be the perfect place to hide. Plus there was the chapel, a sure fortress that the kidnapper could hide in and, maybe even be completely missed.

He would just have to get there before the search did in any case. Lelouch still didn't know what the kidnapper wanted him for, but he made a mental note to find out. Before he had come here, he had just been another orphan; there had been nothing special about him. But, if the kidnapper had known that he was the lost prince, which meant that he had been in more danger than he had ever believed. And, if the group had known that he was the lost prince, then would they know where some of the other royals were hiding? Or would they have already managed to work their way into the guards surrounding the other royals?

Now Lelouch understood some of his mother's fear for his safety, although he still couldn't see how she could connect Suzaku to that group. He shook his head. It was not the time to be thinking about Suzaku, Nunnally was the important thing right now.

He shivered, slowing down as he reached the entrance to the maze. Lelouch stared up at the hedges, suddenly intimidated by them. Earlier, they hadn't seemed like they were looming over his head, but that had been under the sunlight and when he hadn't been paying attention to them. He reached out to brush his fingers over the edge of a leaf, laughing to himself. It was just a maze, the same maze that he had seen that day. There was nothing different about it.

He took a deep breath and stepped into the maze.

* * *

><p>Suzaku jerked away as someone grabbed his shoulder and shook it. His first reaction was to turn and claw at the person attacking him. He managed to get one hand around the person's throat, Suzaku shifting so he would be able to bring his knee into the person's stomach and lift them off of him before he opened his eyes.<p>

He stared up at Kallen, quickly letting go of her and sitting up in bed. He ran a hand through his hair, absently trying to fix it as he wondered when he had fallen asleep. The last thing he had remembered was going over the pros and cons of becoming Euphemia's knight without really considering the list that he had made. His mind was made up anyway; he would accept the position in the morning.

Suzaku turned his attention back to Kallen, frowning when he realized that he hadn't heard her knocking. He was a light enough sleeper to be woken up by the sound. Kallen had proven that at least once before. But the door was already open, looking slightly askew like Kallen had just thrown herself against it until it had opened. That coupled with the fact that she had been the one to actually wake him up instead of Gino's usual early morning bouncing on his bed was something out of the ordinary.

He blinked rapidly, buying time until he could look at the clock, realizing that it wasn't morning yet. It was still dark, which meant that he hadn't been sleeping for long. But obviously something had happened.

Suzaku pushed Kallen back, slipping from the bed. Gino had probably told her about his decision and she had tried to talk him out of going with Euphemia. Following their normal pattern, if she couldn't convince him to change his mind, she would try to beat it out of him, although Kallen had yet to win completely. Their record was made up of invalidated matches as Gino always came to break up their fights before there was any clear winner.

He sighed and shook his head. "Kallen, it's for the best that-"

"It's not that," Kallen snapped. He took a step backward; watching as Kallen physically distanced herself from him. "Look, you may be too stupid to care about yourself but I think you care about Lelouch."

Suzaku tensed, waiting for Kallen to come up with another condemnation but she remained silent. He narrowed his eyes. "What happened?"

"Someone broke in." He saw her gaze dart up to the tattoo that was hidden under his shirt. "Someone from that group."

Suzaku reached up and placed his hand over the tattoo. It was useless to cover it up now, Kallen knew about it and the connection had already been made, but he felt a bit more secure if he knew for sure that no one would be able to see it. He looked away from Kallen, lowering his gaze to the floor.

"They took Nunnally, Suzaku, and they demanded that Lelouch go to them or they would kill her. Marianne is searching for them now, but they'll just kill Nunnally if they aren't found by Lelouch."

He looked up, his heart pounding. Marianne had been willing to look over the fact that he had been with the group for now, but she would probably trust him even less after this. Even if Suzaku had nothing to do with the kidnapping, the timing was perfect. Right when Suzaku had gotten back and been denied what he had wanted Nunnally had been taken. Suzaku would be able to deny the accusation, but he was sure that it wouldn't be enough.

Suzaku swallowed, forcing himself to focus back on the problem and not on the possible consequences. "What would they do with Lelouch?"

"It's pretty obvious that they want to kill him."

"Why?"

Kallen stared at him before shoving him. "How would I know? I was just given orders to guard Lelouch."

"And where is he now?" Suzaku leaned around Kallen, trying to see if Lelouch was standing just outside the door. Now was no the time for an explanation of what had happened and Suzaku was sure that Lelouch would allow him that, for now. It was after they had found Nunnally that would be the problem; there would be nothing to stop Lelouch from demanding to know why Suzaku had been avoiding him. The thought of having to explain himself to Lelouch frightened him just a little bit more than the idea that someone from the group was on the grounds.

Kallen grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back, Suzaku staring at her. He gave the door one last glance before meeting her gaze. "Where's Gino?"

"He's hurt." Kallen's voice cracked over the last word, Kallen shaking her head. "He was at the door that the kidnapper used. Before you ask, I don't know why he was there. He's just been avoiding Marianne all day."

"Because of me?"

Kallen didn't answer, but Suzaku knew that it was true. Gino had gotten concerned for his sake and had spoken to Marianne. Suzaku hadn't asked him to because he was fine; he had come to terms with what he would have to do. But it was because of him that Gino wasn't speaking to Marianne, which meant that it was his fault that Gino had been outside of that door when the kidnapper had come in and it was his fault that Gino had gotten hurt.

"How bad is he?"

"He'll live. But that's not the important thing. I was helping Rolo when Lelouch ran off. He's gone after Nunnally."

Suzaku stepped around her, heading for the door. He didn't register that Kallen had called for him to stop until she grabbed him, pulling him back. Lelouch was more important at the moment; there was no time for complicated planning. Suzaku had already wasted time asking pointless questions because he had been took preoccupied to realize what Kallen was really trying to say.

Suzaku tried to pull away only to have Kallen hold onto his arm more tightly. He shook his arm, finally taking a step towards her when she wouldn't relent. "Lelouch is going to get himself killed. Nunnally's safety is important but there has to be a way to get them both out alive."

"So now you care?"

"I never stopped." Suzaku reached down, prying her fingers from his arm. "Where is Lelouch?"

"I don't know." Kallen huffed, pulling away from Suzaku. "I wouldn't have come to get you if I had known."

Suzaku tried not to wince, choosing to step away from her instead. So he was a last resort instead of the first person she turned too. Apparently she wasn't over the fact that he had allowed himself to be reassigned without an argument and, surprisingly, it hurt. Suddenly he was deemed no longer important because it was assumed that he would no longer be there, that he didn't care about Lelouch at all. He forced himself to shrug, trying to be nonchalant. "Fine. Tell me where to start."

Kallen hesitated, staring at him before seeming to come to a decision. She pointed toward one wall with a long sigh. "You search the gardens. I don't know why he would have gone that way, but we might as well look."

"And where will you be?"

Kallen gestured toward where the castle was. "I have to at least make it look like we still know where Lelouch is, just so there isn't more panic. Marianne can't hear about this, or it'll be both our jobs. She's panicked enough as it is with her daughter missing."

"So keep quiet and look quickly. I can do that."

"Good." It was a quick dismissal, Kallen already walking towards the door.

Suzaku stared after her, bristling a bit at her ease in ordering him around. He was sure that she was just worried about Gino, Lelouch and Nunnally; Kallen did tend to get snappy when she was worried. But what hurt was the condescension. He _knew_ that Kallen and Gino weren't happy with him. He knew that they thought that he was just being an idiot. But he had also thought over what he had to do and leaving was the best decision. Lelouch was too important to him and messing up anything when dealing with Lelouch was not an option. Euphemia was a better option because he would be able to see that Lelouch was safe without risking the chance that he would be the one to cause Lelouch harm.

There was nothing he could do about that now. Lelouch was in trouble and, even though he tried to tell himself that Lelouch wasn't his concern anymore, Lelouch was still a royal prince and he was still a guard. It was his duty to protect all the royalty. There was no getting out of this even if he had wanted to refuse. He would have joined in the search if Kallen hadn't come to ask him, but they had decided to leave him alone for obvious reasons. It would be hard to win back the trust of the royals after this, just when he had started to feel secure in his place too.

He shook his head and stormed past her, missing the small smile that crossed Kallen's face. He was too focused on getting to the gardens as quickly as possible.

The gardens took up a large area and would be hard to search because of all the nooks and the odd shadows that were thrown by the plants themselves. Suzaku would have to be careful, because the kidnapper would probably be able to hide anywhere and Suzaku wouldn't see the person until they attacked him. Suzaku tensed at the thought, rolling his shoulders forward and glancing around nervously. There was also the chance that he would walk right by the kidnapper and Nunnally without noticing them, which would mean that the kidnapper would know that they were not following the demands and Nunnally would be killed.

Suzaku gritted his teeth, wanting to find Lelouch so he could punch him. He knew how much Nunnally mattered to Lelouch; Nunnally was like a little sister to him as well. But there was no point in just blundering after Nunnally, not with the threat hovering over her head. There had to be some kind of plan, some way to take a step back and look at the situation before charging in. Lelouch was good at that, but never when Nunnally was involved. That was what Suzaku was around for, to stop Lelouch from doing something stupid for the sake of his sister. Usually, he was there to stop Lelouch. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if this was the one time that he hadn't been there and Lelouch had been hurt, all because Suzaku had been too much of a coward to face him.

He broke into a run, sprinting for the maze. Even with Lelouch in a panic, Suzaku was sure that he would be able to catch up if not outrun him. It was stupid and probably the worst thing to do, but he had to make sure that Lelouch didn't meet with the kidnapper before they had a plan. If Suzaku could just do that, then he would consider it an accomplishment. Then he would know that he had done something worthwhile before leaving Lelouch.

Kallen was probably counting on him to keep her out of trouble as well. She was really worried about Gino. If she had sent him this way and stuck near the castle it meant that she wanted to stay close to him. Suzaku knew that he should have been happier for her, that Kallen was finally allowing herself to trust someone else, especially since Gino was from the class that Kallen openly despised. But there was still some part of him that was angry with her for trying to interfere with his life when he had never commented on hers.

He gave his head a hard shake, nearly losing his balance as he took a turn too sharply. Kallen didn't matter at the moment and neither did Gino. He knew the both of them were safe. That left two more people that he was close to in danger; those two were the ones that he should have been worried about.

Suzaku stumbled to a stop at a crossroads, catching his breath. He turned in a slow circle, straining his senses to try and pick up something. He wasn't sure that Lelouch or the kidnapper would chose to hide in the garden. There were plenty of places to hide but there were equally as many chances to get caught. There was no way out from the garden itself aside from scaling the wall on the other side of the maze.

Suzaku jumped at the sound of something creaking, turning to stare in the direction of the sound. There was no one else in the maze, there was only one entrance. He turned toward the sound, staring at the chapel. That was the only place that could have made a creaking noise. Suzaku stumbled forward a few steps before breaking into a run. There was no way that he was going to pass the chance up.

Suzaku slowed down as he approached the front of the chapel, glancing at the door. The front door was the only entrance, but the door was sure to be guarded. So he would do better to go around the building and find another way in.

He took a deep breath and moved closer to the walls of the chapel. He would be safer in the shadows and where anyone inside wouldn't be able to see him. From there he would at least be able to scout the interior of the chapel. Suzaku dropped into a partial crouch, inching towards the large stained glass window. When he got there he tentatively raised his head, moving to a place where he could see into the chapel itself.

It took him a moment to be able to make out anything inside, Suzaku shifting until he was looking through a clear triangle. He tipped his head to the side, just making out someone beside the alter and someone sitting on the alter. The latter blocked his view of the center aisle and there was no other spot that he could look through, the lack of light making it impossible to see through the colored pieces of glass.

Suzaku huffed and settled into a comfortable position. The only thing for him to do was to wait it out a bit longer. When he person on the alter moved he would get a good view and then he would be completely ready to act.

* * *

><p>Lelouch stared up at the chapel, ignoring the chill that ran down his spine. The chapel was in the direction that the kidnapper could have gone, but there was no guarantee. Lelouch only hoped that he had beaten his mother to the center. He glanced once over his shoulder before reaching for the door.<p>

It creaked when he went to open it, Lelouch wincing at the sound. In the darkness, it sounded louder than it should have. Lelouch stood still for a moment, waiting for the sound of shouts that would signal the approach of Marianne's guards. There was just silence, Lelouch sighing and stepping into the chapel. He lingered in the shadows by the door, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the gloom in the chapel. When he was sure of himself he began to walk forward.

He intended to carefully look around the chapel, but he was immediately distracted by the girl that was tied by the alter. Lelouch lurched forward, grabbing onto the back of the last row of pews, using them to hold himself up.

She was still alive and seemed to be alright. Even better, Marianne and her search party weren't anywhere near the maze and chapel. Nunnally wouldn't be in danger and he only had to negotiate with the kidnapper to make sure Nunnally would stay safe.

"Nunnally." He whispered his sister's name, some part of him disappointed when she didn't hear him. Lelouch pushed away from the pews and out into the center aisle. "Nunnally!"

She jerked, Lelouch watching as she tried to stand only to crumple to the ground. So, the kidnapper had tied her legs. That she didn't shout back was in indication that she was gagged as well. He couldn't think too far beyond that, just taking note that the kidnapper wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Nunnally, I'm so sorry!"

He jerked to a stop at the sound of clapping. Lelouch turned, staring at the man that was stepping out of the shadows by the back of the chapel. He stumbled back, nearly falling back into a pew as the man strolled up to the alter and leaned on it.

"So the boy finally shows himself. I was wondering if you had gotten my note."

Lelouch pushed himself away from the pew, continuing his walk down the aisle. He was careful to keep his gaze on the kidnapper. "I did. I'm here, now let her go."

The kidnapper looked shocked before letting out a laugh. "Oh and you just think you'll get out so easily? What guarantee will I have that she won't run and bring back up before I'm finished. No, you'll have to wait until I'm done. Now, get up here."

Lelouch frowned and kept up his steady pace. He saw no reason to hurry, especially after the man had refused his demand.

To his annoyance, the man didn't seem to be bothered at Lelouch's resistance. Instead the man just jumped up onto the alter and smiled down at him. "So, what took you so long? I would have thought someone like you would have come running. It's your job isn't it, to protect the princess? But you just left that one guard in charge of her and he was no trouble to dispose of."

Lelouch gritted his teeth, but refrained from snapping out the first thing he could think of. He stepped up onto the dais, turning the man's words over in his head. There was still some safety for him, the kidnapper just thought that he was a guard. Lelouch tried to look for a mark that would connect the man with the group that had massacred his family, quickly giving up. There was no reason to reveal he was a prince; it would probably be safer for him if he didn't. Lelouch chuckled. "Your note was lacking in details."

"I couldn't have Marianne coming after me. And I was sure you would figure it out. There was no way that you couldn't have, not after what you've done."

Lelouch froze, staring at the kidnapper. "What?"

"It should be obvious. You should know what you did." The man leaned forward. "Tell me, I want to hear it from you."

The man was obviously insane, there was no other reason that he would attempt to kidnap Nunnally just to get his attention. And, obviously, the man expected him to know something. Had he spited the man sometime in his past? They looked like they could be around the same age, but Lelouch wasn't completely sure. Lelouch settled for a blank stare.

The man huffed, sitting up and sliding close to the edge of the alter. "Don't give me that look. You know what you did. You know it. You know it."

"Let Nunnally go."

"Not until you tell me!" Lelouch took a step back as the man pulled out a gun and aimed it at him, sliding completely off the alter. "Tell me why you were so special. Tell me why you tried to steal her away from me. Tell me why you were enough to get her killed!"

Lelouch held up his hands, turning slowly until he was facing away from Nunnally. If the man fired the gun Nunnally would be safe.

He carefully raised his hands in an exaggerated sign of surrender. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do. You wouldn't be here if you weren't guilty."

Lelouch gritted his teeth, glancing behind him to look for a way out. He couldn't see anything towards the sides of the chapel. Besides, if he ran, he wouldn't be able to out run a bullet. He glanced back to Nunnally, watching as she struggled to get out of her bonds, her eyes wide. He wouldn't leave her, not when she was still in danger. Lelouch reached for his neck, automatically trying to find the locket that wasn't there any longer.

He dropped his hands, flinching when he heard the man release the safety of the gun. Lelouch took a deep breath and straightened up. "I can't tell you what I don't know. Before now I didn't know anyone and I don't think that the orphanage would have suffered a loss like that without contacting me." He paused for a moment, long enough for him to grow uncomfortable under the kidnapper's stare. "I haven't killed anyone!"

"You have." The man switched his gun to his other hand. "She was killed because she was following you. They had a whole file on you and she was the one in charge of it. So, who were you to her? Were you the next project or were they trying to replace me?"

"Replace you?"

"I did everything perfectly!" Lelouch recoiled as the man stormed forward, staring at the gun that was pointed at his head. "I did everything that she asked of me and that should have made them happy! But you came along and…what was the point of you? Why were you there?" The man lunged forward, Lelouch stumbling backward as the gun came close to his head. "Why were you so important to her?"

There was a crash and the sound of shattering glass. Lelouch abandoned his attempts to stutter out an answer to look at what had caused the sound. He barely noticed the gun moving away from him, Lelouch focused on the shadow that he saw falling through the window and tumbling behind the alter.

The man reacted faster than Lelouch did, swinging the gun back towards Lelouch and taking a step forward. "Get out from behind there or I'll shoot him."

Lelouch felt the gun press against his head, leaning as far away as he could without falling over. He glanced back at the alter, expecting the person to immediately scurry out from behind cover.

Instead the person jumped onto the alter, using its height to his advantage to leap at the man. The person and the kidnapper collided, the two of them tumbling to the ground. The gun slid somewhere off to the side, knocking harmlessly against the alter before skittering off into the darkness. Lelouch barely gave it one look before running over to Nunnally.

He skidded the last few inches to his sister on his knees, already reaching for the knots that bound her legs. He fought the urge to glance over at the kidnapper, he didn't know how long they would have until the fight was over or who would win. It was better to have Nunnally ready to run before anything happened than to have the kidnapper get his gun again and shot the two of them.

He fumbled with the knot a moment more before finally getting it undone. Lelouch reached for the knot that bound Nunnally to the candle stand, pulling her gag down with one hand. She didn't speak, just twisting so he could get at the knot more easily. Lelouch carefully pulled the knot loose, losing patience with it quickly when it couldn't be undone. He slid the loop over Nunnally's wrists, stopping when the loop didn't quite fit. To his surprise and a bit of dismay, Nunnally wiggled until her hands were free, ignoring his attempts to catch her hands and check to see if she was alright.

She pulled the gag off of her, throwing the cloth to one side before throwing her arms around him. Lelouch stared at her for a moment before smiling and holding her tightly. There were still so many things about her that he couldn't remember, the simplest things and the huge events in Nunnally's life. Thus far he only remembered a few childish games and the fact that he would do anything to keep her safe, but that was enough. At least those things he knew were true, those things felt real.

He looked up from Nunnally, his eyes widening as he saw Suzaku standing up, the man's gun in his hand. Lelouch pulled away slightly from Nunnally, still clinging to her arms. Of all the people that lived in the castle, Suzaku was the last one that he had expected to see.

Suzaku glanced over at them. "Is Nunnally alright?"

Nunnally pulled completely away from Lelouch, getting to her feet. "I'm fine, Suzaku. Thank you."

"I was just doing my duty." Suzaku's eyes narrowed for a moment, Lelouch not sure if the anger there was completely directed at the man on the floor or himself. "It would be best if the two of you left now."

Lelouch helped Nunnally to her feet, carefully escorting her around the scattered broken glass and into the center aisle of the church. Suzaku turned to cover them, the kidnapper remaining on the ground as Suzaku put his back to the center aisle.

Lelouch paused, looking between Suzaku and the man on the floor. "Will you be able to handle this?"

"I'm a soldier, Lelouch. It's my job to protect the royalty."

Lelouch tensed at the terse comment and the reminder. Suzaku didn't even look back at him, not even to check if he was fine. Lelouch understood if Suzaku was angry at him, but for Suzaku to ignore him completely was something else entirely. He felt his stomach turn at that, trying to push it away to think over later.

"Lelouch?" The man on the ground pushed himself up, grinning at him. "Like the lost prince? Is that who you are? Oh, this is my lucky day."

The man got to his feet, ignoring Suzaku's shouted orders to remain on the ground. Lelouch shivered and pushed Nunnally behind him, starting to back down the aisle. The man didn't even seem to care about the gun now, walking forward until his chest was pressed against it.

"Well, well, now I know why they wanted to keep a close eye on you. But that still means that C.C. was killed because of you and the reason isn't that important." The man laughed. "Oh, this is perfect. I'll get my revenge and carry out my orders."

"This is your last warning, back away from them or I will fire!"

The man glanced over at Suzaku, Lelouch shivering as the man stared at Suzaku's neck. The kidnapper smirked and tipped his head to the side, gently resting his fingers on the gun. "Will you Suzaku Kururugi? You'd be killing one of the members of your group."

"I don't want to have anything to do with you people!"

"Really? Well that's a disappointment, because your father had such high hopes for you."

"Your father?" Nunnally reached out to grasp Lelouch's arm, peeking out from behind him. "Suzaku's father had nothing to do with your group."

"He did. He did! Why would I lie to you? Why else would a fierce defender of Japanese independence suddenly decide to throw in his lot with the Britannian emperor? He was planting a spy." The man glanced at Suzaku and winced theatrically. "But it didn't take, did it? You actually _wanted_ to be liked by them and you worked so hard."

"I…I never knew."

"Of course you didn't, that's what made you the best spy."

"I never wanted to spy on them!"

The man laughed, pushing the gun away from his chest. "And your father knew that, which is why he decided to get rid of the problem by killing the royal family."

Lelouch felt Nunnally's grip on his arm tighten. "Suzaku…"

"I didn't know and I never would have let him." Suzaku looked desperately over his shoulder at them. "You were my friends."

"Don't doubt him. He really was a loyal friend. You were the one that stayed behind when they were escaping."

Lelouch took a step forward, but Suzaku was already staring at the man again, visibly shaking now.

The kidnapper didn't seem to care; he just leaned forward and continued. "You had been trained to be the good knight too well. You killed your father. And I bet you didn't have to think twice before you pulled the trigger, it was just instinct. Anything to protect your precious Britannian playmates."

Lelouch felt Nunnally's hand slip from his arm, not sure if it was because he was still moving forward or because Nunnally was backing away from Suzaku. He did hear her gasp but he didn't turn around to look, not when Suzaku was visibly shaking.

"Suzaku, is this true?"

"It's…I didn't…I had to protect you, Nunnally. You were my…"

And Lelouch understood, and hated himself for missing the blatantly obvious. Suzaku had talked about his childhood, how he had enjoyed staying with Lelouch and Nunnally, how his father never around. It was natural that Suzaku would feel more comfortable around the royals than his own family. It was logical that Suzaku would feel loyal to the Britannians above the Japanese who had just treated him as Genbu's son. What surprised Lelouch was that Suzaku had actually pulled the trigger.

But that made everything else make sense. Suzaku had kept the tattoo as a reminder of what he had done, a constant punishment for himself that he couldn't escape. Suzaku had thrown himself into searching for Lelouch in an attempt to make up for his father's betrayal and his own failure. Suzaku had killed his father and lost his best friend that night, he had lost just as much as the other members of the Britannian royal family but had never been able to talk about it. So he had thrown himself into searching for Lelouch, because there was some kind of redemption in that, in taking back what he had lost and regaining his position. It would make up for the betrayal and the failure. Suzaku had risked everything on the slim hope that Lelouch would be alive and had staked his redemption on that.

It was painfully like Suzaku to think like that and, if the situation was any different, Lelouch would have laughed.

It was highly unlikely that Suzaku would have been punished for killing his father; he probably would have been applauded for it. But, in the end, Suzaku would just see it as a life taken in anger. Suzaku would probably hate himself for pulling the trigger for the rest of his life, but Lelouch was more focused on the fact that Suzaku had shot anyway, just because he and Nunnally were in danger.

He stepped up behind Suzaku, keeping an eye on the man as he wrapped one arm around Suzaku's waist. He felt Suzaku start, soothing him with a quick brush of his fingers over Suzaku's arm before he rested his palm over Suzaku's hand. All he needed to do was curl his fingers and he would be holding the gun, but that would be his last resort in the situation.

Lelouch tipped his head to the side, meeting the kidnapper's gaze even as he spoke to Suzaku. "I forgive you."

"Lelouch…"

"He was a traitor."

"He was my father."

"He would have killed us." Lelouch cleared his throat. "Thank you."

Lelouch couldn't see Suzaku's expression, but he felt his friend tense. He couldn't really think of anything else to say, not when the kidnapper was staring at them. He was sure that the man had other weapons and other ways to kill them all, but he wouldn't let that happen. And he wouldn't let this man break Suzaku down any more.

"Shoot and I'll take the blame." He saw Suzaku turn his head, Lelouch smiling back at him. "That is an order from your prince, Suzaku. Fire."

Suzaku paused only long enough to adjust his aim before he pulled the trigger, Lelouch watching as the kidnapper toppled over, a look of surprise on his face. He chuckled to himself, pulling away from Suzaku to look at the man that was splayed out on the floor. "You said it yourself; he doesn't hesitate when defending the nobility."

Lelouch turned away, reaching behind to grab at Suzaku's arm. "Don't you disappear again."

He expected Suzaku to protest, not to just slump and allow himself to be led back to where Nunnally was. Lelouch had thought that Suzaku would have to be coerced, especially with the way he had been shaking earlier. Instead Suzaku was tractable and obeying orders without question. He was probably still reeling from the shock and just relying on habit. Lelouch hesitated before settling for a comforting pat on Suzaku's arm, not sure what Suzaku would do to him if he had been more forward.

Sure that Suzaku would stay close, Lelouch turned to look at Nunnally, holding out his hand for her. She immediately took it and gave it a squeeze, pressing herself against him. "You alright?"

"Yes. You?"

"A bit shaken." Nunnally shivered and tightened her hold on his hand. "But I'm fine. Will Rolo be alright?"

"I'm sure that he will be." Lelouch glanced over at Nunnally, surprised to see that Nunnally was looking back at Suzaku. Lelouch turned to look at Suzaku as well, realizing that she was also asking about Suzaku as well. He stared at Suzaku for a moment before shrugging.

Nunnally sighed and rested her head on Lelouch's shoulder. "Let's go home. It's been a long night."

Lelouch nodded and squeezed her hand in reply. He guided Nunnally down the aisle. For a moment, he was tempted to send Suzaku to find Marianne, just to ease his mother's worry, but he didn't want Suzaku to wander too far away from them, not after the kidnapper had shaken him so much.

He got a better grip on Nunnally, reaching back for Suzaku only to have the guard step away from him. Lelouch pulled his hand back, curling his fingers close to his palm. Part of him wanted to shout at Suzaku for keeping away and blame him for the mess. If Suzaku had been around then Nunnally could have been freed faster and then the kidnapper wouldn't have been able to let that information slip out. But shouting at Suzaku wouldn't help anything, so it was up to him to make the forgiving gesture. And this time he wouldn't allow himself to be pushed away by whatever his mother had to say.

Lelouch had only just regained his family and he had nearly lost both Suzaku and Nunnally in one night. He wasn't going to let it happen again.


	13. Chapter 12: Time is Going Fast

**Chapter Twelve: Time is Going Fast**

Marianne was waiting in the parlor when Lelouch, Nunnally and Suzaku got back to the castle. Lelouch let Nunnally go, watching his mother and sister embrace. He only looked away from them when he heard Suzaku leaving.

He lunged for the guard, grabbing his arm. "Don't." Suzaku rocked to a stop but didn't say anything. Lelouch gritted his teeth, pulling Suzaku close. "Go visit Gino or something, but don't disappear again. I'll need your answer soon."

Suzaku's eyes widened and it looked like Suzaku wanted to run, but he just nodded. Lelouch sighed and let go of him, turning to face his mother and sister. This time when he heard Suzaku walk away he didn't stop the guard.

Marianne did look up at the sound of Suzaku leaving, Lelouch noticing that she watched Suzaku carefully. He remembered her insistence to get Suzaku away from them, just because of his tattoo. Lelouch tried not to show his disgust on his face. He just walked forward when Marianne let go of Nunnally. Lelouch caught the end of a whispered conversation as he edged up beside Nunnally.

"And then Suzaku came. The kidnapper is dead now, Suzaku shot him."

"Are you sure?"

"Send a group out to the chapel if you want." Lelouch crossed his arm over his chest. "I gave him the order to in the end, if you need proof of his loyalty."

"Lelouch!"

He jumped as Nunnally shouted, turning to look at his sister. Lelouch swallowed, trying to come up with an explanation. He never got a chance, Marianne tapping Nunnally on the shoulder.

"I have something to discuss with your brother. I'll talk to you later."

Nunnally glanced at Lelouch, raising an eyebrow. Lelouch was sure that Nunnally would be talking to the both of them later. Lelouch nodded, stepping aside to let Nunnally pass him. She brushed her fingers over his arm, Lelouch turning his head to watch her leave, waiting until she was out of the room before he turned to look at his mother. "You can't refuse him now."

Marianne stared at him in shock for a moment, Lelouch waiting for his mother to remember what they had been talking about before they had discovered that Nunnally had been kidnapped. He nodded when her eyes widened, watching as Marianne looked at the doors that led into the room. When she was sure that they were alone she spoke. "You said you asked him to kill that man."

"I gave an order, but he would have fired without it."

"Then why-"

"Why did I give the order?" Lelouch rolled his eyes. "Because I didn't want to lay the blame on someone else. He was following an order from royalty, he's been trained to do that much." He looked down at the ground, considering his words carefully. "How much do you know about that massacre?"

"That your father's brother orchestrated it and that the members of Genbu's council supported it."

Lelouch narrowed his eyes. "I'd have people look into that because I got information that proves Suzaku's loyalty."

"And you will keep this information from me?"

That was what Lelouch had intended at first. He wanted to be in control of the situation, but he didn't have a lot of time. The wedding was two weeks from now, which meant that they were leaving in sometime next week. He didn't have the time to draw this out and he was partially afraid that Marianne would be able to beat him because Marianne had the leverage that he didn't.

After all, she had survived this long without him.

"No. Because this is important." Lelouch took a deep breath. "Genbu was in on the plan. If you look back you will probably find that Genbu was for any resistance movement that would free Japan. He was part of that group, part of the plan."

"And you get this from…"

"The kidnapper in a moment when he had no reason to lie. What better way to throw off a man holding a gun to his head to tell the truth?"

Marianne had been a solider, she would know about this sort of thing. There was nothing more devastating than a truth that someone thought no one knew. Lelouch tipped his head, waiting for Marianne to comment.

When she didn't answer for a while, Lelouch decided to push further. "If you ask Suzaku and Nunnally, they'll verify it. Neither of them would lie about something like this."

Marianne frowned. "I will."

Lelouch nodded, content with that much. All he had to do was to push a little further. "Suzaku deserves a reward of his own choosing. He stayed behind to defend us." Lelouch snapped his mouth shut, choosing not to tell Marianne about Suzaku killing his father at the last minute. That was Suzaku's alone at the moment. "Whatever you decided, I can promise you two things."

"Is this an ultimatum?"

"Something like that." Lelouch smirked. "One, I will not stop pushing for this. Suzaku deserves to be a knight and I want him as mine. Euphemia may have asked him while I was gone, but that pin was me asking him first. Respect that claim."

Marianne was glaring at him, Lelouch deciding to push just a little further. "Two, I will give you a forewarning now, there might be something between Suzaku and I and I don't intend to let it go before I know how it will play out. There won't be a scandal because we'll keep it quiet, but that means that I'll be following Euphemia around until that point."

He supposed that he should have felt guilty for what he was doing, but then had to be one thing that he didn't back down on. For now, this would be his. Lelouch shook his head, taking a step back. He would leave Marianne with this and wait for her reply. In the meantime he would plan out his next attack.

Lelouch turned to leave, surprised when Marianne cleared her throat. He tipped his head so he could see his mother, refusing to face her again.

"Here's my ultimatum, Lelouch. Until I am sure of his loyalty I will not grant you your request. Anything else I am alright with. But I am not going to allow anything to happen to you again."

Lelouch's first thought was to turn to shout at her, but he was sure that they would end up at the same stalemate they were at now. Instead he just shrugged. "Then we'll be having this conversation often."

He walked out of the room, expecting Marianne to call him back at any moment, and it hurt when she didn't. Lelouch sighed and stared towards his room.

Lelouch honestly wanted Marianne to like him for the way he was now, because he couldn't remember the eight year old him. But he didn't know how to act around her. He could remember some sort of fond feeling but there was nothing that connected it to Marianne, not memories of her. Whenever he was around her he felt adrift, stuck between treating her like someone close to him or something that he didn't know. The latter could be manipulated and treated as he liked but the former had to be treated with respect and care. Lelouch had managed to place everyone else, but Marianne hadn't been put into either category. And, until he was able to put memory with feeling with name, Lelouch wouldn't be treating her any differently from everyone else.

He leaned against the door to his room, staring into the darkness. Marianne would probably talk with Nunnally and Suzaku tonight; his mother wouldn't be able to let that hint go without tracking it down, which meant that he wouldn't see Suzaku tonight. He only hoped that Kallen wouldn't let Suzaku be alone for too long. It seemed like one of those days that Suzaku would think about suicide.

A hand touched his shoulder, Lelouch jumping at the contact. He turned to look over his shoulder, relaxing as he saw that it was Nunnally. He offered his sister a smile, stepping aside to allow his sister to walk into the room first.

Nunnally reached out to turn on the lights. She crossed the room and claimed a spot on the bed. Nunnally patted the spot next to her with a smile. Lelouch hesitated for a moment before going to sit down beside her.

She looked at him for a long moment before shaking her head. "You were always so stubborn as a child. It always annoyed Schneizel and Clovis. Maybe it would be better if you backed down."

"She's questioning Suzaku's loyalty." Lelouch glanced up at Nunnally. "She doesn't trust him with me."

"Oh, so that's why she won't back down." Nunnally sighed. "And I wouldn't encourage you to. But I can tell you that mother won't back down either, you got that from her. But things will get bad around here. I'll warn Cornelia and Euphemia." She went to get up, sinking back onto the bed a moment later. "But have you asked Suzaku about this?"

"He admitted to it before, at least until today." Lelouch stared at the floor.

"I'll do what I can, Lelouch."

"This is my battle to fight, Nunnally. But thank you for your offer."

"Alright." Nunnally got up. "Just don't hurt Suzaku while you do this. Although, you must have been told this already."

She waved at him, Lelouch giving her a small wave back before going back to staring at the floor.

This would cause problems for everyone, but Lelouch was sure that he would be able to push through before his time was up.

* * *

><p>Suzaku didn't look up as Kallen sat down beside him, just holding out his hand for the drink that she brought. He heard her snort before the cup was pressed against his hand. Suzaku curled his fingers around the cup, not taking his eyes from Gino.<p>

"Anything?"

"He woke up for a moment and the doctors should be here soon."

Kallen nodded, Suzaku looking up to catch the tail end of the motion. She bit her lip and raised her cup to take a drink. Kallen paused, the cup still pressed against her lips. "He's got a thick head. Trust me, I know. He'll be alright."

"I don't doubt it."

Kallen smiled, lowering her cup. "He'll be fine. It's Rolo we have to worry about."

Suzaku glanced at the bed next to Gino to see the young guard. He couldn't tell if Rolo was awake or asleep, but he supposed that it didn't matter at the moment. Suzaku raised an eyebrow before shrugging. "He'll pull through as well."

"Yes, but maybe it would help if you showed your tattoo off a bit. He'll feel better about himself."

"Since when did you care about stuff like that?"

Suzaku flinched as Kallen hit his shoulder. "I'm trying to keep the peace here. Besides, you should know how he feels, having a reminder of something that you hate permanently on you."

He glanced at Kallen before shrugging and adjusting his collar so the edges of the tattoo could be seen. For now he would play along with Kallen, just to keep her from worrying about Gino too much. It was far better to be slightly distracted than to be lost completely.

Suzaku looked down at his drink when she glanced his way. Suzaku took a deep breath and closed his eyes, not sure what Kallen's reaction would be. "You sent me in the direction of the maze on purpose. I thought that you had just wanted to stay close to Gino. But you knew that he would be there."

"Well, it was in the direction that he thought the kidnapper would go in." Suzaku stared at her in shock, Kallen glaring at him. "Listen, I'm as sick as Marianne is with you and your self-pity. I don't need another reward; I've gotten everything that I want. You deserve something and saving one of Marianne's children would get her to stop doubting you. It's the quickest way to get what you wanted."

"But …I have my knighthood, with Euphe-"

"But you don't want it." Kallen shook her head. "No matter how many times you tell me this, I don't believe it. You like and respect Euphemia, but Lelouch managed to get further than her on your scale of importance. I don't know how, because he sounds like he was a brat when he was a child."

"He wasn't so bad." Suzaku raised one shoulder in a shrug. "It just took a little getting used to."

"When you say things like that I don't believe in you." Kallen took another drink. "So hurry up and make your decision, because I have enough problems of my own without worrying about yours."

"I never asked you to worry about mine."

"And the same goes for me. But we're friends." Kallen winked at him. "It comes with the territory."

Suzaku caught himself smiling, really smiling. For a moment, the expression felt odd. He had only smiled like that around Lelouch before, because that was the only place where he felt that he had returned to his life eight years ago. And that was strange in itself because he had accepted that life would have to go on, he would never be able to go back to that time when his life was all play and he wasn't a murderer. So it was strange to be actually seeking something like he had in the past just for the comfort of it.

He closed his eyes, abruptly cutting off the line of thought before he got confused. Suzaku sighed, reaching up with his free hand to rub at his neck. He was content just to think that he wanted to regain that friendship and move on from that.

Suzaku opened his eyes as Kallen knocked into him. "Hey."

"It's nothing, just thinking."

"Don't do that too much; you'll just end up doing something stupid."

"Really?"

Kallen shrugged. "You've done it before. That's why we're around, to keep you on an even keel."

"And what do I do for you two?"

"You kept Gino and I from killing each other." Kallen grinned at him, the expression a little strained but there.

Suzaku gave her a weary smile in return, finally taking a sip of his drink. It was strange; Kallen was willing to open up to him while he was keeping his secrets. Although one of his biggest secret was known already and it would probably be spread around the castle. He shivered at the thought. His father would finally be shown as the collaborator, which was right. But Suzaku didn't want to become a hero. He had not done anything worthy of being a hero.

"So, what are you going to do?"

Suzaku shrugged. "I'll probably wait it out, especially after what happened." Suzaku lowered his head when Kallen glared at him. "They need time to settle after this."

"So this means you'll at least try to get the position you want?"

"Maybe." Suzaku carefully didn't look at Kallen. She would expect an immediate action, but then there was the fact that Lelouch had forgiven him for killing his father. Lelouch had thanked him for his actions, even though it was an order. He had never expected thanks let alone forgiveness for the things that he had done.

He stared at his drink before setting it on the floor. He stood up, resting a hand on the back of Kallen's chair. "You'll be alright."

Kallen nodded. "Maybe he'll be able to get some sense into you. Somehow the two of you managed to be good for each other, at least from what I've seen. He's managed to get you to act instead of react." Kallen chuckled. "Go on then, I'll stay with this idiot. I'll save some yelling for you."

Suzaku laughed and walked out of the room that had been converted into a makeshift hospital for Gino and Rolo. He rolled his shoulders, intending to head back to the barracks. Lelouch had asked him to stay around, but it was too late for any other discussions, but he would keep himself available as per Lelouch's orders. But he was sure that the guards would be having a party to celebrate that Nunnally had come back alive and he wasn't in the mood for a party; he just wanted to go somewhere quiet. The only place that fit that description was Lelouch's room and he wasn't sure that he would be welcome there.

He looked up, realizing that he had walked to Lelouch's room automatically. Suzaku stared at the door, swallowing. It wasn't his place to do this, especially after he had spent the entire day away from Lelouch. He pulled his hand back from the door knob. The barracks probably wouldn't be that loud, especially if he shut the door. No one would bother him there; they were all used to him shutting himself up.

Suzaku jumped as the door opened, staring at Lelouch as the prince peered out through the crack. The moment stretched between the two of them, Lelouch the one to step back and open the door wider. Suzaku glanced at his friend's face, catching the brief hopeful look that was sent his way. He still had the chance to leave and change his mind, he was sure that Lelouch wouldn't begrudge him that. But then there was the fear that leaving Lelouch alone would mean that he would disappear.

Against his better judgment, Suzaku tipped his head to the side. "Can I come in?"

"Do you have to ask that?"

"I…I may have lost the right to ask that."

Lelouch stepped out of the way. "You just avoided me all day, nothing bad enough to warrant that."

Suzaku licked his lips, slipping past Lelouch and stepping into the room. He stared at the bed before looking back at Lelouch. The prince had shut the door and was now leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Suzaku dropped his gaze to the floor, tensing when he heard Lelouch sigh.

"Thank you for coming after me." Suzaku looked up at Lelouch, not sure what to make of the statement. He was about to protest when Lelouch waved a hand. "You're not allowed to tell me not to thank you. You put yourself in danger for my sake and I should have acted faster on all accounts or at least found back up that would have followed me without protest."

"I would have, but-"

"You were busy."

"I really wasn't." Suzaku shrugged, taking a few steps back to distance himself from Lelouch. He wasn't sure what Lelouch's reaction would be to the news and he was sure that Lelouch wouldn't immediately react with physical violence. But the distance would help. Maybe it would even convince him that he was making the right choice by going with Euphemia. "I was…I just needed time to think."

"About what my mother said?" Suzaku flinched, watching as Lelouch took a deep breath. "I've spoken her about it and voiced my disapproval. She doesn't have the right to bully you into this position."

"But it might be the best thing."

Suzaku wished he hadn't spoken up when Lelouch looked at him. Lelouch's eyes were wide and Suzaku saw one of his hands twitch before Lelouch closed it into a fist. Suzaku ducked his head, edging closer to the door. He was probably choosing the worst time to talk about this; Lelouch was tired and stressed out. It would be better to apologize and retreat while he could. He turned to leave the room.

"Stop."

Suzaku automatically came to a halt, staring at the door before shaking his head. It would be better if he disobeyed the order this time. "Lelouch, I…"

Lelouch slipped between him and the door, blocking the door with his body. Suzaku refused to meet his gaze, tensing when Lelouch reached out to grab his chin and force him to look up. Even then Suzaku looked for somewhere to look other than at Lelouch. He could tell the point when Lelouch got annoyed at him, the fingers on his chin shifting. "You said you wanted to be my personal knight. You were willing to give up anything to become that. Was that a lie?"

"N-no." Suzaku shook his head, feeling Lelouch's fingers loosen their hold a fraction. "But all of my decisions never seem to end well. If that's the case, it might be better if I stayed away."

Lelouch huffed, letting go of Suzaku's chin and leaning back against the door. "You know that's not much of a reason."

"I know. But can you blame me?"

Lelouch narrowed his eyes. "Yes, because you're giving up."

"What?"

"You're giving up on something that you wanted. You didn't give up on me, even though you knew that there was a slim chance of finding me again."

"But that was different."

"How? How was not giving up on me different than this?"

Suzaku shrugged. "Because that was making sure that you were alive. This is making sure that you stay alive."

"How can you be sure of that? You said it yourself, princes have to trust their knights and there's no one I trust more."

"There might be…Kallen or Gino could-"

"They could. But Gino will eventually have to take over as head of his family and divide his loyalty. Kallen's first priority is her mother and then proving to the world that she can hold this position on her own. She wouldn't take the position anyway, because it's yours."

"It's not."

"I gave you that pin to prove it to you!" Lelouch took a step forward. "I had it that night to make sure that you wanted to be my knight. I gave it to you before we ran because I wanted you to know that you would have someone waiting for you if something went wrong. We're still friends, Suzaku. Even if I can't remember every single thing we did, we're friends. We were friends before everything else, which is why I trust you to guard me or tell me if I am doing something wrong."

Suzaku stared at Lelouch, torn between shouting back and just staring in shock. Without thinking he took a step forward and grabbed Lelouch's arm. "Then why didn't you just tell me?'"

"Because you were, and still are, mostly an idiot and I was a spoiled brat who enjoyed being showy."

"You still are."

Lelouch blushed, mumbling something under his breath before pulling away from Suzaku. "Well, how else was I supposed to tell you that I didn't want you going anywhere for the rest of your life? Back then you would have said no just on principle."

Suzaku opened his mouth to argue that he had never been that stubborn; stopping abruptly the longer he stared at Lelouch. He was finally thinking over what Lelouch had said instead of just processing it for the purpose of coming up with a response and it made sense. He had always just thought that the pin had just been a way of Lelouch trying to encourage him to hurry back. He had never once thought that Lelouch had seriously meant it as an offer of knighthood.

He shook his head and let go of Lelouch. "I just don't want to be the cause of anything bad that happens."

"Idiot. If anything, I'll probably be making your life miserable." Lelouch smiled. "And this is the only time I'll admit it."

Suzaku smiled back, surprised when Lelouch reached out to touch his shoulder. He expected to be hit or pulled into a hug. Instead, Lelouch just gave Suzaku's shoulder a squeeze. Suzaku swallowed and reached up to put his hand over Lelouch's, closing his eyes. At last there was some distance between them, so Suzaku could begin to explain why he was seriously considering going with Euphemia. Then again, he had used his one argument for going with Euphemia early on and Lelouch had already talked his way around that. And then there was Suzaku's own reluctance to let Lelouch out of his sight. Lelouch had already proven that he sometimes forgot about his own safety tonight by running after Nunnally without any back up. There had to be someone around Lelouch, someone to keep Lelouch steady in times of crisis.

He sighed and shook his head, trying to pull his hand from Lelouch's. Lelouch didn't let him, grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. "Have you already agreed with mother?"

"No, I wanted to think it over for a bit. Consider it…" Suzaku shook his head. "The way it was offered, there was no other choice."

"And you thought that I wouldn't push for this?"

"I didn't know if you would be able to convince Marianne otherwise."

Lelouch chuckled, letting go of Suzaku's hand and walking back to the bed. "You honestly thought that I wouldn't push to have my own way? What kind of spoiled prince do you take me for?"

Suzaku turned to stare at Lelouch, bursting into laughter himself when Lelouch glanced back over at him. He followed Lelouch across the room, standing next to the bed as Lelouch sat down on the edge of it.

The prince tipped his head back to look at Suzaku. "So, tell me, what do you really want to do?"

He had been offered this ultimatum once, before he had known for sure who Lelouch was and Lelouch was offering him the chance again. Suzaku crossed his arms over his chest with a sigh. There wasn't much of a choice to be made in the first place, especially since he had already told Lelouch his decision just days ago. "I've already told you. I _want_ to become your knight. I want to be able to make sure you don't do something stupid like this again. But what I want and what I'm ordered to do are two different things."

"So, I have to order you to be my knight now?"

"No. You don't have to." Suzaku smiled, shifting his weight. "I can always refuse the position."

Lelouch leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. "And will you?"

"Yes." Suzaku was surprised by his own conviction, especially after trying to convince himself of the opposite all day. He blushed and looked down, he felt like a hypocrite immediately changing his mind. He was still frightened, still worried that someone else from the group would swoop in and carry off Lelouch next, and he wouldn't be in time. He would be struggling to catch up with Lelouch again, and there would be a real chance that he wouldn't get there in time.

Then there was the fact that the relationship between the two of them would become very awkward. Suzaku's time would be taken up by Euphemia during the day, and it wouldn't look good to have Lelouch trailing after them just for him. It would be the worst situation because it would be so easily to slowly ruin his relationship with both Euphemia and Lelouch by allowing that to happen. He had been avoiding thinking about the relationship when confronting his choices, because he knew that it was the one thing that he wouldn't be able to rationalize away.

"I'll refuse the position."

"And that's absolutely what you want?"

Suzaku rolled his eyes. "Are you going to keep asking me that?"

"Yes, until I know that you're sure." Lelouch raised an eyebrow.

Suzaku flinched at the implication, but didn't dare challenge it. He was glad that Lelouch had the grace not to talk about how easily he had been convinced to give up the one thing that he had worked for all of his life. He nodded, accepting the fact that he would have to start to earn Lelouch's trust all over again. Then again, it gave him a reason to stay close to Lelouch until that time.

"Good." Lelouch leaned back onto his hands, smirking up at Suzaku. "I suppose that it would be better to get you knighted before we go to Pendragon. It would make mother feel better to know that I have someone to look after me if things go wrong."

Suzaku stared at Lelouch with wide eyes. "Knighted? That soon? But I-"

Lelouch waved him off. "You have the disturbing tendency to try to punish yourself for your actions, even when they don't merit one. I know that, if Marianne had ordered you, you would have had no choice, which is why I don't hold this against you." Lelouch sighed, suddenly dropping the princely façade. "I don't think less of you because you killed your father either, if that's what this is about. You wouldn't have killed him without a good reason. And I doubt that you would have betrayed us after knowing what your father did."

"You can't be sure."

"No, but I trust you." Lelouch's smirk turned into a real smile. "According to you, that should be enough. Besides," Lelouch reached up to touch his neck, mirroring Suzaku's habitual motion, "you've already done so much for me it seems counter intuitive to believe otherwise."

Suzaku smiled back, stepping around Lelouch to sit on the other side of the prince. Lelouch leaned further back on his elbows, looking over at Suzaku from an almost reclined position. Suzaku countered by lying back on the bed, resting on hand on one of Lelouch's hands. He supposed that they should talk over how they would convince Marianne to change her mind, but Suzaku preferred to just rest and slowly come down from the adrenaline rush.

He was partially asleep when Lelouch lowered himself completely onto the bed, rolling to face Suzaku. "I never thanked you."

"You did." Suzaku smothered a yawn. "Back at the chapel."

"But that was for what you did when we were eight. This is for what you did. Thank you for coming after me. Although breaking the window was a bit much."

"I just acted. He would have shot you."

"I think I would have been able to keep him from firing for a few more minutes. Surely enough time for you to reach the door."

Suzaku laughed, rolling onto his side to stare at Lelouch. Lelouch gave him a content smile in return, squeezing Suzaku's hand. Suzaku shook his head, scooting closer to Lelouch so he could wrap his arms around the prince. "I thought that you would appreciate the dramatic entrance."

Lelouch's reply was muffled in Suzaku's shoulder. When Lelouch didn't repeat the response Suzaku assumed that it wasn't important. And, in the end, he didn't care. He pressed his face into Lelouch's hair, taking a deep breath and letting it out as a sigh. He was sure that Lelouch would encourage them to move up to the pillows and under the covers soon enough, but that would involve actually untangling himself from Lelouch, which was the last thing on Suzaku's mind.

* * *

><p>Euphemia set her book down, leaning to the side to watch the people moving around in the garden. She had been outside a few moments ago, but had come back in when the sun had started to give her a headache. Her original intention when she had returned was to visit Nunnally and to keep her company, but Nunnally was too absorbed with keeping Rolo company despite his protests. Euphemia chuckled, flipping her book shut and leaning her chin on her hand.<p>

Nunnally was probably going to be kept inside by Marianne until they were all sure that they were in no more danger. Lelouch had said that they weren't in danger anymore, but Euphemia didn't blame Marianne for taking precautions. Marianne had almost lost her daughter and her son that night. Thankfully, Nunnally was too worried about Rolo to protest, although Euphemia was sure that the guard was dying of embarrassment because the princess was so obviously doting on him. What Euphemia wasn't sure about was if Nunnally was doing it because she was honestly worried about Rolo or the worry was mixed in with actual feelings of love. Rolo had been Nunnally's main guard once he had come to the house when Nunnally was ten, probably so Marianne could have someone other than Suzaku watching over her daughter. While the motives behind putting the two together had not been the best, Euphemia was glad that they worked well together and that it freed up Suzaku for Lelouch.

She sighed and tipped her head to the side, watching Suzaku and Lelouch walk around the garden outside. It had been a tense few days, Nunnally's predicament aside. At least Nunnally had acquiesced to her confinement until further news, having to worry about tension between Nunnally and Marianne would have made the whole situation worse.

The problem was, in its most basic form, that both Lelouch and Marianne were far too stubborn for their own good. Neither of them were willing to back down or compromise on the issue, let alone talk to the people involved. Guilford and Cornelia had gone to the townhouse in the city to avoid the arguments that would start up when Lelouch and his mother met in the halls. And the only person who could possibly stop the arguments was too consumed with worry for her guard to actually do anything. For the moment, they were reduced to avoiding both Lelouch and Marianne in the hopes that the problem would be solved by the time that the week was out. Euphemia could only imagine what the trip to Pendragon would be like with Lelouch and Marianne still at odds.

She huffed and leaned her shoulder against the window. What she really wanted to do was to tell the two of them to come to an agreement without all of the shouting. Her sister was getting married in two weeks and the wedding had already been changed to benefit the empire. Cornelia deserved to have her peace where she could get it if they were going back to Pendragon. Most of all, she wanted to tell Marianne that she had no right in trying to assign a knight, even if it was Suzaku. Euphemia was a princess and, therefore, allowed to pick out a knight herself. No one needed to approve the knight, it was the royalty in question's burden if the knight was not suitable for them.

Euphemia shook her head, watching Lelouch and Suzaku lean closer together to speak. It was probably not in Suzaku's favor that he had asked for the position so close to Lelouch's return. Marianne was bound to be overprotective of her only son. And then that man had attacked.

They still didn't know who he was. The searches had been diverted into finding if more people were trying to kill members of the royal family, but nothing had been found. Even in the OSI had come up with nothing, which made Lelouch's statement that the man who had kidnapped Nunnally had held a grudge against him alone the best explanation, even though they didn't know what that grudge was. Suzaku had been perhaps a bit too efficient, shooting to kill instead of to injure. There could have been more information to be gotten, even if it was a few more names. But the fact that Suzaku had acted that quickly should have been in his favor.

She looked up from the window as there was a knock on the door, Euphemia trying not to show how shocked she was when Marianne came in. Jeremiah followed her, standing in his usual place by the door. Euphemia spared a moment to look at him, seeing that he looked a bit run down. That in itself was no surprise; Jeremiah was probably exhausted from trying to keep Marianne and Lelouch from meeting up and then accompanying Marianne on her many trips to get away from the castle.

Euphemia turned on her seat, uncrossing her legs and setting her feet back onto the floor. "Sir Gottwald could use a break."

Jeremiah jerked at the mention of his name, probably trying to put together some kind of protest.

Marianne was faster. "I know, but nothing can be done about that. We have this week to get through and then the celebrations in Pendragon."

Euphemia bit her lip to keep herself from mentioning that it would be easy enough for Marianne to end the tension. She looked down at the ground, carefully considering her next words. She was already frustrated and she didn't want to say anything wrong. It was far better to stay silent than to make it worse.

"Marianne, there is something that needs to be done." Euphemia paused to look quickly at Marianne. "I…It was nice of you to look after me like that, but I don't need a knight. I'll be staying in Pendragon after Cornelia is married and I was planning to look for a suitable knight there."

"You already asked Suzaku."

"I did, but that was more because I liked him than anything else." It wasn't true, but that was the closest that Euphemia could get to explaining why she had chosen Suzaku.

Suzaku was competent enough and she had always felt safe with him. Even before the massacre he had been nice to her, offering to dance with her at the balls and always treating her like how she thought a proper princess had to be treated. It was why she had always asked him to accompany her when she had visited with Marianne.

Euphemia wondered now if she had just been fueling a childish crush by having him act as her guard, but that didn't change the fact that Suzaku was fixed in her mind as Lelouch's. He had been Lelouch's friend when they were little, the one that seemed to know Lelouch better than Nunnally did, the one that could get under his skin just as easily as Schneizel could. Suzaku had never known how to treat her as a person, but he could handle her as a princess. There was some part of Euphemia that was jealous that Lelouch had gotten to Suzaku first but in another way she was relieved.

Suzaku would always strive for perfection, especially where the royalty was concerned, and Euphemia didn't have the ability to talk him down from his failures. Lelouch was the one that possessed that ability and Euphemia didn't think that he would tell her the secret. Lelouch had been notoriously possessive about what he considered his, whether that pertained to real people or to inanimate objects.

Finally, there was the fact that they were so obviously infatuated with each other. Euphemia wasn't sure if they had loved each other when they were children, she hadn't known how to look, but it was interesting to watch them now, watch the careful distance they maintained when they were thinking about it and how they fell back to leaning in too close to each other when they weren't. Then there were the quick glances when they thought no one was watching and the equally as quick touches. Euphemia didn't know how long it had gone on or if they were even acting on it, but she wasn't willing to get into the middle. It was far safer to distance herself now than to deal with a broken heart.

Euphemia sighed. "I was seriously considering him then, but I've had time to think it over. And I think he would do far better with Lelouch."

As expected, Marianne gave her a shocked look. Euphemia didn't know how many people had told Marianne that answer, but she was willing to bet that it was far more than Marianne would have liked. Euphemia leaned forward. "The purpose of a knight is to protect his charge and I think that Suzaku would rather die than have Lelouch hurt. He's proven that much already. And, I have never seen Suzaku more comfortable than when he's around Lelouch. It may have been ten years, but I don't think that either of them has really noticed that. It would be far better to have a knight who knows their charge well than to have them nervous around their charge at all times. Suzaku would be nervous around me because I'm a princess to him. Lelouch is…Lelouch."

She didn't expect her explanation to make any headway with Marianne, she was sure that Marianne had been told the same thing many times. But at least Marianne had the chance to realize that it was just the truth. Everyone wouldn't repeat it if they didn't think it was true.

"In any case, it hardly matters, because I won't accept him. I find it an insult to even think about forcing Suzaku into accepting a position that he has already refused and for good reasons."

"He refused because he was looking for Lelouch."

"And now that he has found Lelouch there isn't any difference. He was essentially trained to be Lelouch's knight, to deal with Lelouch alone. Any other royal and he will fail." Euphemia smiled, trying to soften her words. "And I don't think you want him to. If Suzaku isn't like a son to you then you at least look on him favorably."

Marianne was silent, Euphemia expecting her to ignore the logic in the argument. Euphemia probably was the one most in need of a knight, especially if she was going to be in Pendragon. Lelouch would just come back to the castle, which was probably the safest place, but Euphemia didn't think that Marianne would agree to that logic either, especially when Lelouch was concerned. Then again, Marianne was remaining quiet and looking like she was thinking hard about the problem. Maybe there was a difference in hearing the same answer from one of the calmer people included in the argument. Although, why Nunnally hadn't been able to sway her mother Euphemia could only begin to guess.

Euphemia clasped her hands together, trying to figure out something to say to break the silence. "How is Rolo?"

Jeremiah was the one to answer. "He should be ready for light duties within the week. The wound in healing well but will restrict him to the more mundane tasks. It wasn't deep enough for stitches but too deep to expect Rolo to return to his position full time easily. In the mean time, Lady Kozuki will stand in for him.

Marianne held up a hand to quiet him, the smile returning to her face. "He'll be completely restored to his position without a penalty."

Euphemia stared at Marianne for a moment, mentally debating if she should speak about her observation or just let the subject drop. She glanced toward the window, catching another one of Suzaku and Lelouch's quick touches. She smiled, shaking her head before looking back at Marianne. "You won't penalize Rolo for the mark that was left on him?"

Marianne took a moment to answer. "Of course. He did nothing wrong and he acted in the best manner."

"But you won't question his loyalty because of it?" Euphemia didn't give Marianne the time to answer. "Because Suzaku did the same thing."

She expected some sort of response from Marianne; it was another answer that Marianne wouldn't be happy about. Instead Marianne slumped in her seat. "I was hoping that no one would notice that, but at least it wasn't Lelouch. I don't think that he would forgive me if he came to that conclusion on his own. I expect that he intends to throw that at me tonight."

"Then wouldn't it be easier to just allow Lelouch what he wants?"

Marianne nodded. "It would be easier, but would it be the right thing to do?"

"Lelouch would be safer. I don't think there could be anyone better."

Marianne shrugged, standing up and walking to the window. Euphemia turned in her chair, getting another glimpse of Suzaku and Lelouch. "They remind me so much of Charles and myself. We would ignore everyone in favor of spending time together. We were so sure that no one noticed us, but who wouldn't notice a Knight of the Round and the emperor together? At least they have some quiet here."

She sighed and turned to look at Euphemia. "I've been buying time for myself, to look into these things. Suzaku has been nothing if not loyal, but I had to be sure." Marianne pushed away from the wall, pausing to glance at Euphemia. "Are you sure about your decision?"

Euphemia nodded, barely hiding her shock as Marianne left the room. She had expected Marianne to speak to her more, to try and convince her further. Euphemia leaned forward, peering out into the hall before getting up. Nunnally wouldn't move from Rolo's side unless it was vitally important and Euphemia would have remained in her room if she hadn't suddenly felt like something was wrong. Marianne had just agreed with what Euphemia had said before walking off instead of arguing.

She sighed and rushed after Marianne. There was a chance that she might be able to end the argument. Euphemia wasn't sure if throwing all of her support behind Lelouch would actually work or just make it worse. If nothing else, she could mediate so there wouldn't be another long evening of ignoring each other.

* * *

><p>Marianne didn't pause as she walked out into the garden, hearing the faint jingle as Jeremiah followed her. She turned her head, just enough to see that Jeremiah was wearing his sword. When Jeremiah had first become her knight, shortly after she had married Charles, he had made sure to wear all of the required weapons instead of just the guns and knife that most knights preferred. He still tended towards the full regalia, but there were days when he would forgo them, and those days were getting more frequent the longer they stayed away from Pendragon.<p>

She turned her attention to the gardens, looking to the spot where she had last saw Suzaku and Lelouch. They were on the side of the garden nearest to the fountain, which was too close to the maze for comfort. There was nothing dangerous there any longer, the body had been moved and the glass had been mostly cleaned up, Jeremiah had said that a few of the crews were still working on clearing the smaller pieces. The window would be boarded up until they were back from Pendragon. It still didn't do much to ease her worry.

Still, everything she had heard from the OSI had proven that the most dangerous members of the Geass Order were detained or dead. The others that were still missing were just the lower level members, the ones that had just joined or had been deemed not worthy enough to know the full cause of the group. That in itself was disappointing, because they would never be able to draw the full story out of the higher members of the group and see what they had been planning for the future. Instead they had to rely on the collection of documents that they had pulled from the Geass Order's headquarters, and Marianne was not about to believe that they had recovered all of the documents, even with the OSI working on the information stored on the computers. One file detailing the stay of one Suzaku Kururugi with the Geass Order and been found and looked over.

When Suzaku had brought Lelouch back, the idea that he could have done so under orders had never entered her mind, at least until she had been falling asleep the night after Lelouch had been presented to them. The timing had been too perfect, with the Geass Order being discovered and Lelouch suddenly appearing with Suzaku. Then there was the fact that Marianne had never really been able to bring herself to trust Suzaku, not when he wouldn't talk about what happened to him after they had left the night of the massacre and what had happened when he was being held by the Geass Order. That the assassin from the Geass Order had chosen to kidnap Nunnally so soon after Lelouch returned was just another warning sign. It had made sense to hold off granting Lelouch's request until she was sure.

The OSI had been nothing if not through. Marianne had been receiving a steady stream of information about Genbu Kururugi's involvement and his son's captivity ever since Lelouch had encouraged her to speak to Nunnally and Suzaku about what happened in the chapel. Marianne had just turned to the OSI instead as Nunnally was too focused on Rolo and Suzaku was never seen without Lelouch nearby. But the information had revealed nothing new, save for Genbu's involvement in the events leading up to the massacre. Suzaku hadn't told the Geass Order anything, despite what they had done to him. Just reading the record had been enough for Marianne to regret not allowing Lelouch his request. She was a soldier and used to the gristly business of torture, but she had never thought to use such methods on a child.

Even so she would not regret waiting for the information to come in. Knowing that Suzaku was as loyal as everyone claimed him to be, and knowing for sure, was enough to make up for the guilt that she had felt for doubting him.

It didn't take long for Suzaku to notice Marianne and Jeremiah, Marianne gratified to see that Suzaku's first reaction was to take a step closer to Lelouch, even though he knew who the two of them were. She turned her head to hide her smile, looking back when she heard Lelouch clear his throat.

"Mother." The word was accompanied by a bow, Marianne returning with a nod. Lelouch straightened up, barely looking at her. "Is there something wrong?"

"I just wanted to borrow Suzaku for a moment."

"Why?"

Marianne didn't bother to answer, waving Suzaku forward even as she held her other hand out towards Jeremiah. Suzaku hesitated for a moment before stepping forward. Marianne smiled at that. "Your sword."

Jeremiah was slow to obey her order, Marianne not moving until her knight had pressed the hilt of his sword into her hand. Marianne glanced at the blade, suddenly wishing that she had dug her own out of her closet. While it was only a ceremonial sword, there was something nostalgic about it, something special that an ordinary blade just couldn't hold. And, if she intended to do this right, it should have been with Suzaku's own sword, but she hadn't planned that far in advance. She hadn't been sure about what she was going to do until Euphemia had refused Suzaku as her knight.

"Kneel and bow your head."

Suzaku nodded, taking a step forward only to jerk to a stop when Lelouch grabbed his arm. Lelouch glared at Marianne, trying to pull Suzaku back. To her relief, Suzaku pulled away from Lelouch and obeyed her order.

The show of distrust from her son was unnerving. Marianne hadn't done anything to prove that Lelouch couldn't trust her, and it was all too easy to see what Lelouch believed what she would do. She might not have trusted Suzaku with Lelouch before definitive proof had been presented to her, but that did not mean that she would do anything to harm Suzaku. Suzaku had been given to her to care for after C.C. had saved him, and it had never crossed her mind to get rid of him. He was the perfect soldier, someone who obeyed orders without question and made sure to do his job well. And she had been fond of him before, when he had always been over at the Aries Villa. He was the only one who had managed to control Lelouch, something that she had been thankful for when she had had her hands full with Nunnally.

Marianne took a step back as Suzaku knelt at her feet, switching her grip to the sword with both hands. The ceremony was supposed to be something filled with pomp and circumstance, yet she was knighting him in the garden with Suzaku in jeans and a t-shirt. She was sure that most of the nobles in Pendragon would be cringing at the very thought, but Marianne could think of nothing better. Suzaku wasn't like them, this knighting suited him. It was a reward for his loyal service, recognition of Suzaku himself instead of parading around the fact that he was the son of the former Prime Minister. And it was an apology for having to wait for so long.

She took a deep breath, and presented the sword to Suzaku, watching as he fumbled with it for a moment. He gave her a shocked look.

Marianne just smiled, looking down on him. "Suzaku Kururugi wilt thou upon this day pledge thy fealty to Britannia and stand as a knight of the crown?"

Suzaku's eyes widened. He glanced down at the sword before nodded, Marianne shaking her head when he gave her a panicked look before stammering out the proper response. "Y-yes, your majesty."

"Dost thou wish to abandon thyself and be sword and shield for the sake of the greater good?"

"Yes, your majesty." Suzaku was quicker to reply this time, managing to sound confident in his answer. He switched his grip on the sword, offering it back to Marianne.

She took it carefully, meeting Lelouch's gaze before motioning for him to come over. Lelouch inched toward her, Marianne resisting the urge to just pull him over. She had started the ceremony for Lelouch, even though it should have been Lelouch speaking the words. But Lelouch had never attended a knighting ceremony and he probably didn't remember the few well known phrases that went along with it. But she refused to do this part for him. If he wanted Suzaku to be his knight, he would make the all important motions for himself.

Marianne rested a hand on Lelouch's shoulder, gently guiding him into position. She kept her hand on him, leaning over close enough to whisper into his ear. "Take the sword."

She felt Lelouch tense as he took the sword, noticing how awkwardly he held it. Marianne reached out, gently coaxing Lelouch into the proper way to hold it, carefully watching Suzaku for his reaction. For a moment, she thought that he would have preferred for her to knight him and then give him the assignment, but it seemed like her instinct had been right. Suzaku was staring up at Lelouch in a combination of awe and wonder. She smiled to herself, guiding Lelouch's hands down. "One each shoulder, just a tap with the flat of the blade."

Lelouch swallowed and followed her orders, his hands shaking. Marianne squeezed his shoulder as encouragement. He looked back at her when he was finished, Marianne removing her hands from her. "Do you want to repeat after me?"

He shook his head, his hands starting to shake again. "I want to do this. Tell me what to say."

Marianne nodded, leaning over to whisper the words in his ear. When she was done Lelouch nodded, her son taking one hand from the sword to wave her back. Marianne was shocked by the quick dismissal, but she took a step back. She had already taken most of the ceremony away from Lelouch, so it was only right that she allowed her son this much.

Lelouch took a deep breath, speaking the words a bit too fast. "I, Prince Lelouch vi Britannia, do herby dub thee, Suzaku Kururugi. May your courage devotion become a shining example to the people of the Empire."

He looked back at her, looking completely lost. Marianne shook her head, gesturing toward Suzaku. "Give him the sword."

Lelouch thrust the sword back at Suzaku, almost a bit too fast. But Suzaku simply took the sword and made a motion like he was sheathing it. Suzaku remained kneeling on the ground for a few moments more before standing up. Marianne reached over to take the sword when it was offered to her, returning it to Jeremiah as he walked over to her. "We'll make sure you have everything that you need before we leave for Pendragon."

Suzaku bowed in acknowledgement but didn't move from Lelouch's side. Marianne caught Suzaku resting a hand on Lelouch's arm, probably because Lelouch looked overwhelmed. It hadn't been the best decision to spring this on Lelouch so suddenly, especially when they had just been arguing over the subject. But there was a bit of satisfaction, the faint feeling that she had managed to gain some measure of victory by surprising Lelouch.

Marianne smiled. "We could hold a more formal ceremony if you would prefer that. I'm sure we could manage that."

A brief look of terror crossed Suzaku's face before he shook his head. "No. This is more than enough."

She nodded, turning to walk back to the castle. With the issue of Lelouch's knight settled all that remained was to begin preparations for their return to Pendragon. Marianne made a mental note to bring some of her personal guards just to be sure that another Nunnally incident wouldn't occur. Schneizel wouldn't be able to deny her that request.

Marianne waved Jeremiah away when he tried to follow her, the knight bowing before going off on his own errand. He would see to gathering the proper weapons for Suzaku. It would her job to make sure that he had the right clothes for court, which was just another thing to add to her growing list.

She looked away from Jeremiah at the sound of someone running towards them. Marianne relaxed as she saw Euphemia approaching, reaching out to intercept her before she could go to where Suzaku and Lelouch were standing. She gave Euphemia's arm a squeeze, gently turning her back toward the castle. "Give them time. Lelouch will be overwhelmed enough as it is when we return to Pendragon."

"What do you mean?"

"Suzaku has been knighted and assigned to Lelouch." Marianne paused a moment to let Euphemia absorb the information. "They only have a few days before they are both up into a stressful situation."

"Maybe you should have knighted him sooner."

"Maybe, but I didn't have all the information that I needed. The only thing that matters is that it's done." Marianne looked down at Euphemia. "This does mean that you'll have to find someone else."

"I'm sure that Cornelia has a few suggestions and I have a few soldiers in mind who deserve the honor."

Marianne nodded, looking back over her shoulder at Suzaku and Lelouch before turning back to the castle. She escorted Euphemia as far as the front entrance before returning to her office. She hoped to get some work done before allowing herself to get distracted. Nunnally would probably appreciate the company. And it would give her a chance to see if Rolo could be willing to continue his duty in Pendragon. His mother would be present as would the rest of the Haliburton family and Rolo preferred to stay away from them as long as long as possible. Sticking close to Nunnally would keep him out of the worst of it while reporting that he had remained behind because of an injury, then his mother would demand a visit. Following the usual pattern, Rolo would only have to go to one dinner with his family and all others could be avoided.

Marianne walked into the study, beginning to work out which guards to take and which to leave behind. Jeremiah would offer his suggestions, but she wouldn't bother him until he came back. She settled behind her desk, digging out her list. Marianne glanced out the window behind the desk, her gaze sliding over her shelves and settling on the box that held her knight pin. She smiled fondly before shaking her head. Now was not the time to get lost in memories, she would be cooped up inside all day if she kept that up and she hoped to try and get Jeremiah to spar with her. It had been ten years since she had been to Pendragon but she wanted to keep her reputation. It wouldn't do to have people think that Marianne the Flash had taken advantage of years of little work had had let herself go.


	14. Epilogue: Back To Who I Was

**Epilogue: Back To Who I Was**

Lelouch leaned on the balcony, staring out into the garden of the Imperial Palace. He sighed, playing with the empty glass in his right hand. He wanted to delay going back into the ballroom as long as possible. The press of bodies and the constant low hum of talking was enough to make him want to run. Lelouch turned his head, watching the play of lights in the glass.

It had been a long few days. Lelouch had barely had time to breathe since he had arrived. They had been rushed to meet the emperor and then Lelouch had gone through a long series of parties and social calls. To his horror, the attention had been diverted from Cornelia and Guilford to himself. To make it worse, Cornelia seemed to prefer that Lelouch took up all of the attention.

At least the end was in sight. Cornelia and Guilford had been married that morning and the reception was still going on. Lelouch couldn't imagine Marianne wanting to stay once the bride and groom had left. Then again, he had noticed that his mother had seemed livelier since coming back to Pendragon. Lelouch shivered in disgust. He didn't want to live here; he missed the quiet and calm of the castle. There was some part of him that knew that he would eventually get bored of that quiet, but he still felt too exposed in Pendragon, he still needed people to tell him things. Without his memories of the people and how they acted, he was just another puppet to be used. Having Marianne and Nunnally as allies wouldn't protect him for long and Lelouch preferred to be able to stand on his own, he had been doing that for too long to change.

He tipped his head back, staring at the sky and a bit disappointed that there was nothing but just black. The lights from Pendragon and from the imperial palace itself were too bright. Lelouch sighed and went back to staring at the lights reflected in his glass, catching glimpses of people as they went past. He tensed as something blocked the lights from the hall, turning around to see who was coming.

Suzaku was standing in the doorway, looking concerned. Lelouch smirked, turning around completely so he could lean his back and elbows against the railing. "Afraid that I had managed to fall off the balcony?"

"It is my job to protect you, your highness." Suzaku frowned, walking over and leaning on the railing. Lelouch tipped his head, watching Suzaku out of the corner of his eye. "And you're not making it easy on me."

"I have been the picture of the perfect prince."

"Yes, but you have a habit of finding places to hide when you need to." Suzaku sighed, tapping a finger on the edge of Lelouch's glass. "And that makes it difficult for me because I have to give you the illusion of being alone while making sure you're completely safe."

"Is the job too complicated then?"

"I like a challenge, your highness."

Lelouch chuckled, looking away from the ballroom so he could see Suzaku's face. He was disappointed by the blank look on Suzaku's face. That was something for the other knights who were just assigned to their royalties, Suzaku was his best friend. He snorted and reached over to tap his finger against Suzaku's forehead. "None of that. When we're alone, I'm just Lelouch."

"We're hardly alone now."

"Here and now, I'm just Lelouch. Add a prince in front of it if you have to, but nothing else. I'm just starting to have people scraping and bowing to me."

"But you enjoy it."

Lelouch's first instinct was to deny it, but the look on Suzaku's face said enough. Suzaku could easily counter any argument that he came up with. The easiest way to win and to save himself some of his pride was to concede.

"I do, but it does get tedious. I need one person who will set me straight."

"I live to serve."

Lelouch raised an eyebrow at the comment but didn't speak, turning his attention back to the dancers. Every once and a while he would catch a familiar face, his mother dancing with one of the noble men, Cornelia with her new husband or Euphemia dancing with Crown Prince Simon. He craned his neck, almost sure that he saw Nunnally dancing with a very embarrassed Rolo. He relaxed, abandoning the princely posture that he had kept up the entire night. "Did I ever like these?"

"You liked them more than I did." Lelouch shot Suzaku an annoyed look. Suzaku chuckled and shifted a little closer. "You tolerated them."

"Ah. That makes sense." Lelouch pushed away from the railing, intending to go back into the ballroom. He had remained out on the balcony long enough. Marianne or one of the other princesses would come to get him any minute and encourage him to join the party again. A slow dance was just finishing up, so he wouldn't have to choose a partner too carefully, he would just have to work through the daughters of Marianne's allies. He still remembered what most of them looked like from when Marianne had pointed them out at the start of the reception. He would just back out during the slow dances again, to avoid having to choose a partner that would have any serious political implications.

Lelouch reached for his glass, freezing when he saw that Suzaku's cravat had come undone and was resting over his shirt. Lelouch shook his head, stepping closer to Suzaku. "Stand still."

"What?" Suzaku jerked back, earning a frustrated groan from Lelouch.

"I said hold still." He stepped in front of Suzaku, pinning him against the railing. Suzaku froze, staring up at him as Lelouch undid the cravat. Suzaku jerked back, his hand rising to cover the tattoo on his neck. Lelouch rolled his eyes and pushed Suzaku's hand away. "I won't make you go out there with that uncovered. I'm just fixing this. How did you even get it like this anyway?"

"So you say." Suzaku chuckled, adjusting his coat. "And you make it sound like I've been taking every chance to mess this up."

"I don't know, have you?"

Suzaku looked shocked before he broke into laughter, actually leaning on Lelouch for a split second before he remembered himself. Lelouch paused in the act of reaching for Suzaku before dropping his hands back to his side quickly. It wasn't that they weren't allowed to be affectionate around each other, being the personal knight to royalty came with the expectation that they would end up in bed together as some point, whether it was a relationship or just a one night stand. But Lelouch was unsure enough around the guests in the ballroom and he didn't want them invading this part of his life, what was private would be kept private.

He looked up as Suzaku cleared his throat, the knight offering him a smile. "I've been doing my best to keep from ruining this outfit too much. A knight is a reflection of his prince, remember?"

"_Suzaku, you look like a mess!"_

"_Hey, I stayed inside all of today and didn't move from my chair once this…thing was on."_

"_As my knight-"_

"_I'm not your knight yet, Lelouch. I'm too young."_

"_As my knight to be you have to look the part. You reflect me, remember?"_

"_Of course I do, Lelouch."_

Lelouch blinked, staring for a moment before he smiled softly. "Yeah, I remember."

He stepped to the side, using the motion to disguise how he reached for Suzaku. Their fingers brushed against each other before Lelouch moved away, picking up his glass from the railing. He raised it, looking through it at the people in the ballroom, heaving a sigh. "Come on. I have to make an appearance before someone thinks I've been kidnapped."

Suzaku tensed. "That's not funny, Lelouch."

"I know it's not." He lowered the glass. "But I feel confident enough in saying that you would come and rescue me no matter what trouble I got myself into, whether or not you felt that I could get out on my own."

Lelouch gave Suzaku a smile, trying to apologize for the comment. He wouldn't apologize out loud because it would imply that what he had said was untrue. He was sure that Suzaku would come after him no matter what, and he would never apologize for believing that. It was the same strange logic that spurred him on to return the favor. He wouldn't be able to do everything that Suzaku could do, but Lelouch was sure that he would be able to work through the system if Suzaku ever needed it.

Lelouch paused just outside of the ballroom, shivering. "How much longer?"

Suzaku looked thoughtful. "An hour, maybe two. But definitely not longer than three. Cornelia and Guilford should be heading to bed by then, so the party will break up."

Another hour sounded like torture to him, especially judging by the eager looks that he was already getting. Lelouch guessed that it was a bit too early to start turning down women, especially since he couldn't dance with Suzaku, Suzaku would probably protest because he wouldn't be able to watch Lelouch properly. But he was thoroughly sick of listening to them talk and simper about things he didn't know about and could care less about.

He reached up to rub the bridge of his nose with one hand. "Is there a chance of sneaking out earlier?"

"I'll look into it." Suzaku bowed before slipping back a pace from Lelouch's side.

Lelouch turned his head, disliking the distance between them but accepting it. It was the proper etiquette between a prince and a knight, but he would have preferred to have Suzaku closer. He was sure that Suzaku would intimidate some of the worse ladies away. Then again, Suzaku did possess a certain boyish charm that might attract them. Lelouch sighed, giving the idea up as a lost cause. He would have to remain for at least another hour before he could slip out, he was sure that Suzaku would have found a way out by then. All he could do was smile and keep himself from making too big of a mistake.

He gave Suzaku one last look before carefully making sure that he kept his bland smile on. He had quickly found out that the people of the court responded better to a smiling prince than one with just a blank expression. The knights and the emperor were the only people who could carry the blank expression and be left alone. Sure that he was ready, Lelouch stepped into the room.

Almost immediately the girls that had been waiting for him rushed over, Lelouch barely keeping his smile in place as he was encircled. He nodded at them, managing to part them for a short time to retrieve another drink and deposit his empty glass before he was surrounded again. He resigned himself to listening to them babble over the latest news of the court, useless to him because he had never heard the old news.

He let his gaze wander as they talked, quickly finding and meeting Suzaku's gaze. He had meant to go through the crowd and mentally rehearse the names of the courtiers again, but he found Suzaku quickly and easily. Lelouch relaxed, his smile coming a bit easier. It didn't matter that he would have to suffer through another hour of the party, because he would be done after this. He could sneak up into his room with Suzaku and enjoy the peace and quiet there before spending the next day with his mother and sister. Maybe Euphemia would come over as well. And it would be enough, his own private world in the whirlwind of the court.

There he could be just be Lelouch. Not Prince Lelouch vi Britannia, the newly returned prince and current favorite of the courtiers, a long lost brother with a carefully constructed mask and act. Not Lelouch Lamperouge, the lost Britannian from a Japanese orphanage who had spent his days staring at a locket in the hope that some memory would return to him. He was just Lelouch, the one who rivaled Marianne for stubbornness, worried a bit too much about his sisters and was probably hopelessly in love with his knight. It was all far better than he would have thought his life would have turned out to be and he was fine with that. He was fine with just being Lelouch.

END


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